PUTTING IT OUT THERE
Replies
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lemonychild wrote: »You're only accountable to you. I doubt many care to the extent we like to think they do
Nice point.
I have been struggling as to what to say here. This is a personal journal of thoughts, journal of a personal nature of one's days of activities and events, what's being eaten for dinner and actual reading of the recipes.. confused in this matter and using this platform.
Actually Roxie, no, it's not a "personal journal". Its an open recounting and sharing of thoughts, insights and maybe even some recipes and products.
I have to wonder though: why dump on someone else trying to get healthier? Maybe lemonychild doesn't care about my struggles and thoughts. That's okay. But if she really believes others don't care to the extent "we think they do", then why bother to tell others her thoughts and ideas, etc?
This platform is called a "message board", Roxie. It doesn't specify what kind of message you put up, as long as you follow the rules outlined in the website terms of service (TOS). Which my posts certainly do.
I chose this venue because I do not want to hide my problem any more. Oh, I guess I could blog it. And the blogs allow you to hide your posts. That's the very thing I do NOT need to do. Even if nobody reads what I write here, I am still being open, for the first time since this struggle began!
So for you, Ms Roxie, and others who say they're confused, I hope this explanation helps.
A lack of transparency only works if you're in government.
For the rest of us it only messes up our lives more. 0 -
But this is a blog?. On a general message forum? Surely you blog and then come on the forum with a quick round up of your blogpost and a link to the blog.
I cant see anybody "dumping" on you; I think they are just wondering why your blogging on a message/general forum.I've never seen blogging as hiding, more of a diary/memorandum where you can go into more details and even add pictures and more links.
In fact I think a blog allows you the freedom to confess all and more to yourself and others.
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bugsypemberton wrote: »lemonychild wrote: »You're only accountable to you. I doubt many care to the extent we like to think they do
Nice point.
I have been struggling as to what to say here. This is a personal journal of thoughts, journal of a personal nature of one's days of activities and events, what's being eaten for dinner and actual reading of the recipes.. confused in this matter and using this platform.
Actually Roxie, no, it's not a "personal journal". Its an open recounting and sharing of thoughts, insights and maybe even some recipes and products.
I have to wonder though: why dump on someone else trying to get healthier? Maybe lemonychild doesn't care about my struggles and thoughts. That's okay. But if she really believes others don't care to the extent "we think they do", then why bother to tell others her thoughts and ideas, etc?
This platform is called a "message board", Roxie. It doesn't specify what kind of message you put up, as long as you follow the rules outlined in the website terms of service (TOS). Which my posts certainly do.
I chose this venue because I do not want to hide my problem any more. Oh, I guess I could blog it. And the blogs allow you to hide your posts. That's the very thing I do NOT need to do. Even if nobody reads what I write here, I am still being open, for the first time since this struggle began!
So for you, Ms Roxie, and others who say they're confused, I hope this explanation helps.
A lack of transparency only works if you're in government. For the rest of us it only messes up our lives more.
@bugsypemberton you're getting pushback because you are using a discussion board to blog. While it may not be against the rules, we're not used to seeing that, and many of us find it odd.
There are people in my friends list who will post on their feed when they have a new blog post up. To me, that's a more natural use of this platform.3 -
bugsypemberton wrote: »lemonychild wrote: »You're only accountable to you. I doubt many care to the extent we like to think they do
Its a proven fact that if you're accountable to others, most people do much better with their weight loss or whatever they're trying to accomplish.
Before I came to MFP, I was a member of WW. I did much better doing the online program on my own, being accountable only to myself, than I did when I was going to meetings and had to get weighed in front of someone.
I think that having an "accountability buddy" vs being accountable only to yourself is personal preference. But if you can provide links to studies that show that it is a "proven fact", and not just your personal opinion, that people do much better when accountable to others, I'd be happy to read them.
