Gaining it back doesn't mean failure
hisbeautifulangel
Posts: 91 Member
One day I stepped on the scale and saw numbers staring back at me that I never thought I'd see. 215. 215 pounds. How did I get this fat? How did I not see it? Simple, I had been in denial. Denial of what I was eating and how much, denial of having an eating addiction, denial that I had been lazy and content on a couch. Denial. That was the day I decided to change.
I started out small and even small I saw change. With the help of mfp and exercise I lost 52 lbs in 9 months. 9 months of hell but I accomplished something so great. And then I slipped. Started with not logging on mfp. Thinking, "it's ok, I know how to manage food now." To eating things I knew I shouldn't trying to justify it by thinking, "it's ok, eating one ice cream bar won't hurt." To then eating 3 or 4 of them a day.. I stopped watching the scale because I knew what it would say. And once again I allowed myself to be in denial. Something I swore I would never do again.
Today, 4 weeks after giving birth to my daughter, I am 240 lbs. I was ashamed and pissed I let myself slip back into what I was and how I used to be.
But it doesn't mean I'm a failure. Doesn't mean I'm giving up. I'm starting again. I've lost a large amount of weight once, I can do it again. I'm determined. And I WILL NOT repeat the same mistakes again.
For anyone who slips up and gains a little weight back, or even a huge amount of weight back , or even MORE weight than when you first started. You can try again. You can keep at it. Don't be ashamed. Push harder this time. You're stronger than you think.
Sorry for my long story, but I had to get it off my chest and hopefully help others.
I started out small and even small I saw change. With the help of mfp and exercise I lost 52 lbs in 9 months. 9 months of hell but I accomplished something so great. And then I slipped. Started with not logging on mfp. Thinking, "it's ok, I know how to manage food now." To eating things I knew I shouldn't trying to justify it by thinking, "it's ok, eating one ice cream bar won't hurt." To then eating 3 or 4 of them a day.. I stopped watching the scale because I knew what it would say. And once again I allowed myself to be in denial. Something I swore I would never do again.
Today, 4 weeks after giving birth to my daughter, I am 240 lbs. I was ashamed and pissed I let myself slip back into what I was and how I used to be.
But it doesn't mean I'm a failure. Doesn't mean I'm giving up. I'm starting again. I've lost a large amount of weight once, I can do it again. I'm determined. And I WILL NOT repeat the same mistakes again.
For anyone who slips up and gains a little weight back, or even a huge amount of weight back , or even MORE weight than when you first started. You can try again. You can keep at it. Don't be ashamed. Push harder this time. You're stronger than you think.
Sorry for my long story, but I had to get it off my chest and hopefully help others.
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Replies
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I always like the saying "The real failure is when you stop trying", or something along those lines. Just keep going, acknowledgment is by far the best first step.8
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Love that!0
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The part that stuck out to me is referring to your weight loss as 9 months of hell. If you made it that unpleasurable, it's not surprising to see you slip back to old habits. Only make changes you can sustain for a lifetime. Weight loss should not be hell, and I hope you discover that this time around.7
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vespiquenn wrote: »The part that stuck out to me is referring to your weight loss as 9 months of hell. If you made it that unpleasurable, it's not surprising to see you slip back to old habits. Only make changes you can sustain for a lifetime. Weight loss should not be hell, and I hope you discover that this time around.
Agree wholeheartedly.
I'd also recommend giving The Diet Fix by Yoni Freedhoff a read. It's not so much a diet book as it is a book about why diets fail, and how you can avoid common pitfalls. You can use its ideas in conjunction with any kind of diet plan.2 -
I tell my students that they learn best when they fail. They learn what worked, what didn't. What should they do different next time? It's what you do with the knowledge and what is your work ethic that helps you make it better next time around. My best students are always the ones that fail the first test. I love the come back.
You can do this.2 -
vespiquenn wrote: »The part that stuck out to me is referring to your weight loss as 9 months of hell. If you made it that unpleasurable, it's not surprising to see you slip back to old habits. Only make changes you can sustain for a lifetime. Weight loss should not be hell, and I hope you discover that this time around.
