So very broken.

rosieflo
rosieflo Posts: 218
edited September 29 in Motivation and Support
Sometimes this battle seems so overwhelming. How am I ever going to lose over 200 lbs? How will I ever be healthy? I know that if I was responding to this post, I would say, "One lb, one goal at a time." But, I'm honestly at a point where all I can do is cry. I no longer feel productive. Just sad. :( Not even sure how the next lb is coming off.
Just needed to vent.
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Replies

  • Bridge_CG
    Bridge_CG Posts: 429 Member
    Baby steps! Set little mini goals for yourself. And once you accomplish those mini goals, you're closer to dropping 200 pounds. If you need a good cry, then cry. But if you need a friend to message, or encourage you, then... You can add me. :)
  • BranMuffin21
    BranMuffin21 Posts: 157 Member
    Its good to vent! Take one step at a time, its doesn't cost to go for a walk, just the cost of losing weight, which is good! Most people don't realize that if you spend a little time reasearching it can save you a lot of money on things you need! Hope your day goes better!
  • kmshred
    kmshred Posts: 393 Member
    hey girl. a lot of us have been there too. remember its about the journey, not always just the destination. keep your head up. i've cried over this stuff too... but we were born for battle! thankfully we have each other.. so, keep truckin' my lady.
  • XxBri22xX
    XxBri22xX Posts: 183
    Anything is possible. You can do it, you just have to be motivated. Keep eating healthy and exercising as much as you can. Just keep picturing how great you will look and feel once the weight comes off. Set small goals to reach and give yourself a reward each time you succeed. One day, one pound at a time. Hang in there and good luck!!!
  • NancyAnne1960
    NancyAnne1960 Posts: 500 Member
    This is the place to be when you need to vent!!! We are here for you. I used to think I had sooo much to loose, I'd never get there. Then I started going 10 lbs. by 10 lbs., and it doesn't seem so overwhelming. Also at 10 lbs., I do see some results, either by scale, or by clothes, or by measurements. I feel smaller with every 10 lbs. too. Keep focusing on the small, wonderful changes. Hang in there, and don't give up!!! :happy:
  • IMYarnCraz33
    IMYarnCraz33 Posts: 1,016 Member
    I know how you feel. I too have over 200 to lose.
    Hang in there sweetie.
    It didn't take us days to get where we are, it won't take us days to get to where we want to be.
    Be strong. It's one step at a time. You'll get there. =)
    Feel free to add me if you'd like.
  • jenfitz34
    jenfitz34 Posts: 31
    I too have felt this way, and there isn't much anyone can say that will make it feel better so I'm not going to try to give you any advice. Just offering some support and a virtual hug.
    :D
  • nlsalvatore
    nlsalvatore Posts: 519 Member
    Have you ever joined a challenge here on MFP? I find them to be very motivating, and you set small reachable goals for the challenge time period. Give one a try if you haven't done so! The Battle of the Bulge (BOB) summer challenge is an extremely motivating one and you can join at any time. There are also various groups for people with certain amounts of weight to lose, for example, I have seen groups for people wanting to lose 100 plus pounds. I find it helpful to connect with other MFPers with similar goals and challenges.

    This is the address for the current thread:
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/273841--post-3-battle-of-the-bulge-summer-slimdown-challenge

    This is the address for the website made by the creator of this challenge:
    http://www.wix.com/prplangl4/battleofthebulge

    Good luck & don't give up!


    Check it out!
  • kittycat613
    kittycat613 Posts: 55 Member
    You can do it hun. Look at how far you've come already! It may not seem like a lot to you, but it is! And you should be SO proud of yourself! You are taking the steps to better your life, which is amazing! I know it's hard and I have days like that as well. I can so relate to you because I have 200+ lbs to lose. Some days I'm just so done with it, but I remember that I am doing this to better my life. Just remember that. You can do it, keep pressing on. Just have faith in yourself and remember that Rome wasn't built in a day. This is a lifestyle change and, while it may be slow going, it WILL happen and you will be so proud of yourself when you hit your goal! :)
  • jlewis2896
    jlewis2896 Posts: 763 Member
    ((((((Hug))))))

