Any advice for introverts?
DPHender
Posts: 8 Member
Hey there.
I used MFP a few years ago to lose about 60 pounds. Then I've been away for a while (long story, not important).
So now I'm back to try for more. When I used it before, I never bothered with any of the forums or other social stuff. So basically that's what I'm asking now -- I can look around and see what's available, sure. But does all that stuff actually help? Maybe someone could help me understand how it helps. I'm not normally an overly social person anyway, so does it really get any easier because there's a chat room?
Seriously, it sounds like a stupid question, but really -- I don't get it.
I used MFP a few years ago to lose about 60 pounds. Then I've been away for a while (long story, not important).
So now I'm back to try for more. When I used it before, I never bothered with any of the forums or other social stuff. So basically that's what I'm asking now -- I can look around and see what's available, sure. But does all that stuff actually help? Maybe someone could help me understand how it helps. I'm not normally an overly social person anyway, so does it really get any easier because there's a chat room?
Seriously, it sounds like a stupid question, but really -- I don't get it.
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Replies
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For me, yes. I have had some friends on here for two years. We share stories not just about fitness, but about life. One thing I learned about weight loss and fitness, is that it's kind of a lonely road. No one really cares about your macros or can understand what you are doing...and sometimes it's really good to be able to share your success, troubles, struggles. Sometimes people just post things that make me laugh and brighten my mood for a minute.
ETA: As far as the forums go, that's where I really started learning about nutrition/fitness. I honestly don't think I'd be where I am today, weighing the least amount I have since 6th grade and on my way to competing at my first powerlifting meet, without this forum.11 -
I'm an introvert too, and the discussion boards have helped me enormously in my quest to lose and maintain weight. I have learnt a lot and discovered more. Writing is easier than talking. I'm not into the social aspect per se, so I don't venture into Chit chat, Fun and games, Challenges, Motivation and support, or Introduce yourself. I don't see the other boards as a chat room.3
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If you're an introvert, your energy is sapped by interaction with others, so simply keep it to that which helps you, whether directly or indirectly. There is no need to be the life and soul of ever single thread.4
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And I agree, the what colour is your calorie deficit threads aren't for me. Stick with the less chatty, more specific stuff.1
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Couldn't agree more with Rose - weightloss and fitness goals can become so lonely IRL and others don't/want to understand so MFP can be a great resource.
I don't do the chat room though, have never seen the appeal but it depends on your personality.
Give the site a chance. Even being a lurker you will learn SO much about health, how to spot Woo and Scams, you read posts from awesome people some who have had years of training in health and fitness.
Of course there are always mis-informed people and those who are always on about the latest Fad diet and how it will cure ALL ills but that's life. MFP is a little bit of the World that has a focus on health, fitness, foods etc.
Anyway, Welcome and I hope you get all that you need from the site.
Oh PS: I have met some wonderful people on here who I DO consider friends too, so it is very possible to expand your social circle in this way for the better.5 -
Also...I'm an introvert. And the forums helped me because they are generally less exhausting than real interaction with people. It's Saturday night...I'm not going out or seeing anyone, but I'll hang on here and see what's up.5
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I guess what I'm looking for is to understand how it helps specifically.
I get it on one level. Like I can see if someone posts asking "does the Atkins plan work" or "what exercises are best for older people" then you can learn stuff that way. Although that's usually also stuff you could get from a websearch too.
And really what puzzles me most is what benefit there is to "friend-ing" people on here or having a coach or a group experience.1 -
I actively ignore friend requests - unless I'm married to the person
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I guess what I'm looking for is to understand how it helps specifically.
I get it on one level. Like I can see if someone posts asking "does the Atkins plan work" or "what exercises are best for older people" then you can learn stuff that way. Although that's usually also stuff you could get from a websearch too.
And really what puzzles me most is what benefit there is to "friend-ing" people on here or having a coach or a group experience.
I answered that in my first post. This is a lonely road. Do you not find support helpful in life? For anything?
