Success Story?.. Maybe?..
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DylOmega
Posts: 17 Member
When I first started I was 257 pounds, maybe 5'6-5'7. I was definitely overweight but due to the occasional "You look like a football player", I decided that my bullies were just trying to hurt me and that it meant nothing, even though every day when I got home I stuffed my face with food to fix how they hurt me.
The day I realized what I was doing to myself, I started a massive diet two days days later (I was sick at the time and it was a mini excuse before I decided I should go hard at this). I IMMEDIATELY dropped down to around 800 to 1500 calories every single day. Crazy right? It took some serious MyFitnessPal to do it. On top of that, I was doing high intensity cardio for an hour, sometimes over an hour.
As I started losing around 3 to 7 pounds every single week, I got more into it. Exercising became my life. I loved it, the way it made me feel as I was losing weight and people were finally noticing and complimenting me on it. The rush was so amazing and I could not let it go. I never had one cheat day, cheat meal, or off day. Because there was no excuse why I shouldn't put forth the effort to lose weight that day.
Finally it was time to move, my dad got the chance at an incredible promotion and we just had to take it. We moved.. My strive for fitness and looking good was put to the test and I succeeded. I kept my calories low and continued to do my long and intense cardio. I continued to lose weight, not realizing two things were about to impact my life in big ways..
Things were going great.. I was losing weight and eating healthier than before (5 crackers were a snack for me and I was eating Chinese at school for lunch). Basically, I was anorexic, I had gotten to around 145 and my parents were saying my face was sunken in, this was also the time I started talking to a girl who was just.. So beautiful to me.
The anorexia was bad. I wasn't listening to anyone, I was eating very little and still exercising a lot. I liked being skinny. And it messed me up. The day I saw myself really skinny on a photo is the day I changed my life yet again. I got rid of my anorexia in about 2 months.
Slowly over time though, my eating was changing.. I was starting to slowly eat more and was still doing the same workouts.. I wasn't gaining weight but.. It would lead to a bigger problem..
Around this time I became afraid, I didn't want to lose everything I worked hard for, I researched and found Veganism. As my eating went bad and I was still doing what I could to maintain my weight, I did all the research I could while maintaining A's in school as a Junior, I was a beast last year needless to say.
The day I decided to talk to my parents about Veganism is where it went wrong. I texted them in the morning, asking if we could talk about it when they got home. It all went wrong then, my phone was exploding with text messages of anger from my parents, causing me to fear what was to come. As it turned out, I was rightfully afraid about what was to come. It was awful.
All they did when we all got home was yell and complain. They didn't give me a chance to talk and when I did talk, they pushed what I said to the side. It was very hard on me. Whenever my parents said an incorrect opinion about veganism and I corrected them with fact, they just said I didn't know what I was talking about. They said, "You aren't thinking about the family when you decided something like this, and thats a problem".
This rough day led me to my very first binge. It hurt me so bad, food solved it. Peanut butter jelly sandwiches, chips, ice-cream, chocolate, anything that was bad for me became my baby. That first day, it was all over for me. I continued to binge for two straight weeks without gaining weight, it was literally that next day when I started gaining weight.
It was because I couldn't workout, that is what I told myself atleast. All my binging was making me so sick and uncomfortable that some days I couldn't workout at all. One day the binge was so bad (nobody was home for hours) that it made me throw up food, a lot of it. It made me feel so much better and that shocked me, I also realized that throwing up the food, in a sick way, helped me.
Yes, I became Bulimic. It was easy to do at first, I couldn't see my girlfriend on the week days during school unless I had a real reason, on the weekends I saw her till around 11-12 at night, went home, and threw it all up (I would lowkey binge at her house, that part was hard). Other than that, it was pretty easy to do. I had no trouble with it.
Every once in a while I gained a pound or two but would lose it right back. My new girlfriend didn't know I was Bulimic yet. Finally it came time to go to the beach. I was working out so long there and throwing up so much I got abs from it. It was that bad. I turned 18 at the beach. Bulimia and exercise had gotten me abs in 4 days literally...
When I got back home my problems persisted, the abs eventually went away and it was just back to bulimia and the occasional exercise. The day I told my girlfriend was awful. We were eating Sonic at the time haha.. She bawled her eyes out so bad I said I would stop for her.. I continued to be a binger which Liz continued to help me with.
