Divorced Hangout

245

Replies

  • amcalmond768
    amcalmond768 Posts: 289 Member
    Domino_75 wrote: »
    I'll go ahead and throw myself into this. I'm really hoping to be able to get divorced soon. After 26 years it's time to call it quits. My kids deserve better.

    Amen! Sometimes staying for them is the worst thing!
  • Habiteer
    Habiteer Posts: 190 Member
    As a friend once said, "at least you got your starter marriage out of the way."

    Married my first girlfriend. Found out she started a 4 month affair shortly after we were married. Completely blindsided. That's life, what can you do but pick yourself back up from there.
  • amcalmond768
    amcalmond768 Posts: 289 Member
    Drawoc wrote: »
    As a friend once said, "at least you got your starter marriage out of the way."

    Married my first girlfriend. Found out she started a 4 month affair shortly after we were married. Completely blindsided. That's life, what can you do but pick yourself back up from there.

    Wow that's terrible! I like your positive attitude! I need to find some of that!
  • Habiteer
    Habiteer Posts: 190 Member
    amcalmond768 wrote: »
    Drawoc wrote: »
    As a friend once said, "at least you got your starter marriage out of the way."

    Married my first girlfriend. Found out she started a 4 month affair shortly after we were married. Completely blindsided. That's life, what can you do but pick yourself back up from there.

    Wow that's terrible! I like your positive attitude! I need to find some of that!

    Thanks :)

    I just went back and read the thread again. Stay strong amcalmond, I'm rooting for ya! Whatever happens, never let someone else let you down. You're in control of your life, that's the only one you have, not anyone else - not even the people closest to you.

    Same goes for all you other survivors that are going through tough times, be strong.
  • amcalmond768
    amcalmond768 Posts: 289 Member
    maeld51 wrote: »
    amcalmond768 wrote: »
    Been married 7 years ... It's been spiraling out of control for a while but the last couple of months have been bad. Last week I found out he has been lying to me about some serious issues. He Walked out on me 2 weeks ago.

    I'm so sorry.
    Regardless of what goes bad in a marriage it is always a terribly painful thing to go through.
    Wishing the best for you. :)

    Thanks so much. I think I am more angry then hurt!
  • amcalmond768
    amcalmond768 Posts: 289 Member
    Drawoc wrote: »
    amcalmond768 wrote: »
    Drawoc wrote: »
    As a friend once said, "at least you got your starter marriage out of the way."

    Married my first girlfriend. Found out she started a 4 month affair shortly after we were married. Completely blindsided. That's life, what can you do but pick yourself back up from there.

    Wow that's terrible! I like your positive attitude! I need to find some of that!

    Thanks :)

    I just went back and read the thread again. Stay strong amcalmond, I'm rooting for ya! Whatever happens, never let someone else let you down. You're in control of your life, that's the only one you have, not anyone else - not even the people closest to you.

    Same goes for all you other survivors that are going through tough times, be strong.

    Yeah there is no giving in this time. Somethings you just can't recover from. This will make me much stronger in the end!
  • klkarlen
    klkarlen Posts: 4,366 Member
    I'm in. First time I was very young (21) and obviously stupid, married for 2 years to a control freak. Counseling made it clear to cut and run.

    Second was the rebound guy from the first round, married him after a long test drive, should have walked out the door instead of down the aisle because he had substance abuse and honesty issues, so I tell folks I was just stupid that time (since 30 was no longer young)

    Third time I picked wisely, but sadly he turned out to be the stupid one. After a six year roller coaster dating ride, I married him and we were married for 18 years. . . and then he had a mid life crisis affair and left me and his daughter for the girlfriend.

    So I've been happily single for 4 years, and hang out in the Singles Hangout thread.

    To all of you going through this for whatever number of times, hang in there, it does get better with time.
  • Habiteer
    Habiteer Posts: 190 Member
    littlemissbgiff wrote: »
    @Drawoc I'm a firm believer in kids would rather be from a broken home than in one. Finally pulled the trigger on my divorce close to 5 years now. It was hard at first but all 3 of my kids are thriving now. Worth it!

    Definitely, I agree, glad to hear things are going well! :) Sounds like it was a hard choice, but the correct one.

    Congrats on the weight loss as well! Not everyone can do that. That is awesome :smiley:
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  • Jimb376mfp
    Jimb376mfp Posts: 6,236 Member
    Married lurker here. Married now 47 years BUT I did go to see a divorce lawyer once on my own about 16 years ago. He explained all the financial aspects and I decided the "other woman" I was seeing wan't worth it LoL.

    A friend who had been divorced twice reassured me I would be back on my feet financially in two or three years. Decided to stay with the devil I knew.

