Lost 13lbs since January but no one notices!
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I've gained 20 lbs before and been told, "Wow you look great! Are you losing weight?".8
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I think it is a combination of everything mentioned in this thread - that some people feel it's rude to comment on changes in others' weight, that people don't "see" older women (this is a very real problem), your personal body composition, and the clothing issue.
Of those four things, the one thing you can change is the clothing, so go for it! I am your same height and went from 146 to 130, and for a while I was swimming in my clothes. Not only did my old clothes not show anything off, I think they made me more unnattractive because I had to pull up my pants super high and belt them, everything was baggy, etc. I'd say treat yourself to some new, form-fitting, eye catching outfits that highlight the areas you've seen the greatest change in and more people will take notice.11 -
If you are still wearing the same clothes and they are just looser then probably it's harder to tell you did. Also, when you are around someone everyday at work it's harder to notice weight changes. My sister, when we were younger, lost a lot of weight and became anorexic and it took my Uncle, who lives out of state, to notice and bring it to our attention.7
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I've dropped about 13lb since March 7th, and no one has said anything to me either. I'm 5'4.5" and 21 years old. My jeans I was wearing at first are way too baggy to wear, and the next jean size down feels a bit large, too.
But honestly, I wear baggy sweaters and shirts a lot, and that can cover any weight loss, ya know what I mean? I'm not really showing off my -13lb figure. Also, some people feel uncomfortable pointing out when someone has lost weight. It can come off as rude. And another thing is how often are you seeing these people? Daily? Monthly? People who haven't seen you in a while are more likely to notice.
But in due time, people will notice. You said you wanted to lose another 7lb, and you've already lost 13. 20lb is a more significant difference, and likely more people will notice. But again, it will sometimes come off as rude, so people may not say anything at all. As long as you're comfortable and notice changes, then you're set.2 -
They are probably afraid to if they've ever been on these boards where some people see it as a personal insult for anyone to say a single thing about another's appearance.
"Have you lost weight?" is worthy of physical violence according to some people.4 -
Not one person has noticed that I've lost weight - I'm down from 140 to 127 and I'm 5'3 1/2" tall. I've gone down in clothes sizes - I'm working out so I've toned a little - maybe not a whole lot. But what gives? In the past when I've lost 5 lbs people comment. Now nothing - not my boyfriend, my best girl friends, no one! I specifically didn't tell anyone I was dieting just in case it didn't work out - again.
It took me losing 35 pounds before my colleagues & friends noticed to a point where they commented; which started just this week. They see me all the time and the loss was gradual over the last 4 months, so I guess it wasn't obvious right away.
But congratulations on your success!2 -
Discussing people's weight is extremely rude and tacky. Would you want them to mention if you gained 20 lbs? No. Unless someone tells me they are working on losing weight I'm probably not going to bring it up because it makes me extremely uncomfortable when people start going on about my weight.6
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I've lost 102 and mostly nobody says a word ( few close friends do). But that's ok, I know I've done good and feel better. Talking about someone's weight is weird anyway.6
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I think it is a combination of everything mentioned in this thread - that some people feel it's rude to comment on changes in others' weight, that people don't "see" older women (this is a very real problem), your personal body composition, and the clothing issue.
Of those four things, the one thing you can change is the clothing, so go for it! I am your same height and went from 146 to 130, and for a while I was swimming in my clothes. Not only did my old clothes not show anything off, I think they made me more unnattractive because I had to pull up my pants super high and belt them, everything was baggy, etc. I'd say treat yourself to some new, form-fitting, eye catching outfits that highlight the areas you've seen the greatest change in and more people will take notice.
I think you're right! I've been hesitant to get more form-fitting things because I haven't been able to wear them in so long and then my age makes me feel a little funny about dressing in tighter clothes - but I'm going to go for more fitted items - might as well enjoy this new waist thing I've got going!
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I noticed a girl at work lost weight but did not feel comfortable saying anything to her. what if I was wrong, what if she was sick, ?? I overheard saying she was not eating cake because it is not allowed and now will say something to her. Honestly, except for my closest family I would not bring up weight loss with anyone unless then mentioned they were trying to lose weight.2
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I bet some people have noticed but are too jealous to say anything! That happens, like it or not. We can all be mean-spirited inside sometimes.
