Hard work not paying off

jlkcmk
jlkcmk Posts: 14 Member
My husband has been dieting and exercising for 3 weeks. I was busting his chops until I had my annual physical with my Doctor last week and realized how bad I let myself go. I decided something needed to change. I've been eating nothing but vegetables and protein .. I even joined a gym and have been going everyday after work. My goal is to lose 40lbs l. I don't expect miracles overnight but I feel like I've been killing myself for the past week and half and only lost 2lbs to show for it. Meanwhile my husband is dropping 5lbs a week but were both on the same regimen. He hits the gym harder as I am in the process of quitting smoking but its discouraging to give up all the foods I love, wake up sore from my previous nights workout to not see a little result.
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Replies

  • jlkcmk
    jlkcmk Posts: 14 Member
    Don't compare yourself to others. Especially not to someone of another gender. Men typically lose faster and build more muscles than women, because of their higher levels of testosterone. But men also need to have a lower fat% to be healthy, so it evens out. Don't be jealous.

    Please don't "kill yourself". You don't have to, and shouldn't, exhaust yourself or eat a boring diet. Move more and eat food you like in appropriate portions. That's what it takes. It also takes a long, long time. So it's important that you like what you're doing, if you want to get noticeable results. One week won't make much difference for your weight. How much you can lose per week, depends on how much you have to lose. With 40 pounds to lose they would come off at 1.5 per week at this stage. Later it will be slower. Weight also fluctuates independently from fat loss/gain, so you need lots of data points over a long time to see the trend.


    Thank you for the words of encouragement. :) Its a huge change for me and I struggle with it everyday. I went from pizza & snacks to fish & broccoli :) its torture in the beginning lol

  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,331 Member
    jlkcmk wrote: »
    Don't compare yourself to others. Especially not to someone of another gender. Men typically lose faster and build more muscles than women, because of their higher levels of testosterone. But men also need to have a lower fat% to be healthy, so it evens out. Don't be jealous.

    Please don't "kill yourself". You don't have to, and shouldn't, exhaust yourself or eat a boring diet. Move more and eat food you like in appropriate portions. That's what it takes. It also takes a long, long time. So it's important that you like what you're doing, if you want to get noticeable results. One week won't make much difference for your weight. How much you can lose per week, depends on how much you have to lose. With 40 pounds to lose they would come off at 1.5 per week at this stage. Later it will be slower. Weight also fluctuates independently from fat loss/gain, so you need lots of data points over a long time to see the trend.


    Thank you for the words of encouragement. :) Its a huge change for me and I struggle with it everyday. I went from pizza & snacks to fish & broccoli :) its torture in the beginning lol

    Your husband is a man, likely taller and heavier than you are, and as you said he is more active. Eating the same quantities would result in more weight loss for him than you because he has a bigger more muscular body to fuel. If anything, you are actually doing better than your husband. Losses beyond 1% of your body weight a week are not healthy.

    Not much to add to the above post regarding weight fluctuations and portions except that by torturing yourself you are setting yourself up for failure. You may need close to a year to lose all of your desired weight, so the easier you make it for yourself the better. Count your calories as accurately as possible and trust the process. What exactly is making this a struggle? Are you feeling hungry all the time? Are you not enjoying your food choices? Are you being tempted by other choices? Because each of these can be tackled in a way to make the dieting process easier and less stressful.
  • Kamikazeflutterby
    Kamikazeflutterby Posts: 777 Member
    If it's torture, change what you're doing. Or keep torturing yourself, if that's your thing. Just remember:

    1. The safe word is "banana."
    2. If you want to quit, you can change your calorie goals to lose 1 or .5 pounds a week and just lose weight slower instead.

    Good luck. Starting was the hard part for me, and learning to have my treats in moderation. Now things feel much, much easier.

    For what it's worth, I'll plan all my meals for weight loss, make dinner (the shared family meal) my high calorie meal, and still watch my husband lose weight just because he's eating less at dinner. I'm happy for him, but it is still frustrating. I call it his "second hand weight loss."
  • jammer1963
    jammer1963 Posts: 106 Member
    jlkcmk wrote: »
    My husband has been dieting and exercising for 3 weeks. I was busting his chops until I had my annual physical with my Doctor last week and realized how bad I let myself go. I decided something needed to change. I've been eating nothing but vegetables and protein .. I even joined a gym and have been going everyday after work. My goal is to lose 40lbs l. I don't expect miracles overnight but I feel like I've been killing myself for the past week and half and only lost 2lbs to show for it. Meanwhile my husband is dropping 5lbs a week but were both on the same regimen. He hits the gym harder as I am in the process of quitting smoking but its discouraging to give up all the foods I love, wake up sore from my previous nights workout to not see a little result.