    That is all. You know the rest. And that's why you'll be okay.
  • bouche05
    bouche05 Posts: 13
    I'm there with you! I have over 200lbs to lose too but I started with something fun..bootcamp! Everyone is so encouraging and makes you really want to do it! I started at 396 on 5/26/11 today I weighed in at 373..come on we can do it!
  • HungryMom
    HungryMom Posts: 280
    ((hugs)) I have been there; it is tough. It is very, very tough. I try not to think about the pounds-- it can be very intimidating, especially at the beginning. I try to look at my daily goals and let MFP do the rest. I set my food and exercise goals and each day do my best to meet those. Concentrating on my calories for one day seemed much more manageable to me. One day after another I did this until it was my weekly weigh-in. Having one day to be accountable for my weight helped me stay in the day-to-day mind frame also. Weeks turned into months, and now the new lifestyle seems like my new normal. At the beginning I was obsessed and probably drove my friends crazy thinking about calories in and calories out. It does get easier I promise.
  • JulieBoBoo
    JulieBoBoo Posts: 642
    The most motivational thing for me was to remember that next year I'll be a year older no matter what I do. How healthy I'll be a year from now.. now THAT is up to me. Time's going to pass regardless. What I can control is how I choose to greet it.
  • melodys_attic
    melodys_attic Posts: 114 Member
    The truth is that this is really hard! It is! We have to keep believing that it's worth making the effort. And if, as we travel this hard road, we have times when we just feel like crying, isn't it great we have each other to confide in? Notice that none of us here is surprised at how you are feeling. We all know this can be overwhelming. But the only way to get there, as you yourself said, isone step at a time. And every day we have to do something nice and relaxing for ourselves to take care of our spirits. So I'll take the advice I'm giving you and go have a bubble bath to feel better about my own plateau, which has been going for several months now, and get up tomorrow to a new day and a new bunch of salads. At least there are strawberries this time of year ;D
  • countrydarling1
    countrydarling1 Posts: 386 Member
    Baby steps! Set little mini goals for yourself. And once you accomplish those mini goals, you're closer to dropping 200 pounds. If you need a good cry, then cry. But if you need a friend to message, or encourage you, then... You can add me. :)

    Sweet heart it will be ok! I have 170 to loose, probably more like 200, but for now thats my goal! Ive been on here for a month & have gained & lost & gained & lost! something that keeps me goin is looking at the ppls before & after pictures. it will be a long process, but worth it. we didnt put it on n a month, it will take a while to take it off! These ppl here r real. They have done it & can give words of encouragement, words of wisdom or just a pic u up! WE CAN DO IT!!! Chin up! CRY when u need to cry, smile when u need to & vent when u need to!! we r all listening!:wink::flowerforyou:
  • JeffGDDG
    JeffGDDG Posts: 252 Member
    Awww :-( Sometimes when it all seems too long for me I think of just losing 5 or some other number instead of the whole thing. I have about 56 to go but my next goal is just 2 pounds and then 5 after that. Hang in there!
  • miriamtorason
    miriamtorason Posts: 208 Member
    I'm with you. I've amended my goals to be a final weight of 165 (from 145, with a muscle mass of 136, I found out later). I set mini goals, figuring 10 pounds every two months wouldn't be too bad... And I made my first one! I hit 210 by March 31. Then came 200 by May 31. I hit 201 by about May 24. Then... I don't know what happened. I'm STILL bouncing around between 202 and 204, and I can't get under 200 to save my life. I even did the 30DS, and while I lost thirty six inches that way, I lost ZERO pounds. Not one. Still haven't. Don't know why, but I do know it's incredibly frustrating, maddening, and boy would it be nice to just not care and do whatever the blazes I feel like again. It's even worse knowing I've been busting my butt working out and still nothing. But... Here I am. Dunno if it's stubborn, stupid, insane or dedication, but I'm still here.
  • ckmama
    ckmama Posts: 1,668 Member
    i know how you feel. and you are right saying 1 step at a time and believing it are two different things. Sometimes when I feel overwhelmed. I tell my self, I am just going to try to lose 5 or 10 and I will actually care around a 10 lb weight with me to remind myself what a huge difference just losing 10 lbs makes.

    We are moving around these heavy bodies all the time. Imagine how it will feel to live to be 80, 90, 100...to live that long you have to do what is required to make it.

    I've recently rediscovered my motivation and it wasn't by making a goal it was about producing an outcome.

    I want to see my grandchildren, I want to be able to play with and keep up with my great grandchildren, like my grandmother does at 80. All the people I know over 80 and 90, I know 6 of them are all thin, none of them are obese, have diabetes or cholesterol issues. When I feel like stopping walking, cause i"m just plain bored or feeling lazy, I tell my self I can do 5 more minutes. and I picture myself playing with my 3 month old son's children.

    I want my outcome to be different for my son's then it has been for me. I want them to have a mom that lives past 60. I want them to have someone to call to babysit when they want to go out at night. I want to be that person.

    Being morbidly obese isn't going to get me there and it won't get you there either.

