Divorced Hangout

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12467

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  • kd_mazur
    kd_mazur Posts: 569 Member
    edited September 2016
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    I was married at 20 yrs old and it lasted 10 years before I was traded in for a newer model...it didn't seem so at the time, but now I see it was the nicest thing he ever did for me:)
  • JasonRainboze
    JasonRainboze Posts: 168 Member
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    I'm divorced....
  • maeld51
    maeld51 Posts: 3,415 Member
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    J_Surita3 wrote: »
    maeld51 wrote: »
    @J_Surita3
    We married at 19, I'm 55.

    I got married young as well. I was barely 21. Would have celebrated 27 years next month, but I'm getting divorced so I'll celebrate that instead.

    We signed our divorce papers (1) day before our 35th anniversary,
    he needed one last jab. Ugh!
  • brianbgboy
    brianbgboy Posts: 393 Member
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    going through one right now. was married for 20 years and have 1 son that just turned 18. taking some getting used to but better everyday...
  • PowerMan40
    PowerMan40 Posts: 766 Member
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    First one was 10 years, this one we have been separated 3 weeks, after 6 years together... It sucks, it hurts, the kids are confused, Im trying to cope, I know I should just finish it and end it, but its hard to just let go. I have a big heart, and cant stand to see her upset, but we are just not compatible. We have tried for 6 years to make it work, we just cant. I have no friends, all my family live in another state. Its just me and the kids from the first wife.
  • amcalmond768
    amcalmond768 Posts: 289 Member
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    PowerMan40 wrote: »
    First one was 10 years, this one we have been separated 3 weeks, after 6 years together... It sucks, it hurts, the kids are confused, Im trying to cope, I know I should just finish it and end it, but its hard to just let go. I have a big heart, and cant stand to see her upset, but we are just not compatible. We have tried for 6 years to make it work, we just cant. I have no friends, all my family live in another state. Its just me and the kids from the first wife.

    I feel your pain.. We have been separate almost a month! It's hard to let go .. Even when it's the right thing to do!
  • PowerMan40
    PowerMan40 Posts: 766 Member
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    amcalmond768 wrote: »
    PowerMan40 wrote: »
    First one was 10 years, this one we have been separated 3 weeks, after 6 years together... It sucks, it hurts, the kids are confused, Im trying to cope, I know I should just finish it and end it, but its hard to just let go. I have a big heart, and cant stand to see her upset, but we are just not compatible. We have tried for 6 years to make it work, we just cant. I have no friends, all my family live in another state. Its just me and the kids from the first wife.

    I feel your pain.. We have been separate almost a month! It's hard to let go .. Even when it's the right thing to do!

    Yea but how do you know its the right thing to do... I guess when you cant stand to be in the same room together, its done. Then there are times its nice and we get a long, but the times we do get a long are like 10% of the time and the times we dont are 90% of the time.
  • maeld51
    maeld51 Posts: 3,415 Member
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    PowerMan40 wrote: »
    First one was 10 years, this one we have been separated 3 weeks, after 6 years together... It sucks, it hurts, the kids are confused, Im trying to cope, I know I should just finish it and end it, but its hard to just let go. I have a big heart, and cant stand to see her upset, but we are just not compatible. We have tried for 6 years to make it work, we just cant. I have no friends, all my family live in another state. Its just me and the kids from the first wife.

    My Ex and I were separated 4yrs.
    4 yrs of living in limbo, it does suck!
    Finally had to let it go.
  • amcalmond768
    amcalmond768 Posts: 289 Member
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    PowerMan40 wrote: »
    amcalmond768 wrote: »
    PowerMan40 wrote: »
    First one was 10 years, this one we have been separated 3 weeks, after 6 years together... It sucks, it hurts, the kids are confused, Im trying to cope, I know I should just finish it and end it, but its hard to just let go. I have a big heart, and cant stand to see her upset, but we are just not compatible. We have tried for 6 years to make it work, we just cant. I have no friends, all my family live in another state. Its just me and the kids from the first wife.

    I feel your pain.. We have been separate almost a month! It's hard to let go .. Even when it's the right thing to do!

    Yea but how do you know its the right thing to do... I guess when you cant stand to be in the same room together, its done. Then there are times its nice and we get a long, but the times we do get a long are like 10% of the time and the times we dont are 90% of the time.

