feeling guilty about working out because i have small children

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  • ChelzFit
    ChelzFit Posts: 292 Member
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    I am a SAHM and have a 1 year old and 2 year old. I take them daily to the YMCA daycare so I can get my exercise fix. I actually feel better taking them there compared to staying at home with me, they are learning to socialize with others and it gets us out of the house. It makes for one LONG morning if we don't go. We have such a routine of going, my 2 year old will cry if we don't go.
  • tiggerlove
    tiggerlove Posts: 225 Member
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    No reason to feel guilty..ur setting an example for your kids. When my daughter was 1 and my son 4 they would copy me...Now my daughter is 3 and she still copies my moves..the easy one and my son who is 6 has ShaunT workout for kids and he love it. The point is you want to be healthy for yourself and your kids and they will grow up wanted to be healthy and workout also.
  • nikki8412
    nikki8412 Posts: 108 Member
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    Thank you for being open about this. Girllll, me too and I love working out! I have a one year old and I know I have to do it for myself and my sanity but I do feel bad sometimes. Like this weekend I want to do a cardio class but I have another obligation that day for about 6 hours and I will barely see her awake that day. I just take it day by day. My husband always reassures me and I know she's just fine but STILL. Can't help feeling sad/self-absorbed sometimes.
  • jenlyons21
    jenlyons21 Posts: 19 Member
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    thanks for the input everyone, i have been doing really well with my working out and managing time with the family and work. im starting to not feel as guilty especially now that i have lost 10 pounds and actually have more energy to play with my kiddos when i get home! really is a life changer.
  • BrianSharpe
    BrianSharpe Posts: 9,248 Member
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    Everyone, including parents with younger children need and deserve a little time for themselves. Your workouts make you healthier and presumably happier which probably also makes you a better parent.

  • firef1y72
    firef1y72 Posts: 1,579 Member
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    jenlyons21 wrote: »
    Hello! I was just wondering if anyone else feels the guilt of working out while they are married with small children? I am married and have a 1 year old and a 4 year old and I also work a full time job, so when i go to work out I feel so much guilt, it sometimes will stop me from going to the gym or for a run because I feel like I should be at home with my family.

    I can understand where you're coming from, I've got a 2 year old and autistic 6 year old and if I let myself I could feel guilty about the time I spend at the gym. Only that is my time for letting off steam, so I can better deal with them and both boys have noticed that Mummy now has more energy to play and do the fun stuff with them.
  • leajas1
    leajas1 Posts: 823 Member
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    I've got two daughters, work full-time, and am married to a husband who works full-time. I work out 6 days a week and don't feel guilty about it one bit. It's self-care and is every bit as important as family time. You're a great example to your children - keep going!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,526 Member
    edited August 2016
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    amyn73 wrote: »
    All these judgmental people talking about being good examples ... I get it but I get the OP's view. We only have so many hours in our day. Each hour with our kids, especially with work and school, is a priority. Eventually we run out of time. Do we short change them or exercise?? And before anyone starts in on "get up early", forget it! I don't know about anyone else but I'm tired after working all day and doing all my other "jobs". I don't need one hour less sleep to add to my fatigue.
    Judgemental? There are 24 hours in a day. 16 if you get 8 hours of sleep. 6 hours left if you have a 10 hour work day including commute. If you're saying in 6 hours even 30 minutes is TOO MUCH to "sacrifice" for yourself, then it sounds like it's more an issue of organizing time and not being that concerned about your own health and well being. How can one be a great parent and teach someone to take care of themselves FIRST, if they aren't willing to do it for themselves? Do you wonder why the last couple of decades that childhood obesity has risen significantly?

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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  • leajas1
    leajas1 Posts: 823 Member
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    ninerbuff wrote: »
    amyn73 wrote: »
    All these judgmental people talking about being good examples ... I get it but I get the OP's view. We only have so many hours in our day. Each hour with our kids, especially with work and school, is a priority. Eventually we run out of time. Do we short change them or exercise?? And before anyone starts in on "get up early", forget it! I don't know about anyone else but I'm tired after working all day and doing all my other "jobs". I don't need one hour less sleep to add to my fatigue.
    Judgemental? There are 24 hours in a day. 16 if you get 8 hours of sleep. 6 hours left if you have a 10 hour work day including commute. If you're saying in 6 hours even 30 minutes is TOO MUCH to "sacrifice" for yourself, then it sounds like it's more an issue of organizing time and not being that concerned about your own health and well being. How can one be a great parent and teach someone to take care of themselves FIRST, if they aren't willing to do it for themselves? Do you wonder why the last couple of decades that childhood obesity has risen significantly?

