Neighborhood walking...safety
sweetad
Posts: 28 Member
I started walking around two blocks every am. I love the way I feel when I do, but my dh is afraid for my safety and doesnt want me to do it. I'm only walking about 15 min. What am I suppose to do? I need to walk! I dont feel threatened..and I believe I'm careful and aware.
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Replies
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Can he go with you? Maybe if he goes at least once and sees it's safe, he won't be as afraid.2
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Have him get you some pepper spray or a stun gun...or better yet get a CCW!3
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I've lived in some pretty sketchy areas and have rarely felt fearful of walking around alone, even at night. I'm not sure if that's a good thing, or bad, but I've never had a problem.
Are you in a rough neighbourhood? Have you taken a self-defense class, or martial art of some sort? Maybe that could help hubby feel better about it. I usually take something with pointed edges on it, like keys, or my dogs.1 -
My top tip - rehearse it. There's a reason that pilots practice emergency situations and have checklists to go to for each eventuality.
Sounds weird but my DH and I have practiced what happens if I feel threatened or, worst case, grabbed, both verbally and physically. The idea is to prepare a mental procedure, that is so ingrained that it will "click on" if I get into one of those situations. It goes something like this
1. awareness/"spidey sense" triggered
2. Get situational awareness (remove headphones, pull down hood, etc)
2. Quickly analyse and risk assess situation (glance at threat, consider subject behaviour, mannerisms, etc)
3. Look around for safe spaces - pub, coffee shop, passing car, passing people, bus, etc. Start mentally flagging the environment
4. Become unpredictable, cross road if safe and re-analyse situation
5. Move towards safe space - even if that is taking you away from home!
6. Start preparing for physical contact. Visualise a punch, even prepare hands (increases projected confidence)
7. Continue moving towards safe space - escalate if necessary (flag down a car, alert a pedestrian, consider knocking on a house door if people seen inside or lights on)
8. In worst case scenario, initiate physical contact only if you can be sure you can do it cleanly. It's worth practicing getting an elbow into a head or jerking free - ask DH to help with this if he feels comfortable.
I have to be honest, I've never got beyond 6, but I credit some of that to the confidence that the procedure gives me and my self-belief that everything is going to be OK. Essentially, all I need to do is make myself look like too much of an effort compared to another target.7 -
tiny_clanger wrote: »My top tip - rehearse it. There's a reason that pilots practice emergency situations and have checklists to go to for each eventuality.
Sounds weird but my DH and I have practiced what happens if I feel threatened or, worst case, grabbed, both verbally and physically. The idea is to prepare a mental procedure, that is so ingrained that it will "click on" if I get into one of those situations. It goes something like this
1. awareness/"spidey sense" triggered
2. Get situational awareness (remove headphones, pull down hood, etc)
2. Quickly analyse and risk assess situation (glance at threat, consider subject behaviour, mannerisms, etc)
3. Look around for safe spaces - pub, coffee shop, passing car, passing people, bus, etc. Start mentally flagging the environment
4. Become unpredictable, cross road if safe and re-analyse situation
5. Move towards safe space - even if that is taking you away from home!
6. Start preparing for physical contact. Visualise a punch, even prepare hands (increases projected confidence)
7. Continue moving towards safe space - escalate if necessary (flag down a car, alert a pedestrian, consider knocking on a house door if people seen inside or lights on)
8. In worst case scenario, initiate physical contact only if you can be sure you can do it cleanly. It's worth practicing getting an elbow into a head or jerking free - ask DH to help with this if he feels comfortable.
I have to be honest, I've never got beyond 6, but I credit some of that to the confidence that the procedure gives me and my self-belief that everything is going to be OK. Essentially, all I need to do is make myself look like too much of an effort compared to another target.
I like this! I did have one situation a couple weeks back where I felt uncomfortable leaving work. Someone had changed his direction and was walking behind me (inner city 10pm). I called a friend and was talking with him until I reached my car. The guy wasn't behind be for too long after I got on the phone. It was likely a coincidence, but when that sense goes off, don't ignore it!2 -
See the phone thing can work both ways. It's great as you're alerting someone that you feel threatened, but dangerous in that it removes some of your situational awareness and makes you feel more vulnerable. I'd consider incorporating a short call into step 5, but only if the benefit outweighs the risk - if I can quickly communicate where I am and there are no safer spaces nearby. Prioritise getting somewhere safe, then communicate the risk.
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These are optional.
Get a big walking stick
Pepper spray (check local laws)
Stun gun (check local laws)
Hand gun (check local laws and only if you are 100% comfortable with the possibilities of what could happen)
Take a self defense class
Highly recommend.
Get a map and show him your route.
Always have your phone with you.
No head phones in
No hoods or hats that may impeded sight when looking around.