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booksandchocolate12 wrote: »bugsypemberton wrote: »lemonychild wrote: »You're only accountable to you. I doubt many care to the extent we like to think they do
Its a proven fact that if you're accountable to others, most people do much better with their weight loss or whatever they're trying to accomplish.
Before I came to MFP, I was a member of WW. I did much better doing the online program on my own, being accountable only to myself, than I did when I was going to meetings and had to get weighed in front of someone.
I think that having an "accountability buddy" vs being accountable only to yourself is personal preference. But if you can provide links to studies that show that it is a "proven fact", and not just your personal opinion, that people do much better when accountable to others, I'd be happy to read them.
Not a problem
http://www.webmd.com/diet/obesity/features/choosing-weight-loss-buddy#1
http://www.signaturemedicinemd.com/weight-loss/personal-accountability
"So how can you accept and show your accountability? Paradoxically, showing personal accountability may mean being accountable to someone else. In much the same way as most of us learn that being accountable to our team or our school with “spirit” is a powerful motivator for striving toward a goal such as winning a game, being accountable to someone else can help you stay true to your weight loss goals. A weight loss buddy, workout buddy or even a dietitian or personal trainer can help. You may also choose to make your commitment public by starting a weight loss blog or social media page."
I particularly found the above interesting as it mentions blog or media page. The problem I found with blogging is that it has the option to HIDE your entries. Believe me when I say I would certainly hide it, which leads to giving up.
http://www.fivewayfitness.com/how-does-accountability-help-with-weight-loss/
There's a lot more out there if you're interested.
I think its GREAT that you're able to self-start and self-maintain on this issue. Maybe food isn't really your obsession (addiction, whatever people want to call it).
Everyone has their addiction they may hide. For some its sneaking that extra cigarette. Or maybe a sip of booze they hide. Or it could be something like Mountain Dew. My husband quit Mountain Dew when it ended up costing us in excess of $1200.00 for his teeth to get fixed. I was his support. But when it comes to my food addiction, I actually need accountability from those who understand it, which he does not.
Some people can do it alone or basically by themselves. I respect that. I cannot.
Someone once said "know thyself". Believe me, I do.
Congrats on your success!!!
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kshama2001 wrote: »bugsypemberton wrote: »lemonychild wrote: »You're only accountable to you. I doubt many care to the extent we like to think they do
Nice point.
I have been struggling as to what to say here. This is a personal journal of thoughts, journal of a personal nature of one's days of activities and events, what's being eaten for dinner and actual reading of the recipes.. confused in this matter and using this platform.
Actually Roxie, no, it's not a "personal journal". Its an open recounting and sharing of thoughts, insights and maybe even some recipes and products.
I have to wonder though: why dump on someone else trying to get healthier? Maybe lemonychild doesn't care about my struggles and thoughts. That's okay. But if she really believes others don't care to the extent "we think they do", then why bother to tell others her thoughts and ideas, etc?
This platform is called a "message board", Roxie. It doesn't specify what kind of message you put up, as long as you follow the rules outlined in the website terms of service (TOS). Which my posts certainly do.
I chose this venue because I do not want to hide my problem any more. Oh, I guess I could blog it. And the blogs allow you to hide your posts. That's the very thing I do NOT need to do. Even if nobody reads what I write here, I am still being open, for the first time since this struggle began!
So for you, Ms Roxie, and others who say they're confused, I hope this explanation helps.
A lack of transparency only works if you're in government. For the rest of us it only messes up our lives more.
@bugsypemberton you're getting pushback because you are using a discussion board to blog. While it may not be against the rules, we're not used to seeing that, and many of us find it odd.
There are people in my friends list who will post on their feed when they have a new blog post up. To me, that's a more natural use of this platform.
Maybe you can answer my question:
What is so earth shattering about this? Why are some people so seemingly disturbed by it? There's no rule saying it cannot be done. And nobody has to click on the thread.
So what's the issue?
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OKAY NOW if someone would kindly tell me who is making you all read this thread out of the thousands available on myfitnesspal, I would like to know! Shame on them for making you click on this thread and double shame on them for making you read it!
