"DON'T lose anymore weight"

I've been catching crap at work lately as well, mostly from co-workers who haven't seen me for months. "I don't know what your diet is, but you might need to back down on it." This came from a guy who went from about 165 to 280 within two years of quitting smoking. Grains of salt and all of that.

My mother does the same thing! I've lost fourteen pounds, it's barely noticeable, and she's like "you've lost so much weight! You need to slow down!" And when I told her I wanted to get into a size 8 pant, she said "that's too skinny Kate, you're going to need to reevaluate".
I figure mothers are just like that. Good on your for telling her off (more or less lol) for it.

As a mother I understand the need to feed, as a daughter I understand the need to accept input and then make my own decisions.

BTW, Congrats on your weight loss! I too passed from the BMI Obese section to just overweight. Was a nice milestone! You know you are getting healthy, smile and thank your mum, and then keep eating healthy and tracking!

RoseTheWarrior wrote: »

I get a lot of people just trying to be nice saying "you're wasting away", and "you don't need to lose any more". Yet I'm the same as you OP, in that I obviously still need to lose at least 20-40 more lbs. I'm still in a size 14, am 5'3" and weigh 160, also in the overweight BMI category. I really think though that people are just trying to be nice. Most people aren't trying to make you feel bad. I have to say, after ten months, my mom FINALLY asked me what I was doing to lose weight! She hardly ever mentions it, I believe because she needs to lose a lot of weight and doesn't want to believe it's possible for her. If she doesn't find out it's possible, perhaps even simple, she can continue to live in denial.

Exactly the same with my mom (and sister, and aunt, and cousins). My mom doesn't even ask me how I maintain my weight. She just tells everyone, "She never eats and exercises like a maniac!". Nope. Completely untrue. It's basically slander, but it's been like this for years. Nothing will change it now, so I just ignore it and whatever anyone wants to think, well feel free.

OP, congrats on your success so far! That's great and although you still want to lose more you should NOT refer to yourself as fat! I think you look great. The parent / child dynamic is tough regardless of how old we are. My youngest son needed to drop a few pounds recently so I paid for his gym membership for a few months. However, I still make him his favorite meals and take them over to him. Yeah, I know. Guilty!

Dahlielah, i've also been told that too by stepmum and an aunt, cos my 'face' is too gaunt. Sorry girls but i have the family facial structure and it's not that flattering on girls, so I either stay podgy or i have a gaunt-guyish face. I know which i can put up with more! Try not to let it get to you, however your mum meant it it's not worth your time thinking about it if it annoys you, unless it motivates you to workout harder You are getting fit for you, no one else, ignore an annoying/hurtful comments and get on with being you.

My mother has been doing this to me too, even though I'm almost 45 years old and no where near being too thin. She's just not used to seeing me at this weight, so I get it. I just tell her (in a nice way) to back off. I know she's my mom, but I'm also a grown-*kitten* woman and I can take care of myself.

Wow - beyond words that you are this upset over a benign weight loss comment from your Mom. I'm grossly fascinated with how you would react to some of the more insensitive stuff that gets said by coworkers, acquaintances, and strangers that other MFP members post about...you would go nuclear.

That aside, did you talk to your Mom about it? Ask her what she meant? It sounds like either she's not a good judge on weight, or she was trying to pay you a compliment, or she wanted to let you know she's noticed your progress. At any rate, you haven't seen her in five months, what a waste of time to ruin the visit being offended by something so minor. Life is too short. Older people tend to be more blunt and open, she probably didn't realize she offended you.

Consider the time that you have spent being upset about this, and consider the alternatives. She could just not care, and I'm sure that would hurt your feelings, or she could not even be around/available period. I think you would be more upset with the alternatives. Consider yourself fortunate that you have a Mom that you see, who pays enough attention to notice you've lost weight. Make the most out of the time you have with her. Also, develop a thicker skin regarding your weight loss, that's not going to be the last comment you hear and some people can be brutal. Learn to shake it off and not allow it to affect you. Good luck!

queenliz99 wrote: »

It is sort of a sideways compliment, she's your mom. She doesn't mean anything bad by it

I don't know your mom, but I'm willing to agree with this hypothesis. Totally.

It's just a shock because she hasn't seem you in ages. She will get used to it. I find the line "my Doctor says I still need to loose xx pounds to be healthy" is a good one here. Can't really argue with that, although I'm sure some will try

My granny is the one who says this to me. Every week she's asks me if I'm still trying to lose weight and when I say yes, she looks really worried. I just tell her I'm trying to get to a healthy weight and that everything is fine. One week she sat me down and asked if I was eating, and I was like yes, I eat regularly and sometimes much too much, lol. She's a sweetie and just wants me to be okay, so I don't mind answering the same question regularly.

My mother is the same about everything I do really. She doesn't have tact or subtlety and offends on an unwittingly wide scale day to day.

In the defense of any onlookers though, I guess it's easy to worry when you see people shrinking before your eyes, because let's face it overeating can be classified as an eating disorder and that obsessive behaviour can flip the other way, now restricting excessively rather than eating excessively. Under eating can be perceived as the worse of the two scenarios so it's worrying if they believe you're not being sensible and starving yourself. You just need to prove to them that you know what you're doing and you're doing it safely. If you can't make them appreciate that then ignore their comments as much as you can and don't let it deter you...keep going, you're doing this for you and no one else.

Its true - people don't like change, so stick with what is comfortable to you. One thing though BMI is notoriously bad at giving accurate weight ranges. Someone could have a lot of lean muscle weight and yet in BMI would still be classed as obese. There are other ways of measuring your correct weight range. The one I use is Waist to height ratio - you can get sites that work it out for you. Its far more accurate than BMI - in my opinion.

When I told my mom that I'd lost my first ten pounds, she immediately said the same thing. I too reacted in surprise as I was still well overweight, and I continued onward in my pursuit for health. Later on, she revealed to me that she never pushed for me to lose weight because she thought I was going to get loose skin. My family is very big overall, with many obese and overweight people. Apparently, one woman in my family lost a ton of weight, got loose skin, and was/is having issues. My mom feared I was going to have the same problems.
I wasn't morbidly obese, but I was indeed obese (class I). I have youth on my side, and though parts of me are deflated/untoned, and I have stretch marks, time and strength training can help, and I do not have loose skin now. Even if I did have it or felt I was going to have some, it would NOT have stopped me from losing weight.
Anyways, what I'm saying is, your mom might be worried that you may face the possible downsides of weight loss and is just not very good at articulating her concerns.