I need advice... talking to this girl online

Yea.. I'm pretty much given up on her... but now theres this other girl... who is practically my twin!!! I have never met anyone ANYONE who I could relate to so much... but the problem is... she works with my friend and I just friend requested her on FB and I was gonna leave it as that but then she messages me and we just talk and talk and talk... and it's been such a short time and... yeah... we're already starting to plan to hang out... BUT.... my friend likes her and as much as I like her.... I'm still trying to help him out with this girl... she does have a boyfriend though but it doesn't sound like they have a good relationship.... It's starting to get harder and harder the more I get to know her though.. she's like amazing... exactly what I've been looking for and I kinda get the feeling she feels the same way about me...

So um, yea... I was the girl in this almost exact situation.

I dated a complete loser for about 2 years during college. During that time, I had (still do have) a group of guy friends that I always hung out with and were really close to. Then again, I've had mostly guy friends since middle school so that's not really a strange thing for me. Well, the longer I dated this loser, the less I could hang out with my friends because he was extremely jealous. I got further and further away from them and spent almost a year where I barely got to talk to them. Well, duh, that relationship ended (and badly). So after I picked myself up and dusted myself off, my guy friends were right back to help me out and be supportive. So everything was back to normal. I was always at their place during the week and the weekend, I kept all my boose at their house, slept on their couch, went out to eat with them, worked out with them - you know things that friends do together. Well after a bit I started to develop a bit of feelings for one of the guys and we started seeing each other in secret. It was really hard to get away with, but we did if for almost 3 months. We didn't want our friends to know because we thought it would make things weird. Then, the closer we got to graduation, not one but TWO of my other guy friends pulled me aside and told me they had feelings for me. I was flabbergasted. I guess I should have known but I'm so clueless about stuff like that. Well, I had been in this situation before and handled it completely wrong so I knew I had to be a big girl and handle it right. This is basically what I told them both:

"Look, I really like you. You are one of my best friends but I just don't have those kinds of feelings for you. I am so sorry, especially if I lead you on. It was really unintentional. I really hope this doesn't mess up our relationship because you really are one of my closest friends and I do not want to lose that."

It was awkward for a few days, but everything went right back to normal. My boyfriend (yes he's still my boyfriend) and I finally made our relationship known and everything was fine. I was beyond happy about it because I thought there was no other way that situation would end up than having lost a bunch of friends that I love dearly.

So my advice to you from someone who has been there. Just be completely honest! If you like this girl and think she is the perfect match for you, there is no reason you should not go for it. Get to know her, see what kind of chemistry is there and if you both realize you want to date, then you BOTH have to have that tough conversation with your friend like adults. If he can't deal or understand, he will eventually come around. If he doesn't, then he isn't such a good friend.

Good luck with everything! I love to hear about blossoming love. It brightens my day

Yeah I agree with the guy who wrote this above me............................ OR just throw your computer out the window and flush your cell phone down the toilet. Learning to interact face to face should be step 1 before taking into Cyberspace.
Just my .2 cents :bigsmile:

Yea.. I'm pretty much given up on her... but now theres this other girl... who is practically my twin!!! I have never met anyone ANYONE who I could relate to so much... but the problem is... she works with my friend and I just friend requested her on FB and I was gonna leave it as that but then she messages me and we just talk and talk and talk... and it's been such a short time and... yeah... we're already starting to plan to hang out... BUT.... my friend likes her and as much as I like her.... I'm still trying to help him out with this girl... she does have a boyfriend though but it doesn't sound like they have a good relationship.... It's starting to get harder and harder the more I get to know her though.. she's like amazing... exactly what I've been looking for and I kinda get the feeling she feels the same way about me...

oh my god, go get the girl for goodness sake... it can be a rollercoaster of emotions but you know what, love is love, do it.