PUTTING IT OUT THERE

I've always had an issue with letting others in on my life. Well, this seems like a pretty safe place to change that. So, if you all don't mind, I am making this my "blog" as it were. Maybe it can help someone else.

So, to catch everyone up to speed, here's the beginning blog note.


Massive weight loss but blowing it again! HELP!
I did it again!

Years ago I had a massive weight loss and was looking pretty fantastic. Of course it was pre-menopause so losing the weight was vastly easier! I walked 5 days a week- unless it rained.

Then I went through menopause, put on lots of weight (I was tilting the scales at close to 400 pounds) and gave up. Until a doctor realized I was having a thyroid issue. I was so sick for so long! Afib, diabetes, you name it!

So I go to a heart specialist who sends me to a cardiac program in a cardiac rehab. I exercize and my blood sugars start to normalize. Then I start losing weight. The afib is still there but not like it had been. Until one day I had a really bad attack that landed me overnight- actually two days- in the hospital.

This attack was so bad they said they would have to put the defribulator on me. I prayed the prayer of despiration: "help me God" and said if anyone was going to debribulate me, I wanted it to be HIM not the hospital.

I went to lay back and try to sleep- in afib and all- and there was this bright flash of light. Next thing I know, the cardiac unit nurse comes in. She had been watching my monitor.
"Are you okay?" She asked, leaning over me.
"Yes," I said.
"Are you sure??" She asked.
"All I did was yawn," I said. Thinking the flash was from a hearty yawn.
"Your heart stopped and you're now in normal sinus rythm" she said.
I laid there for a moment in disbelief. No way! No freaking way!
But yes freaking way! With less than 12 hours left on the clock, and a hard thumping afrib to deal with, God answered my simple prayer!

I told her what had happened. "That's GOD!" She exclaimed.

It's in my medical record. That was over two years ago. I've not had one since.

I also experienced a dramatic weight loss. Went down from the original 380 to 230. But the problem is, I had gotten off the insulin and that's when the weight loss truly began. I had been on 100-150 units a day, plus byetta and 2000 mg metformin. Now I'm only taking a maintenance metformin, nothing else.

So you would think I wouldn't allow myself to gain weight back but here I am, at 240. I had told myself I would NEVER go backwards. But I allowed my grief and anger over Pokos death and the inability to get a new home and start over, plus my husbands depression, to get to me.

I have also gotten lazy about my exercize. I thought to join a gym. But frankly, I like the cardiac rehab. They've changed the hours though. I don't like that we HAVE to be there by 6:30 am and be chased out at 8 am. I used to be able to get up at 6:30, be there by 7 and work out til 9.

I also don't like the staff change. Carolyn was our friend and now we have these new people who don't even try to be friendly! Yet they chase us off to do their work (none of which we get in the way of).

I dunno what I'll do to be honest. And it's so damn hot and sticky here that walking is a pain. Hubby and our remaining dog, Oscar, are doing it. I guess I could, too. But I truly prefer to walk alone.

Something will come up in that area I suppose. In the meantime, I'll have to make do and get truly serious about the weight loss and especially the food I put in.

I need a slogan. A reminder. If anyone has any ideas, let me know.
NEED A SLOGAN CONTEST
So it's almost 5 a.m.
And I woke up thinking: time to get serious.
So here's what I need from anyone reading this blog. I NEED A SLOGAN.
Something pithy. It can be serious or funny, but please motivational!
It should remind me to watch what I put in my mouth because food has been my comfort- well and I love to cook and moreso love to eat!
So, I am opening this up as a contest. The winner will get a free teeshirt with my new slogan on it (I will make a tee for me as well) as my "partner" in weight loss. I will handle the design- I just need the slogan!
I will have the tee made for the winner and have it shipped to your home address or work address at no cost to you what so ever.
Help me out here, people!
She Bang!
Okay. So today I went to the Cariac Gym. Worked out 15 minutes for treadmill; 15 on the bike; and lifted weights.

