After he cancelled our 2nd date....

myfavoriteyear
myfavoriteyear Posts: 31 Member
edited November 13 in Chit-Chat
I met a guy over the weekend and we had a great date on Saturday night. He texted me on Sunday to wish me Happy Mother's Day. Then yesterday morning he texted me saying he wanted me to come over last night. I said ok. But just before I was about to leave he texted me and said "I can't do it tonight." didn't give a reason. I texted back and said "No problem."

But about 15 minutes ago he sent me 4 texts in a row saying how are you, sorry something came up, I wish I could be with you now. Haven't responded yet. Truthfully I'm really interested in him but him cancelling last night was not cool. Just wondering what my next move should be. Would really appreciate any advice. Thanks!
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Replies

  • jenovatrix
    jenovatrix Posts: 219 Member
    mangamadayan wrote: »
    His other date was bad last night and now he wants to re-engage you.

    yk6ca72r6s94.gif
  • RavenLibra
    RavenLibra Posts: 1,737 Member
    yup yup... move on
  • jordyngiulio
    jordyngiulio Posts: 157 Member
    It honestly sounds like he's looking for a FWB setup, so just keep your eyes open on that. But it that arrangement works for you - do your thing.

    He's 100% using you as a backup though. I once had a guy tell me "I have other plans tonight, but if they fall through, you could come over and watch Netflix if you wanted." Err, hard pass.
  • amfmmama
    amfmmama Posts: 1,420 Member
    sounds sketchy.... too soon for sketch
  • myfavoriteyear
    myfavoriteyear Posts: 31 Member
    Thanks all for the input. I'll write back to him and say I'm doing great and act like I haven't given it a 2nd thought. Put the ball back in his court. I have no expectations here.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
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  • Justpeachy02
    Justpeachy02 Posts: 11,817 Member
    Maybe something really did come up... You said you had a great first date. Maybe one more chance any more red flags then walk away.
  • michelleborda1
    michelleborda1 Posts: 8 Member
    A few problems: 1) Wanted to come over? How about taking you out? 2) no reason for the cancellation. It's tough, but I would say "no thanks."
  • dianeh47
    dianeh47 Posts: 16 Member
    Keep your guard up. Sounds like he booked a date with you and then someone else called. Easier to cancel with you and go with the other person he may have know longer. I say move on. If you aren't worthy of his trust, he's not worthy of your time.
  • glassyo
    glassyo Posts: 7,743 Member
    myfavoriteyear wrote: »
    Thanks all for the input. I'll write back to him and say I'm doing great and act like I haven't given it a 2nd thought. Put the ball back in his court. I have no expectations here.

    I'm not sure that was the point of all this advice.

    Are you looking for something casual because you said it was a great first date and you liked him but it sounds like he's just looking for a booty call.
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,338 Member
    Between us, I would suggest not going to his place, or bringing ANY PROSPECTIVE BF to your place, until at least the 4th or 5th date. That will weed out the guys that are just looking for a quick hookup...you don't have to write him off after only one cancellation, but keep your guard up. Most guys that are "into" you would do anything NOT to cancel a date, and would make the effort to explain themselves so you aren't sitting there wondering.
  • 2011rocket3touring
    2011rocket3touring Posts: 1,346 Member
    Honestly he sounds married. I can understand not wanting to be completely candid about "something came up", especially if you just met but 4 texts in a row is a serious red flag.
    Look him up on social media, a bit stalker-ish but your just being careful.
  • myfavoriteyear
    myfavoriteyear Posts: 31 Member
    Yeah, I mean we did just meet and the plans were made same day. It was annoying when he cancelled though and not something I'd put up with on regular basis. I'll just leaving the ball in his court and making him do all the work for now...will see how it all pans out. He knows he won't hear from me if he doesn't text me first.
    aub6689 wrote: »
    I'm sorry, but I don't understand the big deal. He cancelled last minute one time. If there was a pattern then sure be suspicious or questioning, but once doesn't seem like enough to write him off. It sounds like your plans were made day of and it was a Monday night, so things easily do come up.
    I don't know that you know the guy well enough to not be understanding. What if something came up on your end? He also is texting you the next day. I think it is normal to keep your guard up and see if it becomes a repeat, but things happen. You can easily make plans to see someone because you are really into them and want to see them, but neglect that you had other plans or responsibilities.

  • MalcolmX1983
    MalcolmX1983 Posts: 214 Member
    edited May 2016
    Move on.
    Take it from a guy.
    He wanted the other girl, but it didn't work out.
    He still got the itch to scratch, so that's where you come in.

    You've dodged a bullet.


    OR

    He had a genuine reason for the cancellation.

    myfavoriteyear wrote: »
    I met a guy over the weekend and we had a great date on Saturday night. He texted me on Sunday to wish me Happy Mother's Day. Then yesterday morning he texted me saying he wanted me to come over last night. I said ok. But just before I was about to leave he texted me and said "I can't do it tonight." didn't give a reason. I texted back and said "No problem."

