Do you get told you don't need to lose weight?
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When people's mouth is saying "You don't need to", their mind is thinking "I don't want to."11
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JeromeBarry1 wrote: »When people's mouth is saying "You don't need to", their mind is thinking "I don't want to."
OMG...I've never heard it said that way. I do believe you are right!!
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I hear it a lot. Of course I am in recovery for an eating disorder so I take it as the people I care about not wanting to see me go down that path again.0
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I have family members who don't want me to lose weight. So I tell them my body is changing because of exercise. They accept that and stop moaning most of the time. None the wiser.
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I have a big problems with this my mum in fact is so against me losing weight that she sabotages me and buys me junk food on purpose when she knows im dieting. Im overweight occarding to my bmi but my mum is scared ill get an eating disorder. I get it but my weight slowely rising and i need to do something about it.0
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At grandma's birthday, my mother in law asked me if I've lost some weight, I actually got nervous. I was also fasting at that time, so I responded with: "Yes, I have. Not because of the fasting, but because I've worked on it longer."
Oh boy.
Ooooh, she noticed earlier but didn't dare to ask me, because she doesn't see me that often. But my face got slimmer and my arms are o so tiny. Well, good job. Buy don't lose any more weight!
And jep, auntie agreed. Don't lose anymore! And grandma agreed too... The males didn't dare to say something about it.
I'm still going to cut, until I'm 115 lbs. Then I'm going to decide if I want to cut more, or recomp, bulk, etc.3 -
I think friends say it because it's just a nice thing to say. You know, like when someone says they're on a diet so you're like "oh you don't need to diet". I know I say that sometimes because otherwise I feel like I'm agreeing to calling them fat lol I definitely don't do it to not be supportive. But yeah, I've been told from the beginning from my grandma that I don't need to lose weight, but she watches too much TV and her main concern is me getting an eating disorder. I just ignore her most of the time. That's the best thing to do. Tell the people who don't support you that you do have some extra pounds to lose and that you're doing it the healthy way. The only reason people should have a say in your weight loss is if they're worried about your health, which I understand, so if you tell them you're not starving yourself or anything than they shouldn't have anything to say beyond that. If they do, it's irrelevant. Like everyone else said, it's your body so how it looks is up to you!0
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I'd never tell someone I don't think they need to lose weight, unless I thought they were doing something dangerous... like if they were already really tiny and dieting to an unhealthy level, that would be different. But other than that, it's not for me to say what someone else does with their body! If they are uncomfortable with their body, and think they need to lose weight, then that's for them to decide!0
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I get dragged into food based conversations all of the time. I work in the paving industry, so I am surrounded by...excessively robust individuals on a daily basis. I used to be one myself. So of course, half ask me how I lost so much weight, am keeping it off, etc. Out of everyone that I have explained the simplicity to, only one could actually be *kitten* to follow CICO advice, and the weighing of food. Funny, he's the only one who's not still a landwhale.
The other half just insist upon telling me that I need to eat more. Distorted perception, is my best guess.4 -
Look, its considered hugely crass in this country to answer any comment about weight with "You're fat, lose more weight." I'm 46 years old and I work at a college and I listen to these conversations between young women ALL THE TIME, and they have not changed since I was in school.
The social script here is:
"OMG! I'm so fat! I have to lose, like, 20 pounds!"
"No, YOU'RE not fat! I"M so fat! You look great! I'm the one who needs to lose 20 pounds!"
"NO! YOU look great! But me, Iam SO FAT!"
Repeat ad infinitum.
None of those conversations reflect what people actually believe. They are a script we all learned in middle school. They're not "ignorant of BMI" or "refusing to accept they're the ones that need to lose." They don't actually mean that they think you don't have more to lose. They're just following the script.9 -
Yep... but the bottom line is... you do this for you. I just answer with "well this is something I need to do for myself for my self esteem... for my fitness level.. etc" I'm a runner... so of course, as I lose weight, my running performance will increase. Unless you're dealing with an eating disorder, whether or not you lose weight is all you, baby.4
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Look, its considered hugely crass in this country to answer any comment about weight with "You're fat, lose more weight." I'm 46 years old and I work at a college and I listen to these conversations between young women ALL THE TIME, and they have not changed since I was in school.
The social script here is:
"OMG! I'm so fat! I have to lose, like, 20 pounds!"
"No, YOU'RE not fat! I"M so fat! You look great! I'm the one who needs to lose 20 pounds!"
"NO! YOU look great! But me, Iam SO FAT!"
Repeat ad infinitum.
None of those conversations reflect what people actually believe. They are a script we all learned in middle school. They're not "ignorant of BMI" or "refusing to accept they're the ones that need to lose." They don't actually mean that they think you don't have more to lose. They're just following the script.
I think this is a little different to what the OP is saying. This script is a typical teenage girl rooting for compliments. Obviously her friends are saying exactly what she wants to hear. I think that the OP is frustrated because she is actually trying to lose weight for health reasons but because she probably looks fairly slim at her weight, she is told by others that she doesn't need to.
Personally I think that is almost as rude as telling someone that you think they do need to lose weight. It's disrespectful because she is an adult who has made a decision about her body. Why would anyone think it's ok to tell someone what you think they should do with their body unless you were concerned for their safety? It's just unnecessary so I sympathise with the OP.
(Even though I most definitely AM overweight and have never been told I don't need to lose weight Heehee.) 1 -
"Do you get told you don't need to lose weight?"
Nope. My decision, my action, my results.2 -
Look, its considered hugely crass in this country to answer any comment about weight with "You're fat, lose more weight." I'm 46 years old and I work at a college and I listen to these conversations between young women ALL THE TIME, and they have not changed since I was in school.
The social script here is:
"OMG! I'm so fat! I have to lose, like, 20 pounds!"