I also decided to stop drinking weightloss shakes as a regular breakfast. I end up very hungry by noon and over eat. But at 180 calories, and being that they're chocolate, I think I'll make them my "snack". Only I might half it.
Today I made my first ever egg in a mug. It was actually good! And I added to it "humus toast". Chickpea humus seems it would be far more healthy than the other spreads. And it was actually good on bread!
Gotta get to feeling good again.
9/3/2016
Back when I had lost the massive amount, I had a rule: better a little that I like than a lot of what I loathe. What that meant was, I would rather have real maple syrup from Vermont than some cheap, sugar free imitation. For me, you see, food is about flavor.

But I also was prone to stuffing myself. I come from a family of foodies. Dad loved cooking shows and often cooked the savory. Mom loved to bake. Lordy! Could she ever bake!

And I had these three older brothers who were reminiscent of the guys from "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers". They would even have eating contests to see who could eat the turkey leg the fastest on Thanksgiving. Of course, there weren't any three-legged turkeys so they had to toss a coin to see who entered the contest. But I digress.

I was doomed to love the good stuff. Food was about flavor and Hungry Girl would've been cast out of our kitchen like an old corn cob!

But it wasn't only flavor, it was about copious amounts. Mom and Dad both had survived the depression. Dad in the dust bowl and Mom up in Minnesota. Not having enough of the "good food" was emblazoned on their memory banks. So having plenty and making sure to be full meant a lot to them. This was passed on to us.

But our lifestyles were more sedentary than our parents' lives were. By the time I was grown up and having children, you didn't even have to hang up diapers on a line to dry! Everything changed and life became easier. So the good food- in copious amounts- also became a problem.

So back when I lost that first massive amount (I have a second massive amount to go yet) I would satisfy myself with a little. So today I did the Saturday morning breakfast thing and I'm so glad I did! Lightened up pancakes with the little bit of something I love: real maple syrup.

1 1/2 c. heart healthy bisquick
1/2 c. pure packed pumpkin
1 tbsp splenda brown sugar blend
1 large egg white
3/4 c. unsweetened original almond milk

Mix together and scoop into a hot pan by cookie dough scooper. This delivers the right amount to make a bakers dozen (one for the dog ;) )

I topped the 4 pancakes with 1 tsp of "I can't believe its not butter" and 1 tsp real vermont maple syrup.

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Replies

  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 24,818 Member
    Yes, I'm a bit curious why you're not using the blog function.

    I have several things up in my log, as do many others in their blogs.
  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
    Your slogan: "No more excuses"!
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,134 Member
    You might want to utilise the blog function for this sort of post?

    She has a blog. I guess she wants more public accountability.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/leahdyanne
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,943 Member
    @leahdyanne, thank you for sharing your experiences. I don't think people often realize how being overweight, and even the lose-gain process, can be hard on our bodies and cause health problems.
  • Catawampous
    Catawampous Posts: 447 Member
    Thank you for sharing. It's not easy to step out of a shell.
  • Petrolhead75
    Petrolhead75 Posts: 45 Member
    Thanks for sharing, best of luck with it all, loved reading about the donuts, they smell amazing still but I've found that don't taste so good to me anymore. For your slogan, something like 'just keep moving' as in moving forward, moving as in exercise, moving on etc etc (not very inventive I know)
  • bugsypemberton
    bugsypemberton Posts: 46 Member
    zyxst wrote: »
    You might want to utilise the blog function for this sort of post?

    She has a blog. I guess she wants more public accountability.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/leahdyanne

    You're absolutely correct.
    And thank you for getting it.
    You see, as long as I can hide my food addiction- and I certainly could do it on here (fitness pal) by sticking to my own little blog space and knowing nobody would likely see it- then I'm able to hide the addiction and continue in it. No accountability. Now, maybe I won't know who all reads it, but I do realize more will see it here.

    But there's something else. Maybe someone else is having the same problem I do: hiding the problem.

    maybe someone else will be inspired to say: I am a food addict.

  • bugsypemberton
    bugsypemberton Posts: 46 Member
    queenliz99 wrote: »
    Your slogan: "No more excuses"!

