Double Standards (minor rant)

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13

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  • _Sally_
    _Sally_ Posts: 514 Member
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    Don't take it personally. They are JEALOUS!

    congrats on the weight loss - you look great.
  • jamie78
    jamie78 Posts: 514 Member
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    I have come to the conclusion about this ... when people say stuff like that some of them actually think its a complement and others are just jealous and then you have those who don't understand you can actually lose weight by being healthy and think that the only way you can do it is by starving or drugs... I get this all the time too... as a matter a fact just this morning. and I weigh 130.. So I know for a fact I am not too skinny... I just smile and say well everyone had their own opinion on what is skinny, fit and healthy compared to what is fat and not... ;)
    Usually shuts them up...
  • PuzzleGirl65
    PuzzleGirl65 Posts: 81 Member
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    I would look at it like this: They see you getting healthy and it makes them uncomfortable. It's not that they don't want you to lose weight and get in shape, because I think they do. But you losing weight makes their health and weight that much more apparent to themselves. It makes them uncomfortable, so they tell you to go back to how you were - to gain some weight.

    This.
  • TK421NotAtPost
    TK421NotAtPost Posts: 512 Member
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    Why is it such a double standard when it comes to weight? WHy is it acceptable to berrate people for being thinner yet perfectly ok to not say anything to someone being overweight? I personally don't make comments either way. I usually just say, "Wow you look great, how have you been".

    I never understood that either....and I probably never will. Back when I was a bit chubby, I would be full of admiration for a person who took charge of their weight and took steps to be thin and healthy.

    I used to get sick and tired of people telling me I need to gain weight. My girlfriend, who hovers between 99-101 lbs, is 5'4" and is pretty shredded, gets it worse than I do. Over time, I got used to the comments and now they just bounce off me.
  • RangerSteve
    RangerSteve Posts: 437
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    Try hearing constant comments about how you're a meat-head-jock-loser-brainless guy because you have muscle. Sure, I like to work out as much as the next meat-head guy but why does that automatically mean I can't be the type who spends evenings using lemon scented Pledge to dust my room while reading Us Weekly and listening to Lady Gaga..... *cries*

    But seriously, if there is one certainty in life, it's this:

    -Haters Gonna Hate-


    Ignore the haters.
  • Tuffjourney
    Tuffjourney Posts: 971
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    This is so sad. You are very beautiful and I hope you just smiled at them and let it go. Family can be so insensitive.:noway:
  • SummerLuvR
    SummerLuvR Posts: 90
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    You look GREAT!! All I have to add is that Misery loves company! They just feel bad about themselves and taking it out on you. Keep up your great job!
    :)
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    I avoid this, and probably get more haters, by eating like a hog at family get togethers. :devil:
  • tladame
    tladame Posts: 465 Member
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    "You're too old to try and fit in a size 0"...say what?!? This 41-year-old broad would have to slap the commenter for that remark!!

    I haven't gotten any such comments (luckily), but then again nobody's really noticed my weight loss either. I have been getting compliments on my clothing, and I wonder if it's because I've been fitting into some of my smaller summer clothes.

    I find it very sad that so many people assume that a woman must be starving herself just because she is losing weight. Sigh...:frown:
  • tladame
    tladame Posts: 465 Member
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    I avoid this, and probably get more haters, by eating like a hog at family get togethers. :devil:

    Bahaha!
  • mkcalvert
    mkcalvert Posts: 219 Member
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    I think it's an in-law thing too bc my in-law's know I'm trying to lose weight and doing it the right way, but refuse to comment. I just chalk it up to they're jealous bc they want their body's to change without changing their habbits and I'm brave enough to do it! I was even told "it took me 50yrs to get my body, so I guess I'm just going to be happy with it" insert as*y tone of voice, and you knowing it's a lie. -mkc
  • Nanconet
    Nanconet Posts: 35
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    Its not okay.......but there are still people who find it acceptable to tell people they are fat.....Like when I hadn't seen my and uncle in over year....the first thing she said was heeyyy nice to see you....wow......you gained ssoooo much weight....I can't believe it.

    Thanks Auntie!!!

    Its frustrating! You keep working hard at getting fit....don't listen to anyone! You look great by the way!! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
  • BettyMargaret
    BettyMargaret Posts: 407 Member
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    I TOTALLY understand how you feel. MY own family talks to me that way and last time I saw them I was called 'Rat Face' from my own dad. He also called my diet an 'issue' and said I acted as if I was on drugs....why? Because I want to be healthy? Would you accept me if I ate a greasy burger instead?!?!?!