And I have a coach as well. He's helpful to me because he tells me what to do so I don't go crazy, and so that I can get stronger and lift heavier weights-safely.0 -
Yes, it helps immensely. I'm an introvert and I have Asperger syndrome, so aside from going to work and talking to my family and a few friends, it is extremely rare that I socialize much, if at all, on a daily basis. While in the comfort of my own bubble at home, I can still socialize on the internet without it being mentally taxing or having to continuously worry about my eye contact or lack thereof, if I'm missing a social cue, etc. I always have an escape route when I close the app or website. I've learned a lot from the forums and I have all different people on my friends list who make me see things in different ways or put certain things into perspective. Without the social side of MFP, I would have been a 1200 calorie girl and failed miserably on my journey to be healthy and fit.6
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Maxematics wrote: »Yes, it helps immensely. I'm an introvert and I have Asperger syndrome, so…
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I've learned a lot from the forums and I have all different people on my friends list who make me see things in different ways or put certain things into perspective. Without the social side of MFP, I would have been a 1200 calorie girl and failed miserably on my journey to be healthy and fit.
I know a bit about aspergers so that helps. Glad it works for you, too. But you confused me with the "1200 calorie girl" statement. How does that apply?1 -
I guess what I'm looking for is to understand how it helps specifically.
I get it on one level. Like I can see if someone posts asking "does the Atkins plan work" or "what exercises are best for older people" then you can learn stuff that way. Although that's usually also stuff you could get from a websearch too.
And really what puzzles me most is what benefit there is to "friend-ing" people on here or having a coach or a group experience.
One of the downsides that I can see with limiting yourself to Websearching is that often you will get only onesided and very biased reviews/blogs and personal testimonies which can be mis-leading.
Here, I think that there is a lot more balance and a hell of a lot of people who have actually done the hard yards, with varying life circumstances facing problems that you may or may not be able to apply to your own life.
No-one can force you on anything here. MFP may or may not be for you. Only you can decide that.5 -
Maxematics wrote: »Yes, it helps immensely. I'm an introvert and I have Asperger syndrome, so…
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I've learned a lot from the forums and I have all different people on my friends list who make me see things in different ways or put certain things into perspective. Without the social side of MFP, I would have been a 1200 calorie girl and failed miserably on my journey to be healthy and fit.
I know a bit about aspergers so that helps. Glad it works for you, too. But you confused me with the "1200 calorie girl" statement. How does that apply?
A common view that is repeated in the weight loss world outside of MFP is that women only need to eat 1200 calories to lose weight and I used to believe that. Many women believe that; the General section of the forum is filled with posts of people eating 1200 calories, not realizing it is the bare minimum allowance MFP will give. I didn't know that you should only aim to lose around 1% of your body weight per week and always shot for two pounds per week in the past. I didn't know about CICO and how if I move more, I require more food. As dense as it seems, I truly didn't know about it and most people don't. Once I realized that, overall, losing weight was purely mathematical it made everything extremely easy for me to accomplish. In the past, I'd stick to eating 1200 calories and "clean" food when I really wanted to buckle down and shed a few pounds, but would get bored after a while, overly hungry, give up, and fail. It wasn't until reading up on these forums that I realized I was failing because I needed more food, that weight will fluctuate, and weight loss isn't linear. Due to that knowledge, I was able to get from 139 to 108 pounds by eating 1800 to 2200 calories per day instead of 1200, I am easily maintaining the weight loss, and the process never once felt burdensome.9 -
I'm an introvert and shy. I've done, lots of friends (and it was fun and met some great people), and I've done no friends. (Too busy)
Have to agree with the smart ladies. It's good to have people to talk to that understand macros and calories. Outside of mfp not many people do.
There's only one way to find out if you like it, give it a try. There's always the "remove friend" button of you find out it's not your thing.2 -
Yes it helps. I'm an introvert too btw.0
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I am not shy, but I am an introvert. The forums are good places to talk about your fitness journey with others who are just starting out...and with people who have been maintaining their weight & fitness for years. Some of the folks here are very knowledgeable and can point you to resources that are helpful.
Because I can control when and how much interaction I have with other people, and which threads I choose to participate in, I find it to be very helpful and not draining unless somebody is snarky. I have figured out who a few of the smart alecks are and I just avoid them, it's easy. There is even an option to "ignore" somebody, which means their posts will be "whited out" unless you click on it.
So my advice is to participate for awhile and then decide if it's for you. I didn't participate much on the forums 3 years ago, just used it to log my food and progress. That's all I wanted out of the site at that time.
