Will it be worth it? Or am I just fooling myself?
TheHappyLoser
Posts: 95 Member
I am here since 21days. I lost 9 lbs during that time , what of course is "beginner's luck," since I cut out sweets and alcohol almost completely.
I have been so motivated, so determined and so ready for this new life. I have been in a good mood from day one here. I to cheer on my "friends" and try to be a positive force on the sideline for others like me.
Yesterday, however, I fell in a hole so it seems. I was cleaning house and I was huffing and puffing as usual. I looked at our pictures and saw this beautiful, healthy laughing woman who was me once. It almost feels like I was looking at a different life.
It hit me so hard. Am I trying to turn back time? I am in my early 50's now, maybe that's just how I am supposed to look like now. All the women in my family develop this ugly muffin top when they get older. Why should I be an exception?
Menopause and aging, maybe it's all just normal and I am trying to fight windmills. All of a sudden I felt lonely. So many of my friends here are so much younger than me. I can't do what they can do. Who am I kidding?
Interestingly enough, I didn't overeat or binge eat as I normally would do. I ate my salad and a healthy dinner and I walked the steps up and down 9 times, just a little bit slower than the day before.
I feel still down, try to avoid looking in the mirror. I feel fat, ugly and old and a little bit hopeless.
I have been so motivated, so determined and so ready for this new life. I have been in a good mood from day one here. I to cheer on my "friends" and try to be a positive force on the sideline for others like me.
Yesterday, however, I fell in a hole so it seems. I was cleaning house and I was huffing and puffing as usual. I looked at our pictures and saw this beautiful, healthy laughing woman who was me once. It almost feels like I was looking at a different life.
It hit me so hard. Am I trying to turn back time? I am in my early 50's now, maybe that's just how I am supposed to look like now. All the women in my family develop this ugly muffin top when they get older. Why should I be an exception?
Menopause and aging, maybe it's all just normal and I am trying to fight windmills. All of a sudden I felt lonely. So many of my friends here are so much younger than me. I can't do what they can do. Who am I kidding?
Interestingly enough, I didn't overeat or binge eat as I normally would do. I ate my salad and a healthy dinner and I walked the steps up and down 9 times, just a little bit slower than the day before.
I feel still down, try to avoid looking in the mirror. I feel fat, ugly and old and a little bit hopeless.
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Replies
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50 also.
Down about 13lbs in 5 weeks, compliments have started coming in. My wife and daughter have commented on how I don't look as wide.
The previous weekend I was feeling pretty good when I had to shop for smaller pants.
Last night I decided to finally take pictures to document my journey... and I was horrified by what the camera saw. Absolutely horrified.
Not only that but why am I doing this? Not gonna lie, I'm having a bunch of fun with the whole process, everything I'm mentally equating with video games so a good, high fun factor.
Then again, last time I was lean it almost ended my marriage. My wife was horrendously jealous, I couldn't step out of the house without her asking if females were going to be where I was going, unlike today when she is chill.
The stress I underwent at that time was immense, so why am I working on putting myself through that again?
I tell myself it's for a better job, to finally find something better than this dead end job that has been killing my soul for the past 10 years. Is that the only reason?1 -
My dearest friend on MFP is over 60 years old. Another friend of mine lost over 100 lbs and she is in her late 50's.
Age is just a number. You are a beautiful person and just because you have put on a few lbs and are now working on reducing those lbs. Its simple as that.
Take it from somebody who lost over 50 lbs and gained it all back by giving up... don't give up. Its not a good feeling to look back and think "wow, I would have been done by now and would have maintained my goal weight"1 -
MyReflections wrote: »I am here since 21days. I lost 9 lbs during that time , what of course is "beginner's luck," since I cut out sweets and alcohol almost completely.
I have been so motivated, so determined and so ready for this new life. I have been in a good mood from day one here. I to cheer on my "friends" and try to be a positive force on the sideline for others like me.
Yesterday, however, I fell in a hole so it seems. I was cleaning house and I was huffing and puffing as usual. I looked at our pictures and saw this beautiful, healthy laughing woman who was me once. It almost feels like I was looking at a different life.
It hit me so hard. Am I trying to turn back time? I am in my early 50's now, maybe that's just how I am supposed to look like now. All the women in my family develop this ugly muffin top when they get older. Why should I be an exception?
Menopause and aging, maybe it's all just normal and I am trying to fight windmills. All of a sudden I felt lonely. So many of my friends here are so much younger than me. I can't do what they can do. Who am I kidding?