It got to the point where I was having less and less time to be bulimic. I had a car and was spending more time with my girl, we were getting serious and spent more time together. I looked alright.. Just not as good as I wanted to for the type of thing I was doing.
To keep the story from being too long. I have been a binger up until yesterday. I've been binging for close to or over a year, its hard to keep track with everything I was doing and what had happened to me. My girlfriend and I are still together a year later, we've been dating since April 2nd of last year. Yay.
Through all my problems some how I haven't lost my mind yet. I am still trying to fight the urge to binge, or not eat at all. I have managed to workout every day so far though which is good. Yesterday I took a Rockstar energy drink with my workout. It was great!
I think it is only sort of a success story because I went through so many evils in my story. So many negatives so sometimes I wonder if it was even success or failure. I had one eating problem after the other. It amazes me this all started just from bullying alone.. I sure as heck would shove this all into my bullies faces though.. While I lost my weight in some bad ways, I am proud of who I have become today.
I am happy, in a relationship, and I am recovering. I am far from the 257 pound 5'6-5'7 guy I was in my obesity. The 145 pound 5'7-5'8 guy I was in anorexia. I am 5'8, 174.5 pounds, I have been through so much and I am still here. I am about to graduate high school, literally this week.
In all seriousness I am actually thinking of writing a book. I don't think it would be that interesting though haha. If you guys want before and after pictures let me know!
The day I realized what I was doing to myself, I started a massive diet two days days later (I was sick at the time and it was a mini excuse before I decided I should go hard at this). I IMMEDIATELY dropped down to around 800 to 1500 calories every single day. Crazy right? It took some serious MyFitnessPal to do it. On top of that, I was doing high intensity cardio for an hour, sometimes over an hour.
As I started losing around 3 to 7 pounds every single week, I got more into it. Exercising became my life. I loved it, the way it made me feel as I was losing weight and people were finally noticing and complimenting me on it. The rush was so amazing and I could not let it go. I never had one cheat day, cheat meal, or off day. Because there was no excuse why I shouldn't put forth the effort to lose weight that day.
Finally it was time to move, my dad got the chance at an incredible promotion and we just had to take it. We moved.. My strive for fitness and looking good was put to the test and I succeeded. I kept my calories low and continued to do my long and intense cardio. I continued to lose weight, not realizing two things were about to impact my life in big ways..
Things were going great.. I was losing weight and eating healthier than before (5 crackers were a snack for me and I was eating Chinese at school for lunch). Basically, I was anorexic, I had gotten to around 145 and my parents were saying my face was sunken in, this was also the time I started talking to a girl who was just.. So beautiful to me.
The anorexia was bad. I wasn't listening to anyone, I was eating very little and still exercising a lot. I liked being skinny. And it messed me up. The day I saw myself really skinny on a photo is the day I changed my life yet again. I got rid of my anorexia in about 2 months.
Slowly over time though, my eating was changing.. I was starting to slowly eat more and was still doing the same workouts.. I wasn't gaining weight but.. It would lead to a bigger problem..
Around this time I became afraid, I didn't want to lose everything I worked hard for, I researched and found Veganism. As my eating went bad and I was still doing what I could to maintain my weight, I did all the research I could while maintaining A's in school as a Junior, I was a beast last year needless to say.
The day I decided to talk to my parents about Veganism is where it went wrong. I texted them in the morning, asking if we could talk about it when they got home. It all went wrong then, my phone was exploding with text messages of anger from my parents, causing me to fear what was to come. As it turned out, I was rightfully afraid about what was to come. It was awful.
All they did when we all got home was yell and complain. They didn't give me a chance to talk and when I did talk, they pushed what I said to the side. It was very hard on me. Whenever my parents said an incorrect opinion about veganism and I corrected them with fact, they just said I didn't know what I was talking about. They said, "You aren't thinking about the family when you decided something like this, and thats a problem".
This rough day led me to my very first binge. It hurt me so bad, food solved it. Peanut butter jelly sandwiches, chips, ice-cream, chocolate, anything that was bad for me became my baby. That first day, it was all over for me. I continued to binge for two straight weeks without gaining weight, it was literally that next day when I started gaining weight.
