Do you get told you don't need to lose weight?

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  • Duchy82
    Duchy82 Posts: 560 Member
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    I get it a lot now (still about 10lbs overweight) a group of girls at work are losing weight for some reason or other if we are discussing it I frequently get comments that I don't need to lose any weight (they don't know I have lost 5st already) I just smile or say thanks and then carry on doing what I do, its not for anyone else I'm doing it for me. They are entitled to their opinion but they need to realise I will ignore it lol!
  • rachellynn89
    rachellynn89 Posts: 13 Member
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    All time time... but then I also have other people asking me when I'm due. So, there's that.

    Like others have said, consider the source. They're probably just comparing you to themselves.
  • yesimpson
    yesimpson Posts: 1,372 Member
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    My BMI only ever got up to 25 at my heaviest, and although I never announced I was losing weight or spoke about it, when people around me noticed I got a lot of questions and exclamations about how I wasn't fat. I was 18-19 at the time so it used to get to me. I don't think it would now. You have to be comfortable in your own skin, and for me that's between 19-21 BMI.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    I normally do not because I don't talk about weight stuff. However, at the beginner of this year I was talking to a coworker/friend about trying to lose the last 10 pounds. She said that she was trying to do the same (she lost around 50 pounds a couple of years ago too.) We both looked at each other, said "you don't look like you need to lose that much" and then laughed because both of us agreed that the 10 pounds were all "under the clothes" pounds and not visible to anybody else.
  • 5K85
    5K85 Posts: 98 Member
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    Nope, never
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,966 Member
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    Colorscheme wrote: »
    msalicia116 wrote: »
    I don't get told that because I never bring up my weight or diet with people, so basically not asking for opinions. Someone would have to outright say it on their own, and anyone who knows me wouldn't think to be so blunt as to say something that personal.

    You know what's best for you, and i'm sure your doctor would support your decision.

    Yeah, normally I don't talk about anything diet or exercise related to people, but both her and I are really into fashion/clothing/sewing and I told her that I bought a skirt but it doesn't fit over my thighs and that I hope to fit into it once I lose some weight.

    Thanks for sharing the context. In general, I'm especially cautious about discussing losing weight with someone heavier than me, but the circumstances under which you did it make sense.
  • vespiquenn
    vespiquenn Posts: 1,455 Member
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    I actually get this all the time, whether they know I'm actively losing weight or not. I just always change the subject when it comes to that. I'm 5'9", so my weight is fortunately distributed well, even when I was overweight. That being said, my body fat percentage is higher than what I desire. If they're a bit more knowledgeable with fitness, I often just say that I'm in the middle of a recomposition and they typically understand.

    Essentially, once the conversation ends, they're going to stop caring about my weight or body because it doesn't pertain to them, so I don't let it bother me.
  • Colorscheme
    Colorscheme Posts: 1,179 Member
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    msalicia116 wrote: »
    @Colorscheme Just out of curiosity, but why didn't you just tell her according to your bmi, you're over weight and want to be healthy? The reason I ask is because you said she is obese, and maybe she doesn't understand bmi and how it can and does affect health, which applies to everyone. Now that's body positive. However, your condition doesn't, so the idea will be discarded. Just a thought that occurred to me for some reason.

    I ended up saying I take bp meds and beta blockers and am a few pounds overweight, and losing weight should help me feel better a bit.

    You're right and maybe her perception of health is skewed a bit.
  • DebSozo
    DebSozo Posts: 2,578 Member
    edited July 2016
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    jemhh wrote: »
    I normally do not because I don't talk about weight stuff. However, at the beginner of this year I was talking to a coworker/friend about trying to lose the last 10 pounds. She said that she was trying to do the same (she lost around 50 pounds a couple of years ago too.) We both looked at each other, said "you don't look like you need to lose that much" and then laughed because both of us agreed that the 10 pounds were all "under the clothes" pounds and not visible to anybody else.
    Ugh.. It's easy to hide the 10 pounds under clothes but not in a bikini. I want to be comfortable at the pool!
  • Soy_K
    Soy_K Posts: 246 Member
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    It's your body and only you know what feels good and healthy to you. Whether it's that you feel great and happy when you're little chunkier or when you're a bit thinner - I think it's a very personal choice and ultimately your business (not someone else's). They don't live in your body! Unless dealing with disordered eating/serious body image issues I think you should do what you want to do with your body to make yourself feel healthy and confident.
  • msalicia116
    msalicia116 Posts: 233 Member
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    @Colorscheme I think it was your comment that she is "one of those body positive, HAES kind of a person".

