Weight Loss Seems Impossible

Hey guys, I need some advice I guess. I am in a situation where I am not the one buying the food in my house and I cannot buy it myself... long story, please let me spare the details.

I feel like it is impossible to lose weight because I cannot eat healthy, though I try to portion, the food is full of carbs and fat.

I have gym at my job and I currently only do 3-5 days a week 30 min at a time. I want to do more but I am always completely exhausted, partially from eating bad, partially because i cant sleep at night and i get up at 4am...

I am not always great at water intake but i'm getting there... Ive already had 5 going on 6 glasses of water today.

Has anyone had successful weight loss while unable to eat healthy?
Does anyone have any helpful tips?

I have lost all motivation and feel exhausted 24-7. I don't want mean to be full of excuses, but I am. :(
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Replies

  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
    malibu927 wrote: »
    Just eat less of the food that is there, or go shopping with the one who does the buying and pick out what you want. Carbs and fat aren't the problem unless they put you over your calorie goal.

    This^^

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10257474/starting-out-restarting-basics-inside/p1
  • dragon_girl26
    dragon_girl26 Posts: 2,187 Member
    edited June 2016
    Don't give up, OP. It isn't impossible! :) I've lost 80 lbs eating a lot of the same foods I always did; I just eat less of them. It isn't necessary to eat "healthy" to lose weight, though lower calorie foods does make it easier. All you need is a calorie deficit. Drinking plenty of water does at least help me feel fuller longer, though.
    Your exercise level sounds OK so far, though if you find a chance to do more, it certainly doesn't hurt anything. May I ask why the sleeplessness/ exhaustion though? Sounds like it's stressful enough to make this feel extra challenging for you. :(
  • solieco1
    solieco1 Posts: 1,559 Member
    You can't know what you're eating if you don't write it down. Log a solid week and figure out what our consuming.
  • daniip_la
    daniip_la Posts: 678 Member
    I feel like it is impossible to lose weight because I cannot eat healthy, though I try to portion, the food is full of carbs and fat.

    You can lose weight eating carbs and fat, neither of which are bad for you or impact weight loss unless you've got some type of insulin resistance.

    All you need to worry about is portion control. Eat within your MFP calorie limit of whatever food is available to you. I'm in the same general food situation, and I can attest that it works.

    If you're up early and unable to sleep, how about going for a walk if you're able? I do that, it helps wonders.
  • MelaniaTrump
    MelaniaTrump Posts: 2,694 Member
    I hope eventually you can move out.
    Even when I lived with my mom, I used to be able to buy groceries.
  • kirayng2
    kirayng2 Posts: 36 Member
    are you able to have a mini fridge and pick up fruit/veggies for yourself and keep them there? even some lean protein, yogurts and such would fit and then you can eat some lower calorie stuff with the meals you are having. a 1200 calorie diet you can have oatmeal +fruit for breakfast, salad with lean protein some nuts/seeds a little dressing, snack a yogurt/nuts/cheese/fruit combo not all four but a dairy/fruit, and dinner up to whoever is making it just keep the portions small.
  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
    I hope eventually you can move out.
    Even when I lived with my mom, I used to be able to buy groceries.

    Same here, and we took turns cooking and grocery shopping.

  • deerobseven
    deerobseven Posts: 31 Member
    Don't give up, OP. It isn't impossible! :) I've lost 80 lbs eating a lot of the same foods I always did; I just eat less of them. It isn't necessary to eat "healthy" to lose weight, though lower calorie foods does make it easier. All you need is a calorie deficit. Drinking plenty of water does at least help me feel fuller longer, though.
    Your exercise level sounds OK so far, though if you find a chance to do more, it certainly doesn't hurt anything. May I ask why the sleeplessness/ exhaustion though? Sounds like it's stressful enough to make this feel extra challenging for you. :(

    Its a mix of generally not being able to sleep and my husband being awake when i am trying to sleep. Im always exhausted during the day and wide awake at night, and it seems as though when I am tired at night there is always something that keeps me up. Feels like a losing battle trying to maintain any kind of sleep schedule.
  • deerobseven
    deerobseven Posts: 31 Member
    malibu927 wrote: »
    Just eat less of the food that is there, or go shopping with the one who does the buying and pick out what you want. Carbs and fat aren't the problem unless they put you over your calorie goal.

