I need help. I need confidence. I need change.
BlyRidge
Posts: 1 Member
March 1st- 391.4
March 31st- 397.6
April 1st-398.4
April 30th-402.2
May 1st- 400.4
May 31st- 406.4
This is how my last 3 months have gone. The sad thing, is somewhere in March, I was at 388. I can't get away from fast food. I can't get off of my butt and get up to work out. Not even take a walk. It is disappointing and frustrating. I know the way people look at me. Hell, I look at myself that way. Question is, what have you used as a rally cry? I have hot rock bottom, but that doesn't seem to by lighting my fire. What did you do? How did you spark the powder keg and make it happen? I know I CAN do it, because I HAVE done it, and been as low as 330 a few years back.
March 31st- 397.6
April 1st-398.4
April 30th-402.2
May 1st- 400.4
May 31st- 406.4
This is how my last 3 months have gone. The sad thing, is somewhere in March, I was at 388. I can't get away from fast food. I can't get off of my butt and get up to work out. Not even take a walk. It is disappointing and frustrating. I know the way people look at me. Hell, I look at myself that way. Question is, what have you used as a rally cry? I have hot rock bottom, but that doesn't seem to by lighting my fire. What did you do? How did you spark the powder keg and make it happen? I know I CAN do it, because I HAVE done it, and been as low as 330 a few years back.
3
Replies
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Chin up my friend. A little change will start the chain reaction to a big change. Start cooking meal prepping just for one day keep At it and go from that.3
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Cut your fast food consumption by a third and see what happens. If you eat FF 3x a day, change it to 2x a day and eat something more nutritious for that third meal. If you eat FF 2x a day, change it to once a day. That one small change alone will make a huge difference and it's such an easy change to make.
If you can't cook, consider doing Jenny Craig or Nutrisystem where they provide meals for you. Yes, it's expensive, but if self-control is an issue, then pre-made meals are the way to go.
Go get a physical at your doctor's office and "run your numbers." Perhaps going on a medical program for weight loss is how you need to get motivated AND have accountability.
My rally cry was my family, but it's also the fact that I want to be able to look in a mirror every morning and say, "Not bad!" I'm not expecting perfection, but improvement.
Good luck to you! Feel free to friend me.5 -
I can't get away from fast food. I can't get off of my butt and get up to work out. Not even take a walk.
Unless you have some sort of physical impairment, then that isn't true. You absolutely can do all of those things, telling yourself you can't won't help you. Nobody is going to make you want to do those things if you tell yourself you can't. It's not about wanting to do them, it's not even about feeling motivated (because that is such an overused buzzword on here that is more often than not an excuse not to do something), it's about knowing why you need to do them and getting into a routine. This is entirely up to you, nobody is going to pick you up and magically make exercise happen for you. You're an adult with your own willpower, whether you do stuff or not impacts only upon you. Do it or don't, it's your life.6 -
Been there, did this: get away from fast food. I haven't had a Jack-in-the-Box Ultimate Cheeseburger in 16 years 6 months. In my world of Big Macs, large chocolate shakes, and bags of powdered donuts and quarts of chocolate milk I could keep my weight up near your weight, although I didn't have a scale to measure it. January 1, 2000 I decided to live as if I wanted to stay alive, and it was then easy to quit eating in the car. It was many years later that I realized my overeating was an expression of a will to die. If you want to live, act like it.
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Focus on small, short term goals. Like, REALLY short term- "all day today I will have no pop!" "Today I will walk for 10 minutes!" When you see a long way between where you are and where you want to be, it seems impossible. Look for easier victories to help boost your self-confidence!7
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Why can't you get away from fast food? Why can't you work out at least 1-2 days a week for 20-30 minutes a day? What did you do a few years ago that helped you lose? I think these are important questions you need to ask yourself so you can get started. Figuring out solutions to these problems will start you down your road to weight loss. Saying I can't and having excuses is just that.2
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For me personally, I have to focus on smaller goals almost to the point of tunnel vision as the end goal just seems so far away!
Try and find a diet and exercise plan that you are excited about because that makes it's so much easier to stay on track! Also try not to think of junk food as a treat, that's been such a game-changer for me as previously I would do well for a week and then 'treat' myself to a massive pizza and ice cream.