    My wife and I recently visited a nutritionist for our health care provider. She told my wife to balance meals that have 30 carbs and 15 proteins. I asked about calories and fats and she said, trust me, if you stick to the 30 carbs and 15 proteins for each meal, then you will lose weight. That is for main meals, not snacks. I'm sorry, but I can't remember exactly what she said about snacks. But she also said that men lose weight more easily because they tend to have more lean muscle mass than women do. Good Luck!!
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,575 Member
    You can't compare yourself to anyone else, especially men. Chances are he has more weight to lose than you, plus he has a higher TDEE...meaning he burns more in a day and it's easier for him to create a nice cushy deficit. If I was to compare myself to a 200lb man I would certainly assume he would be losing fat faster than me.
  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,345 Member
    edited May 2016
    2lbs in 1 1/2 weeks is great progress! be patient, keep going and you will keep seeing results.
    Aim for 1lb per week loss.

    Don't compare your weight loss to anyone else, that only sets you up for disappointment.
  • Spliner1969
    Spliner1969 Posts: 3,233 Member
    Avg weight loss for someone who's trying really hard should be no more than 2lbs a week on average. If it's more you're probably dieting too much. If you want to lose 40 lbs, it's going to take at least 20 weeks, probably 30 (because everyone needs a break or a cheat day once in a while). So figure on 30 weeks and see where you are and see if you believe the hard work is paying off. Just remember, it's a heck of a lot easier to put weight on then take it off, and it'll take even twice as long to build muscle so keep up the hard work and you'll start seeing and/or feeling results in a few weeks.
  • jlkcmk
    jlkcmk Posts: 14 Member
    jlkcmk wrote: »
    Don't compare yourself to others. Especially not to someone of another gender. Men typically lose faster and build more muscles than women, because of their higher levels of testosterone. But men also need to have a lower fat% to be healthy, so it evens out. Don't be jealous.

    Please don't "kill yourself". You don't have to, and shouldn't, exhaust yourself or eat a boring diet. Move more and eat food you like in appropriate portions. That's what it takes. It also takes a long, long time. So it's important that you like what you're doing, if you want to get noticeable results. One week won't make much difference for your weight. How much you can lose per week, depends on how much you have to lose. With 40 pounds to lose they would come off at 1.5 per week at this stage. Later it will be slower. Weight also fluctuates independently from fat loss/gain, so you need lots of data points over a long time to see the trend.


    Thank you for the words of encouragement. :) Its a huge change for me and I struggle with it everyday. I went from pizza & snacks to fish & broccoli :) its torture in the beginning lol

    Your husband is a man, likely taller and heavier than you are, and as you said he is more active. Eating the same quantities would result in more weight loss for him than you because he has a bigger more muscular body to fuel. If anything, you are actually doing better than your husband. Losses beyond 1% of your body weight a week are not healthy.

    Not much to add to the above post regarding weight fluctuations and portions except that by torturing yourself you are setting yourself up for failure. You may need close to a year to lose all of your desired weight, so the easier you make it for yourself the better. Count your calories as accurately as possible and trust the process. What exactly is making this a struggle? Are you feeling hungry all the time? Are you not enjoying your food choices? Are you being tempted by other choices? Because each of these can be tackled in a way to make the dieting process easier and less stressful.

    The always being hungry is the only tortuous part. I eat salad for lunch and not even an hour later I'm hungry again. If I could eat and be filled up then it wouldn't be so challenging :smile:
  • seska422
    seska422 Posts: 3,218 Member
    jlkcmk wrote: »
    jlkcmk wrote: »
    Don't compare yourself to others. Especially not to someone of another gender. Men typically lose faster and build more muscles than women, because of their higher levels of testosterone. But men also need to have a lower fat% to be healthy, so it evens out. Don't be jealous.