    Well, I would love to go shopping with my mother in law but Im at work when she does and im sure she wouldnt be very receptive to "Can you buy something you dont want to eat so i can eat it, even though im not buying it?" LOL! I am trying to just be appreciative with what she provides. Im def working on portioning for sure. It is tough remaining under the calorie goal but im trying to at least hover close to it. Thank you for that! :smiley:
  • deerobseven
    deerobseven Posts: 31 Member
    Perhaps focusing on the things that you can control will help you, ie: levels of stress and your lack of sleep.

    Make sure you put in place all the steps you can to ensure good sleep hygiene so exhaustion is not plaguing you. Maybe cut down on some of the gym time and take up walking or yoga and incorporate meditation into your day, something anything that can give you pleasure and a bit of Zen time to relieve the stress.

    I am not sure whether the 4 am wake up is for work/gym or due to your poor sleep but again try any thing you can to ensure you do get adequate good quality sleep. Google has some really good tips but if you are struggling with chronic insomnia please seek a Drs. advice, believe me lack of sleep makes everything seem much darker and impossible.

    Great job with the water, keep going with that as it is always a good thing to be well hydrated.

    As others have said it is still possible to lose weight while not eating 'healthy' foods - if the foods you are eating aren't providing you with adequate nutrition - then look into taking a good quality supplement to help.

    You mention that you are practicing portion control, are you using scales as well?? That may help you feel more in control of the situation.

    Could you approach the person who is doing the food buying and ask if they would be willing to purchase something that you would find appealing ie: a bag of apples, oranges or other multi packs of fruit, perhaps those bagged frozen veggies in a bulk amount could be bought?? I suggest this as they would hopefully not find them too expensive and you could portion them out over the buying time and at least have something that you find gives you more nutritional bang for your buck.

    I wish you all the best.

    Hello,

    So the lack of sleep is partially insomnia related and part my husband being up during my sleep time... not really willing to leave the room . -____- Its def not ideal for being well rested. I dont start work until 9 am but my husband currently has to drop me off at work on his way in so im generally at work by 4:30am the gym opens at 5am. Sometimes I workout, sometimes im too exhausted so i just shower and get ready for the day. And even then I cant nap. :(

    Water is no problem for me, im ALWAYS thirsty LOL! I also get in the free green tea they provide at my job. (The real stuff, not Lipton.) I have some protein shake i use to supplement for some meals and help me get at least some of what I need.

    I dont have scales, I guess im not even familiar with them, hmm....

    And, last but not least, its my mother in law doing the shopping, and wonderful as she may be, when it comes to food shes getting what she wants and thats pretty much it... I mean, it is her money so I cant really be that upset, after all shes helping me not starve to death LOL! And, any time I was able to buy healthier foods that somehow ended up gone too... no one else buys it but they all want to eat it. (There are 7 people in my home) **sigh**

    Im trying to stick to some sort of portion control though.
  • carmkizzle
    carmkizzle Posts: 211 Member
    Perhaps focusing on the things that you can control will help you, ie: levels of stress and your lack of sleep.

    Make sure you put in place all the steps you can to ensure good sleep hygiene so exhaustion is not plaguing you. Maybe cut down on some of the gym time and take up walking or yoga and incorporate meditation into your day, something anything that can give you pleasure and a bit of Zen time to relieve the stress.

    I am not sure whether the 4 am wake up is for work/gym or due to your poor sleep but again try any thing you can to ensure you do get adequate good quality sleep. Google has some really good tips but if you are struggling with chronic insomnia please seek a Drs. advice, believe me lack of sleep makes everything seem much darker and impossible.

