What is going on?

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  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
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    I'm considering stepping on the scale at the moment. If weight has been stable for the past two weeks it might make me feel better and less out of control. If it's really high...I might lose my cool. I don't know if it's worth it.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,110 Member
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    Step on the scale. Reality trumps fear.
  • vingogly
    vingogly Posts: 1,785 Member
    edited September 2016
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    arditarose wrote: »
    ... I feel completely out of control. I'm not really stepping on the scale because I'm afraid, but looking in the mirror I can see myself gaining. ... I feel like I NEED to eat over my calories. And even if I keep a tiny deficit, I overeat on the weekends. ... I'm going through a really stressful time in my life. I mean...really stressful. So it might be wise to maintain. But I'm having trouble even doing that. It's like every time I get a little craving I just stop caring and walk to the refrigerator. ... It's even gotten to the point where I'll just stop logging mid day and saw screw it. I've never been like that before.
    I started a job at a failing charter school in the inner city. I work 6:30 am to 5 pm in a school where safety is a concern. I'm starting to feel the brunt of a breakup that was 5 months ago (super delayed response). I feel alone and scared. I'm worried I'll never have a family or kids. I miss my family.

    "People are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take of them." -- Epictetus

    It's often our thoughts that make us unwell; when we're stressed old scripts rear their ugly heads again (see the highlighted phrases above). It sounds like you're dealing with a lot more than the difficulties you're having with weight. Find yourself a good cognitive therapist who can help you with your depression and sense of helplessness.

    For the difficulties you're having staying on track with your weight loss, I suggest looking at the Beck Diet Solution; it's a cognitive program, not a "diet plan". You might find that getting control of that part of your life helps you with the root issues you're having.

    http://www.beckdietsolution.com
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
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    vingogly wrote: »
    arditarose wrote: »
    ... I feel completely out of control. I'm not really stepping on the scale because I'm afraid, but looking in the mirror I can see myself gaining. ... I feel like I NEED to eat over my calories. And even if I keep a tiny deficit, I overeat on the weekends. ... I'm going through a really stressful time in my life. I mean...really stressful. So it might be wise to maintain. But I'm having trouble even doing that. It's like every time I get a little craving I just stop caring and walk to the refrigerator. ... It's even gotten to the point where I'll just stop logging mid day and saw screw it. I've never been like that before.
    I started a job at a failing charter school in the inner city. I work 6:30 am to 5 pm in a school where safety is a concern. I'm starting to feel the brunt of a breakup that was 5 months ago (super delayed response). I feel alone and scared. I'm worried I'll never have a family or kids. I miss my family.

    "People are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take of them." -- Epictetus

    It's often our thoughts that make us unwell; when we're stressed old scripts rear their ugly heads again (see the highlighted phrases above). It sounds like you're dealing with a lot more than the difficulties you're having with weight. Find yourself a good cognitive therapist who can help you with your depression and sense of helplessness.

    For the difficulties you're having staying on track with your weight loss, I suggest looking at the Beck Diet Solution; it's a cognitive program, not a "diet plan". You might find that getting control of that part of your life helps you with the root issues you're having.

    http://www.beckdietsolution.com

    I've considered therapy for a second. But then I thought...of course I don't feel well. Things suck at the moment. I first have to try to make myself feel better before I go out paying for someone to help me fix it. No one can make my job better but me either.
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
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    I stepped on the scale. 142.2. Relatively stable since the beginning of September but I weighed between 136-139 all of August, so I'm definitely gaining.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,110 Member
    edited September 2016
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    vingogly wrote: »
    arditarose wrote: »
    ... I feel completely out of control. I'm not really stepping on the scale because I'm afraid, but looking in the mirror I can see myself gaining. ... I feel like I NEED to eat over my calories. And even if I keep a tiny deficit, I overeat on the weekends. ... I'm going through a really stressful time in my life. I mean...really stressful. So it might be wise to maintain. But I'm having trouble even doing that. It's like every time I get a little craving I just stop caring and walk to the refrigerator. ... It's even gotten to the point where I'll just stop logging mid day and saw screw it. I've never been like that before.
    I started a job at a failing charter school in the inner city. I work 6:30 am to 5 pm in a school where safety is a concern. I'm starting to feel the brunt of a breakup that was 5 months ago (super delayed response). I feel alone and scared. I'm worried I'll never have a family or kids. I miss my family.

    "People are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take of them." -- Epictetus

    It's often our thoughts that make us unwell; when we're stressed old scripts rear their ugly heads again (see the highlighted phrases above). It sounds like you're dealing with a lot more than the difficulties you're having with weight. Find yourself a good cognitive therapist who can help you with your depression and sense of helplessness.