Good luck on your journey.
Don't forget to click on the pale yellow star above the top post of the page of your threads to bookmark them.2 -
I use the social aspect of the site because, well- I like people. I can't say having friends on here has helped me lose weight one way or the other, but the forums do come in handy if you have a question and want to crowdsource the information.
The bottom line is, if you don't want to socialize, don't, if you do, do. Some people find it motivating to have others who are also trying to lose weight, and like to encourage and be encouraged on their weight loss journey.0 -
KetoneKaren wrote: ».
Don't forget to click on the pale yellow star above the top post of the page of your threads to bookmark them.
Heh... yeah, I almost missed that. Also had my notifications set wrong at first.
Since this is basically my first post ever, good advice -- thanks.2 -
@DPHender See? helpful already, yes?
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I'm introverted and really don't need "support" or motivation from strangers to lose weight. I actually accidentally stumbled on the message boards once when I was messing with the app on my phone. I thought it would be nice to see if I can learn anything. Frankly, I've learned that there's a lot of bad info out there and a LOT of people have no idea about nutrition. It is interesting to read some things, but I stay away from the "social" part, the chit chat, etc.
I tend to stick with a couple different areas - nutrition and fitness. I guess you need to see if there's anything you can get out of the message boards. I don't get a lot, but once in a while I learn something new.2 -
This is not a stupid question at all! I'm an introvert as well, but I'm not shy. Just quiet, reserved and really private. I was on here for the longest time without an account just reading and soaking up information in the forums.
I lost 80 pounds on my own and alone without any offline support and I managed fine.
However after I hit maintenance I decided to sign up for an account just for the forums to help me stay on track, but I declined all friend requests.
Then a couple of people became friendly with me and I decided to accept their requests. As time went on their support became invaluable.
Since then I've cultivated a lot of great friendships and met some amazing people.
I've maintained my weight for over 3 years and have completely transformed my body and lifestyle. I honestly don't know where I would be today if I didn't have the extra support. I see so many people gain weight back after some time.
Don't get me wrong, I still disappear or go super quiet once in awhile (lol), but I've explained myself to my important friends. The cool thing about being online is I can come and go easily on my own terms unlike offline gatherings like Christmas parties. Ack!
I say do what you feel is comfortable. Don't force yourself to be active on the forum or feel like you have to add friends.
Good luck OP!!!2 -
So, I am also an introvert. Ordinarily, I am very standoffish with socail media. My FB and IG acounts are really professional things I maintain for recognition (of my work, and of myself) , information (what socail things I have to attend to remain relevent) and networking. I have found MPF to be different. I have friends here that I feel closer to than most people I know in real lofe. I am vulnerable and myself here, and have found really good support, and very little "social nicety" (small talk and taboos and such) that I find in real life or usual socail media interactions.0
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I'm also an introvert, though I can be chatty online at times. For me, the benefit of having MFP friends is that I don't like to talk about my weight loss efforts with my 'real life' friends/family, because (1) it's boring to most people; and (2) it puts too much pressure on me to succeed, so with my MFP friends, I have people there to motivate me in a no-pressure atmosphere, and it makes me feel not so alone in this sometimes-overwhelming endeavour. Plus, I like supporting others.
Ultimately, you have to figure out what works best for you. If that means doing it solo without interaction, great, but for me personally, I'm finding it very motivating to see what other people are doing and having the mutual support of people on similar journeys.1 -
I am an introvert also. Although I am not horribly social, It is nice to log in and see others success and make it seem like its not an unobtainable goal to lose weight. I like when I get a "like" for things that are on my wall also it gives motivation!1
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Maxematics wrote: »Maxematics wrote: »Yes, it helps immensely. I'm an introvert and I have Asperger syndrome, so…
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I've learned a lot from the forums and I have all different people on my friends list who make me see things in different ways or put certain things into perspective. Without the social side of MFP, I would have been a 1200 calorie girl and failed miserably on my journey to be healthy and fit.
I know a bit about aspergers so that helps. Glad it works for you, too. But you confused me with the "1200 calorie girl" statement. How does that apply?
