Help... I think I use food as a substitute to an orgasm

kittyy250 · August 2016

Hi everyone
I don't mean to be crass or anything like that with this thread but I wanna know if anyone has a similar issue

My partner and I have been together for 4 years and not once in that time has he bought me to orgasm during sex (or any way for that matter)

I think I might be using food as a substitute for this pleasure as after he leaves I am dissapojnted and I feel like I want to eat.

I think part of the reason why I can't reach orgasm is the fact that I am a bit body conscious too, but he makes me feel sexy most of the time!!

Aaahh! I don't know

Does anyone else have this issue- filling the great sex void with food!?

scoii · August 2016

DIY

kittyy250 · August 2016

scoii wrote: »

DIY

Yeah I know, but I think it's an intimacy thing

TavistockToad · August 2016

kittyy250 wrote: »

scoii wrote: »

DIY

Yeah I know, but I think it's an intimacy thing

does he know he's never made you orgasm?

kittyy250 · August 2016

TavistockToad wrote: »

kittyy250 wrote: »

scoii wrote: »

DIY

Yeah I know, but I think it's an intimacy thing

does he know he's never made you orgasm?

Yeah he knows but that thread isn't about that it's about the substitution with food

TavistockToad · August 2016

kittyy250 wrote: »

TavistockToad wrote: »

kittyy250 wrote: »

scoii wrote: »

DIY

Yeah I know, but I think it's an intimacy thing

does he know he's never made you orgasm?

Yeah he knows but that thread isn't about that it's about the substitution with food

well if you sort the orgasm situation out, food wont be a problem, will it?!

caradack1985 · August 2016

Yes, but the easiest way to stop you substituting sex with food is to get your sex life on track. I'd recommend DIY and a long talk with your partner.

Sued0nim · August 2016

So if that's what you are consciously aware of doing ...stop doing it!

This is not rocket science

Fix your relationship with food

And fix your relationship

Both involve commitment to change

nutmegoreo · August 2016

I'm sure this is leaving him feeling great. Take matters into your own hands and stop trying to blame him for it (both situations).

Mentali · August 2016

If he is interested in making it work but just hasn't been able to and got discouraged, talk to him and let him know it's important to you and try some different things until it happens. Stressing about it doesn't help, it can be a completely lighthearted, fun conversation about things you can try.

If he just doesn't care about making sure you're satisfied, then it sounds like the issue is the boyfriend, not the orgasms.

jammer1963 · August 2016

kittyy250 wrote: »

Hi everyone
I don't mean to be crass or anything like that with this thread but I wanna know if anyone has a similar issue

My partner and I have been together for 4 years and not once in that time has he bought me to orgasm during sex (or any way for that matter)

I think I might be using food as a substitute for this pleasure as after he leaves I am dissapojnted and I feel like I want to eat.

I think part of the reason why I can't reach orgasm is the fact that I am a bit body conscious too, but he makes me feel sexy most of the time!!

Aaahh! I don't know

Does anyone else have this issue- filling the great sex void with food!?

The brain is the biggest sex organ of all. Sure, there is the physical aspect but if you can't stimulate someones mind, then it's just not as fulfilling. It sounds like no matter how sexy you say he makes you feel, you just don't believe it. Do you find him sexy? Does he fulfill you emotionally? Try some role playing, but it sounds like you have to believe in yourself first. Has it always been this way with men or just him in-particular? I know, I'm a nosey *kitten* but you asked. LOL and good luck

gooseberry68 · August 2016

I am new here and don't know anyone and am still trying to figure out this site...but I saw this thread and just wanted to let you know that I did see you.

I don't have this problem, as I am single (and I am not sexually active.) However, I did see where someone has suggested you speak with him. That would have to be a very delicate and sensitive discussion, I'm sure. But honesty is the only way for a relationship to work. I know that this particular thing is not what the thread is about, but unless you can get things sorted out and on track without him ever knowing, either you both are left disappointed, or you are faking it, and that gets back to the honesty issue. I'm sure other people substitute food for sexual pleasure, food (or any substance) can be misused to combat loneliness, stress, depression and I'm sure, sex. It seems that things may stem from your own insecurities about your body and if you aren't feeling desirable, then that will make things really difficult. Speaking (typing) as gently as I can...it is not *his* job to make you feel sexy. That must come from how you feel about yourself and he will respond to you. Sexy doesn't have to be tacky, with down to there cleavage and tight, short outfits. Sexy is someone comfortable in their own skin and relaxed about who they are. I think that is sexy. It is your job to do what you need to to get there...losing weight, exercising, counseling, whatever you need to feel good about your body. It doesn't have to be perfect...it just needs to feel appreciated and compassion. I am working on that, too.

