PUTTING IT OUT THERE

I've always had an issue with letting others in on my life. Well, this seems like a pretty safe place to change that. So, if you all don't mind, I am making this my "blog" as it were. Maybe it can help someone else.

So, to catch everyone up to speed, here's the beginning blog note.


Massive weight loss but blowing it again! HELP!
I did it again!

Years ago I had a massive weight loss and was looking pretty fantastic. Of course it was pre-menopause so losing the weight was vastly easier! I walked 5 days a week- unless it rained.

Then I went through menopause, put on lots of weight (I was tilting the scales at close to 400 pounds) and gave up. Until a doctor realized I was having a thyroid issue. I was so sick for so long! Afib, diabetes, you name it!

So I go to a heart specialist who sends me to a cardiac program in a cardiac rehab. I exercize and my blood sugars start to normalize. Then I start losing weight. The afib is still there but not like it had been. Until one day I had a really bad attack that landed me overnight- actually two days- in the hospital.

This attack was so bad they said they would have to put the defribulator on me. I prayed the prayer of despiration: "help me God" and said if anyone was going to debribulate me, I wanted it to be HIM not the hospital.

I went to lay back and try to sleep- in afib and all- and there was this bright flash of light. Next thing I know, the cardiac unit nurse comes in. She had been watching my monitor.
"Are you okay?" She asked, leaning over me.
"Yes," I said.
"Are you sure??" She asked.
"All I did was yawn," I said. Thinking the flash was from a hearty yawn.
"Your heart stopped and you're now in normal sinus rythm" she said.
I laid there for a moment in disbelief. No way! No freaking way!
But yes freaking way! With less than 12 hours left on the clock, and a hard thumping afrib to deal with, God answered my simple prayer!

I told her what had happened. "That's GOD!" She exclaimed.

It's in my medical record. That was over two years ago. I've not had one since.

I also experienced a dramatic weight loss. Went down from the original 380 to 230. But the problem is, I had gotten off the insulin and that's when the weight loss truly began. I had been on 100-150 units a day, plus byetta and 2000 mg metformin. Now I'm only taking a maintenance metformin, nothing else.

So you would think I wouldn't allow myself to gain weight back but here I am, at 240. I had told myself I would NEVER go backwards. But I allowed my grief and anger over Pokos death and the inability to get a new home and start over, plus my husbands depression, to get to me.

I have also gotten lazy about my exercize. I thought to join a gym. But frankly, I like the cardiac rehab. They've changed the hours though. I don't like that we HAVE to be there by 6:30 am and be chased out at 8 am. I used to be able to get up at 6:30, be there by 7 and work out til 9.

I also don't like the staff change. Carolyn was our friend and now we have these new people who don't even try to be friendly! Yet they chase us off to do their work (none of which we get in the way of).

I dunno what I'll do to be honest. And it's so damn hot and sticky here that walking is a pain. Hubby and our remaining dog, Oscar, are doing it. I guess I could, too. But I truly prefer to walk alone.

Something will come up in that area I suppose. In the meantime, I'll have to make do and get truly serious about the weight loss and especially the food I put in.

I need a slogan. A reminder. If anyone has any ideas, let me know.
NEED A SLOGAN CONTEST
So it's almost 5 a.m.
And I woke up thinking: time to get serious.
So here's what I need from anyone reading this blog. I NEED A SLOGAN.
Something pithy. It can be serious or funny, but please motivational!
It should remind me to watch what I put in my mouth because food has been my comfort- well and I love to cook and moreso love to eat!
So, I am opening this up as a contest. The winner will get a free teeshirt with my new slogan on it (I will make a tee for me as well) as my "partner" in weight loss. I will handle the design- I just need the slogan!
I will have the tee made for the winner and have it shipped to your home address or work address at no cost to you what so ever.
Help me out here, people!
She Bang!
Okay. So today I went to the Cariac Gym. Worked out 15 minutes for treadmill; 15 on the bike; and lifted weights.

I also decided to stop drinking weightloss shakes as a regular breakfast. I end up very hungry by noon and over eat. But at 180 calories, and being that they're chocolate, I think I'll make them my "snack". Only I might half it.
Today I made my first ever egg in a mug. It was actually good! And I added to it "humus toast". Chickpea humus seems it would be far more healthy than the other spreads. And it was actually good on bread!
Gotta get to feeling good again.
9/3/2016
Back when I had lost the massive amount, I had a rule: better a little that I like than a lot of what I loathe. What that meant was, I would rather have real maple syrup from Vermont than some cheap, sugar free imitation. For me, you see, food is about flavor.