    Get up now and just march in place for 10 minutes. Then you can say you did something. Or get up and sit down 20 times on the couch. UP down UP down. I hope you will do 1 tiny thing it will help your spirit so much.
  • foodforfuel
    foodforfuel Posts: 569 Member
    Hi rosieflo!
    Let me start with a cheesy quote to share with you how I get it to work for me.
    "To fly as fast as thought, to anywhere that is, you must first begin by realizing that you have already arrived." (R.Bach)
    In order for me to not become overwhelmed, I have to first and foremost change my mindset. I don't look at my weight loss efforts as a huge, hard, monumental task or even a goal. (Though of course, I do have goals.)
    I can't look at it as being in a deprived state. In my mind, I tell myself that I ALREADY AM the person that I want to be, the person already at my goal. In my mind I AM thin and healthy, and I don't overeat or eat junk. I AM a person who eats healthy food and cares about her weight and appearance. In my mind, I am already there. It IS who I am. Already. Now.
    Thisi helps me so much when I feel tempted by junk food or binges. I just realize in my mind that I am not a person that does that. I care about myself and my health and my appearance.
    'Cause where the mind goes, the body is sure to follow.
    I hope this makes some kind of sense! Be the person that you want to be NOW! You are not the person you used to be before you made the committment to yourself to change for the better!
  • sbrown6
    sbrown6 Posts: 334 Member
    The people here are the best on earth. And I definitely agree that mini goals are the way to go.
  • ckmama
    ckmama Posts: 1,668 Member
    I'm with you. I've amended my goals to be a final weight of 165 (from 145, with a muscle mass of 136, I found out later). I set mini goals, figuring 10 pounds every two months wouldn't be too bad... And I made my first one! I hit 210 by March 31. Then came 200 by May 31. I hit 201 by about May 24. Then... I don't know what happened. I'm STILL bouncing around between 202 and 204, and I can't get under 200 to save my life. I even did the 30DS, and while I lost thirty six inches that way, I lost ZERO pounds. Not one. Still haven't. Don't know why, but I do know it's incredibly frustrating, maddening, and boy would it be nice to just not care and do whatever the blazes I feel like again. It's even worse knowing I've been busting my butt working out and still nothing. But... Here I am. Dunno if it's stubborn, stupid, insane or dedication, but I'm still here.

    About 3 years ago I dropped from 272 to 190. and maintained it for 3 years. When I hit the 200 lb mark it did the same thing to me. I think it is a mental thing. Break it. See it as a glass ceiling you are about to burst thru and noone is going to stop you.
  • Don't deprive yourself too much, if you do; you will feel like cheating, once you start cheating, you tend to toss in the towel. I tell my self, I can still have bacon, beer, and cheesecake!!, just not all three in the same day.
    I hate to exercise so I replace that with things i like to do; like get out in the garden and weed whack, or scrub the heck out of the kitchen and bathrooms , I mean to the point of breaking a big sweat. I feel so good ,both to have a clean kitchen and I worked off some stubborn fat calories. tomorrow I PAINT THE SHUTTERS. you can do this, don't beat yourself up, just change the routine.
  • lovinmamaxo
    lovinmamaxo Posts: 368 Member
    Keep your head up girl.. it really is one day at a time. It seems like so far away but it comes off relatively quicker especially in us starting out in higher numbers. I too started at over 200lbs to lose. I now have to lose 164lbs to be at my goal weight of 190lbs. When i started i truly didn't seen an end in sight but it can be done with dedication and loving yourself enough to want to be healthier.

    Yeah we all have a long way to go but i do recommend truly taking it one day at a time... a year goes by quicker than you think! You can do this.
  • bodybliss2
    bodybliss2 Posts: 10
    You will get there but only if YOU BELIEVE you will. Noone else can do it but YOU.
    Do you notice how your negative thoughts get in the way of you feeling good about yourself? Right now? At this current time and at your current weight?? Our thoughts become our reality and I know it seems like an easy enough concept to grasp, but when you really THINK about it, you will realise it all the more.
    We are the creator of our thoughts and those thoughts can either lead us UP or DOWN, depending on whether you choose to believe them or not.

    I know its so easy to come on here and have people say, 'you can do it' or 'just one day at a time' but all of that is meaningless unless you BELIEVE you can do it.
    Start by believing yourself WORTHY of your goal.
    If you want to be that hot chick who guys wanna be with and girls wanna hate(LOL) then you have to believe you are WORTH making that required effort for.
    Its all very well to lose the weight and I congratulate those who do, but if you do not change the way you feel about yourself WITHIN you, then all that success will be for nothing because the same issues that led you to overeat in the first place will make themselves evident again.

    Even just a few minutes a day looking yourself in the mirror and saying 'I AM WORTH IT!' and 'I CAN DO IT!' can have major benefits to your self esteem.

    Believe yourself worthy because you ARE worthy and once you realize and BELIEVE that, then things will start looking up for you okay! Do you know the average person thinks about 50,000 thoughts a day??? Now that is ALOT of thoughts and when you consider that where we are today is a direct result of our thoughts, you'll realize how important and VITAL it is that we start thinking good, positive thoughts! You will get there, but its all about whether you believe you can.