    How horrible! :(
    Yes, yes it is. I finally asked him "What do I have to do to make you proud of me? Would you rather see how much weight I can gain or would you rather me strive to be apart of the elite fitness world?!"

    RAT FACE??? Yes Daddy, I look more and more like you everyday! How would he like that? BTW, You look beautiful!
  • Madrow
    Madrow Posts: 62
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    It does hurt when people assume all your hard work was just an eating disorder (which, to the clueless sounds like an easier method to use for weight loss). These are probably the same people who think they are perfectly strong and healthy even though they have an extra 20, 50, or 100 lbs themselves. I'm sure there is some jealous sabotage, but I also have had to deal with people like that and they really have no idea what they are talking about because their idea of health is different from mine. When dealing with situations like that, I gently and firmly stand up for myself, try to avoid sounding condescending, and offer information and advice if they ask me legit questions about my weight loss.
  • BettyMargaret
    BettyMargaret Posts: 407 Member
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    I avoid this, and probably get more haters, by eating like a hog at family get togethers. :devil:

    ROFLMAO!!! (and counting it as cardio)
  • fitchick114
    fitchick114 Posts: 2
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    My family does the SAME thing. I have lost 90 pounds to date, and have about 40 more to go. They would rag on me for being fat. NOw, it's to poke fun at how I eat or how much weight I have lost.

    I look at it this way...they do it because they are jealous. Before, they felt they were so much better than I was because I was obese, now that I have my life in order and am doing great, they don't want to see me succeed, so they try to find ways to bring me down.

    Good luck and congrats on the weight loss!!!
  • BettyMargaret
    BettyMargaret Posts: 407 Member
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    My last weigh in I was 235 and girl, my family tells me I'M gettin' too skinny!!! Started out at 297. I've been accused of doing drugs, being anorexic (how ever you spell it) fad dieting ... blah,blah, blah... AT 235!!! I'm 5' 5 1/2"
    I'm CUTE, but thin??? That's pushing it! Maybe they're afraid of change or something, I don't know. Maybe they realize if you can do it, so could they, but they're lazy?
    Take it from the 235 lb. anorexic druggy... You look like a model! You're b u ti ful!
    *Thank you for your time and attention, now back to your regularly scheduled programming*
  • margieward82
    margieward82 Posts: 406 Member
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    I am also 5'4" and weight about 93 lbs. When people find out the number they always seem shocked and say they would have guessed I was about 110. Like you say everyone carries their weight different. I am lean and getting more toned and defined, but I am healthy! Even my docotor agrees that this weight seems to suit me fine. I was still able to conceive, carry a baby to full term and delive naturally due all while sticking to my clean/healthy lifestyle and working out with cardio and weights nearly daily. Listen to your body, your doctor and your hubby, they know better than anyone what is best for you. My husband will be the first to agree that with the way I carry my weight, over 100lbs I start looking thick. :P
    I know I'm going to get spit at for this, but I'm going to dive down the hole anyways. I'm your height, and I was your weight, and it is quite low. I now see how I looked and it wasn't a healthy look.
    I got the exact same comments, and it was so frustrating, but don't dismiss all of them. I sure wish I had listened earlier than I did..

    I may look thin but I'm actually toned. Everyone wears their weight differently too. I have a very small frame so 110-115 suits me but I can appreciate your concern :)
  • Lunachic77
    Lunachic77 Posts: 434 Member
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    I avoid this, and probably get more haters, by eating like a hog at family get togethers. :devil:

    LOL too funny! I did this while I was there...

    They have a burger chain that is only in the South...Whataburger. So twice while I was there I brought me back some big ole fatty burgers and fries and ate every bit of it!
  • TK421NotAtPost
    TK421NotAtPost Posts: 512 Member
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    I avoid this, and probably get more haters, by eating like a hog at family get togethers. :devil:

    LOL too funny! I did this while I was there...

    They have a burger chain that is only in the South...Whataburger. So twice while I was there I brought me back some big ole fatty burgers and fries and ate every bit of it!

    LOL, I'm sure that went over really well with the girls who suddenly went silent when you entered the room. Their green goblin of jealousy is your best revenge.

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