But I also was prone to stuffing myself. I come from a family of foodies. Dad loved cooking shows and often cooked the savory. Mom loved to bake. Lordy! Could she ever bake!

And I had these three older brothers who were reminiscent of the guys from "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers". They would even have eating contests to see who could eat the turkey leg the fastest on Thanksgiving. Of course, there weren't any three-legged turkeys so they had to toss a coin to see who entered the contest. But I digress.

I was doomed to love the good stuff. Food was about flavor and Hungry Girl would've been cast out of our kitchen like an old corn cob!

But it wasn't only flavor, it was about copious amounts. Mom and Dad both had survived the depression. Dad in the dust bowl and Mom up in Minnesota. Not having enough of the "good food" was emblazoned on their memory banks. So having plenty and making sure to be full meant a lot to them. This was passed on to us.

But our lifestyles were more sedentary than our parents' lives were. By the time I was grown up and having children, you didn't even have to hang up diapers on a line to dry! Everything changed and life became easier. So the good food- in copious amounts- also became a problem.

So back when I lost that first massive amount (I have a second massive amount to go yet) I would satisfy myself with a little. So today I did the Saturday morning breakfast thing and I'm so glad I did! Lightened up pancakes with the little bit of something I love: real maple syrup.

1 1/2 c. heart healthy bisquick
1/2 c. pure packed pumpkin
1 tbsp splenda brown sugar blend
1 large egg white
3/4 c. unsweetened original almond milk

Mix together and scoop into a hot pan by cookie dough scooper. This delivers the right amount to make a bakers dozen (one for the dog ;) )

I topped the 4 pancakes with 1 tsp of "I can't believe its not butter" and 1 tsp real vermont maple syrup.

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Replies

  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,617 Member
    Yes, I'm a bit curious why you're not using the blog function.

    I have several things up in my log, as do many others in their blogs.
  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
    Your slogan: "No more excuses"!
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    You might want to utilise the blog function for this sort of post?

    She has a blog. I guess she wants more public accountability.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/leahdyanne
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    @leahdyanne, thank you for sharing your experiences. I don't think people often realize how being overweight, and even the lose-gain process, can be hard on our bodies and cause health problems.
  • Catawampous
    Catawampous Posts: 447 Member
    Thank you for sharing. It's not easy to step out of a shell.
  • Petrolhead75
    Petrolhead75 Posts: 45 Member
    Thanks for sharing, best of luck with it all, loved reading about the donuts, they smell amazing still but I've found that don't taste so good to me anymore. For your slogan, something like 'just keep moving' as in moving forward, moving as in exercise, moving on etc etc (not very inventive I know)
  • bugsypemberton
    bugsypemberton Posts: 46 Member
    zyxst wrote: »
    You might want to utilise the blog function for this sort of post?

    She has a blog. I guess she wants more public accountability.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/leahdyanne

    You're absolutely correct.
    And thank you for getting it.
    You see, as long as I can hide my food addiction- and I certainly could do it on here (fitness pal) by sticking to my own little blog space and knowing nobody would likely see it- then I'm able to hide the addiction and continue in it. No accountability. Now, maybe I won't know who all reads it, but I do realize more will see it here.

    But there's something else. Maybe someone else is having the same problem I do: hiding the problem.

    maybe someone else will be inspired to say: I am a food addict.

  • bugsypemberton
    bugsypemberton Posts: 46 Member
    queenliz99 wrote: »
    Your slogan: "No more excuses"!

    I LIKE IT!!!
    covers everything! :)
  • bugsypemberton
    bugsypemberton Posts: 46 Member
    Thanks for sharing, best of luck with it all, loved reading about the donuts, they smell amazing still but I've found that don't taste so good to me anymore. For your slogan, something like 'just keep moving' as in moving forward, moving as in exercise, moving on etc etc (not very inventive I know)

    Love that too!!!
  • bugsypemberton
    bugsypemberton Posts: 46 Member
    First of all I want to thank those who "get it". If what I am writing offends others (in content or length) please feel free not to read. Now that you know what it's going to contain.

    Secondly, I want to thank those who have offered slogans! I will be doing this through the month of September and will announce the winner in October.