Have somewhere(s) you can go into if think there's an issue. Friends house or business.2 -
What is your neighborhood like? Crime can happen anywhere but let's be realistic--some places are safer than others.1
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Can you walk with a friend? Can hubby walk with you? 'm in a very small city and do walk at night-but only up well lit street, rest of the time I walk a public path by the creek.1
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I started walking around two blocks every am. I love the way I feel when I do, but my dh is afraid for my safety and doesnt want me to do it. I'm only walking about 15 min. What am I suppose to do? I need to walk! I dont feel threatened..and I believe I'm careful and aware.
Do you live in a bad area or have a medical condition or heavy traffic or something? What does he think will happen to you?
Does your dh have anxiety issues? I'd talk to him about it.
I live in a pretty safe area in terms of crime but there are few sidewalks. I don't think my dh would be concerned about me being going just a couple of blocks. We walk together though and go to a paved walking path near the school or to the school track.2 -
My DH worries about me too, especially as I usually exercise early in the morning... but I go anyway
I do take precautions like choosing my route to suit the conditions. eg. right now it's winter, so I run on the footpath next to busier roads where there are street lights and people, whereas in summer I will walk the shady back streets and say g'day to all the dog walkers and retirees who are out and about too.
If it's a particularly dark/gloomy/foggy day, I have a flashing light that I wear on the back of my cap so I'm more visible. I also wear high vis stuff (eg fluro pink jacket or white shirt) when it's dark out so the cars and cyclists can see me.
I do pay attention to the local news and as there is one suburb north of me that has had a few crimes recently, I don't walk the back streets there any more. I go in a different direction, or stick to the main road that has bus stops, people and a fair bit of traffic.
I also carry my phone and keeps my eyes open. I do listen to books or music, but have a headset which doesn't block out the surrounding noises.
Basically, I think it comes down to evaluating your environment... if there is a high crime rate or you have a solid reason for feeling unsafe then he probably has a point. If it's more general worry, then you have lots of good tips above.1 -
I also experienced this, somewhat, just yesterday morning when a police officer stopped me and told me it was not safe to walk at dawn in my neighborhood. We live in the country and I think it was a visibilty and traffic issue more than anything as he advised me to stick to the side roads. The only problem is it takes 10 minutes to walk on a heavily traveled road to get to the country lane. I begin at dawn, and I do wear reflective clothing.
In the beginning I was more worried about dogs than people, but I have grown braver, and learned the dogs are more bark than bite. I was also inhibited about being so visible and being evaluated. But I got over that too, with the growing sense of well-being that comes from feeling healthier.
Suggestion: could your husband walk with you until he feels reassured about your safety, and you BOTH become more comfortable with your route.
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I live in Australia so don't have the safety issue thing. I do over 20,000 steps a day, around 15kms without leaving home. I just hate walking around the streets, i feel self conscience for some reason.
I have a huge yard with 2 side gates on either side of the house, so I do 20 lap blocks all throughout the day. One block takes around 20 minutes.1 -
So, this is walking 15 minutes in the couple of blocks around your house? In your own neighborhood? Not in a wooded area with no houses?
Unless you live in a dangerous area, that's really no different in my mind than sitting on your front porch.3 -
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DresdenSinn wrote: »Have him get you some pepper spray or a stun gun...or better yet get a CCW!
And then leave them at home.
Or, if he's so afraid, sell the house and move somewhere safer. He obviously think you live in a bad neighborhood2 -
I go to the park I sometimes meet up with other walkers sometimes I just take the path myself. Always follow your gut and you'll be fine. I have gone to the park and have walked it all alone and have gotten there and had an odd feeling and gone back home. Just believe in that inner feeling and it won't steer you wrong.1
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scorpio516 wrote: »DresdenSinn wrote: »Have him get you some pepper spray or a stun gun...or better yet get a CCW!
And then leave them at home.
Or, if he's so afraid, sell the house and move somewhere safer. He obviously think you live in a bad neighborhood
Defeats the purpose of them.
Being able to protect yourself is cheaper. And crime happens everywhere.1 -
I live in a "bad" neighborhood with a fairly high crime rate. There are some things you can do. In my case, I stay on very well-traveled streets and avoid running very early or late.
Take a self-defense class (maybe with your husband) so he can see that you're capable of protecting yourself as much as possible.
Carry pepper spray if you feel comfortable with it. Practice spraying a few times and test it regularly.
Make sure someone knows your general route and how long you plan to be out.
Leave headphones or earbuds at home (or one ear only). Be aware of who is around you.
Don't carry any additional valuables with you. ID, house key, and phone.
Be confident and carry yourself well.
If you feel like something is wrong, leave immediately or get someone on the phone. Start talking to a neighbor or fellow exerciser and act like you're friends. Make it clear that you belong there and people will notice if you're harassed, even if it's an act.1 -
I have hand held pepper spray that I bought from a sports store, it's specifically made for people/women for walking/running and makes me feel safer in the area that I work in. I don't use it at home unless I'm feeling particularly paranoid, lol.1
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scorpio516 wrote: »DresdenSinn wrote: »Have him get you some pepper spray or a stun gun...or better yet get a CCW!
