Compliment or Criticism...?
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Compliments and criticism go hand and hand when they aren't backed by an authentic statement about the person speaking them.0
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Maybe it's my personality but it really doesn't bother me what they say. What I'm going to say next may sound arrogant but a lot of the people here probably understand where I'm coming from. We have a different mindset and a different perspective then a lot of people out there have.
One of the biggest insults someone who is successful hears is that you're so lucky. What the average person doesn't understand is all you've had to sacrifice and endure. Al luck is when opportunity and preparedness meet.
They don't understand the time and effort we've put in into this journey the planning thinking about what we're going to have and how much and the consequences of not doing the right thing. Simple truth is many of them aren't willing to do what we do.
So enjoy the journey all you lucky people.
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Oh my. This is right on the mark!
My husband's been told to get me a sandwich. I've been called skin on bones and told that if I lose any more I'll look like Skeletor.
I'm not sure when people began to think they have the right to comment on someone else? I am so tempted to tell them to step away from the doughnuts or ask if they've lost their pod, but I never EVER have or will criticize someone's size or shape. I was taught better than that.
My body fat is 21%. I have muscles, even though I'm not curvy. Now without 60plus pounds of fat on my frame, I find that I'm small boned, not large. My rear end is no longer huge. I have not one chin, not three.
I've got to get used to these thoughtless comments, because I'm not going back to fat clothes! Ever.
And yes, it was hard, but sooo worth it!10 -
Best response: No I'm shooting for my birth weight.
Brilliant . . . . but my three year old toddler has genuine concerns that I'm going to "shrink to a baby" (her words)
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Oh my. This is right on the mark!
My husband's been told to get me a sandwich. I've been called skin on bones and told that if I lose any more I'll look like Skeletor.
I'm not sure when people began to think they have the right to comment on someone else? I am so tempted to tell them to step away from the doughnuts or ask if they've lost their pod, but I never EVER have or will criticize someone's size or shape. I was taught better than that.
My body fat is 21%. I have muscles, even though I'm not curvy. Now without 60plus pounds of fat on my frame, I find that I'm small boned, not large. My rear end is no longer huge. I have not one chin, not three.
I've got to get used to these thoughtless comments, because I'm not going back to fat clothes! Ever.
And yes, it was hard, but sooo worth it!
Have they even seen Skeletor? He's totally ripped!
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My husband lost 65 pounds in 9 1/2 months last year and the world.. I mean the entire world including his grown daughters that do not see him but a couple of time a years all asked "you lost weight, are you sick"?? or "you lost weigh are you sure everything is ok in life?"
I have....THREE separate times....complimented (I thought) someone on their obvious weight loss only to find out that they HAVE been sick, or depressed. And that's worse! So I've learned. Now I just tell someone "you look great." If they've been working to lose weight, they know what I mean. If they've been sick, it still sounds like a compliment.11 -
I've always been on the fence on this one. I think some people cannot recognize when they have become too skinny, like my mom that's 120 pounds and still thinks she's fat. I think people concentrate too hard on a number that they feel they have to reach in order to be successful, instead of really looking at their bodies and recognizing that they're already at a healthy weight. BMI isn't always the best indicator of YOUR specific healthy weight. But do you. It's your body and you get to decide how you want it to look.6
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Oh my. This is right on the mark!
My husband's been told to get me a sandwich. I've been called skin on bones and told that if I lose any more I'll look like Skeletor.
No kidding I am still laughing out loud at this! If someone would have said that to me I would have laughed in their face...
People's perceptions of 'normal' are all different. When you don't fit their normal they seem to have a need to let you know about it.
Other than his desperate need for a facelift, Skeletor would be a pretty good goal! Love to have his biceps!
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CindyFooWho wrote: »My husband lost 65 pounds in 9 1/2 months last year and the world.. I mean the entire world including his grown daughters that do not see him but a couple of time a years all asked "you lost weight, are you sick"?? or "you lost weigh are you sure everything is ok in life?"
I have....THREE separate times....complimented (I thought) someone on their obvious weight loss only to find out that they HAVE been sick, or depressed. And that's worse! So I've learned. Now I just tell someone "you look great." If they've been working to lose weight, they know what I mean. If they've been sick, it still sounds like a compliment.
