After he cancelled our 2nd date....

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  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    This thread is blowing my mind. Makes it sound like dating is 90% anxious, slightly paranoid speculation.
  • So was it a mistake to tell him "I'll let you know" if I can see him tonight? I really would like to. What should I do now?

    Tell him you can see him. Then, at the last minute, text him and cancel.
  • Maybe something really did come up... You said you had a great first date. Maybe one more chance any more red flags then walk away.

    I am sure something did come up. He realized at the last minute he was running low on chloroform and could not find his duct tape. A quick trip to Tractor Supply company for those items, and a bag of lime, and he will be back in business tonight.
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  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
    jajomo0118 wrote: »
    I'm exhausted just reading this thread. If anything ever happen to the hubby, it would be just me and my BOB until I die.

    Good luck young ones, good freaking luck.

    thank u, im probably going to be foreveralone as the kids say
  • Hauntinglyfit
    Hauntinglyfit Posts: 5,537 Member
    This whole mental lambada sounds exhausting.
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    DYELB wrote: »
    key his car

    drown his hamster.
  • Hauntinglyfit
    Hauntinglyfit Posts: 5,537 Member
    DYELB wrote: »
    key his car

    drown his hamster.

    Boil his bunny.
  • enterdanger
    enterdanger Posts: 2,447 Member
    It's just a date. If you liked him, give him the benefit of the doubt. If a pattern starts to emerge then you'll notice a problem. I doubt he is married if he asked you to come over. He would have asked to come to your house.

    I would ask what came up last minute.
  • wilsoncl6
    wilsoncl6 Posts: 1,280 Member
    melmelw03 wrote: »
    wilsoncl6 wrote: »
    melmelw03 wrote: »
    wilsoncl6 wrote: »
    melmelw03 wrote: »
    Clearly it's time to get all stalkerish and find him on every social media outlet you can and message him asking "Why....why...WHY?!" Ask ALL the questions!

    Just kidding. You met him on Saturday and already had plans 2 days later? Don't be so damn available. It's cool to be interested in someone, but don't drop everything because he wants to come over. TAKE YOUR TIME. No need to rush things if it's going to be good. Unless you just want the casual hookup, then go do your thing.

    Going on a second date 2 days later is being too available? If I asked a woman that I liked out on a date 2 days later and she had told me no without having a good reason, I'd be on the phone calling someone else. Nothing wrong with a woman, or a guy, going out again soon after meeting. There aren't any rules to the game.

    To be fair, he didn't ask her on a date. He wanted to come over. That indicates something entirely different. And I don't recall anyone saying "no" without a good reason, although there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I've told a guy no to a date/meet up because it was the night of the OKC Thunder season opener and I wanted to just watch it on tv. He got mad. He obviously wasn't the guy for me, so no big loss.

    No rules to the game......I guess dating can be a game. For some.

    Well, you did imply that seeing a guy 2 days after the first date was being too available. That tells me that you believe that the answer should typically be no, good excuse or not, if asked to meet. Additionally, there are no rules to what is classified as a date and what isn't. Is someone going over to another person's house to spend time with them not a date now? I thought a date was anything you did with someone else that opened the door to possible romance? In my book, that would also include hanging out at someones place. You're taking my words too literally. People date for different reasons, and to some it is a game. Some people date to find the significant other, while some date just to have fun meeting new people. I don't judge and I'm also not going to suggest that there are some kind of arbitrary rules as to how people are supposed to interact in the dating scene.

    So....are you and I gonna Netflix and chill or nah?

    I only netflix and chill on the weekends but I can't this weekend because my girl...I mean...I'll have other plans. ;)
  • Riffraft1960
    Riffraft1960 Posts: 1,984 Member
    And this thread confirms why I dread getting back into dating.
  • ClubSilencio
    ClubSilencio Posts: 2,983 Member
    And this thread confirms why I dread getting back into dating.

    This guy I work with is the same age as you. He's recently divorced and tells us about his dating escapades from POF. Says he's dating women much younger than him and having the time of his life. He owns a boat and has a two-story house all to himself now lol. Just between me and you, you look way more handsome than him. I think you'll be alright.




  • brewingPHX
    brewingPHX Posts: 284 Member
    He just wants some kitten.
  • _Waffle_
    _Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
    brewingPHX wrote: »
    He just wants some kitten.

    Why so much shame on CIS heterosexual males?
  • _incogNEATo_
    _incogNEATo_ Posts: 4,537 Member
    I'm laffing at everybody saying "you deserve better."

    How do you know she's not a "C U Next Tuesday"?????
  • glassyo
    glassyo Posts: 7,739 Member
    wilsoncl6 wrote: »
    melmelw03 wrote: »
    wilsoncl6 wrote: »
    melmelw03 wrote: »
    wilsoncl6 wrote: »
    melmelw03 wrote: »
    Clearly it's time to get all stalkerish and find him on every social media outlet you can and message him asking "Why....why...WHY?!" Ask ALL the questions!