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Jaidann1962 wrote: »Thank you for sharing. It's not easy to step out of a shell.
Jaidann I wanted to reiterate my thank you to you and others who seem to understand why I selected this over a blog format.
Maybe others dont understand the technology well enough so I will attempt to explain.
Blogs were originated not to be public. Instead they came along as an alternative to the message board. Unlike the message board, which is designed to provide electronic communications between people in an open format, the blog was originally designed as a personal diary, albeit online, that could be closed off to the public.
Over time, though offering the option to stay private, some people opted to make their blogs public. But if you haven't noticed, there's always the option to HIDE your blog. Even with a service like blogger.com.
Message boards, on the other hand. Not so much. Sure you can make it to where a select group only can view segments, but the main body is available.
On MFB, you have to know people before you can include them as a "friend" so they will even know the blog is out there. So how is that any different from using the forum in order to know others and be accountable to them? There isn't really. Except the blog is "more private". Something some of us would take too much advantage of.
What both have in common is the option to read them is only a click away. As is the option not to read them.
Anyway, thanks to Jaidann and others who understand why.
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HERE'S THE SLOGAN ENTRIES THUS FAR:
queenliz99 No more excuses"!
Petrolhead75 'just keep moving'
youngmomtaz "Food is fuel"
150poundsofme Success is addictive.
Say yes to your potential.
Consistency.
Be your own hero.
Wow these are good! Keep 'em rollin folks! I'm doing this through the month of September!
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bugsypemberton wrote: »OKAY NOW if someone would kindly tell me who is making you all read this thread out of the thousands available on myfitnesspal, I would like to know! Shame on them for making you click on this thread and double shame on them for making you read it!
I keep coming back to read what others responses are. I generally skip over your posts.
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Following...
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bugsypemberton wrote: »lemonychild wrote: »You're only accountable to you. I doubt many care to the extent we like to think they do
Nice point.
I have been struggling as to what to say here. This is a personal journal of thoughts, journal of a personal nature of one's days of activities and events, what's being eaten for dinner and actual reading of the recipes.. confused in this matter and using this platform.
Actually Roxie, no, it's not a "personal journal". Its an open recounting and sharing of thoughts, insights and maybe even some recipes and products.
I have to wonder though: why dump on someone else trying to get healthier? Maybe lemonychild doesn't care about my struggles and thoughts. That's okay. But if she really believes others don't care to the extent "we think they do", then why bother to tell others her thoughts and ideas, etc?
This platform is called a "message board", Roxie. It doesn't specify what kind of message you put up, as long as you follow the rules outlined in the website terms of service (TOS). Which my posts certainly do.
I chose this venue because I do not want to hide my problem any more. Oh, I guess I could blog it. And the blogs allow you to hide your posts. That's the very thing I do NOT need to do. Even if nobody reads what I write here, I am still being open, for the first time since this struggle began!
So for you, Ms Roxie, and others who say they're confused, I hope this explanation helps.
A lack of transparency only works if you're in government. For the rest of us it only messes up our lives more.
Because I did not elaborate on my post/comment does not mean in any way.. the use of the terminology you used to imply in any way that I was "dump on someone else trying to get healthier"..
I do agree with many others though that this platform is meant for something a bit different.
edited to add as I forgot this idea: you can create a GROUP in MFP and ask people to join you in this particular "theme" you are wanting people to engage in with you.3 -
Some people have no manners. Shame on them.
Good luck with the weight loss. 4 -
bugsypemberton wrote: »OKAY NOW if someone would kindly tell me who is making you all read this thread out of the thousands available on myfitnesspal, I would like to know! Shame on them for making you click on this thread and double shame on them for making you read it!
