Self sabotage! Why??

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  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,342 Member
    edited July 2016
    Its just a swing of 2lbs and as you don't keep gaining more and more then it sounds like you are maintaining nicely. 2lbs more lost wont make much difference, so perhaps this is your maintenance weight?
    Self sabotage would be if you kept on gaining imo...
  • KareninLux
    KareninLux Posts: 1,413 Member
    kportmanshark wrote: »
    My final pounds were really hard also. It's like I got close enough where I was a little more casual about the dieting and that slowed things way down. I also started getting hungrier. Those last pounds can be a struggle. You'll get through it.

    I am sooooooooooo going through this. Five pounds to go... slow, slow, slow.
  • KareninLux
    KareninLux Posts: 1,413 Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    Christine_72 wrote: »
    JaneSnowe wrote: »
    Christine_72 wrote: »
    JaneSnowe wrote: »
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    nvigliotte wrote: »
    Being ashamed of my body has become part of my identity. The idea of suddenly liking it is sort of unsettling. Like, won't that make me conceited? Won't that make me like the people I always made fun of? Wont that make me less relatable?

    This li'l ol' lady sez, being all granny-like:

    IMO, all of us ought to be gradually evolving our identities all of the time, because learning & growing is fun.

    Liking your body, in the sense of being comfortable in your own skin, is very, very different from being giddily in love with your body completely out of proportion to its service to you, or its appeal to others, and showing off that self-admiration to others to the point of being a self-involved jerk. The latter is "being conceited".

    Being comfortable with yourself is a happier state, and (ideally) one where you can mentally be more generous with others besides. There's no reason to make fun of people when you feel comfortable and confident with yourself - you don't need to rank people ("I'm better than her", "He's better than me" - just no).

    And, when you find this place of comfort and self-acceptance, and it lets you feel more kind and compassionate about others' bodies as well . . . and poof, you'll be more relatable, not less.

    It's a triple win: Comfortable, compassionate, relatable.

    And you can think that way now, or in two pounds (plus or minus), or five . . . .

    Self-sabotaging that last few pounds sounds like fear, to me. No need for fear.

    Will you be my grandmother? <3

    You'll have to fight me for her :lol:

    But I'm good at sharing! :smiley:

    LOL ok, part time each it is! :tongue:

    Hows about we let Ann pick who her favourite adopted child will be, we know all grandma's have one :wink:

    HahahaaHA! In real life, I have no grandchildren, so I have room in my life for a whole brood on MFP. Be forewarned: I'm an eccentric and assertive li'l ol' lady! ;)

    Very funny chain, ladies. :)
  • whatever_46
    whatever_46 Posts: 18 Member
    nvigliotte wrote: »
    Being ashamed of my body has become part of my identity. The idea of suddenly liking it is sort of unsettling. Like, won't that make me conceited? Won't that make me like the people I always made fun of? Wont that make me less relatable?

    I know this is late but I just wanted to comment on this. You reaching your goal will not make you happy and you will not suddenly like your body. I'm not saying that to discourage you. By all means, I truly hope you meet the goal that you are trying to obtain, however, I think it is important for you to realize that if you feel this way about yourself now you will feel this way once you reach your goal. The "goal" will never be good enough, you'll never be skinny enough, tall enough, curvy enough, tan enough, ect...at least not in YOUR mind, what everyone else sees will be more than accepted, even attractive. What I'm trying to tell you is your problem goes much deeper than 2 lbs and I hope you are able to overcome the real issue some day and love yourself the way you are.
  • vrojapu
    vrojapu Posts: 268 Member
    OP, in the larger scheme of life, are you the sort who achieves her goals quickly? If so, is that why it bothers you so much to not reach the goal you've set yourself?

    If you're not, then I can relate - I just do things in tiny amounts but doggedly over extended periods of time and get them done in that fashion. The body, taste buds, other senses don't realize that I'm shorting them a few bites here and there, adding a few more steps/curls/lifts (whatever it is I'm doing then for exercise) and g-r-a-d-u-a-l-l-y I fool myself into losing just a bit more, just a bit at a time. And eventually, it's gone.

    I also make sure to reward myself for every little thing I've done smarter, so that the animal/demon inside me is distracted and happy enough to not bother me for the calories it didn't get or that it expended without too much of a fuss. If the taste buds are screaming, I distract the other senses - eyes (library/park), nose (flower shop) etc etc. Hope this helps.

    And Ann, I would love to be part of your mfp brood, too, although I'm close to you in age!!
  • onefortyone
    onefortyone Posts: 531 Member
    If (and it's a BIG if. A 60lb 'if) I was 2lbs away from my ultimate goal and REALLY wanted to get there, I'd probably make my deficit like... 100 cals a day and be okay with losing less than 1lb per month. I'd treat it like a marathon than a sprint - and not because one or two pounds make a difference, but because I set a goal and nothing beats reaching that goal.

    As for your feeling of having no idea how to even like your body, well, that's the only body you've got! You're kind of stuck with it, so you might as well at least be civil to it! <3
  • AliceDark
    AliceDark Posts: 3,886 Member
    nvigliotte wrote: »
    Being ashamed of my body has become part of my identity. The idea of suddenly liking it is sort of unsettling. Like, won't that make me conceited? Won't that make me like the people I always made fun of? Wont that make me less relatable?

    I lost a lot of weight in my early 20s, and for awhile I was worried that not being the "curvy girl" would mean that I would lose my identity. (In retrospect, it was the dumbest thing to worry about, but at the time I legitimately struggled with the concept). I finally moved past it by deciding that I could always go back if I didn't like who I became. So here's my challenge to you...try being different. Give it a shot and see if you like it; you can always go back to being ashamed of your body if being proud of it doesn't work for you.

    Figure out how to be happy with yourself without being conceited. Figure out how to relate to others without putting yourself down.

    (And you probably already know this, but stop making fun of people. You're projecting your own bad behavior onto others in this case. People who are genuinely happy with their own bodies don't make fun of other people based on appearances).
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