poor body image (jealous over smaller/petite/more delicate women), hard to keep motivated

There is something beautiful in all body types. You can't change your skeleton, you can just be in the best shape for the body you have. While some people do like the petite look for women, there are a lot of people that really like a taller woman that isn't petite.
I had a girlfriend that was 5'10" 188 pounds and ran marathons. When she got dressed up she had men drooling. I suspect she is similar to you. She was strong, she wasn't fat, but she wasn't thin, but she was happy with herself and was absolutely gorgeous.
My suspicion is you will get more graceful as you practice dancing more. Size has less to do with looking clumsy than lack of practice. Dance sounds like a great exercise for you.
No matter how we are built, our religion, nationality, family, social status, or what our skin tone there are always going to be people that don't like us because of it and it isn't anything we can do about it. It is bad enough dealing with those people, we shouldn't do it to ourselves

PrincessTinyheart wrote: »

I should have clarified a bit... they were referring to dating and relationships. I think that there was/is always an assumption in their mind that petite = more attractive and appealing to men.

Luckily, not all men like the same type of woman. Sounds like something your family needs to learn!

I struggle with the same jealousy of petite women. I'm 5'5 and 175lbs with a lowish (who really knows?1?) bodyfat. I have an hourglass shape and it's great but i'm never going to be a petite woman. After 4 kids (including twins) and 100+lb loss, my hips aren't going to get much smaller than 40" no matter how low I get my bodyfat and i've had these DD's since about age 12. I'm working on loving my body for what it can do. I can run a sub30min 5k, i can lift heavy stuff. Maybe you could look for motivation this way? Just know your not alone

it took a long time for me to love who i am. to stop listening to the outside chatter and embrace my height. my size. i think working on eating right working out, helped a lot. being an amazon is not a bad thing. xena, wonder woman, those are my idols. stop listening to those around you and embrace who you are! you are gorgeous! add me if you want support

PrincessTinyheart wrote: »

ElizabethOakes2 wrote: »

Little petite girls... always have the advantage? Until it comes to... Reaching stuff on the top shelf of the grocery store *Excuse me, ma'am, I don't know you but can you hand me that peanut butter*, changing our own tires (I bet you've never once had to stand on the lug wrench handle and jump up and down to get the lug nuts loose.), chopping firewood (*Put your muscles behind it, girl!* 'I did...', rearranging the living room, (I need a furniture dolly just to move stuff to vacuum.)
Sure, we might have the 'little petite advantage' of being seen as desirable to others, but when it comes to the real stuff, the important stuff, the stuff that REALLY matters in life? Believe me, you big strong girls will survive the zombie apocalypse, and we'll just be corpses at the door.

But you guys can charm big strong men into doing all of that stuff for you

*ahem* You bat your eyes at me, I can pretty much guarantee you could charm me too...

Most of my cousins are thin/smaller. I hated being average when we were growing up. Once we got older and I put on too much weight, I hated they were average. But when something needs to be done in the family, they know I'm the reliable one who can get stuff done, furniture moved, landscaping done in a reasonable time, instead of tiring out and basically wilting. By your pic, you are gorgeous. It may not change your mind coming from someone else, but I'm pretty confident saying others are not looking at you thinking the same thoughts you have.

While maybe not to the same extent, guys face similar issues. I'm 5'7" and envy the "tall" guys. I'm just short and stocky. But...that's how God made me and I can't control that. What I can control is being the best me I can be, and my weight is in my control.

Being short does have its advantages though. I can sit comfortably in the coach section of airplanes. Being short, I tend to have better balance than many taller people I know. I can own a Miata (which I do) and fit in it comfortably.

As many here have said, don't compare yourself to others. The grass only looks greener on the other side. Everyone has their own different weeds. Oh...and you look great in your pictures except when you look like a seal.

Sister, you just have to learn to love yourself for who you are and not for how you perceive people see you. When I look at your photo I see a voluptuous with a great smile and what I would imagine is a warm heart. Remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and you can bet there are tons of guys wanting to behold you. Love yourself.

@PrincessTinyheart it makes me really sad to hear/read you say those words. I am 6'2" and luckily accepted my height after high school. I've always had a lot of attention from men and women who think I'm beautiful. I'm sure you have too, you haven't been able to accept the compliments because you don't love yourself. You can be the most perfect specimen in the world, but if you aren't happy within, it doesn't matter. Try to pick out something you love about your inner beauty and outer beauty and say out loud every day..."I love my...." Words of affirmation to yourself will help!

