social life and dining out

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jenb8529
jenb8529 Posts: 15 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
The tips on here for surviving going out to eat without blowing your diet have been helpful, but it still seems very stressful. I've looked at online nutritional menus, and shocked to find some (what I thought) seemingly healthy meals like salmon clock in at a whopping calorie count of 800! I'm doing my best to prep calories and exercise ahead of time, i'm just struggling with keeping within my deficit. With summer coming up one of my favorite things to do with friends is to go out to eat..one cheat meal here and there seems okay but what about multiple outings in one weekend? Sorry for the rant...anyone else struggle with having a social life and trying to lose weight/be more healthy?
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  • lauraemily84
    lauraemily84 Posts: 140 Member
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    I have a friends hen do next Saturday and worried about the calories in drinks I will just go with the flow but I really don't wanna ruin my weight loss for this week!
  • terbusha
    terbusha Posts: 1,483 Member
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    It all depends on your goals. If you're really working hard to make progress, then you'll have to limit the amount of eating out you do. If you're not worried about making optimal progress, then going out on the weekends, and eating in moderation when you do, won't completely stop your progress. Nail your nutrition during the week, work hard in your workouts, and then save ~700-1000 calories for eating out on the weekends. I bet you'll still make progress.

    If you find that you're not making the progress you'd like, then you'll have to modify what you're doing for nutrition.
  • ilex70
    ilex70 Posts: 727 Member
    edited May 2016
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    It is a challenge for certain.

    You can try banking calories (IOW working from a weekly calorie target instead of daily).

    You can make the best possible choices from what's on offer.

    And you can choose if it is more important to you to go out a lot, or to lose weight. Pretty darn hard to keep a deficit while eating a lot of meals at restaurants.

    My DH had is BFF and BFF's GF here in January for a weekend. I went out with them twice (a bar, and pizza), but couldn't see eating out every meal for 3 and a half days, which is what they were doing...and mostly really high calorie places.
  • perkymommy
    perkymommy Posts: 1,642 Member
    edited May 2016
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    jenb8529 wrote: »
    The tips on here for surviving going out to eat without blowing your diet have been helpful, but it still seems very stressful. I've looked at online nutritional menus, and shocked to find some (what I thought) seemingly healthy meals like salmon clock in at a whopping calorie count of 800! I'm doing my best to prep calories and exercise ahead of time, i'm just struggling with keeping within my deficit. With summer coming up one of my favorite things to do with friends is to go out to eat..one cheat meal here and there seems okay but what about multiple outings in one weekend? Sorry for the rant...anyone else struggle with having a social life and trying to lose weight/be more healthy?

    These are some things I do when eating out:

    Look up the menu before going out and make a choice beforehand.
    When you get there choose from their "light" menu if there is one.
    Choose a side salad and chicken or meat dish that is lightest on the menu.
    Eat only side dishes (sweet potato, rice, soup, etc)

    I never eat off the salad menu because usually restaurants have huge salads and stuff in them can be very high calories so I only eat side salads when I go out since they are smaller and have only a couple of things in them usually.

    But, if you really want to change your lifestyle and get to where you want to be then you part of changing your eating lifestyle is changing what got you to where you no longer want to be. Eating out can pack on calories if done too often. If it's once or twice a week then it shouldn't hinder your losses but too often and it can mess you up. I know from experience.

    We all have to do what we want in life that makes us happy though. For me, being at my optimal weight will make me happier than a couple hours out with friends making bad food and drink choices. But that's just my personal choice.
  • its_laura_btw
    its_laura_btw Posts: 48 Member
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    Just go out if you want! I know it's hard but if you want to enjoy that outing, it's like there's not much of a choice.
    Personally my friends can go suck it if they want me to eat out right now haha.
  • Kait_Dee
    Kait_Dee Posts: 175 Member
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    You guys are smart..! Love the suggestions.

    I stick to my caloric goals and live life within them.. I practice IIFIYM so I seldom feel any type of deprivation from food or alcohol.

    When I dine out, I plan and just keep it on the lighter side or meal share with others. It takes a bit of planning sometimes, but it's worth it to me.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,372 Member
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    OP I've been on MFP for 3 years and it still stresses me out when I have to go out to eat, even less when I can't pick the restaurant... My last vacations really sucked on that aspect.. the only way for me to really enjoy it was to let go of my diet habits and I ended up gaining 2 pounds. It's always frustrating.

    My only advice is to make room for it. Eat light during the day and on days when you're not going out, so it evens out for the week. Pick grilled food with sauce on the side (but I also hate being that picky customer who's asking for things that are not on the menu).

    Or you could offer to host more often and make dinner for them.
  • ogtmama
    ogtmama Posts: 1,403 Member
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    Some places offer lunch portions, you can skip the sauces (or ask for them on the side) and eat super light all day to make room for a larger dinner or only eat half and take the rest home. I would find a way to spend time with my friends...giving up on life's good times to lose weight will not help you stay motivated in the long run
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    Separate being social from eating. I'm not saying not go out to eat. I'm saying realize that being at a restaurant and spending time with friends doesn't require you to ingest food while doing those things. Engage in conversation, enjoy the company of others, don't make it about the food.
  • healthykaitlin
    healthykaitlin Posts: 91 Member
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    I went out last weekend, everyone was ordering beer & burgers & I got a shrimp Caesar salad, dressing on the side/hold the croutons and drank water. I was picked on, but completely satisfied with my meal. I love Caesar salad though, if I was "settling" it may have been a different story. Plan ahead... Get comfortable asking for substitutions... Plan accordingly as far as calorie allowance goes... Don't feel guilty if you splurge, just get back on track the following day.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,372 Member
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    jemhh wrote: »
    Separate being social from eating. I'm not saying not go out to eat. I'm saying realize that being at a restaurant and spending time with friends doesn't require you to ingest food while doing those things. Engage in conversation, enjoy the company of others, don't make it about the food.

