This is me now at 24st 1lb I hate myself

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  • bstacchini
    bstacchini Posts: 1 Member
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    jrobertson290365 wrote: »
    Thank you everyone for your advice and support, I have been told by my wife that i'm too hard on myself and I need to stop it as i'm going to do myself damage but after seeing that photo of myself today really shocked me as I never thought of myself like that before.

    I'm just not happy and don't know what I can do, I am disabled with chronic back pain and use a walking stick when I go out a few weeks ago I had to go to the doctor who referred me to the Rapid Access Chest Pain Clinic due to having chest pains and shortness of breath.

    Thankfully the tests on my heart came back clear and I got told I have Pre-Diabetes and need to lose weight, since getting that news I have pushed and pushed to try and walk more to exercise and I can only manage about 0.8 miles but i'm desperate to get over the 1 mile point of walking and just can't do it.

    So I feel like i'm burning myself out as my mind is telling me I need to walk more because i'm too fat and ugly but my bodies telling me I can't do it because of the pain i'm in but if I rest up i'm frightened I'll seize up.

    1. Your wife is right!
    2. Your back pain etc will likely reduce as you lose weight-keep that in mind-pain can be a huge incentive
    3. 0.8 miles is better than 0 miles! Build it up slowly. Don't beat yourself up over what you see as failure. You're already moving more than the person still sitting on the settee! As you get slimmer it will get easier as the pain will get less. Look at the 0.8 as a success
    4. Keep on going! Always look forwards and not behind you-you're not going that way! Try to break your weight loss down into smaller chunks like 1 stone targets instead of thinking of the whole amount you need to lose-stops brain overload
  • ballyshea
    ballyshea Posts: 187 Member
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    jrobertson290365 wrote: »

    So I feel like i'm burning myself out as my mind is telling me I need to walk more because i'm too fat and ugly but my bodies telling me I can't do it because of the pain i'm in but if I rest up i'm frightened I'll seize up.

    I might have said this before, or somebody else probably will have said it.
    This is a journey. One day you will wake up and the pain will be less.
    Then one day you will wake up and the pain will have gone.

    I woke up a few months ago and a niggling pain in my right hip was gone. I still wake up and wait for it to start, but it hasn't.

    You'll get there.
  • hazeleyez26
    hazeleyez26 Posts: 71 Member
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    Please don't hate yourself.. You are doing fantastic!! One moment at a time.. One day at a time...
  • fposte2016
    fposte2016 Posts: 130 Member
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    Bump -- jrobertson how are you doing?
  • yfahimuddin1266
    yfahimuddin1266 Posts: 1 Member
    edited September 2016
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    Just here to add if it hasn't been said that the key to weight loss is lifestyle changes, not diet. Slowly you'll reduce your food intake over a period of time and adjust your lifestyle accordingly as you go. I know you can do it, I believe in you, but that's an important piece of information people often miss that is the crux of weight loss. Cheers. Bit of course you'll slip and make mistakes along the way, that's normal so don't beat yourself up about it, doesn't make you a bad person or anything
  • grammageegee
    grammageegee Posts: 78 Member
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    Cheering you on.
  • PennWalker
    PennWalker Posts: 554 Member
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    Cheering you on, too. You are not ugly at all. You are a beautiful soul and you care enough about yourself to begin a new life one step at a time. :)
  • marcusvalcarcel
    marcusvalcarcel Posts: 1 Member
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    You got this. Be a conquer!
  • figureitout87
    figureitout87 Posts: 126 Member
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    Congrats on putting yourself out there to make a change. No action is too small, if you're feeling overwhelmed set small goals and track them so you can see how you're doing overall. Take a look at what you eat in a day and figure out where you could easily cut down. If you drink soda, switch to carbonated water. Once that's all good move onto the next thing you can change. If you make a mistake, don't beat yourself up just keep going! If your pain is keeping you from walking, try simply standing. If that's too much, try again later or break up your mile over the day instead of all at once.

