How to stop binges?

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Hey guys,

I haven't been on here in a long time (at least a year or two). For a little backstory, I have been fat pretty much my entire life, except when I went on here in 10th grade and lost about 40 pounds in 4 months, and gave myself an eating disorder. I gained back a necessary 15-20ish pounds, and then maintained a while by religiously exercising and watching what I ate. Unfortunately, the weight crept back on, and over summer vacation (end of Junior year), I binged my way back above my starting weight. I run cross country, and at 5'4 140 pounds (I lost around 6 in the past month or so through MFP), I am very uncomfortable with how I look (read: bat wings, huge hips, tummy pudge, and fat thighs) and it makes me slower, as I am around 10-15 pounds heavier than my comfortable racing weight from last year, and very self-conscious about it.

Anyways, I have never had a chance to correct my poor relationship with food, as I spiral through phases of binging and restricting, with my weight always going up. Last night, I binged again for the first time in a while. I ate and ate, some of it healthy (2 cups cooked broccoli, 3 cups raw carrots, 2 Macintosh apples) and some of it not so much (3 Chobani flips, around 1/2 a container of hummus, 3 slices of fancy whole wheat bakery bread with about 4 oz of Brie cheese and half a jar of blueberry jam). I ate until my stomach was distended and hurt, and this was all after dinner.

I do this a lot. I binge and hate myself for it, I become noticeably fatter and slower each day. I wear my fat like a suit of shame, and so I try to fix it. And then I become hungry or feel deprived, so I ruin my hard work. I'm just down right now, to be honest.

Please guys, any kind words or advice or even tough love would be helpful. I need a reality check, and maybe a hug, and most of all, I need my athletic body back. I don't understand those who have a healthy relationship with food and just eat what they please. I wish I never had this problem. :P

Thanks for listening to my rambling guys;
-Ahem gonna pretend that I'm anonymous when all of you can see my username quite clearly...
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Replies

  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    edited September 2016
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    Have you tried meal planning, and sticking to the plan?

    Are you getting treatment for your eating disorder and body image issues?
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,988 Member
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    Look, if you broke your leg, you wouldn't try to fix it yourself. Why try to fix binge and restrict cycles on your own? Please get professional help.

    Meanwhile, check out this book on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for food issues, which was available in my library system, so perhaps yours as well.

    The Beck Diet Solution: Train Your Brain to Think Like a Thin Person

    Can thinking and eating like a thin person be learned, similar to learning to drive or use a computer? Beck (Cognitive Therapy for Challenging Problems) contends so, based on decades of work with patients who have lost pounds and maintained weight through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Beck's six-week program adapts CBT, a therapeutic system developed by Beck's father, Aaron, in the 1960s, to specific challenges faced by yo-yo dieters, including negative thinking, bargaining, emotional eating, bingeing, and eating out. Beck counsels readers day-by-day, introducing new elements (creating advantage response cards, choosing a diet, enlisting a diet coach, making a weight-loss graph) progressively and offering tools to help readers stay focused (writing exercises, to-do lists, ways to counter negative thoughts). There are no eating plans, calorie counts, recipes or exercises; according to Beck, any healthy diet will work if readers learn to think differently about eating and food. Beck's book is like an extended therapy session with a diet coach. (Apr.)
  • goldthistime
    goldthistime Posts: 3,214 Member
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    usmcmp wrote: »

    Some good tips there. I especially liked the suggestion that if you have had binging tendencies you need to avoid any rapid weight loss plans. For me, even a goal of 2lbs a week was too much.

  • GottaBurnEmAll
    GottaBurnEmAll Posts: 7,722 Member
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    I agree with goldthistime. I never had a binging problem until the time I tried an eating plan that was too restrictive. Then I found myself binge eating.

    Are your restrictive phases too restrictive? Are you punishing yourself with weight loss?

    Try turning that thinking around and planning a smaller deficit. When I went back to a smaller deficit, my binge problems stopped.
  • Chloe9218160
    Chloe9218160 Posts: 61 Member
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    Have you tried meal planning, and sticking to the plan?

    Are you getting treatment for your eating disorder and body image issues?

    I had around 1.5 years of therapy and treatment, but I am far from perfect. My therapy was for when I couldn't eat enough, and had a pretty nice body, and that doesn't apply to eating too much and having a pretty crappy body.
  • singingflutelady
    singingflutelady Posts: 8,736 Member
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    Have you tried meal planning, and sticking to the plan?

    Are you getting treatment for your eating disorder and body image issues?

    I had around 1.5 years of therapy and treatment, but I am far from perfect. My therapy was for when I couldn't eat enough, and had a pretty nice body, and that doesn't apply to eating too much and having a pretty crappy body.

