Lost 13lbs since January but no one notices!

pvju · May 2016

Not one person has noticed that I've lost weight - I'm down from 140 to 127 and I'm 5'3 1/2" tall. I've gone down in clothes sizes - I'm working out so I've toned a little - maybe not a whole lot. But what gives? In the past when I've lost 5 lbs people comment. Now nothing - not my boyfriend, my best girl friends, no one! I specifically didn't tell anyone I was dieting just in case it didn't work out - again.

I'm not doing this for other people's approval but this is just weird. I sometimes re-weigh myself because I'm wondering if I'm crazy.

I'm guessing it's my age - people aren't checking out your figure once you're in your mid-50s I suppose, so fluctuations in weight just don't register maybe? I guess it's true that middle aged women are truly invisible.

I still feel great and I'm committed to losing another 7 lbs. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this?

jemhh · May 2016

People may have noticed but not said anything. I wouldn't say anything to a yoyo dieter.

JanetMMcC · May 2016

I'd lost more than 40 pounds before people started noticing. Then it seemed several people were asking me every week if I'd lost weight. When I was at goal and saw some people for the first time in a year or so, they asked about it timidly, then said they'd been afraid maybe I'd lost it because of illness.

Rocknut53 · May 2016

Are you doing this for yourself or for someone else? Like jemhh said, "I wouldn't say anything to a yoyo dieter."

RosieRose7673 · May 2016

I never comment on people's weight unless they begin talking about it and asking what I think.

I've always felt very uncomfortable when anyone asks my weight, if I've lost weight, been working out, etc. I just think it's no ones business. I'm guessing other people probably feel this way also.

AlyM725 · May 2016

I lost 20 pounds and didn't even notice it myself. It takes time.

smiles4jo · May 2016

Yep, I've lost 30 lbs since January and exactly one person other than my mother has commented. People just don't comment...

WakkoW · May 2016

Weight can be a sensitive subject and it can be considered rude to comment on someone else's body. And I agree with the comment above regarding yo yo dieting. Your friends/family might not want to bring it up because of your past history of regaining.

ncboiler89 · May 2016

pvju wrote: »

Not one person has noticed that I've lost weight - I'm down from 140 to 127 and I'm 5'3 1/2" tall. I've gone down in clothes sizes - I'm working out so I've toned a little - maybe not a whole lot. But what gives? In the past when I've lost 5 lbs people comment. Now nothing - not my boyfriend, my best girl friends, no one! I specifically didn't tell anyone I was dieting just in case it didn't work out - again.

I'm not doing this for other people's approval but this is just weird. I sometimes re-weigh myself because I'm wondering if I'm crazy.

I'm guessing it's my age - people aren't checking out your figure once you're in your mid-50s I suppose, so fluctuations in weight just don't register maybe? I guess it's true that middle aged women are truly invisible.

I still feel great and I'm committed to losing another 7 lbs. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this?

Have you noticed? I'm sure you have! That's what matters.

AlyssaPetsDogs · May 2016

RosieRose7673 wrote: »

I never comment on people's weight unless they begin talking about it and asking what I think.

I've always felt very uncomfortable when anyone asks my weight, if I've lost weight, been working out, etc. I just think it's no ones business. I'm guessing other people probably feel this way also.

I have lost about 23 pounds and many people have started telling me they notice/asking me if I lost weight. It was flattering at first and a good confidence booster, but it has started to make me feel a little uncomfortable.

One of my male friends who lacks most social cues actually asked me how much I weighed. I was pretty upset. You just don't ask that in normal conversation.

I think many people may notice, but would rather not say because it is a touchy subject. Personally, I'm doing this for me so I'm not bothered if people don't say anything!

Jthanmyfitnesspal · May 2016

jemhh wrote: »

I wouldn't say anything to a yoyo dieter.

Harsh.

jemhh · May 2016

Jthanmyfitnesspal wrote: »

jemhh wrote: »

I wouldn't say anything to a yoyo dieter.

Harsh.