    No regrets (but the affair sex was great)
  • Muppyooh
    Muppyooh Posts: 290 Member
    Divorced 11 years ago. I got married young. It was a bad idea. My BF and I recently broke up. A little over a month ago. It's really difficult to move on.
  • TheProudDadLife
    TheProudDadLife Posts: 654 Member
    Well said
  • amcalmond768
    amcalmond768 Posts: 289 Member
    Muppyooh wrote: »
    Divorced 11 years ago. I got married young. It was a bad idea. My BF and I recently broke up. A little over a month ago. It's really difficult to move on.

    It really is.. Even when you know it's the best decision it still sucks!
  • Habiteer
    Habiteer Posts: 190 Member
    Muppyooh wrote: »
    Divorced 11 years ago. I got married young. It was a bad idea. My BF and I recently broke up. A little over a month ago. It's really difficult to move on.

    Get well Muppy, difficult yes, but you're the boss of your life and you can do it
  • Muppyooh
    Muppyooh Posts: 290 Member
    Drawoc wrote: »
    Muppyooh wrote: »
    Divorced 11 years ago. I got married young. It was a bad idea. My BF and I recently broke up. A little over a month ago. It's really difficult to move on.

    Get well Muppy, difficult yes, but you're the boss of your life and you can do it


    Thank you. I keep plugging away.
  • Geeky_and_Cheeky
    Geeky_and_Cheeky Posts: 493 Member
    Divorce is very difficult and soul crushing. As well as the new loves and breakups that come after. But, personally, I'm the happiest I've ever been!

    Name 1 thing that's better now that you're divorced?

    Mine is I can cook whatever I want for my kids and I.
  • ArmyMedic2016
    ArmyMedic2016 Posts: 180 Member
    Been separated for a year, never been so lonely and had to fight to see my kids!!!
  • klkarlen
    klkarlen Posts: 4,366 Member
    Geeky_and_Cheeky wrote: »

    Name 1 thing that's better now that you're divorced?

    No more dirty looks and silent treatments. For "crimes" I didn't even commit. It was not my fault that he was so freaking miserable and would not do anything about it.
  • maeld51
    maeld51 Posts: 3,415 Member
    Geeky_and_Cheeky wrote: »
    Divorce is very difficult and soul crushing. As well as the new loves and breakups that come after. But, personally, I'm the happiest I've ever been!

    Name 1 thing that's better now that you're divorced?

    Mine is I can cook whatever I want for my kids and I.

    There are lots of things,
    I enjoy choosing for myself,
    it's nice to hear my own opinion once in a while instead of just his.
    It's all whatever I want now.
    That sounds super but after 35yrs,
    It's difficult sometimes.
    For me, being over 50 and divorced is no fun at all.

    You go girl and have as much fun as you possibly can.
  • Habiteer
    Habiteer Posts: 190 Member
    ArmyMedic2016 wrote: »
    Been separated for a year, never been so lonely and had to fight to see my kids!!!

    Hang in there, that blows
  • klkarlen
    klkarlen Posts: 4,366 Member
    ArmyMedic2016 wrote: »
    Been separated for a year, never been so lonely and had to fight to see my kids!!!

    Sorry to hear this. I was more lonely when I was married than I am now.
  • beachgal0626
    beachgal0626 Posts: 1,912 Member
    ArmyMedic2016 wrote: »
    Been separated for a year, never been so lonely and had to fight to see my kids!!!

    So sorry you're lonely -- I hope for better days for you (it does get better).
  • elianecnas
    elianecnas Posts: 41 Member
    KevinPsalm23v4 wrote: »
    Going through one, survived one (or two or three) or even thinking about one.

    I am going through one...and believing I am gonna be okay...that was my choice and I am much better off already!
  • Pterod
    Pterod Posts: 131 Member
    I'm utterly heartbroken, separated a week.
  • tanyabrillhart9
    tanyabrillhart9 Posts: 10 Member
    Just went through my second one. Married 23 years. 10 years longer than I should have.
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    edited September 2016
    maeld51 wrote: »
    Geeky_and_Cheeky wrote: »
    Divorce is very difficult and soul crushing. As well as the new loves and breakups that come after. But, personally, I'm the happiest I've ever been!

    Name 1 thing that's better now that you're divorced?

    Mine is I can cook whatever I want for my kids and I.

    There are lots of things,
    I enjoy choosing for myself,
    it's nice to hear my own opinion once in a while instead of just his.
    It's all whatever I want now.
    That sounds super but after 35yrs,
    It's difficult sometimes.
    For me, being over 50 and divorced is no fun at all.

    You go girl and have as much fun as you possibly can.

    You got married when you were 15?

    Ooops didn't read that correctly. I just noticed you said "over 50" Never mind.
  • maeld51
    maeld51 Posts: 3,415 Member
    @J_Surita3
    We married at 19, I'm 55.
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    maeld51 wrote: »
    @J_Surita3
    We married at 19, I'm 55.

    I got married young as well. I was barely 21. Would have celebrated 27 years next month, but I'm getting divorced so I'll celebrate that instead.
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