    For the difficulties you're having staying on track with your weight loss, I suggest looking at the Beck Diet Solution; it's a cognitive program, not a "diet plan". You might find that getting control of that part of your life helps you with the root issues you're having.

    http://www.beckdietsolution.com

    I agree with vingogly. It's all in the eight inches between your ears. Future tripping (What if???) fear, resentments, unresolved anger, etc. If you can get hold of your thoughts all will make sense

    Can you sit down right now and write out a gratitude list? Surely you have many blessings in your life and if you purposefully begin to focus on them things will feel better.
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
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    cmriverside wrote: »
    vingogly wrote: »
    arditarose wrote: »
    ... I feel completely out of control. I'm not really stepping on the scale because I'm afraid, but looking in the mirror I can see myself gaining. ... I feel like I NEED to eat over my calories. And even if I keep a tiny deficit, I overeat on the weekends. ... I'm going through a really stressful time in my life. I mean...really stressful. So it might be wise to maintain. But I'm having trouble even doing that. It's like every time I get a little craving I just stop caring and walk to the refrigerator. ... It's even gotten to the point where I'll just stop logging mid day and saw screw it. I've never been like that before.
    I started a job at a failing charter school in the inner city. I work 6:30 am to 5 pm in a school where safety is a concern. I'm starting to feel the brunt of a breakup that was 5 months ago (super delayed response). I feel alone and scared. I'm worried I'll never have a family or kids. I miss my family.

    "People are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take of them." -- Epictetus

    It's often our thoughts that make us unwell; when we're stressed old scripts rear their ugly heads again (see the highlighted phrases above). It sounds like you're dealing with a lot more than the difficulties you're having with weight. Find yourself a good cognitive therapist who can help you with your depression and sense of helplessness.

    For the difficulties you're having staying on track with your weight loss, I suggest looking at the Beck Diet Solution; it's a cognitive program, not a "diet plan". You might find that getting control of that part of your life helps you with the root issues you're having.

    http://www.beckdietsolution.com

    I agree with vingogly. It's all in the eight inches between your ears. Future tripping (What if???) fear, resentments, unresolved anger, etc. If you can get hold of your thoughts all will make sense

    Can you sit down right now and write out a gratitude list? Surely you have many blessings in your life and if you purposefully begin to focus on them things will feel better.

    I know. And as soon as I wrote this post I realized I have so much to be grateful for. Writing it down would help I'm sure.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    arditarose wrote: »
    jemhh wrote: »
    Hey there. I'm a big fan of quitting when the quit improves your life. There's a Freakonomics podcast about quitting that may help you feel a bit better about it:

    http://freakonomics.com/podcast/new-freakonomics-radio-podcast-the-upside-of-quitting/

    I don't have great advice for diet and motivation because I'm going through a similar rough patch. 2016 has been a very difficult year for me work-wise and I'm finding that when one area of my life seems out of control, I try to control diet even more. Rather than helping, it makes things worse. Stress does crazy stuff to our bodies and minds. I've had to step back on attempted fat loss in order to fix the resulting health issues. So, no great advice here but I can commiserate and tell you that you are not alone.

    Thank you. And thank you for the podcast. Maybe I can give it a listen tonight.

    Are you saying that trying to control your diet even more during times of stress DOESN'T help you?

    Yes, it hasn't helped me this year. It has just made me more stressed, retain more water, look puffier, see less scale movement, repeat cycle. Plus add in a missing period, leading to fears of bone density loss and horrible DEXA scan. The tighter I've tried to control my diet, the worse it has become. I ate at maintenance almost all of 2015 and felt (physically/mentally) and looked better than I do now after months and months of eating in a deficit.
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
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    jemhh wrote: »
    arditarose wrote: »
    jemhh wrote: »
    Hey there. I'm a big fan of quitting when the quit improves your life. There's a Freakonomics podcast about quitting that may help you feel a bit better about it:

    http://freakonomics.com/podcast/new-freakonomics-radio-podcast-the-upside-of-quitting/

    I don't have great advice for diet and motivation because I'm going through a similar rough patch. 2016 has been a very difficult year for me work-wise and I'm finding that when one area of my life seems out of control, I try to control diet even more. Rather than helping, it makes things worse. Stress does crazy stuff to our bodies and minds. I've had to step back on attempted fat loss in order to fix the resulting health issues. So, no great advice here but I can commiserate and tell you that you are not alone.

    Thank you. And thank you for the podcast. Maybe I can give it a listen tonight.

    Are you saying that trying to control your diet even more during times of stress DOESN'T help you?

    Yes, it hasn't helped me this year. It has just made me more stressed, retain more water, look puffier, see less scale movement, repeat cycle. Plus add in a missing period, leading to fears of bone density loss and horrible DEXA scan. The tighter I've tried to control my diet, the worse it has become. I ate at maintenance almost all of 2015 and felt (physically/mentally) and looked better than I do now after months and months of eating in a deficit.

    Thank you for sharing this. I feel the same way you are describing when I try to eat in a deficit. I have been skipping periods too. Maybe I would feel better if I just settled on maintenance as a goal.
  • Stingersquad1981
    Stingersquad1981 Posts: 21 Member
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    Ok, let's start with the reasons:

    1- The security concern in the school and job- There had to be a reason why you got a job at that school, if money wasn't involved, dig back inside of you and relight that lamp. 0630 to 1700 is not bad, I have somewhat the same hours and what I do is I get up at 0300 to PT. Try Muay Thai and use that as an excuse to learn self defense in lieu of your security.

    2- Worried about a break up/kids and family? Is that you on that picture on your profile? If that is you don't worry you won't have a problem finding a substitute

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