Well, I hope my little ramblings helped a bit. Take care of you and be kind to yourself.

Need2Exerc1se · August 2016

It's actually pretty common. Have you tried toys, especially those of the battery operated nature? Either together with him or by yourself if he or you are not comfortable incorporating them into your current routine.

shandy4487 · August 2016

kittyy250 wrote: »

My partner and I have been together for 4 years and not once in that time has he bought me to orgasm during sex (or any way for that matter)

I think I might be using food as a substitute for this pleasure as after he leaves I am dissapojnted and I feel like I want to eat.

Does he leave after sex? Like, right after? Just wanted to ask before I give any opinions

kshama2001 · August 2016

kittyy250 wrote: »

Hi everyone
I don't mean to be crass or anything like that with this thread but I wanna know if anyone has a similar issue

My partner and I have been together for 4 years and not once in that time has he bought me to orgasm during sex (or any way for that matter)

I think I might be using food as a substitute for this pleasure as after he leaves I am dissapojnted and I feel like I want to eat.

I think part of the reason why I can't reach orgasm is the fact that I am a bit body conscious too, but he makes me feel sexy most of the time!!

Aaahh! I don't know

Does anyone else have this issue- filling the great sex void with food!?

I don't orgasm with PIV or oral either. I'm just wired that way and don't have a problem with it. Eroscillator and the Hitachi Magic Wand FTW! Both available on Amazon.

SideSteel · August 2016

OPs diet:

Carrots
Cucumbers
Sausages
Zucchini
Hot Dogs
Salami

Ok joking aside, I think you need to have a chat with him.

AJF230 · August 2016

Maybe consult your doctor. But the food thing...you need to work that out.

NorthCascades · August 2016

As good as really good food can be, it's a pretty hollow replacement for being given an orgasm. I'd rather give food up if I had to choose.

I agree with other people who say you should fix this, and from what you've described your food issue should follow.

zoeysasha37 · August 2016

kshama2001 wrote: »

kittyy250 wrote: »

Hi everyone
I don't mean to be crass or anything like that with this thread but I wanna know if anyone has a similar issue

My partner and I have been together for 4 years and not once in that time has he bought me to orgasm during sex (or any way for that matter)

I think I might be using food as a substitute for this pleasure as after he leaves I am dissapojnted and I feel like I want to eat.

I think part of the reason why I can't reach orgasm is the fact that I am a bit body conscious too, but he makes me feel sexy most of the time!!

Aaahh! I don't know

Does anyone else have this issue- filling the great sex void with food!?

I don't orgasm with PIV or oral either. I'm just wired that way and don't have a problem with it. Eroscillator and the Hitachi Magic Wand FTW! Both available on Amazon.

Could yoga fix that issue??

Lol I'm just kidding, don't get your panties in a bunch.

absentmindedhousewife · August 2016

You're responsible for what you put in your mouth.

You're also responsible for your own orgasm. That means clear communication with him, with yourself, and coming to some realizations before you're sexual in any context so you can do what you need to do to reach orgasm.

Food and lack of orgasms are just symptoms. What's the bigger picture here? No need to answer that here but there is a reason you're avoiding intimacy and vulnerability.

Zedeff · August 2016

I find pastrami to be the most sensuous of the salted, cured meats.

cerise_noir · August 2016

scoii wrote: »

DIY

Yep.. DIY with him. And watch 'movies' with him.

gothchiq · August 2016

I think I'd beat him about the head and shoulders with a large summer sausage. then eat it. I don't do it with ppl who never bring me satisfaction.

PaulaWallaDingDong · August 2016

Getting a partner to give you an orgasm is 99% communication. Don't be shy about giving direction. As long as he's listening and not relying on his mad woman-pleasing skills (fellas, pay attention!), it'll get done. Get to the bottom of that mess and the food problem will be solved.

jshirley420p · August 2016

Use a cucumber to help with the "O" issue, if it fails, it's atleast a healthy snack

goldthistime · August 2016

Do you turn to food for comfort for in other situations too? Are you already logging? If so, how's that going in general?

bagge72 · August 2016

I would try shakeology, or plexus. It seems to cure everything. Or just figure yourself out, and teach him what you are doing, or be a little helper while he is doing his thing.