    Please don't "kill yourself". You don't have to, and shouldn't, exhaust yourself or eat a boring diet. Move more and eat food you like in appropriate portions. That's what it takes. It also takes a long, long time. So it's important that you like what you're doing, if you want to get noticeable results. One week won't make much difference for your weight. How much you can lose per week, depends on how much you have to lose. With 40 pounds to lose they would come off at 1.5 per week at this stage. Later it will be slower. Weight also fluctuates independently from fat loss/gain, so you need lots of data points over a long time to see the trend.


    Thank you for the words of encouragement. :) Its a huge change for me and I struggle with it everyday. I went from pizza & snacks to fish & broccoli :) its torture in the beginning lol

    Your husband is a man, likely taller and heavier than you are, and as you said he is more active. Eating the same quantities would result in more weight loss for him than you because he has a bigger more muscular body to fuel. If anything, you are actually doing better than your husband. Losses beyond 1% of your body weight a week are not healthy.

    Not much to add to the above post regarding weight fluctuations and portions except that by torturing yourself you are setting yourself up for failure. You may need close to a year to lose all of your desired weight, so the easier you make it for yourself the better. Count your calories as accurately as possible and trust the process. What exactly is making this a struggle? Are you feeling hungry all the time? Are you not enjoying your food choices? Are you being tempted by other choices? Because each of these can be tackled in a way to make the dieting process easier and less stressful.

    The always being hungry is the only tortuous part. I eat salad for lunch and not even an hour later I'm hungry again. If I could eat and be filled up then it wouldn't be so challenging :smile:

    That's when you play around with your macro percentages and meal sizes in order to feel more satiated. If I don't eat enough protein and fat early in the day I get hungry and pretty much stay that way.

    Calorie counting is great because you can eat whatever works for you, not just salad. It doesn't sound like salad is working so mix things up until you find a food combo that keeps you satiated. Some people like frequent small meals and some like one or two big meals. It doesn't matter when you eat your calories, just how many calories you are eating.
  • PaytraB
    PaytraB Posts: 2,360 Member
    jlkcmk wrote: »
    The always being hungry is the only tortuous part. I eat salad for lunch and not even an hour later I'm hungry again. If I could eat and be filled up then it wouldn't be so challenging :smile:

    It would help if you told us more about your goals: how much you've got to lose, what you set your weight loss goal to be, what your daily calorie allowance is, etc. Perhaps your goal is too aggressive and not giving you enough daily calories? Are you eating some of your exercise calories back?

    A salad, especially if its mainly or all lettuce leaves, is a pretty small lunch and would leave most of us hungry quickly.

    More info and we may be able to help you figure this out.

    A 2lb/week loss is aggressive.

  • brb_2013
    brb_2013 Posts: 1,197 Member
    jlkcmk wrote: »
    Don't compare yourself to others. Especially not to someone of another gender. Men typically lose faster and build more muscles than women, because of their higher levels of testosterone. But men also need to have a lower fat% to be healthy, so it evens out. Don't be jealous.

    Please don't "kill yourself". You don't have to, and shouldn't, exhaust yourself or eat a boring diet. Move more and eat food you like in appropriate portions. That's what it takes. It also takes a long, long time. So it's important that you like what you're doing, if you want to get noticeable results. One week won't make much difference for your weight. How much you can lose per week, depends on how much you have to lose. With 40 pounds to lose they would come off at 1.5 per week at this stage. Later it will be slower. Weight also fluctuates independently from fat loss/gain, so you need lots of data points over a long time to see the trend.


    Thank you for the words of encouragement. :) Its a huge change for me and I struggle with it everyday. I went from pizza & snacks to fish & broccoli :) its torture in the beginning lol

    Don't make it torture! Spend several weeks logging your current diet, and see how much it is. Then start decreasing it. I was eating 2500+ per day, and switching to 1400 made me almost literally want to die. It was TORTURE. There is absolutely no need to be miserable. Losing at a slow rate means a better mastery of the skills needed to be successful. Instead of focusing on LBS disappearing, focus on good habits and building them to be strong.

    Taking the pressure off makes it a much more enjoyable experience. I'm not miserable at all and am losing weight. Maybe not the fastest, but I am so much more sure that this WILL last.
  • dlkfox
    dlkfox Posts: 463 Member
    It shouldn't be torture! I couldn't live without carbs. I'm eating pretty much everything I want to eat and just watching CICO. Switch it up and find out what combination of macros keep you satiated.