    I find it confusing how body positive translated to big is beautiful instead of healthy is beautiful. I think those lines blurred quite a bit in that campaign unfortunately, from a health perspective.
  • fitgirldc
    fitgirldc Posts: 55 Member
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    People tell me I don't need to lose weight all the time and I didn't ask for their opinion. They often put me in defensive mode when they begin critiquing. I haven't been able to find something that will shut them dwn yet. I'm assuming people don't realize when they've crossed the line of Mind Yo Business! I would never tell someone they need to lose weight outside of my professional obligations.
  • DebSozo
    DebSozo Posts: 2,578 Member
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    fitgirldc wrote: »
    People tell me I don't need to lose weight all the time and I didn't ask for their opinion. They often put me in defensive mode when they begin critiquing. I haven't been able to find something that will shut them dwn yet. I'm assuming people don't realize when they've crossed the line of Mind Yo Business! I would never tell someone they need to lose weight outside of my professional obligations.

    Just say "thanks". They usually are sincere. I used to get that all the time. You know what? They were righr! Now I would love to be that weight again

    B) .
  • fitgirldc
    fitgirldc Posts: 55 Member
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    DebSozo wrote: »
    fitgirldc wrote: »
    People tell me I don't need to lose weight all the time and I didn't ask for their opinion. They often put me in defensive mode when they begin critiquing. I haven't been able to find something that will shut them dwn yet. I'm assuming people don't realize when they've crossed the line of Mind Yo Business! I would never tell someone they need to lose weight outside of my professional obligations.

    Just say "thanks". They usually are sincere. I used to get that all the time. You know what? They were righr! Now I would love to be that weight again

    B) .

    Thank you Deb! How about that! That's the One response I haven't used! LOL!

  • AmyRhubarb
    AmyRhubarb Posts: 6,890 Member
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    Some people said I didn't need to lose any, but once I'd dropped about 15-20 pounds, my aunt in particular was like, "oh yeah, you do look healthier now"! And at some point I learned that whenever someone asked if I was still trying to lose weight or something along those lines, I'd just answer with, 'nope, but I am trying to lower my body fat percentage" or something like that, and it usually shut them right up. :)
  • msalicia116
    msalicia116 Posts: 233 Member
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    ^ I would be pretty uncomfortable for my weight to be such a topic of conversation! You handle it well.
  • AmyRhubarb
    AmyRhubarb Posts: 6,890 Member
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    msalicia116 wrote: »
    ^ I would be pretty uncomfortable for my weight to be such a topic of conversation! You handle it well.

    My aunt and I are pretty close, so it was no big deal. :) But others who asked once I was visibly smaller, mostly relatives and my mother (who always worries about me, no matter how old I get), who seemed to think I was going to get too thin or must be starving myself. Which is really silly, given that these conversations usually happened over weekly meals, where I was the one going back for seconds on things, and always having dessert! LOL
  • Colorscheme
    Colorscheme Posts: 1,179 Member
    edited July 2016
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    devil_in_a_blue_dress wrote: »
    I think "you don't need to lose weight" is a common thing to say when a woman who isn't obviously overweight when she says she wants to lose weight -- because eating disorders and disordered thinking about food/warped perspective of themselves are so common. I think the intent is usually good. They just want want their friend/family member thinking they need to lose weight to look like unrealistic examples.

    HAES and body positivity is really supposed to just encourage people to embrace the body you have and do the best you can to take care of you -- ie that your self worth shouldn't be tied to your physical size and that even if you are over weight, you should be active and take of yourself as best as you can (because as you well know OP, chronic health issues can strike even if you aren't morbidly obese).

    All you can do is you - I have people tell me I don't need to lose more weight. But they don't know what my goals are (and they aren't thinness - that's for sure) and they usually don't really know me well enough to know I don't suffer from any kind of eating disorder or body image issue.

    I was 130-140 lbs when I got ill. I think I got the short end of the stick sometimes because what 20 something year old without heart disease gets cardiac problems? It's not like I was born ill. It is baffling to a dr to be at a good weight and have high blood pressure even though I eat low sodium. And in the last 20 months, I've had four surgeries. But let me tell you...even though I was thinner when I was diagnosed with hyperadrenergic POTS, I felt like crap. Body pain all the time [knees and legs specifically], no stamina for anything, etc. Exercising has helped soooooo much. It really is true, the more you move the better you feel.

    I still suffer from fatigue a bit and always will but at least I can get through the whole day without a nap. And I can take care of my son.

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