Why is that harsh? Many of us on here have yo-yo dieted a bit.

pvju · May 2016

I'm actually NOT a yo-yo dieter. I've fluctuated a little - in my twenties it was 115-120. In my thirties and forties it was 125-128. When I say I've tried diets and failed - basically I never lost anything or lost just a couple of pounds. I've never lost this much and put it back on - except once 20 years ago when I went through a very stressful time - NOT a diet.

It's just been the last 7-8 years that I've gradually put on significant weight up to 140. I'm in my fifties, post-menopause - so just normal aging stuff.

These days people are more careful about commenting on people's bodies but still, I'd think those closest to me wouldn't be concerned with offending me, especially since they are well-aware of how much the weight gain has been bothering me.

The only thing other thing I can conjecture is that since I'm now in the range I was in for most of my adult life, I just look normal to them. Maybe the gain never really registered in the first place.

kshama2001 · May 2016

I'm a little taller than you but have to lose at least 20 pounds before people start commenting. I get more comments from those who don't see me regularly. Some people don't comment at all though.

pvju · May 2016

The other thing - sorry TMI - is that my chest has not shrunk with the weight loss and I feel like it makes me look huge in the torso - I was hoping to lose some more in that area.

nlwilliams60 · May 2016

Why do you care? You know you've lost weight and making changes.

varuamoon · May 2016

alyssadanielle2493 wrote: »

RosieRose7673 wrote: »

One of my male friends who lacks most social cues actually asked me how much I weighed. !

I would have told him, "Less than I did." and leave it at that. No real need to be offended. Most people are curious when you get right down to it. When I first actively lost weight, a friendly co-worker was curious, I told her and she was shocked that I weighed within pounds of her. She assumed I was much lighter. Yet when I compared us in looks alone, I felt like a hippo when I stood next to her.
In regards to people not noticing, have you changed up what you wear? For some it's a trigger for seeing someone's changes.

**edited, sorry cannot seem to get the quote thing right, sorry.**

pvju · May 2016

nlwilliams60 wrote: »

Why do you care? You know you've lost weight and making changes.

I care because I see big changes in my body, energy level and attitude. This is profound and amazing to me and I'm so happy about it - and yet, inexplicably it's invisible to those closest to me. So what does that say? Does it say I'm just this invisible older woman who people don't really see anymore? Does it say the people I consider closest to me either don't feel close enough to compliment me or close enough to know they wouldn't offend me?

While I never did this for anyone else I suppose subconsciously I was looking forward to a few pats on the back. And I can do this without that for sure - I am obviously but I'm simply curious about what's behind it.

pvju · May 2016

It may be that I haven't changed what I wear significantly - I have a few new things but mostly just enjoying the extra room in the old things

jkal1979 · May 2016

Another thing to keep in mind is that if these people see you on a regular basis then it might be harder for them to see it.

I know it's hard not to let it get to you. I've been there myself and it's why I gained back the weight I lost a few years ago. Just keep doing what you need to do for yourself.

jemhh · May 2016

pvju wrote: »

nlwilliams60 wrote: »

Why do you care? You know you've lost weight and making changes.

I care because I see big changes in my body, energy level and attitude. This is profound and amazing to me and I'm so happy about it - and yet, inexplicably it's invisible to those closest to me. So what does that say? Does it say I'm just this invisible older woman who people don't really see anymore? Does it say the people I consider closest to me either don't feel close enough to compliment me or close enough to know they wouldn't offend me?

While I never did this for anyone else I suppose subconsciously I was looking forward to a few pats on the back. And I can do this without that for sure - I am obviously but I'm simply curious about what's behind it.

Your weight loss and what you're doing is not nearly as profound and amazing to others as it is to you. Save yourself some grief and drop any expectation of people being interested in it. That way if they are, it's a great surprise and if they're not, they're simply meeting your expectations.

celadontea · May 2016

I've gained 20 lbs before and been told, "Wow you look great! Are you losing weight?".

sprc1616 · May 2016

I think it is a combination of everything mentioned in this thread - that some people feel it's rude to comment on changes in others' weight, that people don't "see" older women (this is a very real problem), your personal body composition, and the clothing issue.

