Emotionally fed up about loosing weight

It sounds like you're really trying, so I hope things work out for you. Here are a few of my thoughts on the hurdles that you're facing.

Affordability of healthy food: I know what it's like to be worry about money. Healthy food usually doesn't have to cost a lot though - I currently spend on average of $3-$5 per day on food. I could probably make it even less money and continue to progress towards my goals as I did a few years ago when I ate the bare minimum and was much worse at cooking. Some people spend a lot more, some people can spend even less - but I am pretty satisfied with my diet right now and wouldn't change much of it.

Other people on this thread have given ideas such as lentils, he even calculated out the cost to be about 33 cents per serving for the lentils (maybe a little bit more on some spices and maybe some extra flavorings, but still pretty cheap and healthy). I also used to eat beans, and I think well cooked beans can be pretty satisfying and cheap. Where I'm from, a 10 lb bag of pinto beans is about $5.50. That 10 lb bag can make 77 cups of cooked pinto beans for me, which makes it about 14 cents a serving. And the kicker is that they taste a lot better now that I am slightly better at cooking them and especially if I refry them in the same pan that I use to cook my protein (usually chicken when I'm eating beans). They're a little high in carbs, BUT they are better than bread because they have a much lower GI number and their carbs are 1/3 fiber (which does not get absorbed by your body). I don't know if you absolutely can't eat any legumes at all (because you can't eat green beans), but there are plenty of other healthy affordable choices as well if you can't. I'm currently trying out a low carb diet so I usually don't eat beans anymore (although I have lost 60 pounds in the past with a regular non-low carb diet so it was possible for me to just count calories and eat balanced).

Eggs are cheap and pretty nutritious, you could probably use the protein and they have no carbs. Hard boiled are my go to snacks, just add salt and pepper. (12 cents each where I'm from when bought in bulk, unless there's a shortage as there was when I lived elsewhere)

I always check what's on sale at market's on my commute or near where I live. I almost always only buy meat and fruits when they are on sale for the biggest savings. This week, chicken breasts were $1.77/lb, peaches were 5 for a dollar, strawberries were $1/lb, chicken thighs were $1.19/lb, and flank steak was $2.77/lb. I indulged with the steak a little bit, but it's still not too bad in price. I had to learn how to cook them this week too, since I never cooked steak before, but it turned out better than I expected. Cooking is a really good skill to develop when you're on a diet and you have preferences on what you eat.

For veggies, I've been buying lettuce and spinach in bulk at pretty affordable prices (either $3.50 for 6 heads of romaine lettuce, ~$5 for a huge bag of prewashed spinach - usually not both at once and they will last me at least a week for either option... although it's important to keep them dry and eat them quickly before they spoil a week is probably the maximum for me). When I do lettuce, I usually prepare two heads at once, wash them, dry them, and then put them in ziplock bags to add to my proteins and meals later on (i'll also add a table spoon of extra virgin olive oil, a few splashes of white vinegar, and salt and pepper). With spinach, I add 5 strawberries or a peach and a scoop of banana protein powder to a blender and eat them that way. 5 strawberries (25 cents) or a peach (33 cents) do not add a lot of net carbs, and they do add some good flavor.

I don't spend extra money on organic either and make sure I thoroughly wash everything. I usually try to avoid refined carbs like bread and rice when I'm trying to lose weight since they are very calorie dense and I need to eat more vegetables instead.

Exercise: You can't really out-exercise your diet, but exercise has other benefits besides just burning calories of course. I do think it's great you have a treadmill, maybe just take it a little slower on it? Maybe find some good music to listen to while you're on it, start as slow as you need to.

Anyway, I hope that gives you some ideas to get closer to your goal in this long post. I know that thinking about getting back to where I was gives me some motivation myself. If I could weigh less before, I can do it again, and you can too.