After he cancelled our 2nd date....
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This whole mental lambada sounds exhausting.0
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EvgeniZyntx wrote: »
Boil his bunny.4 -
It's just a date. If you liked him, give him the benefit of the doubt. If a pattern starts to emerge then you'll notice a problem. I doubt he is married if he asked you to come over. He would have asked to come to your house.
I would ask what came up last minute.1 -
Clearly it's time to get all stalkerish and find him on every social media outlet you can and message him asking "Why....why...WHY?!" Ask ALL the questions!
Just kidding. You met him on Saturday and already had plans 2 days later? Don't be so damn available. It's cool to be interested in someone, but don't drop everything because he wants to come over. TAKE YOUR TIME. No need to rush things if it's going to be good. Unless you just want the casual hookup, then go do your thing.
Going on a second date 2 days later is being too available? If I asked a woman that I liked out on a date 2 days later and she had told me no without having a good reason, I'd be on the phone calling someone else. Nothing wrong with a woman, or a guy, going out again soon after meeting. There aren't any rules to the game.
To be fair, he didn't ask her on a date. He wanted to come over. That indicates something entirely different. And I don't recall anyone saying "no" without a good reason, although there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I've told a guy no to a date/meet up because it was the night of the OKC Thunder season opener and I wanted to just watch it on tv. He got mad. He obviously wasn't the guy for me, so no big loss.
No rules to the game......I guess dating can be a game. For some.
Well, you did imply that seeing a guy 2 days after the first date was being too available. That tells me that you believe that the answer should typically be no, good excuse or not, if asked to meet. Additionally, there are no rules to what is classified as a date and what isn't. Is someone going over to another person's house to spend time with them not a date now? I thought a date was anything you did with someone else that opened the door to possible romance? In my book, that would also include hanging out at someones place. You're taking my words too literally. People date for different reasons, and to some it is a game. Some people date to find the significant other, while some date just to have fun meeting new people. I don't judge and I'm also not going to suggest that there are some kind of arbitrary rules as to how people are supposed to interact in the dating scene.
So....are you and I gonna Netflix and chill or nah?
I only netflix and chill on the weekends but I can't this weekend because my girl...I mean...I'll have other plans.
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And this thread confirms why I dread getting back into dating.1
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Riffraft1960 wrote: »And this thread confirms why I dread getting back into dating.
This guy I work with is the same age as you. He's recently divorced and tells us about his dating escapades from POF. Says he's dating women much younger than him and having the time of his life. He owns a boat and has a two-story house all to himself now lol. Just between me and you, you look way more handsome than him. I think you'll be alright.
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He just wants some kitten.2
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brewingPHX wrote: »He just wants some kitten.
Why so much shame on CIS heterosexual males?2 -
I'm laffing at everybody saying "you deserve better."
How do you know she's not a "C U Next Tuesday"?????2 -
Clearly it's time to get all stalkerish and find him on every social media outlet you can and message him asking "Why....why...WHY?!" Ask ALL the questions!
Just kidding. You met him on Saturday and already had plans 2 days later? Don't be so damn available. It's cool to be interested in someone, but don't drop everything because he wants to come over. TAKE YOUR TIME. No need to rush things if it's going to be good. Unless you just want the casual hookup, then go do your thing.
Going on a second date 2 days later is being too available? If I asked a woman that I liked out on a date 2 days later and she had told me no without having a good reason, I'd be on the phone calling someone else. Nothing wrong with a woman, or a guy, going out again soon after meeting. There aren't any rules to the game.
To be fair, he didn't ask her on a date. He wanted to come over. That indicates something entirely different. And I don't recall anyone saying "no" without a good reason, although there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I've told a guy no to a date/meet up because it was the night of the OKC Thunder season opener and I wanted to just watch it on tv. He got mad. He obviously wasn't the guy for me, so no big loss.
No rules to the game......I guess dating can be a game. For some.
Well, you did imply that seeing a guy 2 days after the first date was being too available. That tells me that you believe that the answer should typically be no, good excuse or not, if asked to meet. Additionally, there are no rules to what is classified as a date and what isn't. Is someone going over to another person's house to spend time with them not a date now? I thought a date was anything you did with someone else that opened the door to possible romance? In my book, that would also include hanging out at someones place. You're taking my words too literally. People date for different reasons, and to some it is a game. Some people date to find the significant other, while some date just to have fun meeting new people. I don't judge and I'm also not going to suggest that there are some kind of arbitrary rules as to how people are supposed to interact in the dating scene.
So....are you and I gonna Netflix and chill or nah?
I only netflix and chill on the weekends but I can't this weekend because my girl...I mean...I'll have other plans.
I have a question. I learned on another message board that chill now means sex. When did this happen and why? And do you chill before the netflix? After? During? What if the netflix is reeeeeeeeeeeeally good? Way better than the chill could ever be? What then? Are you still obligated to chill?