    But about 15 minutes ago he sent me 4 texts in a row saying how are you, sorry something came up, I wish I could be with you now. Haven't responded yet. Truthfully I'm really interested in him but him cancelling last night was not cool. Just wondering what my next move should be. Would really appreciate any advice. Thanks!

  • aub6689
    aub6689 Posts: 351 Member
    @myfavoriteyear Yep, I'd do exactly that. He has to make it clear he wants to see you and if it becomes a repeat, then bolt.
  • trish2016
    trish2016 Posts: 156 Member
    edited May 2016
    Play him at his own game don't be overly interested and if he does suggest another date make him wait for a week or so you don't want to seem needy.
    I wouldn't look too much into cancelling so what big deal blokes do that all the time it was only the second date and then he was texting asking how you were so obviously is concerned he messed up.
    If he keeps doing it then something is up like he has another girlfriend / wife or date...check him out on social media see what his profiles are like you will get a good or bad vibe about him and will know where you stand.
  • StephanieJane2
    StephanieJane2 Posts: 191 Member
    Say you'll meet him for coffee or drink, not in your home that way you'll see if he just wants sex
  • kristen6350
    kristen6350 Posts: 1,094 Member
    My rule 1 of dating - First 3 Dates must be "OUT", meaning I either meet you at a place or you come pick me up and we go somewhere. NO House dates until date 4. That way you weed out men who just want some.

    You were either sloppy seconds or he almost got caught (either girlfriend or wife was home). You are better than that. RUN!
  • Gainz147
    Gainz147 Posts: 1,318 Member
    _MistahJ_ wrote: »
    Met him on Saturday, ready to bang him on Monday, starts thread the next day asking random people advice. I'm thinking the guy was lucky something came up and he should run.

    Legend hahahahahahahah
  • finny11122
    finny11122 Posts: 8,436 Member
    myfavoriteyear wrote: »
    I met a guy over the weekend and we had a great date on Saturday night. He texted me on Sunday to wish me Happy Mother's Day. Then yesterday morning he texted me saying he wanted me to come over last night. I said ok. But just before I was about to leave he texted me and said "I can't do it tonight." didn't give a reason. I texted back and said "No problem."

    But about 15 minutes ago he sent me 4 texts in a row saying how are you, sorry something came up, I wish I could be with you now. Haven't responded yet. Truthfully I'm really interested in him but him cancelling last night was not cool. Just wondering what my next move should be. Would really appreciate any advice. Thanks!
    Ye two just met . He probably had something come up. His follow up texts indicate that he likes you . One date at a time. The more ye get to know each other the more time ye will make for each other. Hang out and have a laugh and you will find out what he is really like after 2 or 3 weeks.
  • synchkat
    synchkat Posts: 37,368 Member
    finny11122 wrote: »
    myfavoriteyear wrote: »
    I met a guy over the weekend and we had a great date on Saturday night. He texted me on Sunday to wish me Happy Mother's Day. Then yesterday morning he texted me saying he wanted me to come over last night. I said ok. But just before I was about to leave he texted me and said "I can't do it tonight." didn't give a reason. I texted back and said "No problem."

    But about 15 minutes ago he sent me 4 texts in a row saying how are you, sorry something came up, I wish I could be with you now. Haven't responded yet. Truthfully I'm really interested in him but him cancelling last night was not cool. Just wondering what my next move should be. Would really appreciate any advice. Thanks!
    Ye two just met . He probably had something come up. His follow up texts indicate that he likes you . One date at a time. The more ye get to know each other the more time ye will make for each other. Hang out and have a laugh and you will find out what he is really like after 2 or 3 weeks.

    All hail Finny the voice of reason with whom I happen to totally agree. stuff comes up. at least he cancelled and didn't leave you hanging and waiting
  • finny11122
    finny11122 Posts: 8,436 Member
    synchkat wrote: »
    finny11122 wrote: »
    myfavoriteyear wrote: »
    I met a guy over the weekend and we had a great date on Saturday night. He texted me on Sunday to wish me Happy Mother's Day. Then yesterday morning he texted me saying he wanted me to come over last night. I said ok. But just before I was about to leave he texted me and said "I can't do it tonight." didn't give a reason. I texted back and said "No problem."

    But about 15 minutes ago he sent me 4 texts in a row saying how are you, sorry something came up, I wish I could be with you now. Haven't responded yet. Truthfully I'm really interested in him but him cancelling last night was not cool. Just wondering what my next move should be. Would really appreciate any advice. Thanks!
    Ye two just met . He probably had something come up. His follow up texts indicate that he likes you . One date at a time. The more ye get to know each other the more time ye will make for each other. Hang out and have a laugh and you will find out what he is really like after 2 or 3 weeks.

    All hail Finny the voice of reason with whom I happen to totally agree. stuff comes up. at least he cancelled and didn't leave you hanging and waiting

    Any well adjusted single guy is going to be working and have things going on . He ain't going to be lazing about. The fact he got in touch with her and wanted to see her again is a good sign. She needs to chill , go on a few dates and see what he is really like .
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