Good luck with everything!3 -
Small changes can produce big results. Discipline, and not Desire, determines your Destiny. You can do this.6
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My rally cry was my little boy - I want to be around to see him grow up and achieve all the things in his life that he wants to achieve. I'm not talking the same amount to lose as you so I won't pretend to know where you are coming from and how you feel about it but the process is the same - you need to find the one thing that pushes you to do it.
I agree absolutely with @foxlme - focus on really short term goals - like cutting out the soda for a day/week, cutting out the fast food a day at a time/drinking more water each day. Don't try to change everything at once - the big number and number of things to do will be too daunting and you are more likely to fail. So I would choose one thing to change and work at it for, say a week at a time. Then when you are finding that easier, add something else into the mix.
And as @scamd83 says, stop saying that you can't. I know it's easy to say but it becomes truth in our own eyes and the reality is that you can do it - if you really want to. You say in your profile that it is for your wife and future children and that is good. But ultimately, it has to be for you - you have to truly want to make the changes.
Good luck!1 -
here it is straight up truth.... you absolutely can get away from fast food... and you really haven't hit rock bottom.. if you had ,you would not be eating fast food... plain and simple...get off your @ss and take a walk.
I can say this with all honesty ... i was in your shoes... 55 years old, 5' 10 weighing in at 290 lbs.. i would eat at Mc d's at least twice a week.. sneak out of the house under the pretense of needing to go to the hardware store and head to Bk's or KFC for an afternoon snack.. then come home and eat dinner..then have another snack at around 9 pm... i was fat and miserable... i couldn't walk.. could go up a flight of stairs... my knees hurt all the time... i know how you feel... can't buy clothes, don't want to buy clothes.. on and on.
my wife would plead with me to lose weight... nope... not me ..i was in denial... i'm not that big.. i look in the mirror and saw a big guy not a FAT guy.
day after xmas my wife showed me a photo of my great nephew sitting on my lap ..she said i looked nice in my new shirt... I finally saw the FAT guy.. i looked terrible... it was my epiphany ... that day i joined MFP... i purchased a fitbit and i started..first week i could not do the 10 k steps recommended.. but i kept going... each day i added more.. i weigh and log every single bite of food ... i do not eat back any calories from exercise...as of this morning i am very proud to say i am down 65 lbs... 65 lbs!!!! go figure!!
its pretty easy... its calories in vs calories out... no magic pills or potions... you must eat at a deficit.. you must burn more calories than you eat... if i can do this so can you
when you actually hit rock bottom and really want to make a change this is the place to be...when your ready and need a friend to push you let me know.... i don't post much and i will not sugar coat anything...happy to help if i can8 -
When I'm happy and in a good mood I can do anything and feel invincible, but when I'm down I beat myself up and focus on how horrible and how much of a failure that I am. It's definitely a mind game
I was down a little over 20 lbs in march but have gained it all back, due to depression and giving up but today is a new day. I REALLY want this so even though I'm upset about my set back I'm going to pick myself up and go at it 100% and you can, too! If you want a friend feel free to add me! You CAN do this, believe in yourself! 2 -
So you can do this and get where you want. You have to start tracking your food and how much you take in. You can eat significant calories and still lose weight. While I would encourage exercise any exercise it's not necessary for you to lose weight. You have to get your self to a point where you want this more than anything else.1
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First and foremost, change your self-talk. When you hear yourself telling yourself "I can't ...(fill in the blank), immediately replace that thought with "I CAN...I am strong. I am healthy. I am energetic." Our brains only know what we tell it. We all have negative thoughts which can sabotage our success in reaching our goals in fitness and health. It takes a lot of practice to change those thoughts into positives, which lead us to positive action. Why do you want to lose weight? Find out your true reason. Be honest with yourself. Go forward TODAY. You have full control over what you put in your body, whether you sit on your butt and do nothing or go for a walk. Take it one hour at a time, if that helps. You can do this IF you decide you want to change. Small changes at first can lead to huge changes, which will change your life and how you feel about yourself!2
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I'm not gonna tell you how to eat right. I'm not gonna tell you about moving your body on step at a time. I'm pretty positive you already know how and what to do...
You need to figure out what's your worth. What do you deserve? Are you worth self improvement? Are you worth self love? Are you worth a family? Are you worth an amazingly healthy and happy future?