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jofjltncb6 wrote: »kristen6350 wrote: »My rule 1 of dating - First 3 Dates must be "OUT", meaning I either meet you at a place or you come pick me up and we go somewhere. NO House dates until date 4. That way you weed out men who just want some.
You were either sloppy seconds or he almost got caught (either girlfriend or wife was home). You are better than that. RUN!
You don't think men are willing to go on four dates to get some?
LOLsigh
When I was dating there was the '3 date rule'...1 -
People need to stop being so neurotic about dating. Expecting monogamy after a single date; texting and guessing what the other person means instead of just talking to each other; constantly question everyone else's motives about everything; still shaming second date hook-ups; having all these arbitrary rules about every single interaction. I just don't get it. *Kitten* is easier than y'all are making it out to be.2
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I say do what makes you happy as long as everyone is honest and on the same page.
(And it's not illegal.)1 -
brewingPHX wrote: »He just wants some kitten.
Why so much shame on CIS heterosexual males?
You don't know how he identifies!1 -
Call me old fashioned but if you had a good date and then he texts you to make a date and then texts to break a date, it doesn't sound good. If a guy is really interested he should pick up the phone. Yep. The phone. If he's interested he will want to hear your voice and make sure you're still interested and keep a connection. Texts are too impersonal and easy.1
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librarydebster wrote: »Call me old fashioned but if you had a good date and then he texts you to make a date and then texts to break a date, it doesn't sound good. If a guy is really interested he should pick up the phone. Yep. The phone. If he's interested he will want to hear your voice and make sure you're still interested and keep a connection. Texts are too impersonal and easy.
I would find a phone call weird... my husband only rings if somethings wrong... I don't think I remember him ever ringing me when we were dating...0 -
Man, ya'll are crazy.
So there's a date, guy touches back the next day exclaiming he had a good time and would like to continue seeing her. Then unfortunately something came up, his mom could of died, wife could of came home from vacation, kids could of gotten sick, friend could of gotten arrested, aliens attacked and he was getting anal probed but ALL of you (well not all but most) are like "*kitten* him he's worthless".
<edit> OH and to those saying he's playing the field. For *kitten* sakes they had one date. ONE! When did it become after one date you're in a relationship? I don't agree with cheating or any of those games but seriously one date = marriage status?
</endedit>
Dayumn, some bitter people here. Look don't play games if you like the guy and had a good time get to know him. If you want to hook up with him then do so. It's one date not like you're engaged/married.
If it's such a big deal just explain to the guy that you were really excited to meet up and when he cancelled it bothered you so much that you went on a forum and listened to a bunch of a crazy people who think you should key his car, boil his bunny, etc and now you're scared he may be an ax-murderer and/or a cheater.
Then don't say anything as this guy goes "holy *kitten* this chick is crazy" and then he'll make up whatever excuse he can to back out of the whole deal.
You'll call him an *kitten* he'll call you crazy and we'll all move on to the next one.7 -
Go on the date with him tonight!! Geez!0
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_incogNEATo_ wrote: »I'm laffing at everybody saying "you deserve better."
How do you know she's not a "C U Next Tuesday"?????
What's happening on Tuesday??? Man I'm old1 -
Trust your gut. If it feels wrong, walk now. If its just curious behavior but you like him, give it one more chance.1
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Hauntinglyfit wrote: »This whole mental lambada sounds exhausting.
Yeah glad I am not single this is mind blowing.
I don't think it is a big deal. It's only one date.
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1) No dates at home (not until at least the 5th date)
2) Time to read "He's Not That Into You."
3) There are awesome guys out there. Not give this one another thought.1 -
Thanks so much for all the advice, I really appreciate it1
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maybe he text the wrong girl when he made the date, and quickly cancelled when he realized his mistake4
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Kittenisspooky wrote: »Tell him you made plans with someone else but if something opens up next week maybe you will get back to him.
If he is interested in you he will not cancel again and it also tells him you have options and im sure you do. It gives you time to think as well
and make sure you bang at least 5 other guys before you go on another date with him
i would anyway1 -
Any time you have doubts or red flags this early on, it is usually for good reason.2
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Update - those of you who said not to play games i agree with you. But i didn't text him back last night. I really just didn't feel like going out anyway and i didn't want to text him if i wasn't feeling it.
I was also scared to take the plunge and text him first. I had a pretty hard breakup about 3 months ago. But i felt like getting in touch this morning so i texted "good morning sexy..would love to get together." Long story short we're on for tonight. Hopefully he won't do the cancelling thing again without one hell of a good reason.0 -
myfavoriteyear wrote: »But i felt like getting in touch this morning so i texted "good morning sexy..would love to get together." Long story short we're on for tonight. Hopefully he won't do the cancelling thing again without one hell of a good reason.
Make sure your birth control's filled I guess....2
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