It was because I couldn't workout, that is what I told myself atleast. All my binging was making me so sick and uncomfortable that some days I couldn't workout at all. One day the binge was so bad (nobody was home for hours) that it made me throw up food, a lot of it. It made me feel so much better and that shocked me, I also realized that throwing up the food, in a sick way, helped me.
Yes, I became Bulimic. It was easy to do at first, I couldn't see my girlfriend on the week days during school unless I had a real reason, on the weekends I saw her till around 11-12 at night, went home, and threw it all up (I would lowkey binge at her house, that part was hard). Other than that, it was pretty easy to do. I had no trouble with it.
Every once in a while I gained a pound or two but would lose it right back. My new girlfriend didn't know I was Bulimic yet. Finally it came time to go to the beach. I was working out so long there and throwing up so much I got abs from it. It was that bad. I turned 18 at the beach. Bulimia and exercise had gotten me abs in 4 days literally...
When I got back home my problems persisted, the abs eventually went away and it was just back to bulimia and the occasional exercise. The day I told my girlfriend was awful. We were eating Sonic at the time haha.. She bawled her eyes out so bad I said I would stop for her.. I continued to be a binger which Liz continued to help me with.
It got to the point where I was having less and less time to be bulimic. I had a car and was spending more time with my girl, we were getting serious and spent more time together. I looked alright.. Just not as good as I wanted to for the type of thing I was doing.
To keep the story from being too long. I have been a binger up until yesterday. I've been binging for close to or over a year, its hard to keep track with everything I was doing and what had happened to me. My girlfriend and I are still together a year later, we've been dating since April 2nd of last year. Yay.
Through all my problems some how I haven't lost my mind yet. I am still trying to fight the urge to binge, or not eat at all. I have managed to workout every day so far though which is good. Yesterday I took a Rockstar energy drink with my workout. It was great!
I think it is only sort of a success story because I went through so many evils in my story. So many negatives so sometimes I wonder if it was even success or failure. I had one eating problem after the other. It amazes me this all started just from bullying alone.. I sure as heck would shove this all into my bullies faces though.. While I lost my weight in some bad ways, I am proud of who I have become today.
I am happy, in a relationship, and I am recovering. I am far from the 257 pound 5'6-5'7 guy I was in my obesity. The 145 pound 5'7-5'8 guy I was in anorexia. I am 5'8, 174.5 pounds, I have been through so much and I am still here. I am about to graduate high school, literally this week.
In all seriousness I am actually thinking of writing a book. I don't think it would be that interesting though haha. If you guys want before and after pictures let me know!
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Replies
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I think it's great that you are at a healthier weight, and congratulations on graduating high school!
I strongly urge you to get professional help with your eating disorder, or at least join a group or forum with people who can offer support and advice.
It's a fact of life that you will encounter other stressful situations and crises. That happens to everyone. I'm concerned that you might not have a better coping strategy and will resume binging or anorexia. Life can be hard at times, and you might need help to deal with it.
Best of luck on your journey. Take care.3 -
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Lisa_Ookoo wrote: »I think it's great that you are at a healthier weight, and congratulations on graduating high school!
I strongly urge you to get professional help with your eating disorder, or at least join a group or forum with people who can offer support and advice.
It's a fact of life that you will encounter other stressful situations and crises. That happens to everyone. I'm concerned that you might not have a better coping strategy and will resume binging or anorexia. Life can be hard at times, and you might need help to deal with it.
Best of luck on your journey. Take care.
Thank you! I am doing much better than I did before and while I am eating less than I used to, its not causing any problems. I am sort of trying to cut some weight because I look my best at around 155. Professional help wise, I can't do that right now since we are about to move. Binging, Purging, and Anorexia are always looming in my thoughts but I don't let them take over. I will definitely consider professional help though..0 -
With your dreadful experience, would you care to discourse on the importance of males maintaining a 1500 calorie daily intake?0
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JeromeBarry1 wrote: »With your dreadful experience, would you care to discourse on the importance of males maintaining a 1500 calorie daily intake?
