340 to 189 Naturally. Or Maybe UNnaturally. Pics.

This will be a long post and there are pics at the bottom.


So, let's speak some truth about being over 300 pounds. (or at least my truth):

1. You aren't necessarily crazy about a lot of the photos people take of you so when you DO lose weight, you sometimes have a hard time finding ways to compare your progress.

2. Travelling is hard. Airline seats suck. Bus seats suck. Stair-climbing sucks. Going through turnstiles sucks. Forget amusement parks. Vacations can really be limited based on your mobility and inability to "fit" where the world thinks you need to fit.

3. People will make comments about your body.

4. People will talk to you as if you don't know you are fat by saying things like "large", "plump", or other words that avoid saying the word "fat".

5. Your body will hurt like hell.

6. Even if you really love yourself and love the way you look, you will long to be able to shop for cuter clothes, wear heels, or just find a purse that fits over your large arms.

7. You'll be hungry (even if just mentally) almost all the time.



Now for some truth about being 189 pounds:

1. You might be a little more happy about the way you look in photos but you might not recognize or connect with the thinner version of yourself. You might even feel like a traitor to the woman you were before that you worked so hard to love.

2. Travelling won't be as hard but it will still suck. Your skin won't be as tight and you will be aware of it when you put on a swimsuit. You might decide to say "screw it" and wear the swimsuit anyway. You will be agog that you fit in airline seats, fit through turnstiles, and don't worry that you will break restaurant chairs.

3. People will STILL make comments about your body. Both your old body and your new body. They will assume you've had gastric bypass even if you show them a scar-free stomach.

4. People will talk about your old body in hurtful ways. You will resent the hell out of it.

5. Your body won't hurt as much but there will be lasting damage to your knees or ankles. You might be free of sleep apnea for the first time in 20 years. You'll be able to climb stairs without pain.

6. Even if you really love yourself and love the way you look, you might miss your old coping mechanisms of binging.

7. You'll be hungry (even if just mentally) almost all the time.



How did I lose my weight and how long did it take me?

In October of 2014 I came home from work and found my beloved Golden Retriever dead by the front door. I was so depressed for the next several weeks that I lost 30 pounds in 30 days. After 2 months, I had lost 50 pounds just from crying all the time and not eating and my wife insisted that she was going to have me taken to an inpatient facility if I didn't get my shizz together and start eating. Binging had always been my coping mechanism and I just wasnt doing that behavior anymore to get through my grief.
I decided to make a positive out of the negative and bought a Fitbit, an Aria scale, and started tracking my food here at MFP. I employed the help of friends to keep me on track and got a good weightloss-buddy to check in with every day. I stopped eating meat for the most part, I stopped soda, I stopped a lot of processed food. The weight fell off in huge bursts. I looked up one day and had lost 100 pounds in 6 months and decided to keep going.

It has NOT all been easy or rainbows and kittens. I have lost friendships, my marriage, and have suffered some depression around not being able to recognize myself some days. But for the most part? I'm happy and joyous and feeling connection with my body in ways that mean the world to me.

At my heaviest I weighed around 345 pounds. I'm now between 188 - 199 depending on fluctuations. I still want to lose about 40 more pounds.