Where did it go? How do I rebuild confidence?

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m0nsterdad
m0nsterdad Posts: 37 Member
in Motivation and Support
I broke the 100lb mark in weight loss a few months back. Unfortunately a nasty divorce and my kids moving to a different state has caused me to backslide and gain 30lbs back. I've gotten back on the wagon and have lost a few of what I gained back but it's been tough. I have a hard time being in the gym lately because all I think about is how I used to look and that I'm not even close now and I'm getting older. My confidence is also shot because I'm not able to match the weight I was able to put up or the intensity. I know I'm asking for too much too soon, but how do I get my confidence back to stay on my journey? How do I rebuild my confidence along with my body?
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Replies

  • viktorija32
    viktorija32 Posts: 48 Member
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    Try and start all over again as the old saying is fall 7 times, get up 8! You can do it, set yourself a goal and start going to the gym and do what you can. It wont happen overnight but you will lose weight. Believe in your abilities that you can do it.
  • FabianMommy
    FabianMommy Posts: 78 Member
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    Just get back in the saddle my friend, you know you can do it and you want it badly, so go after it. Just keep working towards your goals, expect bad days as well as good but keep putting in the effort, note everything you put in your mouth and keep that calorie deficit. If you don't already have a Fitbit, maybe think about getting one, I find it helps keep me accountable and it's made all the difference.

    You can do it!
  • WalkingQueen1979
    WalkingQueen1979 Posts: 119 Member
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    I know how you feel I have been on the weight loss wagon on and off since high school. I lost then gained but now I'm serious and I log in everyday and exercise everyday. You can do it we all have bad days but all that matters is to keep going no matter how long it takes
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    You definitely can't compare yourself now to the you of the past. Best thing to do is wipe the slate clean, forgive yourself for any backsliding, and move forward as a wiser man. It sounds like you've been through the wringer a bit and I'm sorry to see that. Best of luck to you.
  • lizzelspark
    lizzelspark Posts: 178 Member
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    I'm sorry to hear must be so hard :( for me setting goals help you could always try it too it's such a good feeling to reach your goals that high you get is so unreal that keeps me going . I'm up there in age and someone told me I'm not 20 anymore for the stuff I do at the gym I just laughed and told him I'm doing stuff now that I could never do when I was 20 . Lol well my point is it's not to late to get in great shape again . You can do it !!
  • NadiaMayl
    NadiaMayl Posts: 496 Member
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    Today is a new day and every day we are a new us! Sucks to have gone through a divorce and everything that drags between it, but you're back! You're realizing sooner than later, you cannot hold last year's you up to the same challenged, not just because you've gotta retrain your body, but also your brain... You're probably emotionally burnt out, so it's gonna be tougher some days, but you've done it before, so you know the strength and will power still belongs to you, it's still in there! So, start fresh, don't compare yourself to others (including your other self), just start fresh!!!
  • clairelouisekaa
    clairelouisekaa Posts: 74 Member
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    One day at a time and keep breathing xx love yourself everthing else will fall into place xx
  • lizzelspark
    lizzelspark Posts: 178 Member
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    That's great !! Just keep going ! I have been going to the gym for 3 years now and I still don't like looking in the mirror but I still go and give it my all and I always leave feeling like I'm on top of the world
  • JessiBelleW
    JessiBelleW Posts: 815 Member
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    Maybe you could get a personal trainer for a few sessions? That may help you focus in the gym and give you some direction - you'll also be less likely to skip out on the gym as you will have paid for it and made a commitment
  • StephanieJane2
    StephanieJane2 Posts: 191 Member
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    A good looking guy like you should have plenty of confidence xx keep the gym up and you will soon feel better, good luck xx
  • AlyssaAnne03
    AlyssaAnne03 Posts: 79 Member
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    "Cold turkey" always works best for me.
    I decided to cut out all junk and go low carb /keto and restrict my calories to about 1200.
    Strict guidelines help me most.
    I don't allow myself any cheats until I meet a high goal. Like I want to lose another 20 pounds by July then I can have a cheat on my daughters bday
  • justcallmefit
    justcallmefit Posts: 1 Member
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    I'm doing cold turkey now while I eat bacon jerky lol
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,712 Member
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    So sorry to hear about the divorce and your kids moving away. I can't imagine how hard that is. However, just like everything else, time heals and things get better. Slowly, but surely you'll adjust to your new normal. This is a huge life changing event so give yourself some time and don't be so hard on yourself.

    Being a dedicated dad is commendable, so good for you! But the same thing applies here that I mention occasionally on these boards: losing yourself and identifying as a dad ONLY isn't healthy, just as it isn't good for moms to only be "moms". We are capable of many roles and you have to take care of yourself first in order to care for others.

    From your last post it sounds like you are getting back on track. Keep it up!
  • sclark2017
    sclark2017 Posts: 12 Member
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    Wow, I'm so sorry about what you've gone through the recently. My advice is to not give up because if you tell yourself now that you're far from your goal and not real confident in your ability to reach your goal, then you are more likely to give up. Don't let giving up be an option. If you want to make a change in your lifestyle, put in the work and make it happen. You can do it!
  • m0nsterdad
    m0nsterdad Posts: 37 Member
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    StephanieJane2 wrote: »
    A good looking guy like you should have plenty of confidence xx keep the gym up and you will soon feel better, good luck xx

    Thank you so much for this comment!
    It's been a kind time since I felt that way about myself...thank you again!

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