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    9285851.png


    Thank you - well said.
  • HealthierRayne
    HealthierRayne Posts: 268 Member
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    Be active with your children, take them to the park and play with them... that's exercise for you too. Run and play tag in the yard, bike ride, swim, running with them in a stroller etc. Use your kids as your weights to do body weight exercises - holding them while you do squats, pushing them up in the air over your head etc. All these things are fun interactions with your children and exercise for you. Much better than just being home on the couch watching TV etc with them.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,526 Member
    edited August 2016
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    Here's some facts: Parents who have an active lifestyle have a higher incidence of their children being more physically active and lower obesity risk.
    Parents who have a non active lifestyle have a higher incidence of children with issues of being overweight and higher risk of obesity as an adult.
    While yes it's a correlation, children learn from parental habits in most cases through life.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    9285851.png
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
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    I haven't read all your responses, but you don't HAVE to work out 6 days a week. 2 or 3 times a week and a healthy diet is just fine.
  • sculli123
    sculli123 Posts: 1,221 Member
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    Never once had guilt about working out. When my kids were small I just worked out at home while they played in the same area I was working out in. I had a pretty good home gym setup and there was room for them to play and / or pretend to workout with me.

    Another thing you could do would be workout in the morning before work or before they get up. Which is basically what I do now. I go to the gym in the morning before work so I have more time to spend with the wife when I get home.
  • chunky_pinup
    chunky_pinup Posts: 758 Member
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    amyn73 wrote: »
    All these judgmental people talking about being good examples ... I get it but I get the OP's view. We only have so many hours in our day. Each hour with our kids, especially with work and school, is a priority. Eventually we run out of time. Do we short change them or exercise?? And before anyone starts in on "get up early", forget it! I don't know about anyone else but I'm tired after working all day and doing all my other "jobs". I don't need one hour less sleep to add to my fatigue.

    I haven't seen any judgements. I'm not sure what thread you're reading. And if you're worried about one less hour of sleep, you could always go to bed an hour early, which is what I've had to do. I also started going at 4:30am to avoid losing those precious few hours with my child during the work week. My husband and I work different shifts, so fitting it in at any other time is nearly impossible. I hate it. I really do. I will NEVER be a morning person. I work 60 hours a week, plus on call, and I have all those other "jobs" too...nobody is passing judgement. I haven't seen a single person doing so thus far.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,874 Member
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    amyn73 wrote: »
    All these judgmental people talking about being good examples ... I get it but I get the OP's view. We only have so many hours in our day. Each hour with our kids, especially with work and school, is a priority. Eventually we run out of time. Do we short change them or exercise?? And before anyone starts in on "get up early", forget it! I don't know about anyone else but I'm tired after working all day and doing all my other "jobs". I don't need one hour less sleep to add to my fatigue.

    I don't see anyone being judgmental...and yeah...kids tend to learn by example. My boys are really into their bikes primarily because I and my wife cycle...they watched me race last Sunday and basically spent the rest of the afternoon on their bikes rather than shoving their faces into some tablet screen...they were inspired...they thought it was cool to see daddy race...they wanted to race and pretended racing all afternoon.

    Also, I think the idea that being healthy, fit, and active and taking care of yourself is somehow short changing the children to be ridiculous. First off, I want my kids to be healthy, fit, and active...the best way to promote that is by example. Secondly, fitness gives both my wife and I opportunities to one; have some time to ourselves, and two; It allows us to spend time with our kids one on one which provides for a different dynamic and bonding than when we're all together. So yeah..the idea that this is somehow short changing the kids is pretty small minded and short sited.

    Fitness doesn't have to take a gazillion hours...a good workout can be had in 30 - 60 minutes...my boys aren't even going to notice if I'm gone 30 - 60 minutes. My kids and my family are my highest priority, but it doesn't mean I have to be with them every available moment...taking care of myself is important...having time to myself is important to my mental healthy...having time with them one on one is important and provides an awesome bonding experience.
  • sculli123
    sculli123 Posts: 1,221 Member
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    BusyRaeNOTBusty wrote: »
    I haven't read all your responses, but you don't HAVE to work out 6 days a week. 2 or 3 times a week and a healthy diet is just fine.
    True. I usually do a serious workout 4 times a week maybe 5 at most and then some fun activities on top of that. But only really going hard 4 times usually.

    In fact you don't HAVE to workout at all. But whatever results you (we) get will be from the choices / lifestyle each of us choose. In a super-busy time it may be necessary to cut down to 2x per week for a short period of time. Not really a problem until it become the norm rather than the exception.

    Also, for the new mom's / dads (or even the veterans) - you don't need to hover over your kids 24/7. They won't suddenly not love you if you leave them with your other spouse or someone else for an hour while you workout. Or if you simply go in the garage and workout while they take a nap / watch a movie, they're not going to melt.

  • i_ge_w94
    i_ge_w94 Posts: 30 Member
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    i definitely wouldn't feel guilty - everyone needs some me time! If you're really concerned though, maybe try some home workout videos (to cut out the time it takes to get to/ from the gym)? Youtube, flex etc all have lots of free content which don't require equipment!
  • foen_i
    foen_i Posts: 27 Member
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    My tip: get a 2seat stroller. Get a Bluetooth box. Get a playlist your 4 year old likes. Give your 4year old the box (preferably with buttons to go forward backward) and go jogging with them. Maybe take a half way break at a playground.

    My 4 1/2 year old asks atleast a 5k run every day by now
  • gushfactor
    gushfactor Posts: 8 Member
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    I know the struggle. I have 4 kiddos. But its my only ME time and its a great example for my kiddos. Gotta take care of yourself.

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