Dating is tough

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  • lizzyluvs_life
    lizzyluvs_life Posts: 108 Member
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    Ive recently started online dating maybe in the last months. Its overwhelming. Lots of people who start of great on the first chat end up being all pervy and wanting way to much. It's hard to find the good ones. I've been going on dates with someone I met online It's going ok. Just getting to know each other.

    I'm a chubby girl so it's like I assume people will think I'm catfishing them lol so I over think it and make sure to post pics from all angles hahahahahha. I dread that moment of someone thinking I tricked them though it has not happened. I think I just freak out to much. Dating is hard
  • SisterSueGetsFit
    SisterSueGetsFit Posts: 1,211 Member
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    lizzyluvs_life wrote: »
    Ive recently started online dating maybe in the last months. Its overwhelming. Lots of people who start of great on the first chat end up being all pervy and wanting way to much. It's hard to find the good ones. I've been going on dates with someone I met online It's going ok. Just getting to know each other.

    I'm a chubby girl so it's like I assume people will think I'm catfishing them lol so I over think it and make sure to post pics from all angles hahahahahha. I dread that moment of someone thinking I tricked them though it has not happened. I think I just freak out to much. Dating is hard

    You're beautiful, be kind to yourself and be confident. Dating is tough. : ):smile: God Speed, girl.
  • Stakmaster
    Stakmaster Posts: 15 Member
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    I've begun trying online dating recently as well and it is complicated. First and foremost, at least for me, your confidence has to be in a dating mindset mode. As far as MFP is concerned I've lost about 80-90 pounds but altogether it's something like 150-160 and growing up that big really does a number on your self worth which is kind of important when you're trying to date someone. I haven't gone on any dates yet but I am extremely nervous not only that they won't find me attractive (I've tried to be as realistic as possible in my photos) but also that I won't say the right things or that I'll make them feel uncomfortable. Again, being so overweight for so long makes you doubt everything about yourself, even in the areas you know you are fine in.

    I guess I'll have more information once I go on some dates (Not to mention I've never been on a date in my life, either) but I do understand your frustrations in my own ways. Can't give up though, right? Good luck.

  • vlland
    vlland Posts: 55 Member
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    I have dated online off/on for years and managed a couple of serious relationships during that time. Yes I had my share of frustrations but in the end I still think it's the easiest way to meet others. My current bf and I met online only to find out later-we actually went to elementary school together! (small world :)). I found the most success meeting others on Match and POF(free). I also recommend meeting sooner than later and for a quick first date (like coffee) to see if there is chemistry. In other words, don't waste too much time/energy/money unless you feel there could be a match.
  • DeficitDuchess
    DeficitDuchess Posts: 3,099 Member
    edited June 2016
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    For me it was impossible, I had been on various dating websites; for nearly 2 1/2 years & didn't even have 1 date but I also have a debilitating disability, don't work & am overweight. None of the men were, just seeking a nice personality & that's all I had to offer. A few women though, took an interest in me but unfortunately I'm not attracted to women.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,182 Member
    edited June 2016
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    I have zero to offer from personal experience. My daughter, who is now 29, has been married 5+ years to a man she seems quite pleased with. They met online. I do not know the name of the site. She described her criteria for him as being similar to his for her, that they each be 'sufficiently boring'.
  • LiftingRiot
    LiftingRiot Posts: 6,952 Member
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    Yes dating is tough. You should try to meet men on mfp. The only way to do it
  • lizzyluvs_life
    lizzyluvs_life Posts: 108 Member
    edited June 2016
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    rchlthompson wrote: »
    lizzyluvs_life wrote: »
    Ive recently started online dating maybe in the last months. Its overwhelming. Lots of people who start of great on the first chat end up being all pervy and wanting way to much. It's hard to find the good ones. I've been going on dates with someone I met online It's going ok. Just getting to know each other.

    I'm a chubby girl so it's like I assume people will think I'm catfishing them lol so I over think it and make sure to post pics from all angles hahahahahha. I dread that moment of someone thinking I tricked them though it has not happened. I think I just freak out to much. Dating is hard

    You're beautiful, be kind to yourself and be confident. Dating is tough. : ):smile: God Speed, girl.

    So sweet :smiley: yes I'm working on my confidence things are getting better. I got out of a crappy two year relationship were I felt ignored or not sufficient so now I'm like crap let me over compensate and be upfront about things It's weird. I'm learning though that online dating can be fun. I just set my limits and if I see red flags I'm out.
  • JessicaJS23
    JessicaJS23 Posts: 1,863 Member
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    Villae81 wrote: »
    If dating is tough try being married lol

    Are y'all like roommates?
  • cgvet37
    cgvet37 Posts: 1,189 Member
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    I have not really dated since my divorce. I have the attitude of, if I meet someone cool, if not, life goes on. A lot of Women my age have kids. I like kids, but it can make dating difficult.
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,575 Member
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    It is exhausting, I know. When I was 25 maybe it was fun. Starting over at 30 after getting out of a long term relationship...it was fun for 2 weeks. Now I can't be bothered. I started dating a guy from my gym instead...dangerous, but fun.
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
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    The thing about online dating is that a lot of the people on there (a lot, not ALL) are online (and not meeting people in real life) for a REASON.