Generally I think it's safer not to comment on someone's weight, either way. My husband lost 50lb over the course of a year a few years ago, and virtually everyone we know commented on it every time they saw him. At first he was thrilled, but after a while he felt a bit upset about it: "Was I really that overweight before? Did I look that awful?" he asked me! Also it got very, very boring to constantly be discussing diet and weight, and we both felt it wasn't desirable for this to be the primary topic of conversation in front of our impressionable children.
All of that said, if one of my close female friends lost a good bit of weight, and I knew she had been wanting to do so, I would compliment her. I would probably say something like "You look great, really healthy and fit right now" rather than commenting on the weight piece specifically.7 -
I lost probably between 20 and 30 pounds before anyone commented. That was only two sizes down.
Its because people who see you every day adjust to the loss. Heck, I even adjust to how I look now and need to check photographs of myself from a few months back sometimes just to make sure I have lost!
I've never felt invisible, just ignored. I'm 66. Nobody young likes to think about what they might look like fast forward 40 years from today. Lol!
I can't help reminding them by still existing. Nobody should have to hide! 6 -
I've lost 102 and mostly nobody says a word ( few close friends do). But that's ok, I know I've done good and feel better. Talking about someone's weight is weird anyway.
I've lost 70+ pounds and very very few people have said anything--I don't like having my body commented on, so I would never do it to someone else.2 -
I've lost 20lbs (I'm 5" 2') and no one has said anything. Which is fine by me because I'm very introverted and hate it when people draw attention to me. I look in the mirror and can't see a major change, but I've lost inches all over and can fit in my smaller hiking gear, which is cool.4
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nlwilliams60 wrote: »Why do you care? You know you've lost weight and making changes.
I care because I see big changes in my body, energy level and attitude. This is profound and amazing to me and I'm so happy about it - and yet, inexplicably it's invisible to those closest to me. So what does that say? Does it say I'm just this invisible older woman who people don't really see anymore? Does it say the people I consider closest to me either don't feel close enough to compliment me or close enough to know they wouldn't offend me?
While I never did this for anyone else I suppose subconsciously I was looking forward to a few pats on the back. And I can do this without that for sure - I am obviously but I'm simply curious about what's behind it.
Your weight loss and what you're doing is not nearly as profound and amazing to others as it is to you. Save yourself some grief and drop any expectation of people being interested in it. That way if they are, it's a great surprise and if they're not, they're simply meeting your expectations.
This also. People have a lot of other things going on, a lot of things to distract them. And frankly, many don't give a hoot if their friend/family member lost a few lbs. They may say congrats or something and then go on to talk about last weeks season finale of Hell's Kitchen.
Do this for YOURSELF. Not outside approval.
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My medical student son once told me that weight loss is not noticeable at first because the first place you lose weight is around your organs. I really don't know if it's true, but it kinda makes sense.2
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A lot of times, people can tell something has changed, but don't know what exactly. I have people tell me they like my new hairstyle. I have the same auburn mid-back length hair I've had since 1998.5
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People don't say things for a number of reasons.
It's can be viewed as rude. Frankly I don't care for the comments
People can't tell by the clothes you wear. When I was younger a friend had stop by to get a ride to work from my mom. She looked huge. Like 9 months huge. My mom wanted to ask her if she was pregnant. She changed for work and she then looked the way she normally did, less than 12 hours after that she was holding her baby boy. Fun times.
Afraid you're sick. My mom lost 50lbs. We were at a family bbq and no one had said anything until the end. My great grandmother's brother pulled my mom to the side and asked if she was sick. He had been battling cancer and had lost a lot of weight because of that and was concerned that she was too.2 -
Some people just dont say anything. After 20lbs lost nobody said a thing except my mil. Even though people noticed like all my sils. But now that ive lost 30lbs people say more now. If anything its annoying constantly hearing how im too skinny and im perfect and to stop. Especially when im 145lbs so im not a twig or unhealthy skinny2
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ericatoday wrote: »If anything its annoying constantly hearing how im too skinny and im perfect and to stop.
But this at least is much better than "How much do you still have to lose?".5
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