The best comment I received came from an older woman in my church. She sits behind me and asked, "Have you been trying to lose weight?" When I answered, "Yes I have," she then said what a great job I've been doing and that I looked great. We've have a lot of people who have or have had cancer. Some have died. I think she did an excellent job of opening up the topic. If I had been sick or had cancer, she'd have felt horrible for telling me how great I was doing.12 -
I've always been on the fence on this one. I think some people cannot recognize when they have become too skinny, like my mom that's 120 pounds and still thinks she's fat. I think people concentrate too hard on a number that they feel they have to reach in order to be successful, instead of really looking at their bodies and recognizing that they're already at a healthy weight. BMI isn't always the best indicator of YOUR specific healthy weight. But do you. It's your body and you get to decide how you want it to look.
^ I agree with this completely. There are so many great responses in this forum. I think the ones that I like best involve knowing that you're making healthy choices for your body (and mind). And not putting too much stock in what people who barely know you say about your weightloss journey. I feel like the people in your life who know you and love you the most SHOULD get a voice about it if they are speaking from a place of concern that they want you to be losing the weight safely or maintaining a healthy body weight/body image.0 -
I was talking to my sister about this the other day. She's never been over weight. She gets comments all the time about her low (normal) weight. She was training for a Spartan race which included heavy lifting. She started dropping her already low BF% as a result. People came out of the woodwork to tell her that she was too thin, eat more, blah blah blah. From what I gather comments on weight is something that thin people deal with frequently, and we are now experiencing it. What is the saying, people judge you based upon how they view themselves?3
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I had my head snapped off by one of my sister's friends when I said she looked great. Nothing else. I compliment her on her clothes or hair specifically now since I know she's overly sensitive.
Some folks are just insecure or looking to be offended. I try to not be one of them, males my life less stressful.k0 -
My husband's been told to get me a sandwich.
I've been told by a registered dietitian to get my wife ice cream, dinner rolls, butter.
She was suffering with a degenerate disk in her neck and had quit eating. She had no appetite. I let her lose 40 lb and was willing to let her go 10 more but her psychologist referred her to the dietitian. That's all been resolved and she's back up.0 -
I think the "you aren't still trying to lose, are you?" is intended to be nice/as a compliment, to tell you you look like you are at a goal weight. I basically ignore it, as it's none of their business (but is intended positively). I laugh it off or just say "working on fitness, and whatever happens happens" or something like that. I don't feel compelled to explain my goal weight and why I picked it! ;-)
I get the cancer thing too, as I have a friend who has lost a bunch of weight (and looks good) while fighting cancer. I knew about the illness before the weight loss, but I'm sure that could be awkward if someone did not and said "you look great, how'd you do it!"
I actually heard that my former assistant was asking around to confirm I was not sick when I first lost weight.0 -
There's another thread on here asking "why hasn't anyone noticed I've lost 10lbs (or something)?"
Humans confuse me sometimes, must be easier being a bear, just growl at humans, scaring them, and spend the day looking for food.5 -
MalcolmX1983 wrote: »There's another thread on here asking "why hasn't anyone noticed I've lost 10lbs (or something)?"
Humans confuse me sometimes, must be easier being a bear, just growl at humans, scaring them, and spend the day looking for food.
Heh, too true.0 -
STEVE142142 wrote: »Maybe it's my personality but it really doesn't bother me what they say. What I'm going to say next may sound arrogant but a lot of the people here probably understand where I'm coming from. We have a different mindset and a different perspective then a lot of people out there have.
One of the biggest insults someone who is successful hears is that you're so lucky. What the average person doesn't understand is all you've had to sacrifice and endure. Al luck is when opportunity and preparedness meet.
They don't understand the time and effort we've put in into this journey the planning thinking about what we're going to have and how much and the consequences of not doing the right thing. Simple truth is many of them aren't willing to do what we do.
So enjoy the journey all you lucky people.
How many times can I jam that "awesome" button for this post?0 -
i have heard it all, from "are you ill" to "you look great" to being told how to do it better. dont worry about what others say. do it for yourself1
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I used to in the beginning from my mother-in-law. I think because they might only see once a month or so that they just haven't gotten used to seeing me this way. It is annoying, but I know that I am at a healthy weight for my height and age. I have started running and getting ready to run a half marathon in August, last weekend I told my mother-in-law I would take the local trail on an 8 mile run, her comment was you have to run that far to maintain...I quickly told her no that I enjoy running and it makes me feel good & I am training to run for the marathon, kind of shut her up. So whether it is a compliment or criticism or jealousy I really don't care at this point cause I know I look amazing.0
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"Thanks! I feel really great! How are you?" Turning the conversation to the other person always works 3
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