And then leave them at home.
Or, if he's so afraid, sell the house and move somewhere safer. He obviously think you live in a bad neighborhood
Defeats the purpose of them.
Being able to protect yourself is cheaper. And crime happens everywhere.
The only purpose of them is to appease her husband. They aren't for safety, she's already "safe". Did you miss that part?
It's an irrational request. There are four ways to deal with it:
1 - Take his advice. Get a gun to go walking a block from home. Your place is in the kitchen anyway, he's got to be right, he's a man.
2 - Play along. Get the gun. Leave it at home. Humor him
3 - Find out what's wrong with him
4 - Teach him he's wrong.
People have given opinions for all these choices already.1 -
I started walking around two blocks every am. I love the way I feel when I do, but my dh is afraid for my safety and doesnt want me to do it. I'm only walking about 15 min. What am I suppose to do? I need to walk! I dont feel threatened..and I believe I'm careful and aware.
do you have a dog? a big, mean looking dog? if you don't have one, do you have a neighbor that has a dog you can take with you on your walks? my dog isn't mean, but she has a loud bark2 -
I would personally be afraid of my husband if he didn't want me to walk two blocks...If he's not controlling generally, that's irrationally paranoid and my personal experience with that has been extremely disturbing. But that's me, your situation could be completely different so:
Could he just walk with you? Time together, both get exercise, go for longer walks, win-win.
Or go with a friend or neighbor, walk together.
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I started walking around two blocks every am. I love the way I feel when I do, but my dh is afraid for my safety and doesnt want me to do it. I'm only walking about 15 min. What am I suppose to do? I need to walk! I dont feel threatened..and I believe I'm careful and aware.
If you don't live in a war zone and don't feel threatened, then go for your perfectly reasonable 15 minute walk. 2 -
scorpio516 wrote: »scorpio516 wrote: »DresdenSinn wrote: »Have him get you some pepper spray or a stun gun...or better yet get a CCW!
And then leave them at home.
Or, if he's so afraid, sell the house and move somewhere safer. He obviously think you live in a bad neighborhood
Defeats the purpose of them.
Being able to protect yourself is cheaper. And crime happens everywhere.
The only purpose of them is to appease her husband. They aren't for safety, she's already "safe". Did you miss that part?
It's an irrational request. There are four ways to deal with it:
1 - Take his advice. Get a gun to go walking a block from home. Your place is in the kitchen anyway, he's got to be right, he's a man.
2 - Play along. Get the gun. Leave it at home. Humor him
3 - Find out what's wrong with him
4 - Teach him he's wrong.
People have given opinions for all these choices already.
It's not irrational at all.
Sorry I've known too many people who said they were safe and turns out they were wrong. Maybe I'm just too jumpy now. If you feel safe go for it. I personally don't always carry. But I've been lucky and always carrying when I do run into someone on my walks.0 -
Do you both have smartphones? There's an app called Companion that lets them watch you as you walk, and will alert them if you start running/get off course/if your headphones come out of your phone/if it seems like you've fallen.0
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Do you have a dog?0
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Pepper Spray, Wasp Spray, Tazer, Stun Gun, legally carry a gun. Hire a Boeing AH64 Helicopter to follow you around. Or have a set of fast movers on standby from your local base. Also make sure to give them your location in case they have to make it Rain Freedom on some sorry folks.
Don't forget your IR blinker so those the eyes in they skies won't hit you. Those AC130s pack a serious ton punch.0 -
scorpio516 wrote: »scorpio516 wrote: »DresdenSinn wrote: »Have him get you some pepper spray or a stun gun...or better yet get a CCW!
And then leave them at home.
Or, if he's so afraid, sell the house and move somewhere safer. He obviously think you live in a bad neighborhood
Defeats the purpose of them.
Being able to protect yourself is cheaper. And crime happens everywhere.
The only purpose of them is to appease her husband. They aren't for safety, she's already "safe". Did you miss that part?
It's an irrational request. There are four ways to deal with it:
1 - Take his advice. Get a gun to go walking a block from home. Your place is in the kitchen anyway, he's got to be right, he's a man.
2 - Play along. Get the gun. Leave it at home. Humor him
3 - Find out what's wrong with him
4 - Teach him he's wrong.
People have given opinions for all these choices already.
It's not irrational at all.
Sorry I've known too many people who said they were safe and turns out they were wrong. Maybe I'm just too jumpy now. If you feel safe go for it. I personally don't always carry. But I've been lucky and always carrying when I do run into someone on my walks.
What would you do if guns were illegal to carry, and pretty much to own, like they are here? Hell, even pepper spray is illegal in Australia.3 -
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