Interestingly enough, I didn't overeat or binge eat as I normally would do. I ate my salad and a healthy dinner and I walked the steps up and down 9 times, just a little bit slower than the day before.
I feel still down, try to avoid looking in the mirror. I feel fat, ugly and old and a little bit hopeless.
NO, it's not how you're supposed to look. And you should be the exception simply because you CAN.
To a degree we cannot change our genetics, but we CAN be our healthiest selves regardless of how our blood relatives look.
This is a long process and you've done great already! Be mindful that it takes your mind a while to catch up to your body. You'll see more physical changes soon. Don't give up and don't be discouraged! Celebrate the fact that you did NOT react by bingeing. That is a huge success!7 -
I'm 57 years old; started on MFP about a year and a half ago to lose 34 pounds (I'm 5 feet tall. On me 34 pounds was a lot). At 34 pounds overweight, I had no neck, lots of tummy and no shape.
A year and half later, holding steady at between 104 and 107 pounds, I have a shape, my neck returned, my energy's up, I'm writing again, and even my hair and nails are better than they were. I'm looking and feeling younger than I did back when I started.
So I believe, as was stated above, that we can all be as healthy - and as healthy looking - as we are ready to be, barring any outstanding medical issues.4 -
Discouragement can be rough! Getting healthier is a process, and it's not always fun. I'm just beginning again after many failed attempts, so I understand that it can be hard when self-doubt starts to chip away at one's motivation. I do believe though, that regardless of whatever your age may be, feeling better will make this worth it for you. I think that the fact that you didn't turn to overeating when you were upset is a great indicator that you CAN do this. I know I've succumbed to emotional eating far too many times. Anyway, I wish you lots of luck on your journey and I hope that the excitement comes back soon.
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I am not giving up. I just feel so frustrated since yesterday. I guess the realization that it will take a long while finally sunk in.
There is no magic wand, I will have to do and undo what I did to myself. It's not always that easy to face reality.
You guys are right. I didn't overeat...that's a reason to jump up and cheer for myself. I just wish jumping would be easier. :-)9 -
MyReflections wrote: »I am not giving up. I just feel so frustrated since yesterday. I guess the realization that it will take a long while finally sunk in.
There is no magic wand, I will have to do and undo what I did to myself. It's not always that easy to face reality.
You guys are right. I didn't overeat...that's a reason to jump up and cheer for myself. I just wish jumping would be easier. :-)
I really and truly understand this kind of funk. I had a few days of one myself over the weekend. It was so profoundly emotional. I spent some time talking through it, both to my husband and most importantly, myself. My head is back in the game.
I think these rough spots happen because there is a lot of emotion tied into our weight and how that impacts us. What led us there, how we felt there, and how we're working so hard and we're not there yet. Growing older isn't for the faint of heart, nor is getting in shape after years of neglect!
You know you're doing the right thing. Keep your chin up. This will pass.4 -
What everyone has said is so true, I almost bought the lie that it was ok to gain weight and get out of shape as I got older, everyone else was gaining weight, as long as I stayed smaller than them I was good, I was ok with this for nearly 8 years!! then I decided I could change, it hasn't been easy or quick but it has been so worth it, friends here are my fuel, find them and you will never look back.5
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Perhaps the focus shouldn't be on losing weight, but developing habits that will lead to weight loss.MyReflections wrote: »...I guess the realization that it will take a long while finally sunk in.4 -
2011rocket3touring wrote: »
Perhaps the focus shouldn't be on losing weight, but developing habits that will lead to weight loss.MyReflections wrote: »...I guess the realization that it will take a long while finally sunk in.
Yes, I agree. Sometimes it's helpful to switch focus from solely losing weight to learning how to develop new habits. Charles Duhigg's book "The Power of Habit" is excellent because learning how to break bad habits and develop new ones is useful in every aspect of our lives.1 -
A slump can be terrible. But don't give up lovely! You're making this change for you. We all have to fight our demons and expectations, you reached out for help and that's exactly what you are supposed to do. Way to go for not giving up and sticking to your plan even when you felt defeated.1
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I'm 61 and have been on MFP for 3 yrs. I am in alot better shape than I was 5 yrs ago--and I wasn't too bad then either since I've always exercised. I was starting to think that being tired was normal, slowing down was normal, menopause problems and weight gain was normal. After all that's what growing old does to us--right? Time to slow down, and smell the roses. Well, after reading the boards on here, I started to realized how courageous other people were, and how they didn't let anything stop them from pushing themselves to the max. I decided to join them and I'm glad I did. I'm still old, but I've got grint, and I'm proud of what I've accomplished. Go you.5
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You just can't give up, everything you want for yourself is within your reach. Age doesn't really matter when it comes to improving your health and even self esteem. I've done it at 66 and there are so many of us here who are doing it and that should inspire you to do it too!