Of those four things, the one thing you can change is the clothing, so go for it! I am your same height and went from 146 to 130, and for a while I was swimming in my clothes. Not only did my old clothes not show anything off, I think they made me more unnattractive because I had to pull up my pants super high and belt them, everything was baggy, etc. I'd say treat yourself to some new, form-fitting, eye catching outfits that highlight the areas you've seen the greatest change in and more people will take notice.

Bronty3 · May 2016

If you are still wearing the same clothes and they are just looser then probably it's harder to tell you did. Also, when you are around someone everyday at work it's harder to notice weight changes. My sister, when we were younger, lost a lot of weight and became anorexic and it took my Uncle, who lives out of state, to notice and bring it to our attention.

DaisyHamilton · May 2016

I've dropped about 13lb since March 7th, and no one has said anything to me either. I'm 5'4.5" and 21 years old. My jeans I was wearing at first are way too baggy to wear, and the next jean size down feels a bit large, too.

But honestly, I wear baggy sweaters and shirts a lot, and that can cover any weight loss, ya know what I mean? I'm not really showing off my -13lb figure. Also, some people feel uncomfortable pointing out when someone has lost weight. It can come off as rude. And another thing is how often are you seeing these people? Daily? Monthly? People who haven't seen you in a while are more likely to notice.

But in due time, people will notice. You said you wanted to lose another 7lb, and you've already lost 13. 20lb is a more significant difference, and likely more people will notice. But again, it will sometimes come off as rude, so people may not say anything at all. As long as you're comfortable and notice changes, then you're set.

brower47 · May 2016

They are probably afraid to if they've ever been on these boards where some people see it as a personal insult for anyone to say a single thing about another's appearance.

"Have you lost weight?" is worthy of physical violence according to some people.

StaPositv · May 2016

pvju wrote: »

Not one person has noticed that I've lost weight - I'm down from 140 to 127 and I'm 5'3 1/2" tall. I've gone down in clothes sizes - I'm working out so I've toned a little - maybe not a whole lot. But what gives? In the past when I've lost 5 lbs people comment. Now nothing - not my boyfriend, my best girl friends, no one! I specifically didn't tell anyone I was dieting just in case it didn't work out - again.

It took me losing 35 pounds before my colleagues & friends noticed to a point where they commented; which started just this week. They see me all the time and the loss was gradual over the last 4 months, so I guess it wasn't obvious right away.

But congratulations on your success!

Ready2Rock206 · May 2016

Discussing people's weight is extremely rude and tacky. Would you want them to mention if you gained 20 lbs? No. Unless someone tells me they are working on losing weight I'm probably not going to bring it up because it makes me extremely uncomfortable when people start going on about my weight.

KDar1988 · May 2016

I've lost 102 and mostly nobody says a word ( few close friends do). But that's ok, I know I've done good and feel better. Talking about someone's weight is weird anyway.

pvju · May 2016

sprc1616 wrote: »

I think it is a combination of everything mentioned in this thread - that some people feel it's rude to comment on changes in others' weight, that people don't "see" older women (this is a very real problem), your personal body composition, and the clothing issue.

Of those four things, the one thing you can change is the clothing, so go for it! I am your same height and went from 146 to 130, and for a while I was swimming in my clothes. Not only did my old clothes not show anything off, I think they made me more unnattractive because I had to pull up my pants super high and belt them, everything was baggy, etc. I'd say treat yourself to some new, form-fitting, eye catching outfits that highlight the areas you've seen the greatest change in and more people will take notice.

I think you're right! I've been hesitant to get more form-fitting things because I haven't been able to wear them in so long and then my age makes me feel a little funny about dressing in tighter clothes - but I'm going to go for more fitted items - might as well enjoy this new waist thing I've got going!

trishfit2014 · May 2016

I noticed a girl at work lost weight but did not feel comfortable saying anything to her. what if I was wrong, what if she was sick, ?? I overheard saying she was not eating cake because it is not allowed and now will say something to her. Honestly, except for my closest family I would not bring up weight loss with anyone unless then mentioned they were trying to lose weight.

Lost 13lbs since January but no one notices!

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