Help! How to deal with people trying to sabotage your weightloss journey

JenniferNoll wrote: »

You may have to do your own shopping. Your house mate is not responsible for your nutrition. Just let him know that you are not going to eat what he buys, so he should only shop for himself. If it's a matter of money, go talk to the manager at your local grocery store and find out when meat is marked down and what happens to damaged produce. I buy my meat at less than half price that way, and get my veggies very cheaply. Just remember that YOU are responsible for what you eat, not anyone else.

This right here ^^

Your roommate isn't sabotaging you, he simply isn't on the same page food-wise as you. It sounds like you need to stop sharing food.

Honestly you don't owe him any explanations, just do your own shopping, and take whatever money you have out of this joint finance deal. Is he somehow pocketing some money when he goes shopping? Like does he buy cheap food, tell you it's more and keep the rest?

beccapineapple8756 wrote: »

It's my house mate. We have a set budget for food for the week. We use to take turns shopping but latley if he shops he will only get chips chocolate frozen pizzas fried chicken sodas all that kind of stuff. I have tried to talk to him about it but he refuses to listen. He is thin and thinks that food dosnt really matter as long as it fills you up. I keep offering to do the shopping every week but he refused an said that what I am doing is stupid that if I was that worried about my weight I shouldn't have let it get this bad ☹️

Are you contributing an equal amount of money toward food?
Do you make a meal plan and grocery list?
If your budget is limited meal planning and a grocery list are very helpful for making the most of your money. Buying low nutrition pre-made foods is not very budget friendly.
If you are contributing money for food then you have a say in what is bought with your money- doesn't matter if what you want is stupid or gross to him. If you aren't contributing money then you do not have a say unfortunately.


I would have a conversation focused on equality, compromise, friendship, the budget, his (freakish) control over the shopping and both getting what you want out of your living situation. You don't have to live together if he can't treat you as an equal with respect.
If he flately refuses to buy any food you want then stop pooling your money. Each shop for and prepare your own food.
It may be time to find a new housemate.

I agree that you don't owe him any explanations and that he is probably not very happy with this new determination of yours.

As others have suggested, the best solution seems to be to each do your own shopping for all your food and only share expenses for things like toilet paper, cleaning products etc.

Also, I agree with snickerscharlie, you need to stick to your guns on this one. You need to do it for yourself.
Good luck!

All,

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Thanks,

kgeyser

ItsyBitsy246 wrote: »

Screw him. Each of you buy your own food. I had a variety of housemates off and on for about twenty years. We never split food, and each had our own space in the cupboards.

Ya, I never split food expenses with housemates either.

When I lived with roommates in college, we all bought our own food but would share the costs of communal goods like flour, baking soda, milk (if we all drank the same kind - rarely happened), and that sort of thing. Everyone's food preferences are just way too different, in my opinion, to successfully do what you were doing in the past; I've only ever had it work with my fiance because we actually share a household.

It sounds like he might feel that you're trying to tell him what to do with "his" money since shopping is done with both his and your money; it's an understandable frustration but not so understandable that him blowing up at you isn't weird. So take his money out of the equation and do the food shopping separately. I'd also sit down and talk to him when you're both away from the issue (like not right after food shopping but maybe when you're both just relaxing after work) and tell him how you've been feeling, without placing blame on him: "I feel upset when you tell me that 'I shouldn't have let my weight get this bad' and then get angry when I'm trying to change my diet. I value our friendship too much to let the arguments over food shopping ruin it, so I am going to start doing my own food shopping."

beccapineapple8756 wrote: »

Thanks for the help everyone. I'm not usually one to put my foot down and argue with someone. But I do really want this change I guess I need to learn to stand up for myself and look after myself. I need to say goodbye to the shy chick I've been and become more confident.

This is the attitude you need to hold fast to! It is beautiful. Your friend will understand eventually. He may be upset over something else, or just doesn't like the change in food arrangements. If he is really your friend he will get over it and you guys will move past it. Any relationship has bumps like this. But what you need to do is look after yourself first. Make healthy changes that need to be made...not all of them will be easy. For instance, I had to cut a lot of people out of my life because all they did was go out and drink and party - which were not good for me nutritionally or emotionally. It was hard at first, but I am better off now. No judgement to those who do that - it just isn't right for the lifestyle I choose to live now.

Best of luck girl!

If you're an adult, shop for your own food. You shouldn't be tied to what someone else thinks you should eat.

That said: it doesn't sound like "sabotage" (which is typically ON PURPOSE) just self-centeredness.