I dont love food, I love junk.

Just kind of wanted to vent about some stuff. Sorry if my thoughts are all over the place.

I (used to) eat when Im sad, when Im anxious, when Im depressed, when Im bored, when Im happy. I was a total and complete emotional eater. And no, I wasnt addicted to just food, I was addicted to crap junk food. I never eat veggies, I barely ate unproccessed meat or foods, I rarely ate fruit or things naturally grown. So what did I eat? Every single day for awhile I had McDonalds (2 burgers, 3 large fries, 1 large coke) sometimes TWICE a day, a large oreo blizzard with extra oreo, 3-4 bottles of coke, candy bars like snickers, a huge bowl of white rice smothered in salt and butter, a large pan tossed pepperonni pizza from Dominos (always finished everything). My health was awful. I felt physically sick all the time. My stomach always hurt, I was always tired, and I always had constant headaches. I couldnt walk up a flight of stairs without being completely out of breath. I could only run for a solid 15 seconds at a time.

I lost 113 pounds. I can run for 30 minutes without stopping. I have added so many nutrional foods to my diet that actually make me feel good. I rarely get headaches, my stomach only hurts when I put something in it that it doesnt like and I have so much more energy its insane. I went from laying on the couch all day, everyday to working out 2-3 times a day (because its my stress reliever and makes me feel good)

Yes, I am so happy I changed my lifestyle, but as crazy as it sounds, sometimes I miss it. Sometimes I miss the junk. Sometimes I miss not worrying about calories or portions. Would I ever go back to that lifestyle? Of course not. Sometimes I just miss it though. But I guess thats just my old, lazy self peeking through since this lifestyle is so much more work.

Its hard to find things to turn to instead of food when Ive always gone to it for my whole life. I feel like Ive switched my junk addiction with a gym addiction.

Its also hard when no one in my life truly understands. I know maybe 3 people who have dieted (and they only had like 10 pounds to lose). No one I know counts calories or understands when I dont want to eat out or go drinking. No one around me fully understands that this isnt just a diet, its a lifestyle change. Im not going to just hit my goal weight and be done, like Ill have to work on this for my entire life, especially with maintaining. People dont get the psycholigical part of all of it and how it can really take a toll on someone.