It's not easy, but it's not actually that easy even when you're in your 20's, so don't use age as an excuse. It's hard and it takes time but try to enjoy the process and the ride. Celebrate small victories like the one you had yesterday............you didn't eat all the food because of your feelings!
Keep putting one foot in front of the other and build on yesterday's success. When you falter, and we all do, pick yourself back up and find the determination to start again!1 -
I was 48 when I started here, and I had similar thoughts that maybe this was just how it was when a person got older. And for a while I let the complacency set in. I couldn't expect to be where I was in my 30s.
But that was not what I wanted. I still wanted to do the stuff I was doing in my 30s.
So I signed up here ... and over the next 8 months I dropped 25 kg back down to the weight I was in 2004 when I was 37. This is the weight I was from about my mid-twenties until 2005 when I started very gradually putting on a little bit of weight.
And I'm back to doing the long-distance cycling events I was doing when I was 37 too.
It's not over yet! And I will fight to the finish!2 -
61 and in better shape than i was at 20 or 40. You are in control of your life and fitnes..4
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Just joining the throng of women who have been there and done it.
Like @lorrpb I am in much better shape now than I was in my 20's and 40's.
Even though I now weigh the same as I did then, I am so much more than the number on the scale- I am fitter and healthier.
I lost the weight in my mid 50's during menopause and I am still maintaining at 62yo.
Don't be discouraged, you can do this. Keep counting your calories and, when you are ready, start adding in more activity.
Start slow and find things you like. Adding in some resistance work to help retain muscle would be good for you too.
You have a lot of fine examples of women who could posted above, you are not alone.
Cheers, h.3 -
The way I think about it, is this: You can't do anything about your age, but you can do something about your weight. And you are the only one who can tell if an effort is worthwhile. Everybody has to eat every day. You can choose to eat this, or that, and how much. Everybody's day has 24 hours. You can choose to spend some of that time moving. Or not. The results will vary depending on the combined factors in your effort, your genetics, and your environment. You can then choose to be content with your result, or to wish you were someone else. Funnily enough, that someone else could very well wish they were you.11
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kommodevaran wrote: »The way I think about it, is this: You can't do anything about your age, but you can do something about your weight. And you are the only one who can tell if an effort is worthwhile. Everybody has to eat every day. You can choose to eat this, or that, and how much. Everybody's day has 24 hours. You can choose to spend some of that time moving. Or not. The results will vary depending on the combined factors in your effort, your genetics, and your environment. You can then choose to be content with your result, or to wish you were someone else. Funnily enough, that someone else could very well wish they were you.
Best thing I've read in awhile!!
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kommodevaran wrote: »The way I think about it, is this: You can't do anything about your age, but you can do something about your weight. And you are the only one who can tell if an effort is worthwhile. Everybody has to eat every day. You can choose to eat this, or that, and how much. Everybody's day has 24 hours. You can choose to spend some of that time moving. Or not. The results will vary depending on the combined factors in your effort, your genetics, and your environment. You can then choose to be content with your result, or to wish you were someone else. Funnily enough, that someone else could very well wish they were you.
very well said... i am going to remember this!0 -
I'm 54 and working on it (again). I know how you're feeling. You've now had enough time that you are likely missing the "bad" foods you've probably tried to avoid to get your current progress. You've lost some weight, but when you look in the mirror you're not really seeing any change. Wouldn't it be great just to go back eating all that junk (that's kind of comforting) and just give up? As others have said, you make the decisions. You're "old", and you're going to get older (God willing). That's going to happen either way, and you can choose to get older and be unhealthy and unhappy, or you can choose to get older and get healthier (and with better health, you'll probably be happier too). Soon you'll start noticing that even though you don't look much different in the mirror, your clothes will start fitting looser and you have to cinch the belt in a little tighter. At some point, someone's going to notice and comment about your weight loss, and those things will motivate you a bit more. Hang in there, you're definitely not alone.0
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I feel like I typed an SOS and you all came to my rescue. Thank you all so much. You are right, it is my choice. Either I stay fat and immobile or I get my butt up, cry a little now and then and become a slimmer version of me. This will be the last "fat" summer.
Many of the things you all said resonated with me. I guess I just had a pity party and felt sorry for myself. I decided to give myself an 180-day challenge to turn my life around. It's just half a year and lately, time seems to fly. I will try not to be obsessed by the number on the scale, but rather by my improvement. I want to walk our puppy and I want to be able to get up and down without feeling like fainting. I am tired of being the fat lady, I want to wear my real clothes again.