A common view that is repeated in the weight loss world outside of MFP is that women only need to eat 1200 calories to lose weight and I used to believe that. Many women believe that; the General section of the forum is filled with posts of people eating 1200 calories, not realizing it is the bare minimum allowance MFP will give. I didn't know that you should only aim to lose around 1% of your body weight per week and always shot for two pounds per week in the past. I didn't know about CICO and how if I move more, I require more food. As dense as it seems, I truly didn't know about it and most people don't. Once I realized that, overall, losing weight was purely mathematical it made everything extremely easy for me to accomplish. In the past, I'd stick to eating 1200 calories and "clean" food when I really wanted to buckle down and shed a few pounds, but would get bored after a while, overly hungry, give up, and fail. It wasn't until reading up on these forums that I realized I was failing because I needed more food, that weight will fluctuate, and weight loss isn't linear. Due to that knowledge, I was able to get from 139 to 108 pounds by eating 1800 to 2200 calories per day instead of 1200, I am easily maintaining the weight loss, and the process never once felt burdensome.
@DPHender this reply to you by @Maxematics is a great example of the value I find on the MFP forums. One can read a lot of one line statements that are true in and of themselves but it is the "understanding" how all the knowledge works together that helps gets the desired results.
Because I am reading new terms on the MFP forums almost daily using Google Chrome I like to highlight the new term and let Google find other sites using that same term so I can gain an understanding of what that new term may mean.
Welcome to MFP forums and the best of success.1 -
another introvert here. I do better chatting online than in real life. I think a lot of us probably do.1
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I also am basically an introvert and have spent much time just lurking on the site. I rarely if ever read the more social threads, but have learned a lot on the informational ones. I just recently accepted some friends with similar goals and am glad I did. There is a lot of helpful information, along with the occasional snark, just take what you need. Good luck on your journey...I personally believe that I would not be as successful at this weight loss trip without MFP.0
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I enjoy encouraging others and also like the same. I have a WiFi scale that syncs so I often check in to see if I lost or gained weight. It is fun to see what others are doing and when I was logging I was also a food voyer and see who had what for dinner. Regarding friends, I have a rule, if you don't log in for a month you are removed. Not much fun to have friends that don't show up.0
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I'm an introvert, but not shy (anymore) IRL, and especially not online.
I'm pretty nuts'n'bolts unemotional about food & weight loss - I think it's a fun real-world science-fair project for grown-ups - but MFP's social side has helped me, too.
Even as a low-emotions person, I go through periods when I'm feeling less enthusiastic about staying on a healthy track, but seeing friends' workouts and other successes in my social feed helps me stay on course, and re-dedicate myself when necessary. People who've buckled down and achieved a lot are inspiring to me. (Example: A woman around my age who's lost way more than 100 pounds, 18 months or so ago couldn't walk her quarter-mile driveway without resting, who's now going to vigorous workouts near daily and participating in 10Ks.)
I think humans respond subconsciously but powerfully to what they perceive as norms - how other people behave on average. I have RL friends who are quite varied - some of them represent very different norms (exercise is hard/annoying, weight loss isn't worth the work, etc.). MFP's social side gives me a world where the norms are aligned with my goals.
Also, people mention new foods, or ways of preparing them, in diaries or in their feeds, and it's fun (to me) to try new things - so they give me ideas.
The forums - on the reading side of things, mostly - have helped me learn a lot in an applied context. Blogs, research and online publications are fine in their place, but as someone else said (more or less), they're kind of "staged" information, posed in a particular way to make a particular point.
Here, it's more real people talking about their experiences. Among those real people are a few precious folks with a huge level of relevant knowledge and insight - people I'd never meet IRL. After a while, you recognize them. They read the research & popular-press nonsense, and use their (mostly profession-based) expertise to distill it down in ways that are incisive and actionable. It's hard to find that sort of insight online, or in real life.
One thing most people hate IRL is someone who rattles on about their way of eating or their exercise routine, if the hearer doesn't share that passion. But sometimes it's good to talk about one's interests - to talk through alternatives, express new enthusiasms I'm excited about, or the like. MFP is a place I can do that, among the like-minded.
Nowadays, I'm participating more in the forums in "write mode", feeling like I should take a turn trying to cheerfully answer some of the newbie questions in a kind way, to give back some of the positive benefits others have given me.
Jeez, I may be introverted, but I'm danged wordy! 6
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