No body is forcing anyone to read a particular forum post. For me personally I look at the most recent posts and click on on the titles that sound interesting, or where I can relate, or if I think I have some insight. Maybe if your title was more accurate you wouldn't be receiving this type of feedback. We can chose to click on a post, so purposely making in vague is a bit misleading. Even having "Putting it out there - my accountability blog" would at least give people an idea of what the post is about.2 -
bugsypemberton wrote: »
Oh. I meant actual studies or articles from medical journals, not blogs or WebMD postings. But that's fine.bugsypemberton wrote: »Some people can do it alone or basically by themselves.
But I thought it was a proven fact that people can't do it alone?
Sorry...I just have a problem with people presenting things as fact that in reality, are not. It happens here a lot.
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Isn't there a blog function on MFP? I don't use it but I know people on my FL do. Maybe OP is unaware.1
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Alluminati wrote: »Isn't there a blog function on MFP? I don't use it but I know people on my FL do. Maybe OP is unaware.
OP stated they didn't want to use the blog function....0 -
Alluminati wrote: »Isn't there a blog function on MFP? I don't use it but I know people on my FL do. Maybe OP is unaware.
OP stated they didn't want to use the blog function....
Why not? I guess I must have missed it there was a lot of words.1 -
Best slogan......ever. Never up, never in. OP is asking for golf slogans correct?!?0
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bugsypemberton wrote: »OKAY NOW if someone would kindly tell me who is making you all read this thread out of the thousands available on myfitnesspal, I would like to know! Shame on them for making you click on this thread and double shame on them for making you read it!
I keep coming back to read what others responses are. I generally skip over your posts.
works for me, honeybee!
btw..that news guy scarfing popcorn? not terribly annoying other than its a poorly done .gif1 -
booksandchocolate12 wrote: »bugsypemberton wrote: »
Oh. I meant actual studies or articles from medical journals, not blogs or WebMD postings. But that's fine.bugsypemberton wrote: »Some people can do it alone or basically by themselves.
But I thought it was a proven fact that people can't do it alone?
Sorry...I just have a problem with people presenting things as fact that in reality, are not. It happens here a lot.
If you had stated that first I wouldve supplied the info.
Perhaps you were mistaken in what it is you're looking for?
http://ebn.bmj.com/content/12/3/92.full.pdf+html
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3060773/
"This Internet weight loss community plays a prominent role in participants’ weight loss efforts. Social support within Internet weight loss communities merits further evaluation as a weight loss resource for clinicians to recommend to patients. Understanding these communities could improve how health professionals evaluate, build, harness, and manipulate social support for weight loss."
http://www.apa.org/topics/obesity/support.aspx
And last but not least- THE MAYO CLINIC
http://diet.mayoclinic.org/diet/motivate/social-support-for-weight-loss?xid=nl_MayoClinicDiet_20151021
"If you don't have a weight-loss support team, use these strategies to create one. If you do, take advantage of your team's help and let them know how much their support means to you. According to research, having friends or family members who are supportive of your healthy eating and exercise goals is important for long-term weight-loss success."
They even suggested creating a team, chilibean
Gee, if this is what you really wanted, why didn't you say so to begin with?0 -
bugsypemberton wrote: »lemonychild wrote: »You're only accountable to you. I doubt many care to the extent we like to think they do
Nice point.
I have been struggling as to what to say here. This is a personal journal of thoughts, journal of a personal nature of one's days of activities and events, what's being eaten for dinner and actual reading of the recipes.. confused in this matter and using this platform.
Actually Roxie, no, it's not a "personal journal". Its an open recounting and sharing of thoughts, insights and maybe even some recipes and products.
I have to wonder though: why dump on someone else trying to get healthier? Maybe lemonychild doesn't care about my struggles and thoughts. That's okay. But if she really believes others don't care to the extent "we think they do", then why bother to tell others her thoughts and ideas, etc?
This platform is called a "message board", Roxie. It doesn't specify what kind of message you put up, as long as you follow the rules outlined in the website terms of service (TOS). Which my posts certainly do.
I chose this venue because I do not want to hide my problem any more. Oh, I guess I could blog it. And the blogs allow you to hide your posts. That's the very thing I do NOT need to do. Even if nobody reads what I write here, I am still being open, for the first time since this struggle began!
