What are friends for?

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BigandFurious
BigandFurious Posts: 33 Member
edited September 2016 in Motivation and Support
I am quieter here lately, don't really know what to say. Lots' of news feeds from my friends are about wrong food choices. There is talk about burritos, donuts, and French fries and I don't know how to react. Am I supposed to "like" it when someone eats unhealthy? Am I suppose to laugh about it? Or should I say what I think? (Look at my picture, do you want to end up like me?)

I am a newbie here; I try to come to terms with my new lifestyle. I try to adjust our life to my need to lose weight, without starving ourselves and with an interesting meal plan.

There is lots to learn, lots to digest. Finding my way -a way that works for me- seems to be the key.

I have a hard time with the news feed. I expected "friends" to be tougher. "Hey, kick me in my behind when I think about French Fries and chocolate cake, don't applaud me for it." Is my expectation so off?

I find it very confusing and very irritating. In one or two years from now, I won't mind, because then I will have reached my goal weight, then I will have adapted to a balanced and healthy lifestyle, now, at the beginning of my journey, it's torture to read about all the things I used to eat.

I am here since eight days, have lost 7 lbs so far (probably the guilt that fell off my shoulders). Am I overly sensitive because I have 10 x 10 lbs to lose? Am I too harsh because I am really determined?

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Replies

  • ValerieMartini2Olives
    ValerieMartini2Olives Posts: 3,024 Member
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    You can eat all of those things and fit them in your goals if you really want to.
  • amgreenwell
    amgreenwell Posts: 1,268 Member
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    You can delete those friends that don't seem to be motivating and helpful. You can also search and add people who do seem to fit.
    Add me! we are all on this journey together
  • BigandFurious
    BigandFurious Posts: 33 Member
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    Of course, I can eat all these things -but not on a daily base. There will be days when I will be over my calorie intake because a cookie or ten will have found it's way into my tummy, but when I do I won't brag about it in my news feed.
  • NewMeSM75
    NewMeSM75 Posts: 971 Member
    edited September 2016
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    Some people aren't looking for someone to critique their diaries. It's all in what kind of friends you are looking for. Maybe it might be time to clean up your friend's list.
  • Sara1791
    Sara1791 Posts: 760 Member
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    BigandFurious wrote: »

    Of course, I can eat all these things -but not on a daily base. There will be days when I will be over my calorie intake because a cookie or ten will have found it's way into my tummy, but when I do I won't brag about it in my news feed.

    It's not bragging, it's being honest. And if you can't fit a cookie into your plan without going over then either your plan is too restrictive or that is a big *kitten* cookie. Some days will include treats that fit your calories, some days will include treats that put you over, and some days won't include any treats - it's all true. Birthdays and barbecues and holidays happen. Learn to make them work.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,136 Member
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    I suggest finding like-minded friends who don't "brag" about eating "bad" "unhealthful" foods in their newsfeed. There are people on here who prefer "a kick in the *kitten*" for eating "bad" foods.
  • BigandFurious
    BigandFurious Posts: 33 Member
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    zyxst wrote: »
    I suggest finding like-minded friends who don't "brag" about eating "bad" "unhealthful" foods in their newsfeed. There are people on here who prefer "a kick in the *kitten*" for eating "bad" foods.

    I seem to be the kick-in-the-*kitten* friend. Thanks :)
  • Seffell
    Seffell Posts: 2,222 Member
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    Yeah it's not about whether your friends are right or wrong. It's about whether they're the right friends for you. Maybe find friends with similar ideals to yours.
  • Chef_Barbell
    Chef_Barbell Posts: 6,644 Member
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    Not a nice friend to talk about them on the forums. They have their journey and you have yours. You can eat those types of foods even every day and still be under goal.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,867 Member
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    There are a lot of people who simply keep within their calorie targets and don't pay much attention and don't really care about eating well, etc...they're still going to lose weight...weight loss isn't about eating a particular food or not eating a particular food, it's about consuming energy (calories) within the limits of what your body is utilizing.