    But it seems your problems stem from restriction so it does apply. Your post has many, many, many red flags and you need to get back into therapy asap
  • Chloe9218160
    Chloe9218160 Posts: 61 Member
    Options
    Have you tried meal planning, and sticking to the plan?

    Are you getting treatment for your eating disorder and body image issues?

    I had around 1.5 years of therapy and treatment, but I am far from perfect. My therapy was for when I couldn't eat enough, and had a pretty nice body, and that doesn't apply to eating too much and having a pretty crappy body.

    Oops, forgot to add, I had a meal plan for when I needed to gain weight, and then for one to maintain, but I don't have one for when to lose. I will email my nutritionist about that. :)
  • Chloe9218160
    Chloe9218160 Posts: 61 Member
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    I agree with goldthistime. I never had a binging problem until the time I tried an eating plan that was too restrictive. Then I found myself binge eating.

    Are your restrictive phases too restrictive? Are you punishing yourself with weight loss?

    Try turning that thinking around and planning a smaller deficit. When I went back to a smaller deficit, my binge problems stopped.

    By restrictive, I just mean the 1,200 calorie setting on MFP. I run around 3-4 miles a day with a long run (6-7 miles) once a week, so I usually end up eating more than 1,200 total. I will use MFP and then feel deprived or something I guess, and then just go hog wild on my entire pantry.
  • singingflutelady
    singingflutelady Posts: 8,736 Member
    Options
    I agree with goldthistime. I never had a binging problem until the time I tried an eating plan that was too restrictive. Then I found myself binge eating.

    Are your restrictive phases too restrictive? Are you punishing yourself with weight loss?

    Try turning that thinking around and planning a smaller deficit. When I went back to a smaller deficit, my binge problems stopped.

    By restrictive, I just mean the 1,200 calorie setting on MFP. I run around 3-4 miles a day with a long run (6-7 miles) once a week, so I usually end up eating more than 1,200 total. I will use MFP and then feel deprived or something I guess, and then just go hog wild on my entire pantry.

    You can eat more than 1200 calories though! Also you need to quit labelling foods good and bad. Nothing wrong with bread, hummus, cheese, etc. If you restrict everything that you consider bad then that leads to binging too.
  • rosebarnalice
    rosebarnalice Posts: 3,488 Member
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    Love the Totoro, by the way.

    Two tricks I have to stop myself (and admittedly, sometimes they work better than others:
    1. WATER SLAM: When I feel a binge coming on, I drink 3 or 4o glasses of water no ice AS FAST AS I CAN. To the point that it makes me physically ill and almost nauseous. My thought is, "all right brain, you want so bad to put something in your mouth? FINE! Take at (gulp!) and THAT (gulp!) "
    2. MIRROR TALK: I go into the bathroom, look at myself in the mirror and then say OUT LOUD (thinking it doesn't seem to work as well) and talk myself down. "You don't REALLY want to do this, do you? This is not the way to deal with your emotional stress, now, is it? No of course not. Let's stand her for a minute and figure out what's going on that is making you want to eat right now. There there. See? It's going to be OK! "
  • greena
    greena Posts: 36 Member
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    I understand what you're going through - I've had a problem since I was a teen with binge eating. #1 - you are eating too few calories!!! Remember this adage: athletes train - other people diet. You are an ATHLETE - you need to eat like one. I would stay in the 1,500-1,800 range minimum. Then:
    1) Read Beck Diet Solution. Never, never eat standing up (unless it's some carrots or veggies you've set aside to nosh on and you've tracked it). Concentrate when you're eating on your food, not other things.
    2) track ALL your food. You have to get familiar with portion sizes and normal amounts.
    3) Make sure you're getting enough protein.
    4) Weight train - keep up your muscle mass.
    5) Drink a lot of water before meals.
    6) If you have a real bad time for binges (mine is always around dinner), plan to take a walk or something else during that time.
    Good luck!! Feel free to friend me if you're looking for support on here -- I am too!!
  • Danika
    Danika Posts: 11 Member
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    I support all of the posters that say you should consider re-enlisting some sort of professional guidance.

    As a case study, I started this go around at exactly your weight and height and I am losing comfortably on 1,650 calories and similar exercise levels. 1,200 would be way too low for me. Also, 5'4'' and 140 lbs is within a healthy BMI. I understand you want to be slimmer for race weight and aesthetics. I also felt chubby at this weight and height but it hardly felt 'huge' or any of the other very negative words you're using. I'd also consider how this can be addressed with a professional.

    Please seek the support you require.

    ~Danika
  • GottaBurnEmAll
    GottaBurnEmAll Posts: 7,722 Member
    edited September 2016
    Options
    I agree with goldthistime. I never had a binging problem until the time I tried an eating plan that was too restrictive. Then I found myself binge eating.

    Are your restrictive phases too restrictive? Are you punishing yourself with weight loss?