    Great job with the water, keep going with that as it is always a good thing to be well hydrated.

    As others have said it is still possible to lose weight while not eating 'healthy' foods - if the foods you are eating aren't providing you with adequate nutrition - then look into taking a good quality supplement to help.

    You mention that you are practicing portion control, are you using scales as well?? That may help you feel more in control of the situation.

    Could you approach the person who is doing the food buying and ask if they would be willing to purchase something that you would find appealing ie: a bag of apples, oranges or other multi packs of fruit, perhaps those bagged frozen veggies in a bulk amount could be bought?? I suggest this as they would hopefully not find them too expensive and you could portion them out over the buying time and at least have something that you find gives you more nutritional bang for your buck.

    I wish you all the best.

    Hello,

    So the lack of sleep is partially insomnia related and part my husband being up during my sleep time... not really willing to leave the room . -____- Its def not ideal for being well rested. I dont start work until 9 am but my husband currently has to drop me off at work on his way in so im generally at work by 4:30am the gym opens at 5am. Sometimes I workout, sometimes im too exhausted so i just shower and get ready for the day. And even then I cant nap. :(

    Water is no problem for me, im ALWAYS thirsty LOL! I also get in the free green tea they provide at my job. (The real stuff, not Lipton.) I have some protein shake i use to supplement for some meals and help me get at least some of what I need.

    I dont have scales, I guess im not even familiar with them, hmm....

    And, last but not least, its my mother in law doing the shopping, and wonderful as she may be, when it comes to food shes getting what she wants and thats pretty much it... I mean, it is her money so I cant really be that upset, after all shes helping me not starve to death LOL! And, any time I was able to buy healthier foods that somehow ended up gone too... no one else buys it but they all want to eat it. (There are 7 people in my home) **sigh**

    Im trying to stick to some sort of portion control though.


    Do you wake that early with him in order to go to the gym at work to work out OR because you actually need a ride to work first and foremost? How long have you been doing this? This doesn't seem like an ideal situation at all and would get old very fast.

    Also, you're more than likely eating way more than you think. If you don't have a food scale and don't know how much of something you're actually eating, then weight loss can feel impossible. You can get a food scale for $10 (at minimum) and start to weigh your food in grams. Do a little research to find out how many calories different grams of food has. And you can also just read the food label - it will tell you how many grams a serving is and how many calories that particular serving has.
  • cwang125
    cwang125 Posts: 76 Member
    edited June 2016
    Chronic sleep deprivation is inhibitive on weight loss. - http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC535701/
    You need to find some way to get enough sleep. Your body repairs itself while you sleep. Getting enough sleep is very important not only for weight loss but overall health.

    Regular exercise is good, however for long term weight loss goals a proper diet is paramount. To achieve weight loss you will need to track your intake and eat at a caloric deficit.

    If you jog for an hour every day and burn say 400 calories but then go consume a 400 calorie snack afterwards then you've achieved nothing. You'll spin your wheels.

    Even if you are consuming "healthy" foods, if you eat more than you expend in a day you can still gain weight. So the first thing you need to do is track your intake and you need to make sure it's accurate. Then create some meal plans that you can stick to. Plan out your meals ahead of time so that you're not impulse eating.
  • deerobseven
    deerobseven Posts: 31 Member
    dlkfox wrote: »
    I checked your diary, and you haven't been logging consistently. That's where you need to start. Logging accurately and consistently is the only way you're going to be able to determine that you are eating at a deficit.

    The good news is that it's not the food you eat, it's the quantity (calories). It is easier when you can make your own food choices, but it can be done with portion control.

    Most def working on that consistent logging. I don't always get it in but I am always watching it. Its much easier at work because I'm at my desk and just input it. I do have the app but my phone is a POS so it overheats a bunch and it doesn't really like apps, once i can get a new phone that weekends will def be easier to log.

