Birthdays and holidays

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13

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  • Chef_Barbell
    Chef_Barbell Posts: 6,646 Member
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    KurumiSophia wrote: »
    cappri wrote: »
    KurumiSophia wrote: »
    I'm not kind to myself. I don't recall a time that I have *ever* been kind to myself.

    So yes I am punishing myself for being fat and disgusting. This is my punishment for getting to where I am now. No fun stuff.

    You are most likely setting yourself up for failure then. Losing weight and getting healthy are not a punishment and do not have to mean "No fun stuff." It seems like you don't actually want the helpful ideas people in this thread are trying to give you? Perhaps you are not really ready to embrace this journey?

    I have to be. I am at an unacceptable weight and I won't let it stand. This means only healthy stuff, no treats. Treats will come when I hit goal. That will be my reward.

    So will a unhealthy mindset about food.
  • amyepdx
    amyepdx Posts: 750 Member
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    I have to be. I am at an unacceptable weight and I won't let it stand. This means only healthy stuff, no treats. Treats will come when I hit goal. That will be my reward. [/quote]

    You are setting yourself up for failure. People who have been very successful have given you excellent advice - if you choose not to take it (or even acknowledge it) then that's on you.
  • singingflutelady
    singingflutelady Posts: 8,736 Member
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    You're setting yourself up for massive binging in the vet near future.
  • malibu927
    malibu927 Posts: 17,565 Member
    edited September 2016
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    KurumiSophia wrote: »
    cappri wrote: »
    KurumiSophia wrote: »
    I'm not kind to myself. I don't recall a time that I have *ever* been kind to myself.

    So yes I am punishing myself for being fat and disgusting. This is my punishment for getting to where I am now. No fun stuff.

    You are most likely setting yourself up for failure then. Losing weight and getting healthy are not a punishment and do not have to mean "No fun stuff." It seems like you don't actually want the helpful ideas people in this thread are trying to give you? Perhaps you are not really ready to embrace this journey?

    I have to be. I am at an unacceptable weight and I won't let it stand. This means only healthy stuff, no treats. Treats will come when I hit goal. That will be my reward.

    I don't know what your stats are, but I started out with 115 pounds to lose and never deprived myself of treats. Otherwise I'd end up bingeing on them. Even if I was low on calories, I'd have a 70-calorie square of dark chocolate. I still eat fast food every Thursday night and pizza nearly every Friday night, just smaller portions and better choices than before.

    Losing weight doesn't mean you can't enjoy food.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    What helped me learn to be a more moderate eater was to log everything and to remind myself that none of these foods are rare. I can eat them any time I want. Then I did eat them whenever I felt like it in appropriate quantities for my goal. No guilt. No drama.

    I don't think extreme restriction and avoidance is going to help you learn to lose weight and keep it off. Someday you are going to have these things again and it is going to be hard if you put them in that restricted category.
  • snickerscharlie
    snickerscharlie Posts: 8,578 Member
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    OP, please seek some counselling. Your self-loathing is very worrisome.
  • AnabolicMind2011
    AnabolicMind2011 Posts: 211 Member
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    snickerscharlie wrote: »
    KurumiSophia wrote: »
    So I realized this morning that since I am trying to lose weight, I am now cut off from things like birthday cake, treats at holidays, and my favorite thing in the whole 'verse second only to pumpkin: eggnog.

    This is gonna make the next 4 months absolute Hades. (I say 4 because this is also the start of birthday season in my family. For whatever reason, we have a ton of birthdays at the end of the year) The food at my family get togethers is almost always filled with gravy, sauces, dips, sweets, and all the things that are going to put lbs back on my butt instead of take it off.

    How in the world can I get through this w/o being a bloody killjoy and touching nothing while I'm there?

    Simple. Include some of these things in your calorie allotment. Enjoy everything but take smaller portions than you normally would. Life does not stop because you've decided to lose weight. And punishing yourself rarely works out in the long run. If you have a day here and there that you go over your calorie goal because you were celebrating with family and friends, remember that it's just a day and in the long-term marathon that is weight loss, it's pretty darned irrelevant.

    Log what you consume on those days - just like on every other day - and move on. You can also add a bit more exercise on those days to help offset the extra calories, or cut back on what you eat earlier that day to compensate somewhat.

    Basically, moderation over deprivation. For most people, it's the key to success. :)

    Qft
  • TonyB0588
    TonyB0588 Posts: 9,520 Member
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    KurumiSophia wrote: »
    So I realized this morning that since I am trying to lose weight, I am now cut off from things like birthday cake, treats at holidays, and my favorite thing in the whole 'verse second only to pumpkin: eggnog.

