Easily one of the worst days of my life

2

Replies

  • 3babybeans
    3babybeans Posts: 8,268 Member


    And there ain't NO daddy out there who allows some stupid man to mess with his baby girl!!!!

    my dad is a retired Marine too....maybe I should have him have a "come to Jesus" meeting with my husband!

    Only if he sends him to Jesus.

    I think we should send Carl to help! :glasses:
  • Turn this into one of the best days of your life....not only are you leaving, you are also teaching your daughters that there is more to life than being verbally abused. Do not blame yourself for his actions, he is who he is and that's all there is to it. I know that this will be hard as he is someone who you love and who is the father of your girls, but in the long run it is the right choice. The harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing.
  • sunflower8926
    sunflower8926 Posts: 485 Member
    So sorry that you had to take that abuse. I have had those kind of relationships in my past, and I know how hard it is to leave.

    Dysfunctional people seem to hate to see growth of any kind in the people around them. They will act out in these terrible, demeaning ways to try to claw us back down to thinking poorly of ourselves. It is a lie. It is a last-ditch attempt to regain their feelings of power by exercising power over you.

    You are a human being, worthy of respect and the ability to grow and become all that God has for you to be. Congratulations for loving and taking care of yourself, and don't let anyone pull you back down. You deserve to be loved and respected! We are here for you!
  • Poison5119
    Poison5119 Posts: 1,460 Member


    And there ain't NO daddy out there who allows some stupid man to mess with his baby girl!!!!

    my dad is a retired Marine too....maybe I should have him have a "come to Jesus" meeting with my husband!

    Oh, girl, that kinda crap never works, and even if it did, it'd be for like, a minute. Then back to the old patterns. As long as this ars has a willing punching bag, he'll be a threat. I'm happy you are courageous enough to do what you need to to save yourself and your little girls.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,416 Member
    Get an attorney. Get a restraining order (you have enough to get one.) Insist on SUPERVISED visitation with your children. Don't talk to him at all for at least a month so you can focus on what you need to do.

    I've been in two physically abusive relationships. They will try anything and promise anything to get you back. Don't re-engage this scary person.

    We care about you. :flowerforyou:
  • dragonfly81
    dragonfly81 Posts: 272 Member
    What everyone else said. :flowerforyou: I'm new here, but no one deserves to go through that kind of abuse.
  • GTOgirl1969
    GTOgirl1969 Posts: 2,527 Member
    Thank you all for your kind words. I'm at my brother's house now and they are happy I'm there. It's nice to be around people who don't treat me like dog crap.:ohwell:
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    Thank you all for your kind words. I'm at my brother's house now and they are happy I'm there. It's nice to be around people who don't treat me like dog crap.:ohwell:

    Don`t ever accept that or feel that it is something you have to put up with...it isn`t.
    There is no lower form of humanity then a man that is abusive or violent to a lady.
  • Thank you all for your kind words. I'm at my brother's house now and they are happy I'm there. It's nice to be around people who don't treat me like dog crap.:ohwell:
    So glad to hear you made it to your brother's house! Stay strong and don't talk to him - at least for awhile. My mother is going through a divorce with an emotionally abusive man right now (not my dad) and she keeps talking to him even though he verbally abuses her when they talk! It's really affected her mental well being, so try to be strong and not talk to him!
  • Anna_Banana
    Anna_Banana Posts: 2,939 Member
    Thank you all for your kind words. I'm at my brother's house now and they are happy I'm there. It's nice to be around people who don't treat me like dog crap.:ohwell:

    Good stay there and don't go back. Nobody should be treated that way. And if they do it once they'll do it again, no matter how sorry they say they are.
  • bugmagnt
    bugmagnt Posts: 150
    Glad to hear you are safe and sound now... you obviously have a very caring and supportive amily and lots of freinds here! My thoughts are with you. Stay courageous and strong. You are your girls are worth it!
  • may_marie
    may_marie Posts: 667 Member
    people like him make me mad :mad:

    gather all your strengh and do it !!!! be strong .. you can get though anything !!!!

    my thoughs are with you :flowerforyou: glad your somewhere safe,
  • mommachag
    mommachag Posts: 318
    go to the police station get a temporary restraining order and then the next day court is open go and place an injunction for custody.
    if i had done this I would have saved $$$$ in the divorce and custody crap that took forever
  • rmarlow
    rmarlow Posts: 64
    I woke up and was immediately verbally attacked by my husband. He called me every filthy name in the book, all because I couldn't get my daughter to get up for school the first time I called her. When I tried to stand up for myself, he threw a glass of water in my face and told me to "cool off". How demeaning! Sounds like something you'd do to a dog:frown: He also threatened to punch me in the face, I thought he was going to swing on me. I have always said that him hitting me is a deal breaker. I am leaving for good. I would rather be alone than be with him for another day.:cry:

    All I can say is you go girl. Leave him. I would say that him throwing a glass of water in your face is bad enough. Under some laws, that is assault. You're better off without stuff like that. Besides, what I see in the picture, you could have any man you want.
  • 3babybeans
    3babybeans Posts: 8,268 Member
    go to the police station get a temporary restraining order and then the next day court is open go and place an injunction for custody.
    if i had done this I would have saved $$$$ in the divorce and custody crap that took forever

    DO IT DO IT DO IT! You don't want to wait until he decides to come & find you! Listen to those that have been there! Stay away & protect yourself & your children!
  • age1389
    age1389 Posts: 1,160 Member
    Stay strong!!! Don't look back and stay away from him:flowerforyou:




    -Adrienne:heart:
  • AmyNVegas
    AmyNVegas Posts: 2,215 Member
    GTO this post scared me when I read it and I will tell you why- my older sister went through 15 years of abuse with her ex-husband. He was always verbally abusive at first and then came smacking and then the last straw- she had just had surgery to remove a grapefruit sized ovarian cyst and had only been out of the hospital about four weeks when he got mad because she came home a few minutes late from work and beat her in her stomach until she couldn't stand. She finally left him. Her reason for staying most of those years was her daughter but then in the later years he had her self esteem so low she thought all she could get was him. She has been away from him for 6-7 years now and has a wonderful fiance and 2 new little ones. The best part is he loved her through the problems and they are perfect for each other.