It was hell to me due to the fact that my body isn't like others and doesn't react like everyone elses. I learned that even while staying under calories I would only maintain. I HAD to exercise every day to see a drop. And if I ate any amount of junk food while staying under calories I wouldn't see a drop. I'd maintain. I had to be very strict with what I ate and had to exercise every day. Which to me isn't the funnest. It was incredibly hard work. And this time will no doubt be the same. No junk and exercise every day. (And yes each time I hit a plateau I tweaked this as I went.)0 -
smile_laughter wrote: »I tell my students that they learn best when they fail. They learn what worked, what didn't. What should they do different next time? It's what you do with the knowledge and what is your work ethic that helps you make it better next time around. My best students are always the ones that fail the first test. I love the come back.
You can do this.
This is very true! I can see now that what I need to do differently. Thank you
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I should also add, that another reason it was hell to me was that food was a huge factor. I have faced that I will always have an addiction to food. So it's so hard to not be able to have the food I want and the amount I want. Very hard to sit next to my husband as he eats McDonald's and ice cream while I eat a chicken breast and a Carmel rice cake lol.0
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rankinsect wrote: »vespiquenn wrote: »The part that stuck out to me is referring to your weight loss as 9 months of hell. If you made it that unpleasurable, it's not surprising to see you slip back to old habits. Only make changes you can sustain for a lifetime. Weight loss should not be hell, and I hope you discover that this time around.
Agree wholeheartedly.
I'd also recommend giving The Diet Fix by Yoni Freedhoff a read. It's not so much a diet book as it is a book about why diets fail, and how you can avoid common pitfalls. You can use its ideas in conjunction with any kind of diet plan.
Thank you! I will definitely look into this! I need to also figure out how to handle my food addiction and possibly overcome it where I'm not constantly craving it and thinking about it all the time.0 -
I love this!! This is exactly how i woke up feeling this morning...in 2011 at 197lbs i started my journey & by March 2013 i was down to 160lbs; i slowly gained most of it back by summer of 2015. The last 7 1/2 months have been an emotional roller coaster & now im up to 201 (my heaviest).
Determined to make a change & not let this define me or my journey.
You got this...we got this3 -
hisbeautifulangel wrote: »vespiquenn wrote: »The part that stuck out to me is referring to your weight loss as 9 months of hell. If you made it that unpleasurable, it's not surprising to see you slip back to old habits. Only make changes you can sustain for a lifetime. Weight loss should not be hell, and I hope you discover that this time around.
It was hell to me due to the fact that my body isn't like others and doesn't react like everyone elses. I learned that even while staying under calories I would only maintain. I HAD to exercise every day to see a drop. And if I ate any amount of junk food while staying under calories I wouldn't see a drop. I'd maintain. I had to be very strict with what I ate and had to exercise every day. Which to me isn't the funnest. It was incredibly hard work. And this time will no doubt be the same. No junk and exercise every day. (And yes each time I hit a plateau I tweaked this as I went.)
Were/are you using a food scale?
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LiqueLique89 wrote: »I love this!! This is exactly how i woke up feeling this morning...in 2011 at 197lbs i started my journey & by March 2013 i was down to 160lbs; i slowly gained most of it back by summer of 2015. The last 7 1/2 months have been an emotional roller coaster & now im up to 201 (my heaviest).
Determined to make a change & not let this define me or my journey.
You got this...we got this
It sucks but we can do this! Add me if you would like to help encourage each other on our re-loss lol1 -
vespiquenn wrote: »hisbeautifulangel wrote: »vespiquenn wrote: »The part that stuck out to me is referring to your weight loss as 9 months of hell. If you made it that unpleasurable, it's not surprising to see you slip back to old habits. Only make changes you can sustain for a lifetime. Weight loss should not be hell, and I hope you discover that this time around.
It was hell to me due to the fact that my body isn't like others and doesn't react like everyone elses. I learned that even while staying under calories I would only maintain. I HAD to exercise every day to see a drop. And if I ate any amount of junk food while staying under calories I wouldn't see a drop. I'd maintain. I had to be very strict with what I ate and had to exercise every day. Which to me isn't the funnest. It was incredibly hard work. And this time will no doubt be the same. No junk and exercise every day. (And yes each time I hit a plateau I tweaked this as I went.)
Were/are you using a food scale?
No was not0 -
hisbeautifulangel wrote: »vespiquenn wrote: »hisbeautifulangel wrote: »vespiquenn wrote: »The part that stuck out to me is referring to your weight loss as 9 months of hell. If you made it that unpleasurable, it's not surprising to see you slip back to old habits. Only make changes you can sustain for a lifetime. Weight loss should not be hell, and I hope you discover that this time around.