    This is gonna make the next 4 months absolute Hades. (I say 4 because this is also the start of birthday season in my family. For whatever reason, we have a ton of birthdays at the end of the year) The food at my family get togethers is almost always filled with gravy, sauces, dips, sweets, and all the things that are going to put lbs back on my butt instead of take it off.

    How in the world can I get through this w/o being a bloody killjoy and touching nothing while I'm there?

    MFP works on a balance of Calories in and Calories Out. If you're putting in extra calories by eating and drinking, you'll have to burn out some extra calories by additional exercise.

    Also, you can eat and drink in smaller portions. That way you still taste the stuff without going too excessive on the calorie build-up.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    KurumiSophia wrote: »
    cappri wrote: »
    KurumiSophia wrote: »
    I'm not kind to myself. I don't recall a time that I have *ever* been kind to myself.

    So yes I am punishing myself for being fat and disgusting. This is my punishment for getting to where I am now. No fun stuff.

    You are most likely setting yourself up for failure then. Losing weight and getting healthy are not a punishment and do not have to mean "No fun stuff." It seems like you don't actually want the helpful ideas people in this thread are trying to give you? Perhaps you are not really ready to embrace this journey?

    I have to be. I am at an unacceptable weight and I won't let it stand. This means only healthy stuff, no treats. Treats will come when I hit goal. That will be my reward.

    That's how you set yourself up for failure and gain it all back. Food is not a reward, you are not a dog. If you restrict severely to lose with the idea that you'll be able to go back to 'normal' once you hit goal, you'll be at step one again in no time. Learn to moderate and learn sustainable healthy habits that you can keep for life.

    And get some counselling about tying your self worth to your weight.
  • Bearbo27
    Bearbo27 Posts: 339 Member
    edited September 2016
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    Alatariel75 wrote: »
    KurumiSophia wrote: »
    cappri wrote: »
    KurumiSophia wrote: »
    I'm not kind to myself. I don't recall a time that I have *ever* been kind to myself.

    So yes I am punishing myself for being fat and disgusting. This is my punishment for getting to where I am now. No fun stuff.

    You are most likely setting yourself up for failure then. Losing weight and getting healthy are not a punishment and do not have to mean "No fun stuff." It seems like you don't actually want the helpful ideas people in this thread are trying to give you? Perhaps you are not really ready to embrace this journey?

    I have to be. I am at an unacceptable weight and I won't let it stand. This means only healthy stuff, no treats. Treats will come when I hit goal. That will be my reward.

    That's how you set yourself up for failure and gain it all back. Food is not a reward, you are not a dog. If you restrict severely to lose with the idea that you'll be able to go back to 'normal' once you hit goal, you'll be at step one again in no time. Learn to moderate and learn sustainable healthy habits that you can keep for life.

    And get some counselling about tying your self worth to your weight.

    ^^^ This x 100
    You should NEVER reward yourself with food. What do you think is going to happen after months of restricting your favorite foods? When you finally get your "reward", you are going to go crazy and way over do it. You will have taught yourself nothing about self control or moderation and you will end up gaining weight back. Your best bet is to work on learning how to eat foods in moderation. I love ice cream, but because I know I always way over do it, I buy those mini Magnum ice cream bars. For like 160-190 calories, I get my ice cream fix. Do I want more sometimes, sure, but I look back at all the hard work I've done so far and think about how much I like seeing results. I know that if I eat more than my calorie goal, I will not get to see those results. I am doing this for more than a scale number though. I love that none of my clothes fit because they are all too big now. You have to find what motivates YOU and use that to help control cravings and such. Another quote that helps me is "Losing weight is hard. Being overweight is hard. Choose your hard."

    You can do this and it doesn't have to be miserable. Friend request me if you want. I keep my diary open to friends only.

    ETA: I do limit what friends I have on here since I do keep my diary open to them.
  • TonyB0588
    TonyB0588 Posts: 9,520 Member
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    KurumiSophia wrote: »
    I'm not kind to myself. I don't recall a time that I have *ever* been kind to myself.

    So yes I am punishing myself for being fat and disgusting. This is my punishment for getting to where I am now. No fun stuff.

    What numbers exactly are we talking about here? What is your current weight, and how much are you trying to lose? What amount of daily calories did MFP suggest after you put your profile information in?