    Sounds like through you and several others that tweaking my portioning a little could help. I do want to add this though:

    Last year i at boiled eggs and fruit for breakfast, large salads with lean meats and fat free dressings for lunch and light soups for dinner. No fatty foods at all, no breads, supplemented with protein shakes, took weight loss supplements and worked out 5 days a week 45min to an hour a day... for 2 months... and the only change i saw was more energy... no weight loss, my clothes were still just as tight and i didn't seem to be toning at all.... i was doing cardio, strength training and resistance training, etc ... i was drinking plenty of water and green tea.

    Could it be hormonal/thyroid or the lack of sleep? Any other theories?

    A little background:
    I was 125lbs size 3-5 pants, and still developing at 18. When i was 20 I was steadily at 145lbs, becoming a woman and slowing my growth, size 7-9 pants (wide hips, thin waist)... then I got pregnant. My daughter.... when i had my daughter i was 192lbs... lost most of the weight breastfeeding and walking... got down to about 155lbs... and then, I stopped breastfeeding and my weight sky rocketed without changing any other habits... ate the same, walked the same, etc. My weight continues to climb regardless.... I am now 205... and not happy at all... size 18 jeans are getting small and my daughter is now 5. :(
  • carmkizzle
    carmkizzle Posts: 211 Member
    Also, try to make small changes. Don't worry about "healthier" foods. You don't have to eat lettuce, brown rice and chicken all the time for weight loss - all you need is to consume less calories than you burn. Trying to do too much at once is extremely overwhelming and can set you up for failure. When you all can move out on your own and become settled, then you can control what you cook and eat. But in the meantime, don't stress yourself over what you deem to be "bad" foods. You're doing good in trying to practice portion control, but you still need a better idea of how much you're eating because you will be surprised once you start to weigh food.
  • xmichaelyx
    xmichaelyx Posts: 883 Member
    Don't get hung up on "healthy" foods. You can lose weight eating nothing but Twinkie's or McDonalds. A good food scale is $12.
  • deerobseven
    deerobseven Posts: 31 Member
    kirayng2 wrote: »
    are you able to have a mini fridge and pick up fruit/veggies for yourself and keep them there? even some lean protein, yogurts and such would fit and then you can eat some lower calorie stuff with the meals you are having. a 1200 calorie diet you can have oatmeal +fruit for breakfast, salad with lean protein some nuts/seeds a little dressing, snack a yogurt/nuts/cheese/fruit combo not all four but a dairy/fruit, and dinner up to whoever is making it just keep the portions small.

    **sigh** I have a mini fridge but I am not financially able to buy much of anything right now... we've had such bad luck with our car and the bills are piling up even with help. Only thing Ive been able to get is protein shake which only supplements, and its a lean protein shake not the body mass building kind lol!
  • cwang125
    cwang125 Posts: 76 Member
    xmichaelyx wrote: »
    Don't get hung up on "healthy" foods. You can lose weight eating nothing but Twinkie's or McDonalds. A good food scale is $12.

    This is true. However, if you do eat primarily junk or fast foods, you probably should take some vitamin supplements as you'd probably be deficient in some of the micronutrients that are important.
  • deerobseven
    deerobseven Posts: 31 Member
    I hope eventually you can move out.
    Even when I lived with my mom, I used to be able to buy groceries.

    Same here, and we took turns cooking and grocery shopping.

    Man I cook and clean but I cant grocery shop right now for financial reasons... BTW you guys... they live with me in my house, we just fell on a temporary hard time early this year. I promise im not a bum.... :neutral:
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,148 Member
    It's going to be rude, but I feel if you get your sleep down you'll do better with everything else, which means talking to hubby about being in the room when you need to sleep. I'm not sure if he's there to be with you or there's no other "private" place (I live with my ILs so I understand about lack of privacy) for him to hang out. I had to ask my husband to stop coming to bed with me because his snoring keeps me from falling asleep.

