how to find a girl friend when you a fat mess like me :(
MRbigGUYXXL
Posts: 119 Member
im 300LBs no not much to look at , ive been told im funny and have a good sense of humor , but i just think im weird ,
i suppose im not a great person ether , i try my best but all ways mess up , im a loyal friend to my friends id die for any one of them , but i suppose that is because there life is worth living .....
im just looking for someone i dont care about looks weight or any of that , i just want some one who is nice no me that is all.
i mean how do i go about getting a nice women ,
tbh i dont feel i should go out with any girl i mean any women on the plant could do better than me .
i suppose this is more of a rant but a little help would be nice ..... thank you
i suppose im not a great person ether , i try my best but all ways mess up , im a loyal friend to my friends id die for any one of them , but i suppose that is because there life is worth living .....
im just looking for someone i dont care about looks weight or any of that , i just want some one who is nice no me that is all.
i mean how do i go about getting a nice women ,
tbh i dont feel i should go out with any girl i mean any women on the plant could do better than me .
i suppose this is more of a rant but a little help would be nice ..... thank you
3
Replies
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The first thing to work on is realizing your self-worth. Be confident in your sense of humor and your loyalty to your friends.
How are you messing things up? Is that something you can correct? If you are overpromising things, then try to stop. If you are sabotaging things, figure out why and see how you can stop it.
It is not all about losing weight to get the girl. Many women are attracted to humor, personality, and confidence more than looks.
If you don't love yourself, how can you expect others?
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sparklyglitterbomb wrote: »The first thing to work on is realizing your self-worth. Be confident in your sense of humor and your loyalty to your friends.
How are you messing things up? Is that something you can correct? If you are overpromising things, then try to stop. If you are sabotaging things, figure out why and see how you can stop it.
It is not all about losing weight to get the girl. Many women are attracted to humor, personality, and confidence more than looks.
If you don't love yourself, how can you expect others?
it is hard to love your self when all you want to do is die0 -
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Don't settle for just anything my man. We are all human and we ALL do see looks before anything else. I've never walked up to a woman and seen the PhD hanging in her office and anyone who says they don't care about physical attraction is either literally blind or lying their *kitten* off.
You're worth a lot more than you realize and you don't have to settle for someone who's "just nice to you." You can find yourself a total knockout catch if you're confident in who you are and what you have to offer. Physical attraction is only part of the equation, being an awesome person is the other.12 -
You sound really down. And it sounds like you are you're worse critic. Please stop putting yourself down. 4
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no girl will like you when you don't even have respect for/confidence in yourself...so I'd say start there.5
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sparklyglitterbomb wrote: »The first thing to work on is realizing your self-worth. Be confident in your sense of humor and your loyalty to your friends.
How are you messing things up? Is that something you can correct? If you are overpromising things, then try to stop. If you are sabotaging things, figure out why and see how you can stop it.
It is not all about losing weight to get the girl. Many women are attracted to humor, personality, and confidence more than looks.
If you don't love yourself, how can you expect others?
This is the answer.1 -
Even in your profile name your being hard on yourself calling yourself XXL
I think the only person being hard on yourself or thinks anything badly about yourself is you. You have to start looking and focussing on the positive, if you have friends that shows your a good person to be around, maybe you think your not much to look at but look, there are lots of unattractive people who have made huge success of their life and managed to find a partner. I don't think I'm ugly, I'm lucky I suppose but when you feel ugly inside it shows on your face, iv been there. Doesn't really matter what's on the outside.
And if you really feel like you want to die you must speak to someone to help you work out your feelings, stop being so hard on yourself6 -
MRbigGUYXXL wrote: »sparklyglitterbomb wrote: »The first thing to work on is realizing your self-worth. Be confident in your sense of humor and your loyalty to your friends.
How are you messing things up? Is that something you can correct? If you are overpromising things, then try to stop. If you are sabotaging things, figure out why and see how you can stop it.
It is not all about losing weight to get the girl. Many women are attracted to humor, personality, and confidence more than looks.
If you don't love yourself, how can you expect others?
it is hard to love your self when all you want to do is die
You need a therapist. You need one now. I am not being mean or dismissive. If you feel like this, you have issues both in your thinking and possibly brain chemistry that need to be addressed.
Please get some help.11 -
I'm exactly the way you described yourself, lost 100lbs and gained confidence and got all the ladies.....just lose the weight, make it a goal...
Not saying they dated me because I lost all the weight, more so because I was more confident in myself with the funny and and good sense of humour...3 -
MRbigGUYXXL wrote: »
it is hard to love your self when all you want to do is die
Do you have access to any type of therapy? It may be worth it to talk to someone and work on those feelings.
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MRbigGUYXXL wrote: »sparklyglitterbomb wrote: »The first thing to work on is realizing your self-worth. Be confident in your sense of humor and your loyalty to your friends.
How are you messing things up? Is that something you can correct? If you are overpromising things, then try to stop. If you are sabotaging things, figure out why and see how you can stop it.
It is not all about losing weight to get the girl. Many women are attracted to humor, personality, and confidence more than looks.
If you don't love yourself, how can you expect others?
it is hard to love your self when all you want to do is die
Time to go talk to your doctor to get help.
Work on you for now. You will meet someone great eventually.5 -
MRbigGUYXXL wrote: »sparklyglitterbomb wrote: »The first thing to work on is realizing your self-worth. Be confident in your sense of humor and your loyalty to your friends.
How are you messing things up? Is that something you can correct? If you are overpromising things, then try to stop. If you are sabotaging things, figure out why and see how you can stop it.