It was hell to me due to the fact that my body isn't like others and doesn't react like everyone elses. I learned that even while staying under calories I would only maintain. I HAD to exercise every day to see a drop. And if I ate any amount of junk food while staying under calories I wouldn't see a drop. I'd maintain. I had to be very strict with what I ate and had to exercise every day. Which to me isn't the funnest. It was incredibly hard work. And this time will no doubt be the same. No junk and exercise every day. (And yes each time I hit a plateau I tweaked this as I went.)
Were/are you using a food scale?
No was not
I really really recommend one. I hate to say it, but your body does not defy science. Unless you have a medical condition, you were stalling because you were eating more than you thought. Even using packaging sizes, the product can be up to 20% off as long as it benefits the consumer. So a 200 calorie granola bar can actually be as much as 240 calories. Do that multiple times a day, and you can wipe out a deficit easily.
I used to think dieting needed to be torture to be effective until I caved and bought a cheap food scale from Walmart. It's a true eye opener. I think you would greatly benefit from giving it a try. There's no point in doing the same process over again when it isn't sustainable long term. You can't live the rest of your life in "hell," as you put it. Otherwise, you will very easily be caught in this cycle. Been there myself, and it sucks and is no way to live.4 -
vespiquenn wrote: »hisbeautifulangel wrote: »vespiquenn wrote: »hisbeautifulangel wrote: »vespiquenn wrote: »The part that stuck out to me is referring to your weight loss as 9 months of hell. If you made it that unpleasurable, it's not surprising to see you slip back to old habits. Only make changes you can sustain for a lifetime. Weight loss should not be hell, and I hope you discover that this time around.
It was hell to me due to the fact that my body isn't like others and doesn't react like everyone elses. I learned that even while staying under calories I would only maintain. I HAD to exercise every day to see a drop. And if I ate any amount of junk food while staying under calories I wouldn't see a drop. I'd maintain. I had to be very strict with what I ate and had to exercise every day. Which to me isn't the funnest. It was incredibly hard work. And this time will no doubt be the same. No junk and exercise every day. (And yes each time I hit a plateau I tweaked this as I went.)
Were/are you using a food scale?
No was not
I really really recommend one. I hate to say it, but your body does not defy science. Unless you have a medical condition, you were stalling because you were eating more than you thought. Even using packaging sizes, the product can be up to 20% off as long as it benefits the consumer. So a 200 calorie granola bar can actually be as much as 240 calories. Do that multiple times a day, and you can wipe out a deficit easily.
I used to think dieting needed to be torture to be effective until I caved and bought a cheap food scale from Walmart. It's a true eye opener. I think you would greatly benefit from giving it a try. There's no point in doing the same process over again when it isn't sustainable long term. You can't live the rest of your life in "hell," as you put it. Otherwise, you will very easily be caught in this cycle. Been there myself, and it sucks and is no way to live.
Agree. This made all the difference for me. Eyeballing food with a food addiction is a disaster in the making.3 -
Definitely get a food scale. It's such a huge help and a real eye-opener. Like I didn't think that cashew/almond/cranberry trail mix was that many calories till I weighed a half a cup and it blew my mind just how many calories I had been consuming in a daily basis in things I never knew were THAT high in calories.
PS I love the message of your post, op. I really needed this today!
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And try not to use cups. Cup sizes differ and it's not as accurate as measuring in grams! Def get a scale. A digital one for accuracy. As much as you think it's a negative to weigh because u think you won't get as much but works other way where you can allow yourself MORE of stuff you want base your measuring there's no guilt if u have 100g of icecream or 100g of tomatoes because you'll know the calories in each! As long as it fits in your daily count u CAN have your cake and eat it too!
Also try scan the brands into mfp rather than using the generic foods in the calculator as calories vary from brand to brand.
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vespiquenn wrote: »hisbeautifulangel wrote: »vespiquenn wrote: »hisbeautifulangel wrote: »vespiquenn wrote: »The part that stuck out to me is referring to your weight loss as 9 months of hell. If you made it that unpleasurable, it's not surprising to see you slip back to old habits. Only make changes you can sustain for a lifetime. Weight loss should not be hell, and I hope you discover that this time around.
It was hell to me due to the fact that my body isn't like others and doesn't react like everyone elses. I learned that even while staying under calories I would only maintain. I HAD to exercise every day to see a drop. And if I ate any amount of junk food while staying under calories I wouldn't see a drop. I'd maintain. I had to be very strict with what I ate and had to exercise every day. Which to me isn't the funnest. It was incredibly hard work. And this time will no doubt be the same. No junk and exercise every day. (And yes each time I hit a plateau I tweaked this as I went.)