    I sympathize with you. I'm in a similar living situation. Hope things work out better.
  • deerobseven
    deerobseven Posts: 31 Member
    carmkizzle wrote: »
    Also, try to make small changes. Don't worry about "healthier" foods. You don't have to eat lettuce, brown rice and chicken all the time for weight loss - all you need is to consume less calories than you burn. Trying to do too much at once is extremely overwhelming and can set you up for failure. When you all can move out on your own and become settled, then you can control what you cook and eat. But in the meantime, don't stress yourself over what you deem to be "bad" foods. You're doing good in trying to practice portion control, but you still need a better idea of how much you're eating because you will be surprised once you start to weigh food.

    Well, I most def have to wake up that early to get to work. He has be to at dock by 5 and hes my only ride since our other car was totaled.

    Ill look into the food scale but no promises with the finances like they are. I def read the labels, that helps alot with the fat content and calories as well as knowing what a portion is.

    Im sure this will all be much easier with a second car and when the bills and debts are caught up, im just ready for a change now.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,741 Member
    I hope things turn around for you soon because it sounds like your current living situation is the actual problem. And I agree 100% with @zyxst that getting enough sleep is crucial for your health.

    As far as what you did before: "Last year i at boiled eggs and fruit for breakfast, large salads with lean meats and fat free dressings for lunch and light soups for dinner. No fatty foods at all, no breads, supplemented with protein shakes, took weight loss supplements and worked out 5 days a week 45min to an hour a day... for 2 months." Fat free food is generally unsatisfying and loaded with sugar and/or sodium. Don't try to go fat free.

    Weight loss supplements are a HUGE waste of money and can cause health problems, not fix them. Don't bother trying to buy those again, either.

    If possible, buy a food scale and just start learning proper portion sizes. That's all you need to do right now. Don't overwhelm yourself with all the other details.

    Is there anything you can do about NOT getting up @ 4:30 AM and wait around until 9:00AM for work? Where do you wait?
  • Psychgrrl
    Psychgrrl Posts: 3,177 Member
    As others have said, weighing food is important. Digital food scales are cheap. You can gain weight eating the healthiest of healthy food. And you can lose weight eating high carb/high fat. It really comes down to staying within your calorie limit. It's really scary how small actual serving sizes are. :disappointed: You'll be floored. Weigh everything, even if it seems like it comes in it's own serving (eggs, bread, protein bars, etc.)

    Figure out your BMR (Basic Metabolic Rate) and TDEE (Total Daily Energy Expenditure). These numbers help you figure out your calorie deficit to lose weight. Your BMR is the basic number of calories your body needs to sustain itself (brain function, heart beat, breathing). This number will lower as you lose weight. TDEE is how many calories you burn each daily including your daily activity like walking (do you have an active or sedentary job or somewhere in between?) and exercise. Subtract 500 calories a day from your TDEE to lose a pound per week. This number needs to be adjusted as you lose weight as well. You can visit Scooby to calculate these numbers: http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/

    Your m-i-l sounds really supportive. Have you ever asked her, directly asked her--not hinted, about buying some healthier food? You might be surprised by the answer. What do you have to lose by asking? If she says, "Nah," you won't be any worse off than you are now. If other people eat up the healthy stuff when you have bought it, obviously there's a desire in the house for it.

    If you need context, find some healthy recipes online with affordable/bulk/in-season ingredients and ask your m-i-l to buy them so you can cook for her and the family as a thank you for keeping you from starving. :blush: You might get her/them to start liking the healthier options and m-i-l might start buying that stuff herself. Bonus--you might be able to take leftovers to work.