I know you are!!!! We all are!!! You just have to believe that you're worth it.
A belief is a thought you keep telling yourself, so tell yourself you're worth every second of the day and before you know it you'll believe it.3 -
Small changes can produce big results. Discipline, and not Desire, determines your Destiny. You can do this.
This...its all mental right now. You are letting this process overwhelm you. Your mind is saying this is impossible and you just don't know where to begin so you give up. So just make some small changes and take baby steps....set mini-goals each week.
A few things I have tried.
Set your MFP goal to a 10-20 lb weight loss instead of your goal weight. I wanted to go from 216 to 150. Every time I saw that, I freaked out.
Get a pedometer or down load a tracking app on your cell phone. Give yourself a daily goal of steps. Don't start with the 10,000 step goal or you will overwhelm yourself and get discouraged if you can't meet it. Start out by just walking around the house or your office a few times and then it won't seem like a chore or that you are 'going to work out'. Do some sit ups, arm exercises, or squats during the commercial breaks of your favorite tv shows.
You love fast food? So do I!!! Set a goal to only go there a set amount each week. If you go there, swap out the fries for a salad or some baked chips. This will save you several hundred calories. I know Wendy's and Chic fil a will do this for you. Commit to eating a lighter dinner if you get the fries so you will still meet your calorie goal.
Up your water intake and cut back on sodas. You don't have to go cold turkey but make a commitment that for every glass of soda you drink, you have to chase it with water. This helps you to stay at the 8-10 oz range, instead of going for seconds, thirds, etc. It takes me several days now it get through a 20oz coke.
Just a few things I started doing. Get luck and don't give up....
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I know I CAN do it, because I HAVE done it.
The hardest thing to change is the habits you have created. Even if you can overcome them to lose weight, it is easy to to fall right back into them if you don't really change. It takes modifying not just what you do (eating within your caloric bounds and consistently exercising), but building the new mental habits that make it happen.
You may need to seek help. You will need others around you to keep you accountable. But in the end, what matters is that you make the new you that you want. You can start small and incrementally increase changes.
Make two goals - one eating wise and one fitness wise. Something like, you will walk every day for 15 minutes for two week and you will cut out soda or reduce snacks. The goal is only that you stick to it and do it each day. Then make another goal to do the same for a month. If you stick to it, add another 15 minutes of walking each day and cut out or cut down on something else.
The key is consistency and not trying to do too much too quick. You are building new habits and that just takes time.
Good luck.
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I notice I have no desire to go to the gym if I eat starchy/sugary foods. I feel less sluggish the less I eat of these types of foods (especially cutting out fast food). It is hard to make healthy food for one person and is easier to go through the drive-thru- but each time I restart this process I realize how crummy food makes me feel crummy (examples: cravings and daily heartburn). The more you can work towards your goal, the more confidence you'll have and the less you'll need to look outside yourself for it. I know, easier said than done. Good luck and add friends on here that will motivate you!0
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Weightloss is an investigation of self. While we can offer you our stories, they may or may not be of any help to you. You have to look into yourself and try to make honest determinations about your strengths and weaknesses. Look at factors like how long you have been overweight, and behaviors you enact. Look for people who mirror your experience, but take their advice with a grain of salt. It may or may not be the key to long lasting success. You have the final say in the matter. The only right way is the one that works for you.
Send me a friend request if you'd like.1 -
I got a lot of inspiration from everyone's ideas here, thank you so much for taking the time to share the things that inspire and work for you. I too have been banging around at a high weight, 20 pounds up in the last 10 months. Goal is to do 13 for starters. Walk around the block with Ember (dog) every night and drink more water. I will log and keep my food log open for friends. I look forward to seeing what "Bly Ridge" decides to do! MamaMiki0
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As others have noted, it is your mindset that will determine your success going forward.
I've found that motivation comes and goes, so I believe you are deluding yourself if you hope to rely on an emotional rally to drive long term results. It's like holding your breath - you can't do it forever.
Success comes when you've really made a DECISION to change. When that happens, whatever happened yesterday becomes irrelevant. Through good days and bad days, nothing changes your decision that you are NOT going back to where you were before. Eventually, this mindset drives behaviors that bring positive results both on the scale and in your approach to every day life. It isn't easy, but it gets easier over time. Eventually, this new healthy lifestyle becomes WHO YOU ARE.