    Third, I wonder if those who don't like reading about this struggle understand what goes on with a food addict. So yes, I will "put it out there" because it needs to be said. I wish I could shoot sunshine "out me *kitten*" as the Scotsman says. But I can't. I know where this started. I know why it started. And if you're having problems reading this now, you may have big problems reading it later on.

    But for now, keeping this focused mostly on the day.

    I love Pasta but it doesn't love me back. One cup of regular spaghetti is 200 calories (that's cooked). Ugh! And high carb without much nutritional benefit.

    I've sincerely tried it all.

    First I tried Shirataki noodles. I've done everything possible to keep them from having the texture of a wet eraser, all to no avail. And frankly, I don't like eating anything that squeaks when I bite down on it.

    Then I tried spaghetti squash. I loved it as a substitute for rice noodles in Chinese, but it didn't quite make the cut in an Alfredo sauce. In fact, it was downright yucky!

    And then came zoodles.

    I own a spiralizer, the kind that suctions to the counter top. I've spiralized like crazy only to realize that it's still zuccini. Zoodles are zoodles. Period.


    But one day, while cruising the aisle of an Asian grocery, I came across this item called SOBA. The ones made strictly from buckwheat looked suspiciously like whole wheat pasta. So, I bought some and cooked it up. WOWZA POWZA what a shock!

    For 109 calories I got a full measured cup of pasta substitute that tasted LIKE PASTA! As an added plus I didn't have to salt the water!

    Tonight I made it with my twist on "girlfredo" from Hungry Girl. It came out pretty doggone good.

    I would encourage you to try these noodles of loveliness. You can only get them at Chinese markets I think. But you can order them online. Just make sure they're 100% buckwheat and not mixed with all purpose flour.

    Ah so! Getting creative can be fun!!!

    Tonights dinner came to a mere 350 calories and that's with a nice cut (around 1-1/2 thick) of multigrain-seeded bread.
  • singingflutelady
    singingflutelady Posts: 8,736 Member
    edited September 2016
    Nm. I didn't see where you posted that you didn't care about the readability
  • bugsypemberton
    bugsypemberton Posts: 46 Member
    Not sure I understand your point but, ok.
  • singingflutelady
    singingflutelady Posts: 8,736 Member
    I had written something else but decided to erase it. I had said that maybe break up the posts into separate posts on this thread as I'd love to follow you but I have a low attention span. It's my issue not yours
  • youngmomtaz
    youngmomtaz Posts: 1,075 Member
    Thank you! Food "addiction" is hard. I know, not a real addiction but it sure feels like it. I am learning not to binge. And not to hide it. And how to feed my body thinking of food as fuel 95% of the time. Keep posting, keep moving, accountability is awesome. Recruit some real life friends as well if you can as buddies.

    "Food is fuel".
  • 150poundsofme
    150poundsofme Posts: 523 Member
    Thanks for sharing :)
    Success is addictive.
    Say yes to your potential.
    Consistency.
    Be your own hero.
  • bugsypemberton
    bugsypemberton Posts: 46 Member
    "I had written something else but decided to erase it. I had said that maybe break up the posts into separate posts on this thread as I'd love to follow you but I have a low attention span. It's my issue not yours."

    Thanks for letting me know this. Not all of my posts will be long. Just some days I guess there's more to say than others. I'll try to remember to warn ahead!
  • bugsypemberton
    bugsypemberton Posts: 46 Member
    "Thank you! Food "addiction" is hard. I know, not a real addiction but it sure feels like it. I am learning not to binge. And not to hide it. And how to feed my body thinking of food as fuel 95% of the time. Keep posting, keep moving, accountability is awesome. Recruit some real life friends as well if you can as buddies."

    "Food is fuel".
    Love the slogan! I am 61 years old. Some days I feel like an rpg couldn't get me going lol. And other days I'm rarin' to go!

    I'll keep your advice in mind. Maybe think of myself as a car- only right now more like an over-sized clunker ;)
  • bugsypemberton
    bugsypemberton Posts: 46 Member
    edited September 2016
    BYEBYE SUNDAY!................................................................................medium length article



    So, this is another day. Sunday in fact. Sunday morning breakfast is light.
    Sunday morning lunch is a sandwich of some kind.
    And then there's Sunday dinner.

    Remember Sunday dinners? I do. As a kid and when my kids were little. I think this sickness is passed on through families!

    Here's how Sunday dinner went in my family.

    There was always some kind of hefty meat. Roast, meatloaf, even roast chicken. Back then chicken was "cheap food" (or cheep food, depending on whether or not the chicken was alive right before baking).