It is not all about losing weight to get the girl. Many women are attracted to humor, personality, and confidence more than looks.
If you don't love yourself, how can you expect others?
it is hard to love your self when all you want to do is die
i feel this i was once 300 pounds too and wanted to fall off a cliff 24/7 honestly
losing weight for me has not made that feeling go away completely tho so i would suggest therapy first
then start working on health
the thing about dating is if you just settle for whatever you will regret it and end up in *kitten* relationships just cause you are lonely , you dont deserve that focus on you right now
i know it looks really really bleak but make small goals for yourself and then just keep on going eventually you will feel better about yourself
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Dude, true story: Another dude got his divorce finalized and then found a dating site online and posted one message. 'This is my size, this is my income, I want a wife." 2 weeks later, he had a wife. She wasn't any more of a catch than he was, but she didn't care about him anyway.
That dude was over 400 lb.1 -
I've never asked a girl out & I'm 35. I met my wife online. I hate talking to people in public & always been conscious of how people see me. You will find someone just need to appreciate yourself more. Women will be more attracted to that than anything, manners & a good sense of humor. Some aren't like that though you lol. There's someone for everyone out there I believe. Don't think of you haven't found the right woman think the right woman hasn't found you. Best of luck mate & just enjoy time with your friends. It may take time but it'll happen3
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I got married at 326 pounds hommie. Confidence is key. When you love yourself, first. Others will follow.
Some girls like a big ole guy to take care of them.5 -
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Your pic has an EMT symbol - I'm assuming that is your job? Yes, getting healthier will help you be better at your job, but don't discount how important you are!
Looking at your profile, you're 20 years old and you've had steady weight loss success. I would recommend keep focusing on yourself, the rest will fall into place. Best of luck to you!4 -
Hit on 5 girls every day. If you can't do that, give 5 girls high fives on the street every day, if you can't do that then ask 5 girls for the time every day. If you can;t do that, then work on loving yourself a little6
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MRbigGUYXXL wrote: »sparklyglitterbomb wrote: »The first thing to work on is realizing your self-worth. Be confident in your sense of humor and your loyalty to your friends.
How are you messing things up? Is that something you can correct? If you are overpromising things, then try to stop. If you are sabotaging things, figure out why and see how you can stop it.
It is not all about losing weight to get the girl. Many women are attracted to humor, personality, and confidence more than looks.
If you don't love yourself, how can you expect others?
it is hard to love your self when all you want to do is dieMissusMoon wrote: »You need a therapist. You need one now. I am not being mean or dismissive. If you feel like this, you have issues both in your thinking and possibly brain chemistry that need to be addressed.
Please get some help.
Cosigned.2 -
Dude, get help. I've seen guys your size meet women and get married all because of their personality and confidence. The kind of things you said here won't put off any kind of confidence and getting laid like that is like trying to *kitten* Superman with a kryptonite condom.3
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Tinder?3
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If you base your worth by measurements of pounds, inches, dollars or the like you will never measure up.4
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It doesn't matter what you look like if you're a genuinely good guy; a girl will still fall for you☺️ I don't think you've met the right ones because looks really aren't that important (to the good girls I guess haha)2
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Mr. Big, my husband weighs 310 lb. This never stopped me. I was the one who initiated the relationship in fact. Groom yourself well, dress in clothes that look good and fit right. Cultivate your best personality features and conversational skills. You do not want a shallow woman who only cares about appearances. That type will make you miserable.
Edit for details: I'm an attractive woman with a Master's degree. So you see you don't have to settle for less. Husband grooms himself well, is intelligent, and is caring and hard working. His body fat did not factor into any of this and he did not have to settle for a woman who was unattractive, unintelligent, or anything like that.3 -
My one friend who was your size refused to look at any girl near his size. I was setting him up with women to date and they all had to be already in good shape.
Sp i'm just wondering if you're willing to approach females who also have a "few pounds to loose"?0 -
You don't need a relationship to validate your existence. You don't need to settle for any woman that comes your way to validate your existence. You could be in a relationship with Halle Berry and still feel like absolute *kitten* if you don't fix your mental state. A woman can not fix or make you love yourself if you're not willing to.
The first key is recognizing your worth and letting go of all that sadness. We all get depressed. We all have moments of weakness and self doubt. But the key to life is to not let that depression swallow you whole. If you can't let go of all that gloom and depression on your own talk to some REALLY GOOD friends, family members, or therapists.
Fix yourself up! I'm a firm believer that if someone looks good they feel good. Get yourself some nice duds. Groom yourself. And dress up daily. Make sure to check yourself out in the mirror! A LOT. You'll start noticing your best features that way and it'll make you happy!
Be a social butterfly! Do fun "workouts" ex. biking, swimming, ice skating, paint ball, dance dance revolution, sports, martial arts, or whatever gets you excited. The more you make friends that are into those things the more likely you are to go out and have fun "working out".
Since you'd also like to lose some weight, apart from fixing up your mental state your diet should be one of your main priorities. There are so many threads and blog posts on mfp and people you can add that'll put you on the right track!
Love yourself, value yourself, and always smile. Feel free to send me a request and a message if you ever need to chat! I really hope that you can pull yourself together!
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Hun it's baby steps at a time as people keep saying..
Work on your mental state and attitude.
Diet and exercise... Have a 12 week plan of these and chop and change. Mfp is great place to start to get some advice.
Hobbies... Like the poster above suggests do things that get you excited. But also something that will be beneficial to you.
Speed dating is also a fun way to start. Take a friend along...0
https://youtu.be/rKJp5xRVpJs
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