    All the best!!xox
  • BabyDuchess
    BabyDuchess Posts: 353 Member
    I started out with 145 to lose and 6 months later I only have 85 left. I can only tell you what worked for me. I NEVER, EVER went there in my mind about the big picture. I set small goals for myself, which were very attainable to get my confidence level up. I started out by eliminating trigger foods, then I started eating leaner meats, then I started eating grilled, baked or broiled vs. fried....even when I went to a fast-food restaurant. I started eating more fresh fruits and vegetables and drinking a ton of water, which I hated before this.....I drink ice-water, which burns more calories....lol Then when the weight started coming off I started working out at home and did that for a couple of months until I saved the money to pay for the gym.....best decision I ever made! I made a large friend base at the gym immediately since I figured I was going to be spending so much time there.....great to have encouragement from every source you can get it from....lol Then I got to know and eventually hired a trainer....well actually, I take a weight lifting class of his and I'm signing up for another six weeks and then who knows from there. Please don't get discouraged. We didn't get this way overnight and shouldn't expect it to come off quickly because if It did, where would the reward be? it would be way to easy to gain it back if it was too easy to take it off, wouldn't it? I think so. It's hard work and anyone that tells you differently, isn't being honest. But really, what alternative do you have? You can either lose it at a healthy rate without giving up on yourself or you can give up and stay 200 lbs overweight or get bigger. I'm sorry if this seems harsh but this is what I told myself and the realization I had to come to in order to push myself to the point of doing something about it. You can do anything you tell yourself you can or you can fail if you set yourself up for failure but the choice is ALWAYS yours! :flowerforyou:
  • miriamtorason
    miriamtorason Posts: 208 Member
    I'm with you. I've amended my goals to be a final weight of 165 (from 145, with a muscle mass of 136, I found out later). I set mini goals, figuring 10 pounds every two months wouldn't be too bad... And I made my first one! I hit 210 by March 31. Then came 200 by May 31. I hit 201 by about May 24. Then... I don't know what happened. I'm STILL bouncing around between 202 and 204, and I can't get under 200 to save my life. I even did the 30DS, and while I lost thirty six inches that way, I lost ZERO pounds. Not one. Still haven't. Don't know why, but I do know it's incredibly frustrating, maddening, and boy would it be nice to just not care and do whatever the blazes I feel like again. It's even worse knowing I've been busting my butt working out and still nothing. But... Here I am. Dunno if it's stubborn, stupid, insane or dedication, but I'm still here.

    About 3 years ago I dropped from 272 to 190. and maintained it for 3 years. When I hit the 200 lb mark it did the same thing to me. I think it is a mental thing. Break it. See it as a glass ceiling you are about to burst thru and noone is going to stop you.
    Boy, do I hope that's the case. I've been sitting here forever, and it's a pain in the @$$! What really drives me nuts is that I'm trying to fit into a dress. I almost fit into it before I did 30DS. Then I lost 3-4" in my belly, hips, and thighs. The dress *still* doesn't fit - and according to my measurements and the manufacturer's website, I should have 4" clearance all over! GAH! *thud*

    Okay, !thread-hijack...
  • rosieflo
    rosieflo Posts: 218
    Thank you all for your support...your kind words...your friend requests. I'm worn out from all the crying I've been doing tonight, but I'm waking up to a brand new world tomoroow. Thanks.
  • achampionsheart
    achampionsheart Posts: 1,020 Member
    Honey, we are all broken in our own way. It is ok to be broken, you have to be real with yourself. If you feel like crying, cry and get it out. Then pick yourself up, pick up a bottle of water, and exercise. work out the frustration on a piece of equipment. The first weight you need to lose is not fat, it is the attitude that youre NOT going to do this....you can.....but no one can do it for you.....you have to pick yourself up and push yourself....if you really want to lose that much, then youre going to have to work at it EVERYDAY.....do set small goals AND reward yourself for your success...but dont use food as a reward....use food to live, dont live for food.....i am here and so is everyone else to support you.....each step is important in the journey...live strong sweetie!!!!
  • fifon1
    fifon1 Posts: 17
    hey its ok to feel the way you feel.. afterall, it is a hard and long battle... and its definitely okay to take 1 or 2 days off.. go do things u that makes u happy whatever that maybe.... dont think about all of this at all.. i know its easier said that done.. but u can try.. its normal that u always will look at the 200lbs to go... but take days off to celebrate how far u have come.. go buy new dresses.. go let ur hair down.. stop and smell the flowers! :) get back at it when ur ready.. it always work for me... hope it will for u too!! good luck!!
  • healthyjen342
    healthyjen342 Posts: 1,435 Member
    JUST KEEP TRYING! I have felt the SAME WAY! Time and Patience is key! (((hugs)))
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