The Diamond Challenge: Round 3 - Wk 2 (DITR)

OK, so in keeping with the theme of this web site, here goes...


A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks over at his wife and says: "Your butt is getting really big, I mean really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue."
With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife's bottom.
"Yes, I was right; your butt is two inches wider than the barbecue!!!"
The woman chose to ignore her husband.
Later that night in bed, the husband is feeling a little frisky.
He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks. ..............
She answers: "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-*kitten* grill for one little weenie?

Good afternoon ladies and thanks for the warm welcomes I have received so far!!
Congrats on the weight loss, I hope to bring the same losses to the group, plus I want some of those diamonds in my signature!

I don't have any favorite or funniest jokes, but this one is funny

A newlywed couple moves into their new house.
One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?"
A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?"
Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?"
The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls.
Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"

Happy Monday Diamonds!

Congratulations on a truly awesome week last week! I have been doing this challenge for fifteen weeks now, and I can honestly say that last week stood out as the best week yet. Your energy level is AWESOME, and I know that we will keep that momentum going this week and for the coming weeks.

As a group Diamonds in the Rough achieved the HIGHEST weight loss number that the group has ever seen! CONGRATULATIONS ladies on an unheard of total loss of 55.2 pounds! In fact, the actual loss was over 60 pounds (DITR does not calculate weigh loss over 5 pounds due to the factors that typically cause such an extreme loss). We ROCKED it ladies.

Now let's celebrate our biggest losers on each team.

Congratulations to Sarah (sazvampire) for losing 5 pounds for the Blue Diamonds!
The Pink Diamond leader was Lisa (lisa_lotte) with a loss of 3.5 pounds.
Representing for the Yellow Diamonds was Michelle (michelle_eiz) who lost 4.4 pounds! Great job ladies!

All of our teams did a great job, but one team had a runaway lead! Congratulations Blue Diamonds who lost a tremendous 25.3 pounds. You ladies rocked it! The Pink and Yellow Diamonds are neck and neck with 14.8 pounds and 15.1 pounds respectively.

We celebrate every loss in Diamonds in the Rough, so congratulations to all of the winning losers. Every loss is a success! Great job to all of the following ladies (in alphabetical order). You ROCKED this!

Kathy M 2.5
Kristin A 3.6
Kristin M 1
Krystle 1.8
Laura 0.7
Lauren 2
Logan 2.2
Malissa 2
Maria 3.4
Maureen 2.2
Molly 1
Monja 0.8
Nicki K 0.5
Nicola 1.8
Nikki J 1
Pam 2.8
Y'Teva 2

Both our team and individual winners can claim their diamond ring here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/118GUu1IVHAVXHjgLJ-Ns95Ir30jkj7RmFxT627meXYo/edit?hl=en_US&pli=1

And now for the moment you have all been waiting for. How did the Diamonds in the Rough measure up against the DiamondDolls? Unfortunately, this week the DiamondDolls were the victors... they beat us by TWO pounds. You know what this means ladies! This is a CLOSE game and it is truly time to kick it into high gear to kick some DD butt! Let's GO!

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Question of the Day: What is the funniest joke you know?

My response: Okay, I'm not exactly a comedian, but here it goes:

John took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked the man. "I want to get weighed," said the girl. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize. Next the couple went on the ferris wheel. When the ride was over, John again asked Kim what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said. Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and John lost his dollar.

The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," she responded. By this time, John figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake. Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?" Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy."

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Below is the list of upcoming QOTD's. For a complete list please visit the DITR Toolbox.