    The usual recommendation is to lose approximately 1 lb per week, but certainly not more than 2 lbs each week. This does not involve starving or depriving yourself, but includes eating an adequate amount of food to fuel the body's needs.

    Exercise is also important for healthy muscle function. The right balance of food and exercise will lead to gradual weight loss without any sense of punishment or penalty.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,943 Member
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    That's life, and life is about living. Work those things into your calories goals. Moderation is your friend.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,943 Member
    edited September 2016
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    KurumiSophia wrote: »
    I'm not kind to myself. I don't recall a time that I have *ever* been kind to myself.

    So yes I am punishing myself for being fat and disgusting. This is my punishment for getting to where I am now. No fun stuff.

    This makes me very sad. This kind of negative talk will get you nowhere fast.

    So, where do you end up when you're going nowhere fast?

    Nowhere.

    Forward movement requires you to stop being so mean to yourself and making a plan that you can stick with.
  • Alyssa_Is_LosingIt
    Alyssa_Is_LosingIt Posts: 4,696 Member
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    Gena575 wrote: »
    KurumiSophia wrote: »
    cappri wrote: »
    KurumiSophia wrote: »
    I'm not kind to myself. I don't recall a time that I have *ever* been kind to myself.

    So yes I am punishing myself for being fat and disgusting. This is my punishment for getting to where I am now. No fun stuff.

    You are most likely setting yourself up for failure then. Losing weight and getting healthy are not a punishment and do not have to mean "No fun stuff." It seems like you don't actually want the helpful ideas people in this thread are trying to give you? Perhaps you are not really ready to embrace this journey?

    I have to be. I am at an unacceptable weight and I won't let it stand. This means only healthy stuff, no treats. Treats will come when I hit goal. That will be my reward.

    And thus begins another yo-yo dieters life...

    For real. You're either trolling or think every person responding is stupid. Enjoy your Hades, treat binges at goal weight, Hades, binges, Hades cycle for the rest of your life. Martyr it up at family gatherings. It'll be great.

    This^^^

    OP, you'll never succeed with your attitude. The most successful people on these boards have a healthy outlook on weight loss, don't see foods as good or bad, and have learned to be healthy while still, you know, living their lives. And several of them have given you great advice on this thread, which you're choosing to ignore.

    Please feel free to come back for advice when you give up this go around and decide to try another approach. We will be here, and we will try not to say "I told you so."
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 24,840 Member
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    KurumiSophia wrote: »
    cappri wrote: »
    KurumiSophia wrote: »
    I'm not kind to myself. I don't recall a time that I have *ever* been kind to myself.

    So yes I am punishing myself for being fat and disgusting. This is my punishment for getting to where I am now. No fun stuff.

    You are most likely setting yourself up for failure then. Losing weight and getting healthy are not a punishment and do not have to mean "No fun stuff." It seems like you don't actually want the helpful ideas people in this thread are trying to give you? Perhaps you are not really ready to embrace this journey?

    I have to be. I am at an unacceptable weight and I won't let it stand. This means only healthy stuff, no treats. Treats will come when I hit goal. That will be my reward.

    I would never have successfully lost the weight I wanted to lose if I had gone into it with that attitude.

    I approached it like this ...

    I have a limited number of calories to work with ... therefore I am going to eat the foods I like. I'm not going to waste calories on foods I don't like.

    And so, I enjoy what I eat. :)
  • auddii
    auddii Posts: 15,357 Member
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    KurumiSophia wrote: »
    cappri wrote: »
    KurumiSophia wrote: »
    I'm not kind to myself. I don't recall a time that I have *ever* been kind to myself.

    So yes I am punishing myself for being fat and disgusting. This is my punishment for getting to where I am now. No fun stuff.

    You are most likely setting yourself up for failure then. Losing weight and getting healthy are not a punishment and do not have to mean "No fun stuff." It seems like you don't actually want the helpful ideas people in this thread are trying to give you? Perhaps you are not really ready to embrace this journey?

    I have to be. I am at an unacceptable weight and I won't let it stand. This means only healthy stuff, no treats. Treats will come when I hit goal. That will be my reward.

    Good luck with that. I find that personally, that mentality leads to binges. If I declare something off limits, I start obsessing over it and then going way overboard. I find moderation easier, but I do not keep a lot of treats around the house. Moderation is easier for me to enforce if I can go out and order a single serving of a desert or whatever the case may be. Large quantities around the house can be too much temptation at times. I'm slowly working on increasing willpower, but sometimes, I just have to clear everything out!

    Hopefully eliminating treats works better for you!

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