convincing your significant other

I wouldn't put it towards your weight training. She just needs to be complimented and validation that you are interested, still care and find her attractive. Ask her to go on walks or a fun bike ride with a fun place as a destination. The more you pester her on her weight, she may resent you more. If you are looking better, she may be worried that other women will be attracted to you. It sounds crazy, but it could be crossing her mind. So, since you've been going to the gym and working out and seeing fit bodies, let her know you still love her and she's the one for you and that you'll always find her sexy and beautiful.

My boyfriend and I (both of us are divorced and in our 40's) started working out together last year. I want to lose 80 lbs and he about 50. He always said I was the one who got him back to the gym. He does cross-fit daily and rides horses, I box and ride horses/bike when I'm not traveling for work. I was always a biking maniac and he would be exhausted. I lost 25, but an injury (mounted my horse and tore a meniscus) sidelined me for 4 months ( I had other issues too). He kept working out and I gained my weight back. He went from being really cute to hot. And I went from ok to a blob. I've been back working out that past 2 months pain free, my usual energetic self and working hard. He can work out every day with his desk job, sometimes 2x a day. I do my best 5 times a week (and sometimes non at all). When I was feeling down on myself, like your wife, he would make sure I knew how he felt about me. Even when I didn't say anything. He has always been supportive, knowing that I am working past some physical limitations and trying to lose weight and work out around my work. We try to work out at least once a week together.

So, over all, just don't worry about her working out, sometimes the pressure will push her away. Instead, be positive about what she means to you..and don't wait for her to dig for a compliment. Invite her along on work outs, and if she goes, work out with her and make it an easy one that she can enjoy her time with you.

sunnybeaches105 wrote: »

wrighty11146 wrote: »

Hey all,

Ive posted before regarding this but really need some help,

My wife often complains about her weight, referring herself to a slob, horrid or fat. often times she asks why I find her attractive.

When she does bring this up I ask her why not join me, ill help, make suggestions ect ect but then it falls off the radar,

you guys got any advice?

Yea. Don't say that. Say something along the lines of "you look great, let's bang," instead.

love this ^^^

Lounmoun wrote: »

Do you find her attractive? Do you tell her that without being asked? Maybe start complimenting her more often. Let her know more often how you love her for more than her appearance.
Tell her that you hear she is struggling with some tough feelings right now. Ask her if there is anything particular that made her feel this way or if she always feels kind of bad/insecure. Listen to her feelings instead of designing a work out or diet plan. Suggest seeking a doctor/therapy if she is constantly feeling bad/depressed. Sometimes you have to work on the mind before you can work on the body. Sometimes you need an outside professional helper instead of your loving spouse to talk things over. Sometimes you need medication before you can move forward.

I think this is a very likely candidate. She is seeing you getting in better shape and is feeling insecure. My boyfriend was like this when I lost a bunch of weight.