    Just kidding. You met him on Saturday and already had plans 2 days later? Don't be so damn available. It's cool to be interested in someone, but don't drop everything because he wants to come over. TAKE YOUR TIME. No need to rush things if it's going to be good. Unless you just want the casual hookup, then go do your thing.

    Going on a second date 2 days later is being too available? If I asked a woman that I liked out on a date 2 days later and she had told me no without having a good reason, I'd be on the phone calling someone else. Nothing wrong with a woman, or a guy, going out again soon after meeting. There aren't any rules to the game.

    To be fair, he didn't ask her on a date. He wanted to come over. That indicates something entirely different. And I don't recall anyone saying "no" without a good reason, although there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I've told a guy no to a date/meet up because it was the night of the OKC Thunder season opener and I wanted to just watch it on tv. He got mad. He obviously wasn't the guy for me, so no big loss.

    No rules to the game......I guess dating can be a game. For some.

    Well, you did imply that seeing a guy 2 days after the first date was being too available. That tells me that you believe that the answer should typically be no, good excuse or not, if asked to meet. Additionally, there are no rules to what is classified as a date and what isn't. Is someone going over to another person's house to spend time with them not a date now? I thought a date was anything you did with someone else that opened the door to possible romance? In my book, that would also include hanging out at someones place. You're taking my words too literally. People date for different reasons, and to some it is a game. Some people date to find the significant other, while some date just to have fun meeting new people. I don't judge and I'm also not going to suggest that there are some kind of arbitrary rules as to how people are supposed to interact in the dating scene.

    So....are you and I gonna Netflix and chill or nah?

    I only netflix and chill on the weekends but I can't this weekend because my girl...I mean...I'll have other plans. ;)

    I have a question. I learned on another message board that chill now means sex. When did this happen and why? And do you chill before the netflix? After? During? What if the netflix is reeeeeeeeeeeeally good? Way better than the chill could ever be? What then? Are you still obligated to chill?

  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    jofjltncb6 wrote: »
    My rule 1 of dating - First 3 Dates must be "OUT", meaning I either meet you at a place or you come pick me up and we go somewhere. NO House dates until date 4. That way you weed out men who just want some.

    You were either sloppy seconds or he almost got caught (either girlfriend or wife was home). You are better than that. RUN!

    You don't think men are willing to go on four dates to get some?

    LOLsigh

    When I was dating there was the '3 date rule'...
  • AmandaHugginkiss
    AmandaHugginkiss Posts: 486 Member
    People need to stop being so neurotic about dating. Expecting monogamy after a single date; texting and guessing what the other person means instead of just talking to each other; constantly question everyone else's motives about everything; still shaming second date hook-ups; having all these arbitrary rules about every single interaction. I just don't get it. *Kitten* is easier than y'all are making it out to be.
  • glassyo
    glassyo Posts: 7,739 Member
    I say do what makes you happy as long as everyone is honest and on the same page.

    (And it's not illegal.)
  • brewingPHX
    brewingPHX Posts: 284 Member
    _Waffle_ wrote: »
    brewingPHX wrote: »
    He just wants some kitten.

    Why so much shame on CIS heterosexual males?

    You don't know how he identifies!
  • librarydebster
    librarydebster Posts: 177 Member
    Call me old fashioned but if you had a good date and then he texts you to make a date and then texts to break a date, it doesn't sound good. If a guy is really interested he should pick up the phone. Yep. The phone. If he's interested he will want to hear your voice and make sure you're still interested and keep a connection. Texts are too impersonal and easy.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    edited May 2016
    Call me old fashioned but if you had a good date and then he texts you to make a date and then texts to break a date, it doesn't sound good. If a guy is really interested he should pick up the phone. Yep. The phone. If he's interested he will want to hear your voice and make sure you're still interested and keep a connection. Texts are too impersonal and easy.

    I would find a phone call weird... my husband only rings if somethings wrong... I don't think I remember him ever ringing me when we were dating...
  • petunia773
    petunia773 Posts: 473 Member
    Go on the date with him tonight!! Geez!
  • synchkat
    synchkat Posts: 37,368 Member
    I'm laffing at everybody saying "you deserve better."

    How do you know she's not a "C U Next Tuesday"?????

    What's happening on Tuesday??? Man I'm old
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  • synchkat
    synchkat Posts: 37,368 Member
    _MistahJ_ wrote: »
    synchkat wrote: »
    I'm laffing at everybody saying "you deserve better."

    How do you know she's not a "C U Next Tuesday"?????

    What's happening on Tuesday??? Man I'm old

    He's eating tacos, of course.

    Duh what was I thinking
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