"No, YOU'RE not fat! I"M so fat! You look great! I'm the one who needs to lose 20 pounds!"
"NO! YOU look great! But me, Iam SO FAT!"
Repeat ad infinitum.
None of those conversations reflect what people actually believe. They are a script we all learned in middle school. They're not "ignorant of BMI" or "refusing to accept they're the ones that need to lose." They don't actually mean that they think you don't have more to lose. They're just following the script.
I think this is a little different to what the OP is saying. This script is a typical teenage girl rooting for compliments. Obviously her friends are saying exactly what she wants to hear. I think that the OP is frustrated because she is actually trying to lose weight for health reasons but because she probably looks fairly slim at her weight, she is told by others that she doesn't need to.
Personally I think that is almost as rude as telling someone that you think they do need to lose weight. It's disrespectful because she is an adult who has made a decision about her body. Why would anyone think it's ok to tell someone what you think they should do with their body unless you were concerned for their safety? It's just unnecessary so I sympathise with the OP.
(Even though I most definitely AM overweight and have never been told I don't need to lose weight Heehee.)
How is telling someone they're too skinny and going to be anorexic if they don't stop a part of the script?0 -
I get it all the time and I'm 100lbs overweight. Usually in response to me not eating a whole pie or going to the gym. Like *kitten* right off.
ETA: I had a friend over at my apartment one night. In my apartment, I have a white board where I keep track of measurements and goals. While I was in the bathroom, she decided to erase the whole thing and write "perfect" all over it. She couldn't understand why I was mad.2 -
Look, its considered hugely crass in this country to answer any comment about weight with "You're fat, lose more weight." I'm 46 years old and I work at a college and I listen to these conversations between young women ALL THE TIME, and they have not changed since I was in school.
The social script here is:
"OMG! I'm so fat! I have to lose, like, 20 pounds!"
"No, YOU'RE not fat! I"M so fat! You look great! I'm the one who needs to lose 20 pounds!"
"NO! YOU look great! But me, Iam SO FAT!"
Repeat ad infinitum.
None of those conversations reflect what people actually believe. They are a script we all learned in middle school. They're not "ignorant of BMI" or "refusing to accept they're the ones that need to lose." They don't actually mean that they think you don't have more to lose. They're just following the script.
I think this is a little different to what the OP is saying. This script is a typical teenage girl rooting for compliments. Obviously her friends are saying exactly what she wants to hear. I think that the OP is frustrated because she is actually trying to lose weight for health reasons but because she probably looks fairly slim at her weight, she is told by others that she doesn't need to.
Personally I think that is almost as rude as telling someone that you think they do need to lose weight. It's disrespectful because she is an adult who has made a decision about her body. Why would anyone think it's ok to tell someone what you think they should do with their body unless you were concerned for their safety? It's just unnecessary so I sympathise with the OP.
(Even though I most definitely AM overweight and have never been told I don't need to lose weight Heehee.)
Yeah, I have a lot of body fat but it hides in my boobs and upper thighs, with a narrow waist and very thin legs in comparison. So I can totally see how I look like I'm a at a normal weight from an outsider's perspective. But I gotta say, Im looking forward to hopefully losing my boobs. I'm a D and on my small frame, it causes back pain.1 -
When I'm at a "normal" BMI, its all in my legs and butt. I have the arms and neck of an underweight person and the butt and thighs of a normal-to-overweight person, so I also see how someone could look at my collarbone and wrists/hands and think "Um, no."0
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PaulaWallaDingDong wrote: »Look, its considered hugely crass in this country to answer any comment about weight with "You're fat, lose more weight." I'm 46 years old and I work at a college and I listen to these conversations between young women ALL THE TIME, and they have not changed since I was in school.
The social script here is:
"OMG! I'm so fat! I have to lose, like, 20 pounds!"
"No, YOU'RE not fat! I"M so fat! You look great! I'm the one who needs to lose 20 pounds!"
"NO! YOU look great! But me, Iam SO FAT!"
Repeat ad infinitum.
None of those conversations reflect what people actually believe. They are a script we all learned in middle school. They're not "ignorant of BMI" or "refusing to accept they're the ones that need to lose." They don't actually mean that they think you don't have more to lose. They're just following the script.
I think this is a little different to what the OP is saying. This script is a typical teenage girl rooting for compliments. Obviously her friends are saying exactly what she wants to hear. I think that the OP is frustrated because she is actually trying to lose weight for health reasons but because she probably looks fairly slim at her weight, she is told by others that she doesn't need to.
Personally I think that is almost as rude as telling someone that you think they do need to lose weight. It's disrespectful because she is an adult who has made a decision about her body. Why would anyone think it's ok to tell someone what you think they should do with their body unless you were concerned for their safety? It's just unnecessary so I sympathise with the OP.
(Even though I most definitely AM overweight and have never been told I don't need to lose weight Heehee.)
How is telling someone they're too skinny and going to be anorexic if they don't stop a part of the script?
Anorexia is a mental disorder that is not that common. Because obesity is such a epidemic our perception of what a healthy weight actually looks like is greatly skewed. Striving to be at the lower end of the BMI scale is not anorexia.1 -
@Colorscheme I get you girl! I was a size 32GG when I began my cut in May. I am going to get resized and get a new bra and swimming suit next month and I am praying that I have shrank down to a size that is actually carried in regular stores.0
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@Colorscheme I get you girl! I was a size 32GG when I began my cut in May. I am going to get resized and get a new bra and swimming suit next month and I am prying that I have shank down to a size that is actually carried in regular stores.
Wowwwwww! does your back kill you? mine does and I'm not nearly as big busted as you are. But I guess because my boobs are huge in comparison to my ribcage and torso, it still affects my back.0
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