    I don't particularly prescribe to the eat whatever all of the time philosophy, but a lot of people do...people have all kinds of ways of going about things...maybe find more like minded friends.
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,252 Member
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    You still have a short term mindset on this. Think marathon over sprint. You are just becoming aware of the behaviors that caused you to become overweight and building new behaviors to correct this. I would avoid implementing changes that you don't see yourself maintaining years from now. This leads to the yo-yo effect as eventually you are going to have a burrito, donut, or french fries. This is why elimination diets ultimately fail.

    As many others have stated. If it fits in your caloric intake goals - go for it, but budget accordingly.
  • bethannien
    bethannien Posts: 556 Member
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    Yeah I think you just need friends who don't make you uncomfortable. If it bothers you, delete and move on. Personally, I can't stay friends with people who regularly eat below 1200 and beat themselves up for going over once in a while. I worry about them but I don't know any of them IRL so it seems innaporopriate for me to say "whoa why so little?!"
  • BigandFurious
    BigandFurious Posts: 33 Member
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    Got it...take it slow, eat what you want and stay in your daily goal while eating what I want...when I want it. No more fruits and vegetables, no more starving. Chocolate cake and french fries on a regular basis not to exceed 1500 calories (until later on when I will be able to exercise more, then I need to eat all my allowed calories and I will lose weight in my sleep.) Also, be a good friend, don't say what you think just nod politely.

    That of course, was ironic.

    I think dieting -for me- as to come in different phases (with doctors approval).

    Now I am in the beginner phase, trying to break bad habits. Trying to find the right foods that fill me up and are healthy. I am experimenting with meals, try new things. No fast food and no sugar in this phase until I am no longer pre-diabetic.

    Then, maybe in 6 months -after a decent weight loss, maybe down to 230 lbs- I should be able to exercise more and will be able to add more "old" food back into my diet.

    Then, maybe in 1 year, when I will be closer to my goal, then it will be about maintaining and staying healthy.

    Is what I am thinking really so wrong?

    I do agree with some of you, it's about finding the right friends and not just a number of friends. That makes so much sense. Maybe later on I will be able to focus on the social aspect here, right now I am just reading and learning.


  • bethannien
    bethannien Posts: 556 Member
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    I don't think there is anything wrong with your plan...for you. It's not going to work for everyone. If your friends on here are doing things that bother you, you're welcome to say you don't approve. But their goals don't have to align directly with yours to be valid.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,121 Member
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    You were complaining about what other people talked about (food) on a weightloss (food) website with multiple subforums about nutrition and recipes (food).

    Food is the bottom line on this site. People will talk about food, not only on your newsfeed, but in about half the forum threads, too.

    What you're experiencing is being triggered toward your preferred method of thinking and you will have to learn to accept that type of discussion both here and in real life without getting upset about it, that's all. I mean, I get it. I used to get p!ssy and triggered and log off angry because, "Why don't people see that talking about food makes me want food!?!?!?!?!?!!!!11eleven?!!!"

    It was all in how I was viewing it...no one does anything to get to me. They're just going about their day and I'm getting all flustered.

    I'm only hurting myself.
  • jesssiebee1983
    jesssiebee1983 Posts: 27 Member
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    I dunno. I'd probably just live and let live. You are *literally* on a forum where food is *literally* the point of the forum! I eat chocolate sometimes and I feel proud that I've managed to a) plan it into my daily calorie allowance and b) am able to stop at a small portion that can fit into my calorie allowance. You sound kind of mean, to be honest. So do you really feel like this about others or are you looking for an excuse to delete your account because MFP is full of arses?
  • FitTonedTee
    FitTonedTee Posts: 7 Member
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    I get it. I too don't like all the junk food talk. I'm here to be healthier and eliminate junk food/poison/sugar from my life and to be more active. I just find friends on here with the common goal. Not ones that can see how much crap they can eat that still fits in their plan while still being muscular and fit. Usually, you can't do both--just my opinion.

    Maybe time for some new friends.

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