Were/are you using a food scale?
No was not
I really really recommend one. I hate to say it, but your body does not defy science. Unless you have a medical condition, you were stalling because you were eating more than you thought. Even using packaging sizes, the product can be up to 20% off as long as it benefits the consumer. So a 200 calorie granola bar can actually be as much as 240 calories. Do that multiple times a day, and you can wipe out a deficit easily.
I used to think dieting needed to be torture to be effective until I caved and bought a cheap food scale from Walmart. It's a true eye opener. I think you would greatly benefit from giving it a try. There's no point in doing the same process over again when it isn't sustainable long term. You can't live the rest of your life in "hell," as you put it. Otherwise, you will very easily be caught in this cycle. Been there myself, and it sucks and is no way to live.
I did not know that! Wow! Thank you! I will definitely go get one. Thank you for your advice and I definitely don't want to be in hell. If I can make it easier I would love to make it easier lol 0 -
MarieFromOz wrote: »vespiquenn wrote: »hisbeautifulangel wrote: »vespiquenn wrote: »hisbeautifulangel wrote: »vespiquenn wrote: »The part that stuck out to me is referring to your weight loss as 9 months of hell. If you made it that unpleasurable, it's not surprising to see you slip back to old habits. Only make changes you can sustain for a lifetime. Weight loss should not be hell, and I hope you discover that this time around.
It was hell to me due to the fact that my body isn't like others and doesn't react like everyone elses. I learned that even while staying under calories I would only maintain. I HAD to exercise every day to see a drop. And if I ate any amount of junk food while staying under calories I wouldn't see a drop. I'd maintain. I had to be very strict with what I ate and had to exercise every day. Which to me isn't the funnest. It was incredibly hard work. And this time will no doubt be the same. No junk and exercise every day. (And yes each time I hit a plateau I tweaked this as I went.)
Were/are you using a food scale?
No was not
I really really recommend one. I hate to say it, but your body does not defy science. Unless you have a medical condition, you were stalling because you were eating more than you thought. Even using packaging sizes, the product can be up to 20% off as long as it benefits the consumer. So a 200 calorie granola bar can actually be as much as 240 calories. Do that multiple times a day, and you can wipe out a deficit easily.
I used to think dieting needed to be torture to be effective until I caved and bought a cheap food scale from Walmart. It's a true eye opener. I think you would greatly benefit from giving it a try. There's no point in doing the same process over again when it isn't sustainable long term. You can't live the rest of your life in "hell," as you put it. Otherwise, you will very easily be caught in this cycle. Been there myself, and it sucks and is no way to live.
Agree. This made all the difference for me. Eyeballing food with a food addiction is a disaster in the making.
I believe you are right. I think that's where I went wrong. At least, one of the ways I went wrong lol0 -
lenoresdream wrote: »Definitely get a food scale. It's such a huge help and a real eye-opener. Like I didn't think that cashew/almond/cranberry trail mix was that many calories till I weighed a half a cup and it blew my mind just how many calories I had been consuming in a daily basis in things I never knew were THAT high in calories.
PS I love the message of your post, op. I really needed this today!
I'm definitely investing in one! Everyone says it's a huge help so there is no way everyone is wrong lol and anything that helps I am fully on board with!
And thank you it was something I needed to tell myself and thought others may need to hear it too 0 -
Neanbean13 wrote: »And try not to use cups. Cup sizes differ and it's not as accurate as measuring in grams! Def get a scale. A digital one for accuracy. As much as you think it's a negative to weigh because u think you won't get as much but works other way where you can allow yourself MORE of stuff you want base your measuring there's no guilt if u have 100g of icecream or 100g of tomatoes because you'll know the calories in each! As long as it fits in your daily count u CAN have your cake and eat it too!
Also try scan the brands into mfp rather than using the generic foods in the calculator as calories vary from brand to brand.
I was using cups. Oops. My thing is allowing myself junk food without overdoing it or fooling myself by trying to convince myself having just a bit MORE won't hurt. Once I get that under control I do well typically. Initially I have to cut off the bad food and go through the "withdrawl" and then I'm better with food after. What set me back was going so long not allowing myself junk food and then I went crazy with it. This time maybe I should allow myself some junk so I don't end up overdoing it when I Crack lol1 -
hisbeautifulangel wrote: »vespiquenn wrote: »hisbeautifulangel wrote: »vespiquenn wrote: »hisbeautifulangel wrote: »vespiquenn wrote: »The part that stuck out to me is referring to your weight loss as 9 months of hell. If you made it that unpleasurable, it's not surprising to see you slip back to old habits. Only make changes you can sustain for a lifetime. Weight loss should not be hell, and I hope you discover that this time around.