    I think you just really have to trust yourself .. You can't sacrifice yourself and your life for 10%.. But I am struggling with the same things
  • klkarlen
    klkarlen Posts: 4,366 Member
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    maeld51 wrote: »
    J_Surita3 wrote: »
    maeld51 wrote: »
    @J_Surita3
    We married at 19, I'm 55.

    I got married young as well. I was barely 21. Would have celebrated 27 years next month, but I'm getting divorced so I'll celebrate that instead.

    We signed our divorce papers (1) day before our 35th anniversary,
    he needed one last jab. Ugh!

    Mine had the audacity to come into my office and ask if I wanted to sign the papers the following Monday - I looked at the calendar and said "Really, you want me to sign the papers on what would have been our18th wedding anniversary?!?!?! Get the "F--" out of my office!" I've never seen a hastier retreat than that one.
  • Muppyooh
    Muppyooh Posts: 290 Member
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    littlemissbgiff wrote: »
    Was married for 14 years, together for 18. He was an alcoholic for about 12 of those years. I stayed because we had 3 kids, I had no work skills, I thought this was my lot in life. At year 10 I gave him an ultimatum. Alcohol or your family. He chose his family much to my pleasure. But only to find that I hated him sober and he hated me for forcing sobriety on him. He was clean for about 3 months. At 10 years I knew it was over. But stuck it out "for the kids". We separated, we got back together, we moved in an attempt for a fresh start. Didn't work. We divorced at 14 years. It was very difficult on all of us. 5 years later even my kids tell me they are glad we divorced. They see him about once a month as he moved out of state and they are old enough now to take him for what he is, a drunk. I never realized how strong I was until the divorce. I never knew that I was capable of so much. We are happy now. We are actually thriving. It DOES get better. Promise!

    I guess I saved myself from this. This would probably be my life if my ex BF and I stayed together. He drinks too much. He drinks Less than he used to but still too much. I'm sure it will get worse over time. I keep telling myself that when I miss him.
  • tanyabrillhart9
    tanyabrillhart9 Posts: 10 Member
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    Geeky_and_Cheeky wrote: »
    Name 1 thing that's better now that you're divorced?

    Well, he is a pathological liar, so I don't have to deal with that. He embezzled $19,000 from his mother, so I don't have to deal with the law suit from his family or the lawyer bills...so that's nice.

    I miss intimacy...not just the physical, but emotional...le sigh...

  • amcalmond768
    amcalmond768 Posts: 289 Member
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    tanyabrillhart9 wrote: »
    Geeky_and_Cheeky wrote: »
    Name 1 thing that's better now that you're divorced?

    Well, he is a pathological liar, so I don't have to deal with that. He embezzled $19,000 from his mother, so I don't have to deal with the law suit from his family or the lawyer bills...so that's nice.

    I miss intimacy...not just the physical, but emotional...le sigh...

    I am going through this with my husband.. He is a habitual liar. He will never change and can't own up to what he has down wrong!
  • PowerMan40
    PowerMan40 Posts: 766 Member
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    tanyabrillhart9 wrote: »
    Geeky_and_Cheeky wrote: »
    Name 1 thing that's better now that you're divorced?

    Well, he is a pathological liar, so I don't have to deal with that. He embezzled $19,000 from his mother, so I don't have to deal with the law suit from his family or the lawyer bills...so that's nice.

    I miss intimacy...not just the physical, but emotional...le sigh...

    Can I play along tooo...

    The house is quite, and there is no tension in the air.
    The kids are happy, and laugh and have a good time like they should.
    I have been able to de-clutter the house, and it stays cleaner,
    I make the dinners, so they are healthy whole foods
    I am not constantly stressed out at home.
    I feel like I can actually relax, in my home.
    I have more time to do the things I want to do.

    Lol should I keep going..
  • htimpaired
    htimpaired Posts: 1,404 Member
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    Name what's better now that I'm divorced?
    Well, it's not final yet, but we're finishing I believe with the mediator next week, and then on to a legal separation with divorce to be final on new years. I can only imagine what it's going to be like, living on my own for the first time EVER. (we married young, and I had roomates before). I'm excited to see what that's like.
  • Pterod
    Pterod Posts: 131 Member
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    I don't have a thing that's better yet as it's been less than two weeks and so far everything hurts but I'm encouraged that there may be some positives in the future.
  • Habiteer
    Habiteer Posts: 190 Member
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    htimpaired wrote: »
    Name what's better now that I'm divorced?

    No more arguing. No more fighting. No more negativity. Freedom.

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