    As for the sleep. That's tough. Something has to give. I have two jobs and work out every day. My choice. So I do not get enough sleep some days. I make the choice to make up for it other days (naps on weekends). Or I cut the workout, or don't get everything done at my online job I want to. Or I spend less time with friends. You can choose to go the bed earlier a couple days a week, if your partner is getting up that early, chances are he might be hitting the hay early, too. More couple time before you drift off! :heart:

    You have more control than you think you do. Of course, it's easy for us to say that, we're not you. Though, it's also easier for us to make suggestions because we're not in the middle of the situation. You can do this even if no one wants to come along with you for the ride. :blush:
  • mom22dogs
    mom22dogs Posts: 470 Member
    Protein shakes are usually kind of expensive. Maybe swap out some fruit/vegetables or some chicken in place of it and take a multivitamin? But it all comes down to portion control. You can eat the "healthiest" foods but if you still eat more calories than you burn, you will not lose weight. And you can eat a whole lot of calories in a relatively small amount of food. Last Friday we had a program at work, and brought pizza in for 45 people. I ate 2 pieces of pizza which wasn't very filling - I was hungry again a few hours later. Ate a rice crispy bar as a snack. Tracked it later after the program - almost 1000 calories between the pizza and rice crispy treat. And I hadn't eaten supper yet. I was double my calories for the day because of the pizza. (Learned that pizza is not a good choice for me - not filling enough and way too many calories).
  • deerobseven
    deerobseven Posts: 31 Member
    cwang125 wrote: »
    Chronic sleep deprivation is inhibitive on weight loss. - http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC535701/
    You need to find some way to get enough sleep. Your body repairs itself while you sleep. Getting enough sleep is very important not only for weight loss but overall health.

    Regular exercise is good, however for long term weight loss goals a proper diet is paramount. To achieve weight loss you will need to track your intake and eat at a caloric deficit.

    If you jog for an hour every day and burn say 400 calories but then go consume a 400 calorie snack afterwards then you've achieved nothing. You'll spin your wheels.

    Even if you are consuming "healthy" foods, if you eat more than you expend in a day you can still gain weight. So the first thing you need to do is track your intake and you need to make sure it's accurate. Then create some meal plans that you can stick to. Plan out your meals ahead of time so that you're not impulse eating.

    Yes, i know the sleep thing is probably causing alot of it.. i get 4-5 hours a night m-f. Id have to see the other part is not being able to eat better. If I could eat healthier I could eat more and remain full longer, but I am stuck with fatter carb and calorie filled foods that leave me hungry within an hour of eating... because i have to eat less. Its like turning in circles and never taking a step forward.

    I cant wait until all this financial mess is over and done with...
  • deerobseven
    deerobseven Posts: 31 Member
    zyxst wrote: »
    It's going to be rude, but I feel if you get your sleep down you'll do better with everything else, which means talking to hubby about being in the room when you need to sleep. I'm not sure if he's there to be with you or there's no other "private" place (I live with my ILs so I understand about lack of privacy) for him to hang out. I had to ask my husband to stop coming to bed with me because his snoring keeps me from falling asleep.

    I sympathize with you. I'm in a similar living situation. Hope things work out better.

    YES LOL! The privacy keeps me in the room as well as him... that is a huge issue. They moved in with us so we can get a bigger place and keep an eye on them as they are getting older, we were supposed to split bills and have split bills, but the financial issues came soon there after... so they stayed to help out and we are forever greatful, its just a sticky situation.
  • WBB55
    WBB55 Posts: 4,131 Member
    If you had a food allergy to peanuts, would you feel bad asking your in laws to purchase a few foods here or there that don't have peanuts? Or would that also seem out of the question to you?

    I'm not you, I don't know the family dynamics, but asking for a few particular items isn't being ungrateful. They may be proud of you for having the humility to admit there's something specific you need in order to be healthy during this difficult period in your life.
  • iecreamheadaches
    iecreamheadaches Posts: 441 Member
    I eat not "healthy" foods often myself and I'm down 25 lbs on my way to 100 so far.

    I just eat less of them than I used to so I can stay in calorie goal for the day and bam. look at me go!

    it can be done, just try to monitor it a little better or see if you can get whoever shops to pick you up a few healthy options. Fresh fruits and veggies often arent that expensive and frozen are cheap as well.