Of course, do you mean in an entirely new post or just on this?0 -
You have quite a story and you are just graduating high school. Glad to hear that things are looking up for you and that you are on the road to recovery.0
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Congratulations on your road to recovery, although it sounds like you are still on your way there. Bulimia and anorexia are both very deadly disorders so much that as many as 10% of those diagnosed die from it. I would also advise professional help once you are settled- someone that specializes in eating disorders. It will probably always be looming in the back of your mind though- just like any eating disorder or addiction. With help you can recover and have a normal healthy relationship with food. Wish you all the best for your future.0
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Thank you for sharing your story so honestly. It is so important for us to understand that success stories can look very different for different people. I'm glad things are going better for you but remember it's important to ask for help and support if things become more extreme again. Take good care of yourself.0
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You have quite a story and you are just graduating high school. Glad to hear that things are looking up for you and that you are on the road to recovery.
Thank you, I still am struggling but it's definitely looking better. I am having to take a break from working out today because I had a terrible headache, was dizzy, and was tired...0 -
dramaqueen45 wrote: »Congratulations on your road to recovery, although it sounds like you are still on your way there. Bulimia and anorexia are both very deadly disorders so much that as many as 10% of those diagnosed die from it. I would also advise professional help once you are settled- someone that specializes in eating disorders. It will probably always be looming in the back of your mind though- just like any eating disorder or addiction. With help you can recover and have a normal healthy relationship with food. Wish you all the best for your future.
Yeah, it amazes me I got away as lucky as I did from both Bulimia and Anorexia, it is a constant in the back of my head. It's a constant mental battle for me. We are moving soon so as soon as everything is settled where we are going I am definitely going to try and seek out help.0 -
Thank you for sharing your story so honestly. It is so important for us to understand that success stories can look very different for different people. I'm glad things are going better for you but remember it's important to ask for help and support if things become more extreme again. Take good care of yourself.
I have problems with asking for support, going through both Anorexia and Bulimia has led me to a state of mind where nobody understands.. it sucks. But I will keep fighting a good fight
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As someone who has dealt with anorexia and bulimia, I'd like to dialogue with you a bit here, if that's OK.
It's rare for someone who's suffered from an eating disorder to feel like they're ever truly over it. When life gets stressful, when we get hurt, when we feel out of control, it's very easy to go back to harming our bodies. I think you're doing great to come to terms with your eating disorder, to admit that you struggle, to confide in someone about it, and to make a true effort to overcome it. But you also need more than determination - you need tools. How will you handle it in the future if someone makes fun of your weight? What will you do when you get in a fight with your parents? Bulimia is particularly vicious because binging and purging is something you can do immediately. You need some way to handle being hurt that doesn't involve harming your body, whether it's reciting a positive thought until the first wave of hurt has passed, going for a run, writing in a journal, listening to music, etc. You need to practice self-affirmation and believe that no matter how you have been hurt, you are worthwhile and good as a person. Is this something you've thought about?
I do think it's important to have a community of people you trust and can turn to when you struggle. You need a broader support system than your girlfriend - what if she isn't available one day, or what if she causes the hurt? If you haven't told your parents, you probably should. Let friends know, or find a support group - have people in your life who can help you fight. You've come this far, so set yourself up so you don't relapse. Do you know who these people would be?
Seeking professional help is good for both of these points above - a therapist can teach you tools, and they can be part of your support system. Eating disorders are often coupled with other mental health issues, so if you're struggling with any depression or anxiety, a therapist can help with that as well. You said you'll seek this out when you get settled; please do. Even if you don't go often, having someone to check in with until you're well established in healthy patterns is a good idea.
You're smart and self-aware. You can stay on the path to a healthy life. Congratulations on your first steps. And congratulations on graduating!4 -
JeromeBarry1 wrote: »With your dreadful experience, would you care to discourse on the importance of males maintaining a 1500 calorie daily intake?
Of course, do you mean in an entirely new post or just on this?
It's entirely up to you.
0 -
mskessler89 wrote: »As someone who has dealt with anorexia and bulimia, I'd like to dialogue with you a bit here, if that's OK.
It's rare for someone who's suffered from an eating disorder to feel like they're ever truly over it. When life gets stressful, when we get hurt, when we feel out of control, it's very easy to go back to harming our bodies. I think you're doing great to come to terms with your eating disorder, to admit that you struggle, to confide in someone about it, and to make a true effort to overcome it. But you also need more than determination - you need tools. How will you handle it in the future if someone makes fun of your weight? What will you do when you get in a fight with your parents? Bulimia is particularly vicious because binging and purging is something you can do immediately. You need some way to handle being hurt that doesn't involve harming your body, whether it's reciting a positive thought until the first wave of hurt has passed, going for a run, writing in a journal, listening to music, etc. You need to practice self-affirmation and believe that no matter how you have been hurt, you are worthwhile and good as a person. Is this something you've thought about?
