After he cancelled our 2nd date....

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myfavoriteyear
myfavoriteyear Posts: 31 Member
in Chit-Chat
I met a guy over the weekend and we had a great date on Saturday night. He texted me on Sunday to wish me Happy Mother's Day. Then yesterday morning he texted me saying he wanted me to come over last night. I said ok. But just before I was about to leave he texted me and said "I can't do it tonight." didn't give a reason. I texted back and said "No problem."

But about 15 minutes ago he sent me 4 texts in a row saying how are you, sorry something came up, I wish I could be with you now. Haven't responded yet. Truthfully I'm really interested in him but him cancelling last night was not cool. Just wondering what my next move should be. Would really appreciate any advice. Thanks!
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Replies

  • jenovatrix
    jenovatrix Posts: 219 Member
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    mangamadayan wrote: »
    His other date was bad last night and now he wants to re-engage you.

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  • RavenLibra
    RavenLibra Posts: 1,737 Member
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    yup yup... move on
  • jordyngiulio
    jordyngiulio Posts: 157 Member
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    It honestly sounds like he's looking for a FWB setup, so just keep your eyes open on that. But it that arrangement works for you - do your thing.

    He's 100% using you as a backup though. I once had a guy tell me "I have other plans tonight, but if they fall through, you could come over and watch Netflix if you wanted." Err, hard pass.
  • amfmmama
    amfmmama Posts: 1,420 Member
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    sounds sketchy.... too soon for sketch
  • myfavoriteyear
    myfavoriteyear Posts: 31 Member
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    Thanks all for the input. I'll write back to him and say I'm doing great and act like I haven't given it a 2nd thought. Put the ball back in his court. I have no expectations here.
  • Justpeachy02
    Justpeachy02 Posts: 11,817 Member
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    Maybe something really did come up... You said you had a great first date. Maybe one more chance any more red flags then walk away.
  • michelleborda1
    michelleborda1 Posts: 8 Member
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    A few problems: 1) Wanted to come over? How about taking you out? 2) no reason for the cancellation. It's tough, but I would say "no thanks."
  • dianeh47
    dianeh47 Posts: 16 Member
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    Keep your guard up. Sounds like he booked a date with you and then someone else called. Easier to cancel with you and go with the other person he may have know longer. I say move on. If you aren't worthy of his trust, he's not worthy of your time.
  • glassyo
    glassyo Posts: 7,627 Member
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    myfavoriteyear wrote: »
    Thanks all for the input. I'll write back to him and say I'm doing great and act like I haven't given it a 2nd thought. Put the ball back in his court. I have no expectations here.

    I'm not sure that was the point of all this advice.

    Are you looking for something casual because you said it was a great first date and you liked him but it sounds like he's just looking for a booty call.
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,339 Member
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    Between us, I would suggest not going to his place, or bringing ANY PROSPECTIVE BF to your place, until at least the 4th or 5th date. That will weed out the guys that are just looking for a quick hookup...you don't have to write him off after only one cancellation, but keep your guard up. Most guys that are "into" you would do anything NOT to cancel a date, and would make the effort to explain themselves so you aren't sitting there wondering.
  • 2011rocket3touring
    2011rocket3touring Posts: 1,346 Member
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    Honestly he sounds married. I can understand not wanting to be completely candid about "something came up", especially if you just met but 4 texts in a row is a serious red flag.
    Look him up on social media, a bit stalker-ish but your just being careful.
  • myfavoriteyear
    myfavoriteyear Posts: 31 Member
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    Yeah, I mean we did just meet and the plans were made same day. It was annoying when he cancelled though and not something I'd put up with on regular basis. I'll just leaving the ball in his court and making him do all the work for now...will see how it all pans out. He knows he won't hear from me if he doesn't text me first.
    aub6689 wrote: »
    I'm sorry, but I don't understand the big deal. He cancelled last minute one time. If there was a pattern then sure be suspicious or questioning, but once doesn't seem like enough to write him off. It sounds like your plans were made day of and it was a Monday night, so things easily do come up.
    I don't know that you know the guy well enough to not be understanding. What if something came up on your end? He also is texting you the next day. I think it is normal to keep your guard up and see if it becomes a repeat, but things happen. You can easily make plans to see someone because you are really into them and want to see them, but neglect that you had other plans or responsibilities.

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