    Agreed, but it's awkward when everyone is eating and you're not... especially if you're hungry. Obviously you could have a light meal beforehand then just say that you're not very hungry and order a small salad or some soup (I'd say an appetizer, but they're often more calories than an entree, so maybe not).
  • ASKyle
    ASKyle Posts: 1,475 Member
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    Bank calories (100 or 200) during the week to "save" for your outing. Then spend them!

    I personally stay away from high calorie drinks and try to stick with liquor and wine. Those 300 calorie IPA's are really hard to save for!
  • MissusMoon
    MissusMoon Posts: 1,900 Member
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    I usually look for grilled fish, grilled veggies and salads with a vinaigrette dressing. Fish tacos that include grilled fish and cabbage are pretty easy to log. Most cuts of beef are offered by weight on the menu. Go small. I eat out quite often and manage to stay under while having a wonderful meal.

    If you do give into a craving while you're out, make smart decisions. One day I had a profound craving for a french dip sandwich. I identified that was the specific thing I wanted, and indulged. I ate half the sandwich, skipped the fries (because I wasn't craving the fries, just the sandwich), got a salad with aforementioned low-cal dressing and I was totally satisfied.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    Francl27 wrote: »
    jemhh wrote: »
    Separate being social from eating. I'm not saying not go out to eat. I'm saying realize that being at a restaurant and spending time with friends doesn't require you to ingest food while doing those things. Engage in conversation, enjoy the company of others, don't make it about the food.

    Agreed, but it's awkward when everyone is eating and you're not... especially if you're hungry. Obviously you could have a light meal beforehand then just say that you're not very hungry and order a small salad or some soup (I'd say an appetizer, but they're often more calories than an entree, so maybe not).

    I'm not saying not to eat at all though. I'm saying go, eat within your budget, and then stop eating. That may mean that you're the first person finished eating but there's always going to be a first person finished eating. I've never had a situation where I ate my food, finished up, and then somebody has given me a hard time about not eating more. I don't know. Meals with friends are like any other meal to me.
  • LuckyNumbers
    LuckyNumbers Posts: 208 Member
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    Some tactics I employ:

    Skip the bun/tortilla/bread that might come with an entree. Specifically ask that it be left out.

    Only eat half your plate and take the rest home - if you lack willpower (like I do), ask that half be boxed up right away.

    Split a meal with a friend. I do this fairly often. Mostly with my two-year old. :smile:

    Relax, and enjoy yourself. On days/weekends you know you might overindulge, maybe get in an extra vigorous workout that morning, or load up on veggies during the day so you have enough calories for the evening. Banking calories is difficult for me (1200/day, 4'11", yes I'm eating enough), but if you can swing it, that's a good strategy, too.
  • JessaWannaEatEverything
    JessaWannaEatEverything Posts: 106 Member
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    It sounds kind of stupid, but every time I go out with friends I pretend I'm already that super in shape girl I want to be.. and try to think about what she would eat. For some reason it makes me more confident ordering, and makes me feel like people aren't judging me. It seems like when people see someone with a little extra pudge ordering something healthy they look down on them, but if they see someone in awesome shape doing it they admire them.
  • shrcpr
    shrcpr Posts: 885 Member
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    its_laura_btw wrote: »
    Just go out if you want! I know it's hard but if you want to enjoy that outing, it's like there's not much of a choice.
    Personally my friends can go suck it if they want me to eat out right now haha.

    This is me right now. I'm on the home stretch with a low calorie goal and a small deficit so I am reserving the right to refuse any or all social occasions until I hit maintenance. Probably not a good strategy if you've got a ways to go or are highly social.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,372 Member
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    JessaWannaEatEverything wrote: »
    It sounds kind of stupid, but every time I go out with friends I pretend I'm already that super in shape girl I want to be.. and try to think about what she would eat. For some reason it makes me more confident ordering, and makes me feel like people aren't judging me. It seems like when people see someone with a little extra pudge ordering something healthy they look down on them, but if they see someone in awesome shape doing it they admire them.

    It's funny really because now the 'healthy' stuff usually tastes better to me! I went to Friendly's once and picked the only option they had under 500 calories (I wasn't in the mood for salad but it really the only option, so I sucked it up). I had already lost my weight and everyone else was obese and ordered 1000+ calories dishes but honestly? I didn't feel like I was missing out on anything. It didn't look appetizing to me at all. I did however feel extremely self conscious for ordering a salad... One of our friends commented on how she got the salad once and it was good though, so when you think about it.. it's just another dish. No reason to feel bad for ordering something that has less calories (but it's partly why I don't order off-menu stuff - I feel too self conscious - although I have no problem asking for dressing on the side).

    But I guess that's Friendly's - if it was a nicer restaurant I would probably make room for something if I really wanted it. But I see people in shape all the time who order whatever they want - they just typically don't eat the whole thing and eat lightly the rest of the day or the day after.

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