    I can't tell you how many guys I met who were obviously on the autism spectrum, which makes socialization very difficult. Typing is one thing; actually speaking and responding to another person is entirely another and way too hard for some people to do.

    Then there are the ones with detachment disorders who run at the slightest hint of involvement, always looking for the better deal.

    And that's just talking about the guys. I never dated women or looked at any women's profiles, so I can't tell you about what's out there. :)
  • Saskwatch99
    Saskwatch99 Posts: 75 Member
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    ClubSilencio wrote: »
    The thing about online dating is that everyone who is online dating is dating other online daters. #Deep

    It's like you said... you've dated 15 blokes since Easter. Even if you mesh with someone they are getting in their 15 dates too. I remember envisioning marriage on my first online date, but she just wanted to slam some brews and dance to the remix of "Ignition". It was a grounding experience.

    Online dating is still pretty good for hang outs. Maybe focus on forging friendships and see where it goes?











    I just started two weeks ago and while it seems to be going well, this is what I am concerned about. I have talked to lots of women who have been doing it for years. I think some like the attention from multiple people and may not want to give that up. It's how some get there, in the first place.
  • iammeinnh
    iammeinnh Posts: 72 Member
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    I haven't online dated, but I know people who have met their spouses online and they are very happy. I think it's kinda like dating people you meet other places, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I met my bf in a basement...it works. ;) (he was the bass player in a band my brother was in. They practiced in a basement studio)

    This is the advice I give my nieces and nephews about dating.

    -People are always on their best behavior for the first several dates. You aren't dating them, you are dating who they think you want them to be.

    -Sex is fun, sex is great, viva la sex! But, you are a treasure. If you want casual sex, do it. But, if you want a lasting relationship don't give that away on the first date. Instant gratification holds nothing to waiting a while. Getting to know each other without the expectation and complications of having a sexual relationship right away. Waiting will build desire and excitement and give you time to discover more about your date.

    =Going on a few dates isn't a 'relationship'. Don't date just one person exclusively unless you are in a relationship.

    Listen to your Auntie Cheryl. Enjoy the hunt. ;)

    -

  • jbconnelly
    jbconnelly Posts: 170 Member
    edited June 2016
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    ClubSilencio wrote: »
    The thing about online dating is that everyone who is online dating is dating other online daters. #Deep

    It's like you said... you've dated 15 blokes since Easter. Even if you mesh with someone they are getting in their 15 dates too. I remember envisioning marriage on my first online date, but she just wanted to slam some brews and dance to the remix of "Ignition". It was a grounding experience.

    Online dating is still pretty good for hang outs. Maybe focus on forging friendships and see where it goes?

    Now, I'm not tryin to be rude...but (see what I did there?)...what is wrong with beers and R. Kelly?!?!?!
  • Thisnameischosen_
    Thisnameischosen_ Posts: 619 Member
    edited June 2016
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    I tried online dating for about two weeks.. I grew tired of it really fast. I just didn't believe anything they were saying.. like one guy "oh you're a police man?? Nice uniform but why does your house look like a crack den?? Was that picture taken whilst you were at work?? Oh it wasn't? Yeah. Not buying it dude" BLOCK.

    It seemed pointless by the end and most people just came across as odd balls, or, the ones that I was attracted to, I didn't believe they were genuine anyway.




  • jbconnelly
    jbconnelly Posts: 170 Member
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    Villae81 wrote: »
    jbconnelly wrote: »
    ClubSilencio wrote: »
    The thing about online dating is that everyone who is online dating is dating other online daters. #Deep

    It's like you said... you've dated 15 blokes since Easter. Even if you mesh with someone they are getting in their 15 dates too. I remember envisioning marriage on my first online date, but she just wanted to slam some brews and dance to the remix of "Ignition". It was a grounding experience.

    Online dating is still pretty good for hang outs. Maybe focus on forging friendships and see where it goes?

    Now, I'm not tryin to be rude...but (see what I did there?)...what is wrong with beers and R. Kelly?!?!?!

    Read that on Kellys singing voice lol

    I can't get it out of my head now!
  • aub6689
    aub6689 Posts: 351 Member
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    I don't have any advice. I think you are awesome to have gone on so many dates. I have only lasted a week on any online dating site. Got overwhelmed, went on one date, quit the site and told myself I'd try again later. I think it is hard to put yourself out there and courageous of you to do so. Best of luck!
  • DeviatedNorm
    DeviatedNorm Posts: 422 Member
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    I just started my first relationship after losing tons of weight. So far the issue I've had with dating is watching all my male 'friends' disappear the moment I tell them I'm now in a relationship.

    It's weird watching a man back away quickly without moving at all.

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