Did your change in lifestyle affect your personal relationships?

I agree with the contingent of folks here who have said to talk to your boyfriend, not just to write him off as a jerk. My addition/idea is to bring it up happily, as a thing you're excited about and want to involve him in rather than bitching at him about how unsupportive he is. Don't be afraid to be serious, tell him it's important to you, but go in with a plan: for example, if, as other folks have suggested, you're going to try cooking a couple (or more) meals a week, ask him for suggestions on things he'd like to try at-home versions of. You don't have to just take his requests, of course, but it might help to make him feel less food-railroaded (foodroaded?) by your new plans.

My boyfriend has been wonderfully supportive of me trying to get fit, but still pokes fun at my efforts and complains about dinner sometimes. It's part of the fun of relationships, it builds in an opportunity for banter and play. And our relationship has only gotten better for it, not only because I'm happier and more confident when I'm more active and feel like I'm taking care of myself, but because it gives me opportunities to tease him, too. We had a pull up competition the other day. I lost miserably, but it still makes it fun and involves him in my journey.

It can be super frustrating when your partner doesn't automatically take the position you'd like them to, but it doesn't have to change your relationship for the worse. You guys can definitely figure it out. Good luck!

My husband is very supportive of my journey to lose even though he struggles with his own and for that I am so grateful. So does he eat a lot of crap that I don't, sure, but he isn't in my face about it. You're both allowed to have different food and fitness directives but you both need to respect each others' choices to be successful together- I hope a conversation between the two of you will help things!

I wonder If it isn't insecurity? He knows you feel good about yourself under 145. Is there a little sabotage in there?

EllieElla2015 wrote: »

Ignore the fact that it's horribly expensive (average $80 per night on dinner alone)

This would be the problem for me. I'd much rather save that money to travel. $80/night for 30 days is $2400 ... I could fly to Canada for that! 2 months and both my husband and I could fly to Canada. 3 months and we could fly to Canada and spend some time travelling around and visiting friends and family and places I'd like to see again.

Eating out isn't a huge deal if you keep the number of calories you consume under the amount of calories you're burning, but maybe you'd have better luck talking to your boyfriend if you started adding up the cost and put it in terms of buying something.

OP you can eat out while keeping in your calories. Whenever I go out to eat, I do not get an appetizer, I only drink water, and I only end up eating half of my plate and saving the rest for lunch the next day. So you can still go out to eat with him while staying within your calorie budget. A lot of restaurants will have the menu online, so you can look at it and make a decision about what would be the best calorie choice for your day early on and stick with it.

Also, you can still eat food during the day, just choose lower calorie items. Keep it purely about the numbers, breakfast 200 calories max, lunch 300 calories max, snacks in between (if needed) each 75 calories max (total 150 max) and you've consumed 650 calories during the day. If you're allowed 1300 calories a day that leaves you with 650 calories for dinner.

It's going to take work on your part, but you do need to talk to him and let him know where your head is at. Let him know that you guys can go out to eat, but you only want to eat an entree, not have a drink and share an appetizer. He's more than welcome to have whatever it is that makes him happy, but for your goals you have figured out that you can have x,y,z.

A trick to use is to ask the waiter/waitress to bring you out a to-go box out with your entree, so you can pack up half of it to go right away. If your boyfriend asks why, just tell him you're saving the rest for lunch the next day. Or if you don't want to eat it b/c you know you're going to dinner the next night, give it to a coworker the next day. I feel like everyone has someone at the office who is always up for a free meal. Just tell them you didn't eat off of it at all, but you don't want it to go to waste.

mrs_justice wrote: »

I think an honest conversation is in order. It can be hard to feel the pressures of who eats what. My SO has goals that are EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE of mine. He consistently works hard to gain weight, while I am trying to lose. Then we have 3 kids that need healthy meals. There are plenty of days that I eat something, he eats something else, and the kids have their own meal. And trust me it requires a lot of communication and support on who is cooking what, and who is eating what... to make sure everyone gets their dietary needs met.

And.... last but not least... making sure all those dishes are washed!!!

It changed a couple. Encouragement comes from places I wouldn't have predicted as does discouragement. Out with the old, in with the new. That's life. The weight loss begat lifestyle changes and those moved some people into and some out of my life.

My whole life changed. Everything. Even my new furniture is different because I don't need that giant couch to support me anymore. New friends, new foods, new books, new equipment stored in new places. It's not just the clothes that change. Not for me, anyway. I didn't know it was coming and didn't set out to change everything, but that's what happened.