I will hang in there and I will not give up. I could have eaten myself into a frenzy during my pity party, but I didn't. Thank you guys!
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Yes, it is ABSOLUTELY work it! Can you feel a difference since you've started? Do you feel healthier, happier, more srong, able to walk further or move better? Think about all the things that have improved in your life since you've made this life change.
9lbs in 21 days is amazing, but it's not JUST about the weightloss, especially as we get older. My mom turned 60 this year & she was ecstatic. She said, "when I was younger I thought I would be OLD when I was 60. But I'm swimming every day and doing yoga and gardening. I feel wonderful!" At 50 you still have LOTS of years ahead of you! You say you can't do all the things that your younger friends can, but what about the things you CAN do? I bet there is plenty!
Everyone has those dark moments, where they feel like crap and wonder what's the point. But you don't have to stay there! Every day is a new day. It is worth it, and YOU are worth it. Hope you are feeling better!2 -
MyReflections wrote: »I feel like I typed an SOS and you all came to my rescue. Thank you all so much. You are right, it is my choice. Either I stay fat and immobile or I get my butt up, cry a little now and then and become a slimmer version of me. This will be the last "fat" summer.
Many of the things you all said resonated with me. I guess I just had a pity party and felt sorry for myself. I decided to give myself an 180-day challenge to turn my life around. It's just half a year and lately, time seems to fly. I will try not to be obsessed by the number on the scale, but rather by my improvement. I want to walk our puppy and I want to be able to get up and down without feeling like fainting. I am tired of being the fat lady, I want to wear my real clothes again.
I will hang in there and I will not give up. I could have eaten myself into a frenzy during my pity party, but I didn't. Thank you guys!
Save this comment. ^^ Paste it on the first page your journal. Yes, start a journal/scrapbook for this journey. Remembering where I started keeps me going on many days. I don't want to go back there, so I keep moving forward.4 -
Once in a while I feel like "why am I doing this, I'll still be ugly". I'm physically disabled, and my legs/hips are deformed, and I walk on crutches. Even at a very healthy weight, I won't look good - I'm always going to look like a freak. But, I keep reminding myself I'm doing this to be healthy and working out to be strong. I do not want to have a major stroke, have high blood pressure, diabetes and be morbidly obese like my mother. I have enough problems with my disability. I don't need to cause other issues from the way I live my life. Sometimes you have to find another reason other than looking good, to put in the work.3
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I'm nearly 50 and back losing weight AGAIN!
I keep thinking, I'm a smart person, surely I should have worked this out by now....?
But the reality is that we don't always make the best decisions througout our lives and while we can turn those around it does take time.
My perspective this time is that this is for life. I'm not starting a diet, I'm not on a "journey" (there's no end to this, no destination, no time limit), I'm just working on developing good habits (eating less and moving more) that I have to keep up for ever.
I'm not excited about this, not even really when I see the number on the scale go down - I'm happy but resigned.
Some days I will do well (ie. eat a delicious variety of nutritious food), other days I'm going to eat more than I want to because I'm feeling sorry for myself, other days I will eat more than is good for me but enjoy every bite of it. And all of that is OK. I just have to work on having more days where I stick with my good habits that the other days.
One thing I do enjoy is seeing progress in the things I like to do. I run (so slowly that I will probably get overtaken by a turtle one day) and it's fun to find that I can go a bit further and a bit faster as I get that bit lighter.
And I wore a skirt to work yesterday that hasn't been out of my wardrobe for quite some time. And I'm loving being in a challenge group here on MFP, having that community around me all with the same goal (to try to beat the Slytherins!).
Good luck with your progress and keep checking in here, this is a great community!
PS. @mom22dogs - i read your name and thought "22 dogs, wow she must have to buy a lot of dog food!"1 -
Being healthy and fit is always worth the effort. Almost 47 here, down 60, almost to goal and WAY healthier than I was at 37. Not about turning back time, it's about having QUALITY of the time ahead! Keep on keeping on!2
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Up until she was 59 she could have tried to live healthy, but she didn't. Mom was 59 when she died.0
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I am sorry for your loss. We might hate the fact, but people die. A healthy lifestyle and an ideal weight is not a free pass to a long and happy life. That's not how it works.
Treasure the memories of your Mom, cherish the time you had together and don't feel anger or bitterness toward her, just because you think she could have changed something. We are all human, we make choices and pay the price.
I am writing this because I felt bitterness between the lines!
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