    I LIKE IT!!!
    covers everything! :)
  • bugsypemberton
    bugsypemberton Posts: 46 Member
    Thanks for sharing, best of luck with it all, loved reading about the donuts, they smell amazing still but I've found that don't taste so good to me anymore. For your slogan, something like 'just keep moving' as in moving forward, moving as in exercise, moving on etc etc (not very inventive I know)

    Love that too!!!
  • bugsypemberton
    bugsypemberton Posts: 46 Member
    First of all I want to thank those who "get it". If what I am writing offends others (in content or length) please feel free not to read. Now that you know what it's going to contain.

    Secondly, I want to thank those who have offered slogans! I will be doing this through the month of September and will announce the winner in October.

    Third, I wonder if those who don't like reading about this struggle understand what goes on with a food addict. So yes, I will "put it out there" because it needs to be said. I wish I could shoot sunshine "out me *kitten*" as the Scotsman says. But I can't. I know where this started. I know why it started. And if you're having problems reading this now, you may have big problems reading it later on.

    But for now, keeping this focused mostly on the day.

    I love Pasta but it doesn't love me back. One cup of regular spaghetti is 200 calories (that's cooked). Ugh! And high carb without much nutritional benefit.

    I've sincerely tried it all.

    First I tried Shirataki noodles. I've done everything possible to keep them from having the texture of a wet eraser, all to no avail. And frankly, I don't like eating anything that squeaks when I bite down on it.

    Then I tried spaghetti squash. I loved it as a substitute for rice noodles in Chinese, but it didn't quite make the cut in an Alfredo sauce. In fact, it was downright yucky!

    And then came zoodles.

    I own a spiralizer, the kind that suctions to the counter top. I've spiralized like crazy only to realize that it's still zuccini. Zoodles are zoodles. Period.


    But one day, while cruising the aisle of an Asian grocery, I came across this item called SOBA. The ones made strictly from buckwheat looked suspiciously like whole wheat pasta. So, I bought some and cooked it up. WOWZA POWZA what a shock!

    For 109 calories I got a full measured cup of pasta substitute that tasted LIKE PASTA! As an added plus I didn't have to salt the water!

    Tonight I made it with my twist on "girlfredo" from Hungry Girl. It came out pretty doggone good.

    I would encourage you to try these noodles of loveliness. You can only get them at Chinese markets I think. But you can order them online. Just make sure they're 100% buckwheat and not mixed with all purpose flour.

    Ah so! Getting creative can be fun!!!

    Tonights dinner came to a mere 350 calories and that's with a nice cut (around 1-1/2 thick) of multigrain-seeded bread.
  • singingflutelady
    singingflutelady Posts: 8,736 Member
    edited September 2016
    Nm. I didn't see where you posted that you didn't care about the readability
  • bugsypemberton
    bugsypemberton Posts: 46 Member
    Not sure I understand your point but, ok.
  • singingflutelady
    singingflutelady Posts: 8,736 Member
    I had written something else but decided to erase it. I had said that maybe break up the posts into separate posts on this thread as I'd love to follow you but I have a low attention span. It's my issue not yours
  • youngmomtaz
    youngmomtaz Posts: 1,075 Member
    Thank you! Food "addiction" is hard. I know, not a real addiction but it sure feels like it. I am learning not to binge. And not to hide it. And how to feed my body thinking of food as fuel 95% of the time. Keep posting, keep moving, accountability is awesome. Recruit some real life friends as well if you can as buddies.

    "Food is fuel".
  • 150poundsofme
    150poundsofme Posts: 523 Member
    Thanks for sharing :)
    Success is addictive.
    Say yes to your potential.
    Consistency.
    Be your own hero.
  • bugsypemberton
    bugsypemberton Posts: 46 Member
    "I had written something else but decided to erase it. I had said that maybe break up the posts into separate posts on this thread as I'd love to follow you but I have a low attention span. It's my issue not yours."

    Thanks for letting me know this. Not all of my posts will be long. Just some days I guess there's more to say than others. I'll try to remember to warn ahead!
This discussion has been closed.