So for you, Ms Roxie, and others who say they're confused, I hope this explanation helps.
A lack of transparency only works if you're in government. For the rest of us it only messes up our lives more.
Because I did not elaborate on my post/comment does not mean in any way.. the use of the terminology you used to imply in any way that I was "dump on someone else trying to get healthier"..
I do agree with many others though that this platform is meant for something a bit different.
edited to add as I forgot this idea: you can create a GROUP in MFP and ask people to join you in this particular "theme" you are wanting people to engage in with you.
If this thread here bothers you that much its perfectly okay to skip it, isn't it? I dont go the threads I don't like reading. I peek in, see whats there, if its not my thing I leave.
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JennieMaeK wrote: »bugsypemberton wrote: »OKAY NOW if someone would kindly tell me who is making you all read this thread out of the thousands available on myfitnesspal, I would like to know! Shame on them for making you click on this thread and double shame on them for making you read it!
No body is forcing anyone to read a particular forum post. For me personally I look at the most recent posts and click on on the titles that sound interesting, or where I can relate, or if I think I have some insight. Maybe if your title was more accurate you wouldn't be receiving this type of feedback. We can chose to click on a post, so purposely making in vague is a bit misleading. Even having "Putting it out there - my accountability blog" would at least give people an idea of what the post is about.
Nothing vague nor misleading about it. My very first few posts explain it all. But at least you have a constructive criticism. I'll take that and run with it. Except its not a blog per se. Its a forum.0 -
bugsypemberton wrote: »bugsypemberton wrote: »lemonychild wrote: »You're only accountable to you. I doubt many care to the extent we like to think they do
Nice point.
I have been struggling as to what to say here. This is a personal journal of thoughts, journal of a personal nature of one's days of activities and events, what's being eaten for dinner and actual reading of the recipes.. confused in this matter and using this platform.
Actually Roxie, no, it's not a "personal journal". Its an open recounting and sharing of thoughts, insights and maybe even some recipes and products.
I have to wonder though: why dump on someone else trying to get healthier? Maybe lemonychild doesn't care about my struggles and thoughts. That's okay. But if she really believes others don't care to the extent "we think they do", then why bother to tell others her thoughts and ideas, etc?
This platform is called a "message board", Roxie. It doesn't specify what kind of message you put up, as long as you follow the rules outlined in the website terms of service (TOS). Which my posts certainly do.
I chose this venue because I do not want to hide my problem any more. Oh, I guess I could blog it. And the blogs allow you to hide your posts. That's the very thing I do NOT need to do. Even if nobody reads what I write here, I am still being open, for the first time since this struggle began!
So for you, Ms Roxie, and others who say they're confused, I hope this explanation helps.
A lack of transparency only works if you're in government. For the rest of us it only messes up our lives more.
Because I did not elaborate on my post/comment does not mean in any way.. the use of the terminology you used to imply in any way that I was "dump on someone else trying to get healthier"..
I do agree with many others though that this platform is meant for something a bit different.
edited to add as I forgot this idea: you can create a GROUP in MFP and ask people to join you in this particular "theme" you are wanting people to engage in with you.
If this thread here bothers you that much its perfectly okay to skip it, isn't it? I dont go the threads I don't like reading. I peek in, see whats there, if its not my thing I leave.
Oh my dear.. Perhaps all things are getting lost in translation and maybe a bit headstrong... And lastly, I provided another method that is not a blog but a Group environment in which you have your own forum similar to this one that is created to be tailored for specific group setting of the same interests and you have your very own platform. Good luck with all this..
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So last night I was standing in WalMart. Not the best place to be after a depressing day on MFP's forum.JennieMaeK wrote: »bugsypemberton wrote: »OKAY NOW if someone would kindly tell me who is making you all read this thread out of the thousands available on myfitnesspal, I would like to know! Shame on them for making you click on this thread and double shame on them for making you read it!