Finally, as others have said, start with small changes and set some short term goals. A few small victories will boost your confidence. Make a simple eating plan for the next few days and execute it. I think you will feel better just by having a plan. Good luck to you.3 -
You can do this and your worth doing it!!!!
I got a tracker....if I had to guess I would have thought I put in 10000 steps a day....nope 3500 hitting 5000 almost killed me lol I keep increasing and increasing...no I get moody if I don't get out for my walks.
Find something you like and do what you can...don't worry about what you can't do celebrate what you can and keep adding to it.
I hope you find your inner strength!!1 -
Hey there. I completely understand. I've just started my journey as well. In January 2015 after giving birth to my third child I was heavier than I have ever been. I lost some weight but about 2 months ago I decided I had enough and I need to do something. Please feel free to add me. I wish you the best of luck in your journey and remember to take it a day at a time.0
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Hey Man. I'm sort of in the same boat. I gained a lot of weight in a short period of time. I gained like 40 lbs within a few months. I was 420 at my heaviest two months ago and I'm at 400 right now.The first thing I did was go to the doctor for a checkup. He actually diagnosed me with depression and put me on a medication for it. The medication he prescribed has not only helped improve my mood but also has a side effect of weight loss. My Doctor also sent me to a nutritionist. She gave me a lot of helpful tips when it comes to fast food.
Things like: getting a grilled chicken sandwich/wrap instead of burgers
- using bbq sauce vs other condiments
- getting a side salad instead of fries and asking for an extra chicken breast to put on the salad to fill me up more - avoiding creamy dressings.
Just small changes like that have really helped me.1 -
Just stick in. In January the most demotivating thing was to look at my weight and think about how much I have to lose. For me it was being in the right mindset, I bought a fitbit and started logging everything in myfitnesspal app and going to the gym. I've lost around 26lbs this year doing this. You have to do it for yourself and not to change what the perceived judgment of others might be.0
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Nothing is easy. Pain is temporary until you quit. Focus on demolishing one pound a month. Don't over complicate. Be the change in others' lives. Focus. Use diligence. Have an encouraging voice. Be a light.0
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Small changes can produce big results. Discipline, and not Desire, determines your Destiny. You can do this.
Baby steps.
1. start by logging your food. Find out how much your eating.
2. On your MFP profile shoot for a modest loss of 1lb a week
3. Try to get the calories you are consuming to match the calories on the app.
4. Exercise adds to your available calories. When I started this 5 weeks ago, I could barely do 10 minutes on my treadmill, today I can do 60+.
Baby steps will lead to great things.1 -
My latest was a couple weeks ago I noticed I was just generally not feeling well. I had given up on losing weight a year or so ago when I hit a hard plateau. I knew it was coming I never had been able to break that weight. But when I started not feeling well I knew right away it was because I was not watching what I ate. Soooo I decided to track again. I have of course gained all the weight I lost back (fortunately not more) and hope to break that plateau this time. Tracking keeps me honest. Trying to meet some of my macros helps me tremendously. Tracking and getting the eating right first for me, I Also have cut my Diet Coke obsession down to one 20 oz bottle a day, which amazed me at how easy that was to do. I have a step tracker on my phone which isn't entirely accurate for me as I tend to leave it on the desk at work or the table at home ( but I don't eat those calories anyway). Next will be getting back to the gym, it has been over 1 1/2 years since I went. For me it's adding one thing at a time. I am also trying to build my support network so feel free to add me as a friend.1
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I like all that was said above. Especially the part about baby steps. I was at my rock bottom also and I am trying desperately to put my life together. It is daunting but it is also beautiful at the same time. I can do one small thing today to make my life better than yesterday. Baby steps for sure. I wish you the best of luck, you know you can do this!!0
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I struggle with getting coffee from anyplace that has coffee. I find myself going to McDonalds after work at 10 pm and getting a iced coffee. How did I cut that? I decided I needed to do something for me. I'm only 20 and doctors have talked about putting me on blood pressure mess. I have goals of having kids one day, and watching them grow up. But at the weight I am having kids would be a struggle. If you want to change your lifestyle, and lose weight then you have to do it for you. Feel free to add me!0
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