    Please don't go back. You were not meant to be abused and there is someone out there who will love you and your kids and not treat you like a dog but like the wonderful woman you are. :heart:
    Amy

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  • Poison5119
    Poison5119 Posts: 1,460 Member
    go to the police station get a temporary restraining order and then the next day court is open go and place an injunction for custody.
    if i had done this I would have saved $$$$ in the divorce and custody crap that took forever

    GTO, take the above advice VERY seriously and do what it says. Reason: if you have children with him (I thought you did), he can walk RIGHT UP TO YOU on the street, take those girls from you physically, and take them home with him and it won't be considered kidnapping, and you will then have a very messy custody battle going on. File the order asap will protect you legally, in both the long and short term..
  • keiko
    keiko Posts: 2,919 Member
    I am glad to hear that you are safe at your brothers.
    If you do not have the money for a lawyer contact the nearest womens shelter. You do not have to be staying there to take advantage of their services. They can help you with lawyers, counseling and other things.
    Please don't go back to this man. You and your daughters safety is at risk if you do. Abuse will only get worse if he does not seek treatment. Which he says he won't.
  • briblue72
    briblue72 Posts: 672 Member
    :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:
  • sunflower8926
    sunflower8926 Posts: 485 Member
    :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:
    Ralph Waldo Emerson
    Men are respectable only as they respect.
    :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:
  • That is definately NOT the type of man you want to stay with especially if you have a child.

    I was listening to the MJ morning show on the radio one morning and they were talking to teens-adults who have been in a relationship like that. One girl said her bf/husband would always hit her and the one time she actually fights back, he knocks her out and she wakes up in the hospital handcuffed to the bed. She was arrested because she fought back, mainly because HE called the cops while she was unconcious. Just because he called them first.

    It upset me when i heard about it :frown:
  • MTGirl
    MTGirl Posts: 1,490 Member
    Hey GTO - glad you got out. I had to leave an abusive relationship about 10 years ago and I fully understand what you're going through. Yours sounds a lot like mine was. It's hard to get out - sometimes you really think you are the crazy one! Just remember, when the NEED to go back hits you - come on here for some sanity. I don't know why it happens, but that desire to be back with the abuser is so strong at times. I prayed relentlessly that God would not allow me to be deceived by him again - and the Big Guy pulled through for me. When he would call to talk - my oldest is his daughter - he would have intentions of being nice to me and trying to convince me to come back and he would open his mouth and vile would spill out - his true self. I thank God everyday that he protected me from getting sucked back into that mess. My ex was arrested Christmas day that year and is still in prison 10 years later! I would have been involved in the disaster he created and my daughter would have been abandoned. We're here for you - talk to us when you need to!!
  • TRLTAMPA
    TRLTAMPA Posts: 824
    I left an abusive husband with just the clothes on my back and 3 little babies. I would never go back and I won't put up with anything like that from a man now. I kinda grew my cahones from that experience.
  • may_marie
    may_marie Posts: 667 Member
    Hope your still alright GTO ... give us some updates when you can ..

    meanwhile keep safe !
  • gustergirl
    gustergirl Posts: 534 Member
    I am going through something similiar and for your kids you need to get out! It will seem rough now but in a couple of months you will look back and be so happy. I would totally let your dad go off on him and let him know that you are protected. I would take out as much money as you could today and all of your belongings-do not make any unneccessary trips than you have to.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,416 Member
    Hi, GTO!

    I hope you're hanging tough. As I said - a vet of two abusive relationships - I think of you and know it is hard. Of course, my thoughts are don't talk to him - but in case he gets to you somehow.......

    If he tells you "I love you," remember LOVE doesn't feel like that. They confuse us by using that word. This is not love.

    If he tells you no one else will ever have you - tell him, "I wouldn't count on it!"

    If he says, "I'll go to counseling, I'll do what it takes, I'm sorry, it'll never happen again," Say ,
    "Counseling is a great idea, good for you."
    "You SHOULD be sorry."
    "You're right - it'll NEVER happen again. Have a nice life. Goodbye."

    :heart: cm
  • GTOgirl1969
    GTOgirl1969 Posts: 2,527 Member
    Thanks all for your support. I am doing well, at least I have peace now. I'm looking for a job and meanwhile, to help out, I'm taking care of my niece Elizabeth. I'm not worried about him flyin' off the handle at me anymore which is a good thing. Thanks again everyone for thinking of me.:flowerforyou:
  • 3babybeans
    3babybeans Posts: 8,268 Member
    Stay gone, girl! If the urge ever comes back thinking that you want to go back to him/take him back...open this thread & read it WORD FOR WORD. Stay gone & stay strong! *hugs* Listen to CM! She knows what she's talking about!
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,416 Member
    "All we are saaaaayyyyyiinnnnnnn', is give Peace a chance."
    ___________________________________________~~~~~~John Lennon

    Rent the documentary "The United States versus John Lennon" DVD. It's so awesome.

    I'm very hopeful, for you GTO

    oxoxo cm :flowerforyou:
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