Maintenance with Overweight Spouse

my hubby and I both do it together. He does slip more than me. I know I cant do a thing with him but he is cheap, so he hates to grow out of clothes so that helps. I know my parents hounded me and I wished they had said something loving like you need to take care of yourself, you take care of others all the time, make time for you. Instead they criticized, called me big fat thing and laughed, asked me how much bigger I would get, did I have fluid, this certainly didn't help.

My husband eats like crap, cheeseburgers and fries for lunch every day, plus drinks tons of beer. The only thing I can control is dinner, so I do my best to make it healthy and tasty. I'd worry about yourself and keeping up with maintenance and fingers crossed he'll come around.

Can you do something that is healthy together, but not food? Can you go to the gym together, go for a hike, etc.? If he starts thinking more about health in general he might be more open about the sugar. In the end, we each have to walk our own road.

In the beginning when we were both morbidly obese and when I changed and I wanted to commit to losing the weight he reluctantly came along for the ride. In his heart he knew that he too was not on a path to longevity and the fact that neither of us had T2 by this point was a bloody miracle, but his head wasn't in the game and this is the crux of the problem.

I can tell you here and now, it was a brutal and frustrating experience as we fell into almost 'trainer' and 'client' roles, there were endless arguments, sulking and resentment on both sides.

For both our sakes I had to cut him loose and do my own stuff and walk my own walk. He did eventually change, got really decently fit and lost a lot of weight...then he got complacent and stopped logging. We had a lot of external stresses and he ate his feelings and without the accountability of MFP he just couldn't see and hadn't learned that he was eating just too much and not burning it off. At this point he has regained over 1/2 of what he lost.

I have tried to encourage him to get back to logging and get in some exercise but it's tricky. It's a fine line between nagging and encroaching on personal space.

Do I worry? *kitten* yes. I worry he's going to have a heart attack (he's 55 in a couple of months) develop diabetes despite the fact that he eats very nutritious and minimally processed foods (he just eats too much). We have talked honestly together about my concerns and he acknowledges them and respects my point of view, he also supports my endeavours to keep my weight stable. Hopefully with time he'll find the strength to change.

To my way of thinking your partner is supporting you by not bringing your trigger foods in the home in quantites that causes you issues. I know it can be a little sad and lonely when you are on seemingly different paths, I get a lot of my support from the MFP community so I hope the same will happen for you too with the forums you have joined.

God that was long. Sorry. I don't know if any of this story is helpful, at least you know there are others who are in similar positions.

Me and my wife are both losing weight, but we eat way differently. I eat 3 solid meals and one small snack after work. She snacks throughout the day and eats light for breakfast and lunch. She has chips and snacks and everything she likes and I buy what I like for a snack. Just do you, don't worry about your spouse. On my days off I eat way different than she does for breakfast and lunch and she snacks throughout the day, she does what works for her, I do what works for me, and shes 25 down and im 40 down.

I hate to tell you this even though you love him, there's not a damn thing you can do to change his mind of how he wants to approach his diet. You don't want to get into the nagging habit and it'll even make him less receptive to what you're talking about.

The only person you can worry about is yourself. Keep on doing what you're doing and let him do what he wants to do maybe at some point things will click for him. Maybe at some point he'll realize I got the hot wife and why are all these other guys checking you out. that might be what it takes to get him to change his attitude. just love him but you have to do this for yourself

You do you, they do themselves. It's how it goes. They'll jump on the wagon when they are ready if they even want to. The more you push, the less they'll want to jump on board.

foursixfour wrote: »

I am in maintenance and have a loving partner who eats junk (major sweet tooth) most of time and binges at night. We watched a documentary on processed sugar, its addictive properties, how it makes you hungry, how it impaires your thinking and other adverse physical affects both long and short term.

Nothing really changed much or very long. For a while he switched from ice cream to fruit yogurt (just as much sugar.

I want to be successful at maintaining. I know my main trigger food and he graciously agrees not to keep more than 1 serving of it for himself to enjoy in the house.

Still, long term what is it like to continue prioritizing nutrition, while being with someone who eats lots of processed food and sugary drinks with little nutritional value?

Does anyone have experiences they can share, positive, negative or mixed? Advice is welcome.

I joined a couple of whole foods and plant based groups on meetup for support and camaraderie of others who are maintaining their health through nutritious eating. I hope it will help to have a peer group.

My guess would be that your spouse doesn't share your extreme views on foods and regarding the two bold paragraphs probably finds your views irritating - continuing to eat his way is his rebellion.

Watching those kind of mockumentaries when you clearly disapprove of his eating habits would certainly come across as preaching at him. Maybe keep it to yourself and/or share with your like-minded support group but don't bring it home? Support the goal of health/weight loss but don't dictate the method.

I lost weight together with my wife but she regained while I maintained. I can support and encourage her but in the end it's her choice, I won't nag her. When she is ready I will support her whilst she loses weight.

Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »

I don't get why people b***ch about their spouses on a public website. Do you really think they don't know your username and can't see what you say about them? Imagine how you would feel if the roles were reversed and they were discussing you/your appearance/your relationship with a bunch of Internet strangers....

My husband knows I say this shizzle about him. Rolls off his back. I take it that he b1tches about me to his buddies when I'm not around. We also say this stuff to each other which is why it's not a drag-out fight if/when either of us finds out.

The anonymity of the internet can help people work out problems because they know the chances of anyone knowing who they really are is slim.

My husband eats what I make for meals in the portions that are served. Beyond that, any snacks or alcohol he chooses to have or exercise he does is his responsibility. He'll be supportive and not open a bottle of wine if I'm being super strict, but other than that I'm not going to police his decisions. He's an intelligent adult who knows what's good and bad for him. If he wants my help losing weight, he'll ask. Otherwise, his weight and how he goes about managing it is up to him. My responsibility is to keep employing my good habits around eating and working out as it applies to me and only me.