What is your why? Why are you doing this?

MysteriousMerlin wrote: »

My husband. We lost twins almost 2 years ago, after a very long struggle with infertility. We're no longer trying to have a family, so we just have each other. He wants me around for a long time, I guess. I don't care either way.

I'm really very sorry for your loss

I wanted to be healthy for the first time in many many years. I have been overweight since I was 4 years old and obese since I was 10. I really wanted to be just a normal size and know what it was like to be healthy and feel good. At age 46 and at almost 350# I finally started. After 20 months I was down 188 pounds and weighed a healthy 160. I can't tell you how good it feels! I wish it hadn't taken so long, but better late than never.

This isn't the reason why I'm doing this, but it is what sparked the thoughts. I've been in a long distance relationship for almost 2 years now, and we're finally getting the chance to visit in February. I have always hated myself for how I look (I've been overweight since middle school about 10 years ago), and I wanted to look and feel better for when he arrives.

As I continued losing weight (10 lb down now), I realized I was eager to lose this weight for myself. I've always dreamed of dressing up as my favorite game characters or even just clothes shopping for things actually on sale (rather than specialty stores or old woman style clothing)

It's not easy. There have been times where I've eaten too much. And I'm okay with that. I realize this isn't something that will change over night. After I eat too much, I just start over. At least I haven't gained the 10 lb back! I've been eating at maintenance (for current weight) even when I was 'binging'.

With my realization that I wanted to lose weight for myself, I've found a love for the gym. It's not necessary to lose weight, but I revel in the accomplishment of going 30 minutes straight on an elliptical. Recently I've been a little depressed to cut out the strength training days in order to make those days dog walking days....but it was something that needed to be done. I felt guilty for going to the gym while neglecting walking my dog, and I felt guilty walking my dog and not going to the gym. In the end, my dog is more important than those extra 3 days. My dog only has me to open the world up for her, while I can easily go out myself. It wasn't fair to her.

Either way, I'm keeping up with this. I'm determined. My end goal is to be anywhere between 115 and 130 lb. I want to commute to work via bike. However, for now, I will be losing the weight first before I make those major changes.

I looked in the mirror and was disgusted by what I saw. I saw pictures of myself and was disgusted by what I saw. I bent over to tie my shoes and was short of breath. Then, I stepped on a scale and it said 328 pounds. I wanted to cry. I didn't do anything yet though. I felt defeated and hopeless. Then, I found out that I was to be a grandfather. I thought about how fortunate I was to be able to spend a lot of time with my grandfathers and how this kid deserves to have me around for a long time and how I want to be there. When my son was younger, we would round up his friends and get football games going. When he got older, we played softball together. I want to be able to do those same things with my grandkids. I want to be the fit guy in the group instead of the fat guy. I want my loving wife to be able to look at me and think WOW! I want to be able to go on vacation and be able to take her horseback riding or zip lining and not have to miss out because I am too fat and over the weight limit. I want to be able to go to a pool or lake and not be terrified of taking my shirt off. I want to look and feel good again and now, I want to inspire those around me to do the same.

It was suggested to me that a loss of even 20 lbs would help my arthritic knees from hurting constantly and impacting my mobility. I really want/need knee surgery so I had to face the fact that I was morbidly obese and if I didnt get it under control I was not going to get the surgery. Or live to see grandchildren. Or continue to play with the dog. Or a lot of other day to day things that people of a lower weight take for granted. And I was turning 60 - if not now, when?

I have been told that I am incredibly stubborn so I turned that to my advantage and lost about 30 lbs watching my portions. Then I found MFP and it all came together for me, like a eureka moment, or a blast from space, or a lightening bolt from the blue - you get it!

I have lost 110 lbs since that doctors appointment in October last year. My knee surgery is scheduled for Nov 7 - losing weight did not help them, but it will most definitely help my recovery and prognosis.

And now I can roll around on the floor with the dog. I have a new appreciation for simple things like that, and am grateful for all the advice, laughs, tips, recipes, snarky comments and other events that I have seen on MFP in the last year because it kept me on the straight and narrow, and gave me hope and encouragement that I could be successful.

I am eagerly awaiting maintenance in another few pounds - 10 more and I am in the overweight category! But I do worry about it too - not only can I be stubborn but I can be a bit self satisfied and smug too, and I have to guard against being too cocky for my own good and letting standards slip. But I know that logging and calorie counting tools have gotten me this far - I have faith they will be able to help me in the next phase.

Hubby says I look amazing - I may be down to wedding weight at this stage. That was 37 years ago. Life is good.

For my kids!

I thought I had come to terms with my fat and that I could be happy being overweight so I decided to try online dating. I met someone wonderful within 1 month and fell in love. Fast forward to 6 months and I find out the man is the worst kind of evil. A narcissistic con man whose only goal in life is to take advantage of unsuspecting women using online dating sites. He targets overweight women who may not have much self esteem. I was so angry that I didn't love myself enough to keep this from happening and part of that was my weight. I do not like the way I look and am not comfortable in my own skin. Part of my journey into loving myself involves getting healthy and to a place where I am comfortable with myself so that I will repel any other evil that comes my way. It is very slow going for me but every time I feel like giving in, I think of the hurt and anger that befell me and I power through. Its been 12 weeks and I have so far lost 15lbs.

In July I became a member of the zipper club (double bypass surgery) and never want to go through that again.

Appearance. I could say "good health" and blah blah, and that's a perfectly valid goal to have, but when it comes down to the real nitty gritty self-examination, yeah, I want to be sexy (er). And I'm cool with that.

Blood pressure meds since the mid 80s, atrial fibrillation, occasional gout attacks due to the blood pressure meds, back pain and joint pain from being fat, lack of energy, getting out of breath when I walk or run, being 69 years old and realizing the clock's running out on getting fit and enjoying life. I don't want to end up spending my final years sitting on my *kitten* in front of the TV until I die like my mom.