    You could smell it cooking all day. I think it was a Mom conspiracy to make us want to eat all the food on our plate. Which brings me to a brief side track question:

    Did your parents tell you to eat everything on your plate? And how do you handle the accompanying guilt trip of: there are starving children all over the place!

    Anyway, you could hear the whirring of Moms new hand mixer (they were all the rage when they first came out). You could smell the green beans cooking (in ham fat, of course). And then there was the smell of some fresh homemade pastry still lingering from the night before.

    Suddenly, come Sunday afternoon, you were presented with this culinary culmination of waiting, waiting and more waiting for Sunday Dinner.

    And you scarfed it down as if you hadn't eaten in months! And it tasted as good as it smelled!

    Today they call all of this "comfort food". As if eating anything else made EVERYTHING else "uncomfortable food".

    Mashed potatoes and gravy? Comfort food.
    Tossed salad in a light dressing? Uncomfortable food.

    Chicken and dumplings? Comfort food.
    Squash casserole (no crackers) and salmon? Uncomfortable food.

    You get where I'm going?

    I am convinced that todays' motivational food handlers intentionally place bad messages about food in our subconscious. But Sunday dinner was an accidental messaging because Sunday dinner wasn't intended to make us obese. It was intended to give us a time when we could all sit down together, enjoy one another's company, and do what mankind has done since the ions of time: share a meal with the ones we love.

    So today's dinner is:

    Chicken Shepherds Pie
    1 can (10 1/2 ounces) Campbell’s® Healthy Request® Condensed Cream of Mushroom Soup
    1 1/4 cups water
    1 1/4 pounds skinless, boneless chicken breast halves, cut into 1inch
    pieces
    3/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
    1/2 teaspoon onion powder
    1/2 teaspoon poultry seasoning, crushed
    1 tablespoon vegetable oil
    1 package (16 ounces) frozen mixed vegetables (carrots, green beans, corn, peas), thawed
    1 cup instant mashed potato flakes
    1 cup fat free evaporated milk
    1/4 cup shredded (2% milk) low fat Cheddar cheese

    Heat the oven to 350°F. Stir the soup and 1/4 cup water in a large bowl.

    Season the chicken with 1/2 teaspoon black pepper, the onion powder and poultry seasoning. Heat the oil in a 12inch skillet over medium high heat.

    Add the chicken and cook until well browned, stirring occasionally.

    Add the chicken and vegetables to the soup mixture and stir to coat. Spoon the chicken mixture into a 2quart
    round casserole.

    Microwave the remaining water in a microwavable bowl on HIGH for 1 to 2 minutes or until hot. Add the potato flakes and stir until the water is absorbed. Stir in the milk and remaining black pepper. Loosely cover and microwave on HIGH for 2 minutes or until the mixture is hot. Spread the potato mixture over the chicken mixture. Sprinkle with the cheese.

    Bake for 40 minutes or until the chicken mixture is hot and bubbling.

    I've never made this before. My sons girlfriend is coming over for the day so a four-person casserole seemed a good idea. Campbells has lightened things up.

    Will review after tasting but you get the idea. At 350 calories per serving, not half bad!











  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    You're only accountable to you. I doubt many care to the extent we like to think they do

    Nice point.

    I have been struggling as to what to say here. This is a personal journal of thoughts, journal of a personal nature of one's days of activities and events, what's being eaten for dinner and actual reading of the recipes.. confused in this matter and using this platform.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    You're only accountable to you. I doubt many care to the extent we like to think they do

    Nice point.

    I have been struggling as to what to say here. This is a personal journal of thoughts, journal of a personal nature of one's days of activities and events, what's being eaten for dinner and actual reading of the recipes.. confused in this matter and using this platform.

    OP doesn't want to blog...
  • bugsypemberton
    bugsypemberton Posts: 46 Member
    "You're only accountable to you. I doubt many care to the extent we like to think they do"

    Its a proven fact that if you're accountable to others, most people do much better with their weight loss or whatever they're trying to accomplish. Maybe you don't want to see it, that's fine. Just skip over the thread (it's not so hard to do). But I had an account on here back when I first lost tons of weight and I noticed that nobody read the blog! Hello! And yet I wanted the accountability- the positive peer pressure- whatever you want to call it.

    So I thought this would put it out there more.

    And no, I am not "only accountable to me". I am accountable to everyone in my family. I am accountable to my dog. I am accountable to you, even. Because if I tell people I use myfitnesspal.com to help me with weight loss and then I fail, I fail you and everyone else on here.