    Try turning that thinking around and planning a smaller deficit. When I went back to a smaller deficit, my binge problems stopped.

    By restrictive, I just mean the 1,200 calorie setting on MFP. I run around 3-4 miles a day with a long run (6-7 miles) once a week, so I usually end up eating more than 1,200 total. I will use MFP and then feel deprived or something I guess, and then just go hog wild on my entire pantry.

    I'm thin, short and old and I eat more than 1200 calories to lose. That *is* restrictive, and likely TOO restrictive for you! You can eat more than 1200. How old are you? I'd like to plug your stats into a calculator. I'm sure I'm older and I know I'm shorter than you and weigh less than you.
  • d4_54
    d4_54 Posts: 62 Member
    Options
    Hey guys,

    I haven't been on here in a long time (at least a year or two). For a little backstory, I have been fat pretty much my entire life, except when I went on here in 10th grade and lost about 40 pounds in 4 months, and gave myself an eating disorder. I gained back a necessary 15-20ish pounds, and then maintained a while by religiously exercising and watching what I ate. Unfortunately, the weight crept back on, and over summer vacation (end of Junior year), I binged my way back above my starting weight. I run cross country, and at 5'4 140 pounds (I lost around 6 in the past month or so through MFP), I am very uncomfortable with how I look (read: bat wings, huge hips, tummy pudge, and fat thighs) and it makes me slower, as I am around 10-15 pounds heavier than my comfortable racing weight from last year, and very self-conscious about it.

    Anyways, I have never had a chance to correct my poor relationship with food, as I spiral through phases of binging and restricting, with my weight always going up. Last night, I binged again for the first time in a while. I ate and ate, some of it healthy (2 cups cooked broccoli, 3 cups raw carrots, 2 Macintosh apples) and some of it not so much (3 Chobani flips, around 1/2 a container of hummus, 3 slices of fancy whole wheat bakery bread with about 4 oz of Brie cheese and half a jar of blueberry jam). I ate until my stomach was distended and hurt, and this was all after dinner.

    I do this a lot. I binge and hate myself for it, I become noticeably fatter and slower each day. I wear my fat like a suit of shame, and so I try to fix it. And then I become hungry or feel deprived, so I ruin my hard work. I'm just down right now, to be honest.

    Please guys, any kind words or advice or even tough love would be helpful. I need a reality check, and maybe a hug, and most of all, I need my athletic body back. I don't understand those who have a healthy relationship with food and just eat what they please. I wish I never had this problem. :P

    Thanks for listening to my rambling guys;
    -Ahem gonna pretend that I'm anonymous when all of you can see my username quite clearly...

    I used to be where you are and I am not anymore. You can be here to.

    First I had to break the binge diet cycle. I did this by eating what I wanted without restriction or illumination. I made sure I was not walking around tired or hungry as this leads to binging. When you decide you will eat and enjoy every meal then you can look forward to these meals and this will help with binges. Important that you are mentally and physically satisfied every meal. Forget about your weight at this point. You will probably lose weight at this point anyway. You may want to binge but you will know it's not because you are hungry.

    Next
    Then I changed my mindset. Get work on learning how to totally accept yourself. You are enough now!

    Next
    Now that you are starting to realise you are enough and hopefully dealing with the reasons you are binging (if you still are but I bet you are not at this point) then you can start to make better choices with food. (Get help with this)

    Do not exercise too much
    Do not focus too much on the food
    Try and be happy doing things you like

    Your body will love this and you will balance out to a normal weight.

    I tell you this works. I know the first stage is hard. I hope you have the strength to start this.
  • d4_54
    d4_54 Posts: 62 Member
    Options
    Elimination not illumination
  • d4_54
    d4_54 Posts: 62 Member
    Options
    greena wrote: »
    I understand what you're going through - I've had a problem since I was a teen with binge eating. #1 - you are eating too few calories!!! Remember this adage: athletes train - other people diet. You are an ATHLETE - you need to eat like one. I would stay in the 1,500-1,800 range minimum. Then:
    1) Read Beck Diet Solution. Never, never eat standing up (unless it's some carrots or veggies you've set aside to nosh on and you've tracked it). Concentrate when you're eating on your food, not other things.
    2) track ALL your food. You have to get familiar with portion sizes and normal amounts.
    3) Make sure you're getting enough protein.
    4) Weight train - keep up your muscle mass.
    5) Drink a lot of water before meals.
    6) If you have a real bad time for binges (mine is always around dinner), plan to take a walk or something else during that time.
    Good luck!! Feel free to friend me if you're looking for support on here -- I am too!!

    You are advising her how to avoid binging as opposed to addressing why she feels like binging. What if she can't take a walk around that time or do something else?Are you saying it is ok for Chloe to feel like binging as long as she is able to control it?