No body is forcing anyone to read a particular forum post. For me personally I look at the most recent posts and click on on the titles that sound interesting, or where I can relate, or if I think I have some insight. Maybe if your title was more accurate you wouldn't be receiving this type of feedback. We can chose to click on a post, so purposely making in vague is a bit misleading. Even having "Putting it out there - my accountability blog" would at least give people an idea of what the post is about.
I tried to institute your suggestion but there's no function to allow changing the title of a thread
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bul·ly1
ˈbo͝olē/Submit
verb
gerund or present participle: bullying
use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants.
"a local man was bullied into helping them"
synonyms: persecute, oppress, tyrannize, browbeat, harass, torment, intimidate, strong-arm, dominate;
In case anyone doubts the definition.
Anyway, so last night I got to thinking about the events of my life that involved emotional eating. Bullying, I have to say, has taken center stage.
I was never the biggest girl in my class until puberty. When it came along, seemed like June busted out ALL over! In any given group photo, I was the easy one to spot. The One Rotund. I assume others have dealt with being the biggest or close to it?
To make things even better, I was also the girl with glasses. Back then there wasn't the concept of health insurance like we have (or used to have- no politics please) today. No, you paid for everything! And that included eye exams and glasses. But for a family of seven, doing so wasn't an easy feat.
So, we got the most affordable glasses which, in my case, were these blechy cat-eyes glasses. I know, they're kind of 'in' now. But when you're fourteen, and the other kids are wearing cool wire frames? Um, not so good.
Bullying back then, for me anyway, wasn't as overt as covert. It was summed up in giggles and snickers and, on occasion, those words every overweight girl dreads hearing: "you have such a pretty face...."
Those are usually followed by "if you would only lose some weight".
I tried fighting back, quietly, internally. Surprise! It doesn't work.
I tried losing the weight. After all, maybe if others weren't so uncomfortable seeing my little fat self then they'd leave me alone, right?
That's the worst reason to lose weight.
It hasn't always been about weight, glasses or other exteriors per se. It's also been bullying simply because others feel uncomfortable with openness. Whether it was in writing or art, or any other medium, down through the centuries, whenever someone strikes a nerve, there's an attempt by someone (or someones) to silence them or bully the person into following "the crowd".
We MUST conform! Frank Sinatra sang a song about that: "I did it YOUR way". Unfortunately, that particular version never made it out of the studio.
So last night, as I stood there in the WalMart, seriously considering an .89 pack of white macadamia nut cookies (three for less than a buck? Yeah buddy!) I felt this strong urge to yell. To scream. Not at people but at the cookie! And then I realized: I've spent a lot of time on this forum responding to people who, in their own little subconscious ways, are trying to bully me. Thus bringing back all the emotions I've had whenever I felt bullied in the past. Correction: not felt bullied- WAS bullied.
Rather than yell at the cookie, I decided just to put on ignore those who use this thread to derail my success in keeping up with it. Those who want to read snarky comments can. From here on out, perhaps for the first real time in my life, I am going to turn my back to bullies and walk proudly away, just like I did with that cookie last night.
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You are not being bullied, at all.
Telling you something you don't want to hear or not agreeing with you does not equate to bullying.9 -
" one day at a time" ," be nice to yourself as you would a friend", " take it easy", " how important is it?"," you are strong and you can do this!" i personally have tried so may alternatives, paying a lot of money to lose weight. to my surprise this site has taught me to eat right and in proper proportions, simplicity.....expend more than you take in. all these years to finally get to this simple conclusion. i can eat all of my favorites if i make room in my diary, add exercise but i do not eat back the calories. so simple, but media wants to make it so complicated to sell whatever is the in diet. to me this is a lifestyle permanent change, not a diet, just a way of life." one day at a time!" jen0
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lemonychild wrote: »You're only accountable to you. I doubt many care to the extent we like to think they do
exactly.3
This discussion has been closed.
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