It was hell to me due to the fact that my body isn't like others and doesn't react like everyone elses. I learned that even while staying under calories I would only maintain. I HAD to exercise every day to see a drop. And if I ate any amount of junk food while staying under calories I wouldn't see a drop. I'd maintain. I had to be very strict with what I ate and had to exercise every day. Which to me isn't the funnest. It was incredibly hard work. And this time will no doubt be the same. No junk and exercise every day. (And yes each time I hit a plateau I tweaked this as I went.)
Were/are you using a food scale?
No was not
I really really recommend one. I hate to say it, but your body does not defy science. Unless you have a medical condition, you were stalling because you were eating more than you thought. Even using packaging sizes, the product can be up to 20% off as long as it benefits the consumer. So a 200 calorie granola bar can actually be as much as 240 calories. Do that multiple times a day, and you can wipe out a deficit easily.
I used to think dieting needed to be torture to be effective until I caved and bought a cheap food scale from Walmart. It's a true eye opener. I think you would greatly benefit from giving it a try. There's no point in doing the same process over again when it isn't sustainable long term. You can't live the rest of your life in "hell," as you put it. Otherwise, you will very easily be caught in this cycle. Been there myself, and it sucks and is no way to live.
I did not know that! Wow! Thank you! I will definitely go get one. Thank you for your advice and I definitely don't want to be in hell. If I can make it easier I would love to make it easier lol
It really is crazy how off serving sizes can be. But I will say that with my food scale, I can eat things I enjoy instead of chicken breast and salad. I did that for about 6 months once. Of course, gained everything back that I had lost. That was my hell. Haha.
I hope it works for you!
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I think we have all been there. I did the same: lost 60, gradually put it back on, and finally lost it again, but this time I'm going to keep my eye on things.
Good luck.
You know you can and you know how. You can do it.0 -
You nailed it for me. Denial. Yesterday and today I have really seen myself...and I don't like it. I too am a new mom and want to get this stress eating under control before I pass it on.
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This, 100%.vespiquenn wrote: »The part that stuck out to me is referring to your weight loss as 9 months of hell. If you made it that unpleasurable, it's not surprising to see you slip back to old habits. Only make changes you can sustain for a lifetime. Weight loss should not be hell, and I hope you discover that this time around.
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He should know better than to eat that in front of you. A big part of me starting to lose weight was that my wife was, and I didn't want to eat poorly in front of her while she was working hard at it. At the very least, he should find a way to eat that when you aren't around. Just my 2 cents.hisbeautifulangel wrote: »I should also add, that another reason it was hell to me was that food was a huge factor. I have faced that I will always have an addiction to food. So it's so hard to not be able to have the food I want and the amount I want. Very hard to sit next to my husband as he eats McDonald's and ice cream while I eat a chicken breast and a Carmel rice cake lol.
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I lost from 231 to 145 in 2012/13. Had my baby 11 months ago and was at 215 when i stepped on the scale. I'm down to 155 now. If I can do it anyone can.1
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JenniferMuriel wrote: »You nailed it for me. Denial. Yesterday and today I have really seen myself...and I don't like it. I too am a new mom and want to get this stress eating under control before I pass it on.
I actually have 2 boys and now my daughter. My boys love working out with me and I want to be able to play with them more.0 -
He should know better than to eat that in front of you. A big part of me starting to lose weight was that my wife was, and I didn't want to eat poorly in front of her while she was working hard at it. At the very least, he should find a way to eat that when you aren't around. Just my 2 cents.hisbeautifulangel wrote: »I should also add, that another reason it was hell to me was that food was a huge factor. I have faced that I will always have an addiction to food. So it's so hard to not be able to have the food I want and the amount I want. Very hard to sit next to my husband as he eats McDonald's and ice cream while I eat a chicken breast and a Carmel rice cake lol.
That he should. He can be selfish at times but has been getting better lmao0 -
pbprincess wrote: »I lost from 231 to 145 in 2012/13. Had my baby 11 months ago and was at 215 when i stepped on the scale. I'm down to 155 now. If I can do it anyone can.
That's awesome! Way to go!!!!0
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