    Try adding friends on here to help keep you accountable and bounce ideas off of!
  • ScotsLass78
    ScotsLass78 Posts: 248 Member
    edited September 2016
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    jrobertson290365 wrote: »
    fposte2016 wrote: »
    Bump -- jrobertson how are you doing?

    Hey Fposte, I weighed myself today and now down to 22st 13lbs which is 310lbs so doing the happy dance as I've now lost 1st 9lbs which is 23lbs in 8 weeks :):):):) and thank you everyone else for all your wonderful support, your all fantastic

    I've just been reading through the start of this post (I'll be honest, it was getting near to home time so I jumped to the end :wink: ) and this last comment made me so happy! You have done amazingly well and should be so proud of yourself!! You definitely deserve to do that happy dance! :)
  • jrobertson290365
    jrobertson290365 Posts: 81 Member
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    ScotsLass78 wrote: »
    jrobertson290365 wrote: »
    fposte2016 wrote: »
    Bump -- jrobertson how are you doing?

    Hey Fposte, I weighed myself today and now down to 22st 13lbs which is 310lbs so doing the happy dance as I've now lost 1st 9lbs which is 23lbs in 8 weeks :):):):) and thank you everyone else for all your wonderful support, your all fantastic

    I've just been reading through the start of this post (I'll be honest, it was getting near to home time so I jumped to the end :wink: ) and this last comment made me so happy! You have done amazingly well and should be so proud of yourself!! You definitely deserve to do that happy dance! :)

    Thank you Scotslass78,

    I don't think I could've done it without everyone on MFP's support
  • hopejaye75
    hopejaye75 Posts: 51 Member
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    7lbs is great!! You've got this!
  • Charis50
    Charis50 Posts: 181 Member
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    Well done, you! Keep up the good work and the positive attitude! <insert happy dance here>
  • walkermichaelg
    walkermichaelg Posts: 98 Member
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    Hi, I'm relatively new but on here daily, feel free to add me for motivation and support!
  • JohnDavid1969
    JohnDavid1969 Posts: 34 Member
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    jrobertson290365 wrote: »
    Hey Fposte, I weighed myself today and now down to 22st 13lbs which is 310lbs so doing the happy dance as I've now lost 1st 9lbs which is 23lbs in 8 weeks :):):):) and thank you everyone else for all your wonderful support, your all fantastic

    23 pounds in 8 weeks? That's pretty epic. Well done.

  • Nikion901
    Nikion901 Posts: 2,467 Member
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    I can relate. To your feelings of self loathing and hopeless feeling. But believe me, you can, and should, change your self-talk. Instead of saying "I am disgusted with myself" say someting like "I approve of the changes I am making to better." You have to censor your downer self-talk ... and it's not easy when you feel depressed over something .. but you start and then you keep doing it as often as you can remember to, then it will become more natural to find things to praise about yourself and to turn the negativity into something positive.
  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
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    Keep going! You are doing great!
  • louann_jude
    louann_jude Posts: 307 Member
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    You are doing awesome. 23 pounds is a great start and you will go the distance. When I first started I weighed 283 pounds at 5'5" I was almost as round as tall. I now weigh 192. When I first started everything hurt. I couldn't really exercise either. So I got up and started cleaning. I would set the timer for 15 minutes and I would move the whole time. I wouldn't sit down until the timer went off. Eventually I made it to 30 minutes and then an hour.

    I got to where I was able to do the walk at home video's on youtube. They have them from 14 minutes to 45. Another thing that a lady suggested in a group I'm in on Facebook is just walking in place. Start while watching a show you like. Get up and walk in place during the commercial breaks. Depending on how long of a show thats on it can equal to 7-15 minutes walking.


    This is a great group I joined when I joined mfp.

    community.myfitnesspal.com/en/group/115768-100-pounds-with-no-surgery

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