PrincessTinyheart wrote: »

A lot of comments about how women of my size were **naturally less graceful**, should not wear certain types of clothes because someone with our frame would look "slutty" (short skirts, etc.), **don't even consider entering that junior beauty pageant (this was in junior high) because you would be in competition with all the little petite cute girls (their words)**.

I understand that your family didn't mean to be mean, but as someone whose mother said -- EVERY time I was walking out the door -- "you're not going to wear THAT, are you!?!?" (yikes!) it can have a negative effect and probably was really really hurtful to you. I added emphasis because those words may have become a deep part of your current image of yourself. Would you be able, now, to build a different, more realistic positive image of the truly beautiful woman that you have become? Good on you for being open to all this input!

--Amateur psychologist, signing off now.

PrincessTinyheart wrote: »

See, I just don't get the big deal of being able to reach something on a high shelf when you can ask someone to do it, or get a step stool, or get something long to push it towards you. I do work out but I have no interest in power lifting or competitive sports (nothing wrong with those who do... it's just not my cup of tea.).

Someone had asked me if other people have made rude comments about my size... I have had a few comments from men (nasty comments about being mannish or looking like a tree) and of course my family was a neverending source of comments that, in retrospect, I really do not think were meant to be hurtful... they just don't have a filter. A lot of comments about how women of my size were naturally less graceful, should not wear certain types of clothes because someone with our frame would look "slutty" (short skirts, etc.), don't even consider entering that junior beauty pageant (this was in junior high) because you would be in competition with all the little petite cute girls (their words).

It feels therapeutic to put this all out there... I have never spoken to anyone so openly about my feelings about this before. thanks to all of you.

I think your problem isn't your body. It's your mind, yes? You have let other people take their own insecurity and make it your problem. Men who make rude comments about tall ladies? The problem there is not tall ladies, believe me on that.

I'm tall, and can honestly say that while I have wished I were an inch taller on occasion, I've never wished to be short. Yes I have gotten angry looks and comments from men, especially when I wear heels, but that says something about them, not me. The only guys I have seriously dated were my height, so most of the time I look taller than them when we go out.

If you are pinging someone else's insecurity simply by being tall, they have issues. Stop letting those issues become yours.

On the short skirts, I agree in a way, different body types look sexy in different things - short ladies can wear miniskirts and look professional, I can't, sure. I look more sexy than professional in miniskirt, there's just more leg below the hemline. But I can wear the plungingest necklines as tall and almost flat chested lady, and look professional. I have shirts that I wear to work that most women would look sexy in, to the point of being unprofessional. They don't look remotely inappropriate on me, just good. That kind of stuff, no whining allowed, there are way more good looks for tall women than short, more things are made to look good on taller women. You have the advantage, be gracious.

I'm 5'3" - I love being short I cuddle in to my husband's chest at the perfect height His arms cradle me in the best way. I admit, when I need something off the top shelf at the store, I bat my green eyes and men help me out

One downfall that I can think of is that at a concert once, I was on the floor in General Admission and I got stuck between 2 tall guys, both of which smelled like they hadn't showered in decades. I love live music but this was not a good time for me.

That being said, I don't mind being short at all. When I reach for things at home with tongs, hubby laughs, tickles me and kisses my neck.

I'm very good with this

I am a big hulking amazon girl! I love it! Broad shoulders and hips make for nice curves, plus I can pick up heavy things and open my own jars. My daughter is built just like me, and she's a ballerina. When they have to move the bars, she picks up one end and hoists it over her shoulder like a construction worker while two other girls struggle together to lift the other end. It's great to be strong and healthy, the tiny girls just look weak in comparison!

I think it's safe to say that losing weight isn't going to improve your body image issues - you are already gorgeous and your picture is lovely and your weight is not the reason you have a poor body image.

I think the key here is being happy with the cards you have been dealt. There are a lot of advantages to the build we have and they far outweigh the disadvantages, but only if you choose to see them, embrace them, and accept them. Life is short. How many years have you already spent being unhappy with something completely out of your realm of control? Do what you can to lose weight if you want, but don't fret about the way you are made.

You are definitely not alone! We all go through this. I'm 5'5 and relatively in shape (I have some BF to lose) but still fight "teeny person envy." Powerlifting has helped me a TON...now I focus more on what my body can DO as opposed to simply how it LOOKS.