    Would life were so simple as "it doesn't matter, I can hide the problem, after all, its just MY problem!" If that were the case I would wolf down a NY Cheesecake, a Giffs burger, and some dutch German chocolate cake topped with a bowl of pasta right now, take a huge burp, and die in my cardiac arrest, comfortable in the thought that nobody really cares, after all, I am ONLY responsible to ME.

    Sorry to be so blunt here but really? You can't just skip this thread? Maybe, just maybe, there's others on here who share the same thoughts and feelings on a daily basis. Maybe they're wondering: "what the heck CAN I eat?" Or maybe someone else has lived with the shame and guilt of hiding things in the kitchen or sneaking a meal out just to have something they know they shouldn't be eating in such large amounts.

    So if this thread bothers you please, you won't hurt my feelings if you decide not to read it but allow me the right- no the privilege- of sharing this with others. It's not against the rules of myfitnesspal for me to use this simple thread this way.

    One more thing: there are people on here already who are cheering me on. More than they probably know! It's like having friends who care enough to say they have a good idea, some advice, prayers, a slogan or just an "atta girl".

    That's kind of what myfitnesspal is all about, isn't it?
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    I'm not Baptist but there aren't any sermons against gluttony in COC either. To lose the weight I've lost, I chose to learn how to cook by the stir-fry method, as it allows me to discretely measure and include the various items and is not amenable to the inclusion of flour. From the ways you describe being a food addict, I guess I'm not. Anyway, it's time to get up and get ready for the evening service.
  • bugsypemberton
    bugsypemberton Posts: 46 Member
    Thanks so much, Jerome.

    Stir fry is great! In a way I wish there was more of a push towards health in churches. I guess there's some out there that do. I've just not found one in my area as yet.

    By the way guys, I ate the recipe for todays little casserole. Not bad. Had to amp up the black pepper to get some zing and substituted the canned milk with unsweetened plain almond milk.

    All in all, not a bad dish. I think I would redo it some though. Decrease the water by half and not add the cheese until after the taters get browned.
  • bugsypemberton
    bugsypemberton Posts: 46 Member
    edited September 2016
    has anyone else here ever had salad for breakfast?

    It seems that we're taught a lot of things that we carry over into our grown up years. One of those is what constitutes breakfast.

    Think about this for a moment if you will.

    Long before you could reach the upper shelf of the fridge, you were being given breakfast. This usually consisted of some kind of cereal, hot or cold and maybe something else on the side.

    In my generation the cereal of choice was cornflakes. Then again, we didn't have too many choices. It's not like today where there's an entire aisle devoted to various flakes and crunchies- much of which is sugar coated.

    No, back in my day you basically had three choices: flaked corn, puffed rice, and something that went snap, crackle and pop. That took up a whole 4 feet on one shelf.

    Today you have so many choices it's not even funny- its mind boggling. But with all these choices we're still doing breakfast the same way!

    Unless, of course, you were raised on a farm. In which case you ate the classic farmers breakfast: eggs, ham or bacon, pancakes, biscuits and gravy and maybe some fruit. Maybe. The difference between now and then, however, is the application of the food. Back then you got up at four, worked until 7, ate and went back outside and worked some more. Today,on the other hand, we get up at 7, schlep to the I-Hop, order the farmers breakfast, chow down and go sit at a desk.

    You want to know something? I think we need to change breakfast to meet the times. We don't live in the 1800's and we don't live in 1950. And I bet most of us aren't farmers. We live in todays world and we need to fuel our bodies in a way that works with our today lives.

    So, being the brain child that I am (cough cough) I had salad for breakfast. No- not fruit salad! REAL salad. A cob salad portioned out by WalMart Marketplace. A little chicken. A little lean ham. A little shredded cheese. A little dressing. A lot of lettuce. Accumulating into 240 calories.

    Basically its blending the two old time breakfasts together. Well, in a way. There's proteins (meat) dairy (cheese and creamy dressing) and crunch (lettuce).

    And you know what? It was weird to do but I liked it!

    So, if you're of a mind, let me know what you're doing for breakfast. I would love to hear.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    You'll get more responses if you start a new thread with 'breakfast' in the title.

    Or see some of these: http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/search?adv=1&search=&title=breakfast&author=&cat=all&tags=&discussion_d=1&comment_c=1&group_group=1&within=1+day&date=

This discussion has been closed.