I do think it's important to have a community of people you trust and can turn to when you struggle. You need a broader support system than your girlfriend - what if she isn't available one day, or what if she causes the hurt? If you haven't told your parents, you probably should. Let friends know, or find a support group - have people in your life who can help you fight. You've come this far, so set yourself up so you don't relapse. Do you know who these people would be?
Seeking professional help is good for both of these points above - a therapist can teach you tools, and they can be part of your support system. Eating disorders are often coupled with other mental health issues, so if you're struggling with any depression or anxiety, a therapist can help with that as well. You said you'll seek this out when you get settled; please do. Even if you don't go often, having someone to check in with until you're well established in healthy patterns is a good idea.
You're smart and self-aware. You can stay on the path to a healthy life. Congratulations on your first steps. And congratulations on graduating!
Thank you for all that, Jesus, haha. My parents do know, but they think I did it on purpose to rebel against them, the bulimia part. They also knew I was anorexic. Whenever I do try to get help from someone other than my girlfriend, it's obvious they just don't understand. My girlfriend is the source of my pain sometimes, she has led me to binging but at the same time she's made me want to be healthy for us. I do doubt I will ever truly be over it. Its been with me for way too long. When people call me fat these days, I know it's not that serious, and even if they are serious I don't care anymore. I have a good amount of muscle (I could have more if I didn't keep messing up) that keeps me knowing what point I am at. I agree that it is important to have a community of people to trust and turn to... I just can't find those people right now in my life without money, which I have none of. My parents cannot spend money on a therapist and I do not blame them. At this point in my life, I specifically need those who have dealt with both Anorexia and Bulimia. That may just be the eating disorder in me being difficult. I honestly got to the point where it's just there and I can't tell the difference. Thanks for congratulating me on graduating! I graduate ooon.. May 27th I believe but its a sure thing. Set in stone, haha.0 -
JeromeBarry1 wrote: »JeromeBarry1 wrote: »With your dreadful experience, would you care to discourse on the importance of males maintaining a 1500 calorie daily intake?
Of course, do you mean in an entirely new post or just on this?
It's entirely up to you.
I'll give it a shot soon 0 -
JeromeBarry1 wrote: »With your dreadful experience, would you care to discourse on the importance of males maintaining a 1500 calorie daily intake?
@jerome ... You sound very condensending ... I don't think OP was advocating going under 1500 calories nor its his responsibility to advocate the opposite, he is very young and has been thru a lot and has shared his experience and in on the road to recovery and that is quite a big deal
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JeromeBarry1 wrote: »With your dreadful experience, would you care to discourse on the importance of males maintaining a 1500 calorie daily intake?
@jerome ... You sound very condensending ... I don't think OP was advocating going under 1500 calories nor its his responsibility to advocate the opposite, he is very young and has been thru a lot and has shared his experience and in on the road to recovery and that is quite a big deal
Its okay, honestly. I can try to find the time to do what he's asking me to do, but it will definitely take a bit. Yesterday... Just wasn't a good day on my recovery haha.. But I'm not going to give up so easily. I had been holding off on this post till I felt I was really ready to beat my eating disorders so I wouldn't feel like a hypocrite for posting my story, having people feel some way for me while I was lowkey still doing these bad things. Yesterday did hit me pretty hard but, I'm too scared to even consider repeating yesterday. It gives me pretty bad stomach problems every time so.. Yeah.. I am going to try to do the 1500 calorie post. It will take time like I said but not just because I need to find the time, but because the number 1500.. Means A LOT to me and its obvious why..0 -
I just wanted to reach out and give you a hug2
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thorsmom01 wrote: »I just wanted to reach out and give you a hug
And I happily accept the hug. Thank you. 0 -
OP--if you don't have money for therapy, at least join some of the groups for eating disorders o MFP. You sound very precarious to me, anything could start a downward spiral. Eating disorders are not a "do-it-yourself" deal. To get out and stay out, you need a good professional, that you trust. Good luck.0
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