The almost creepy but not quite creepy neighbor.
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LorinaLynn
Posts: 13,247 Member
in Chit-Chat
I just need to get this off my chest...
I have a tiny - and I mean tiny! 30" deep 8 foot - pool in my back yard. A kiddie pool. Just the perfect depth to soak up to my armpits or float on a raft. The yard is fenced in, but just a chain link, and I have Rose of Sharon planted as a privacy hedge along the fence, but as luck would have it, the ones near the back of the yard, near the pool, didn't grow very well, so there's not as much privacy as I'd like.
The guy two houses over (the yards are very narrow) is way too friendly for my taste. And I'm pretty much a hermit. I like to keep to myself. When I go outside, I want to just read my book, not chit chat with the neighbors. Especially chit chatting with an octogenarian while I'm in my bikini. It just feels wrong.
It's gotten to where I hate to go outside when he's out in the yard. I know this is my personal problem, being introverted and antisocial, but I just wish he would read the not so subtle social cues (attempt at a privacy hedge, nose in a book, back to him when possible) that I'm NOT interested in carrying on a conversation with him. Yet I don't want to be rude and say, "Look, old man... LEAVE ME ALONE!"
Last year when I had the same complaint on FB, some folks said, "Oh, he's just lonely!" He's not. He has plenty of company all the time, lives with his wife, and has lived here since the dawn of time so he knows everyone in the neighborhood. He's just too friendly.
So now it's about 90 degrees, and I'm inside sweating while my pool sits empty, and he's out there smoking a cigar. Upwind from me, of course.
Maybe I should revert back to my insecure teenage days and wear a tshirt over my bathing suit. I'm not insecure about my body any more. Just uncomfortable being looked at.
I have a tiny - and I mean tiny! 30" deep 8 foot - pool in my back yard. A kiddie pool. Just the perfect depth to soak up to my armpits or float on a raft. The yard is fenced in, but just a chain link, and I have Rose of Sharon planted as a privacy hedge along the fence, but as luck would have it, the ones near the back of the yard, near the pool, didn't grow very well, so there's not as much privacy as I'd like.
The guy two houses over (the yards are very narrow) is way too friendly for my taste. And I'm pretty much a hermit. I like to keep to myself. When I go outside, I want to just read my book, not chit chat with the neighbors. Especially chit chatting with an octogenarian while I'm in my bikini. It just feels wrong.
It's gotten to where I hate to go outside when he's out in the yard. I know this is my personal problem, being introverted and antisocial, but I just wish he would read the not so subtle social cues (attempt at a privacy hedge, nose in a book, back to him when possible) that I'm NOT interested in carrying on a conversation with him. Yet I don't want to be rude and say, "Look, old man... LEAVE ME ALONE!"
Last year when I had the same complaint on FB, some folks said, "Oh, he's just lonely!" He's not. He has plenty of company all the time, lives with his wife, and has lived here since the dawn of time so he knows everyone in the neighborhood. He's just too friendly.
So now it's about 90 degrees, and I'm inside sweating while my pool sits empty, and he's out there smoking a cigar. Upwind from me, of course.
Maybe I should revert back to my insecure teenage days and wear a tshirt over my bathing suit. I'm not insecure about my body any more. Just uncomfortable being looked at.
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Replies
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I tell ya what I will start coming over and floatin round in your pool in a bikinni... that should drive him off quickly LOL... no really I have a creepy neighbor too... sometimes I feel guilty for wishing they would move but mostly I just wish they would move!0
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Live your life the way you want to. Forget he is even there. You take control...don't give it to him (which you seem to be doing).0
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I get it. I wouldn't like it either. Your back yard is an extension of your home and you should have an expectation of some privacy. Front yards are fair game, but people should leave each other alone in the back yard unless they are invited over.
By the way, for once this is not a metaphor, although if it was, it would still be true.0 -
Yeah , I have similar problem of creepy neighbors or some men in general. Maybe you need to tell him to stop! It is not your fault you look hot!0
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Put some head phones on and when he talks to you, you won't be able to hear him. But, keep it out of the water. If that's possible! Well, good luck. (:0
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Yipes! Maybe you can make a show of putting large headphones on (They really don't have to be plugged into anything) so it looks like you will not be able to hear/carry on a conversation? I know that you wouldn't want any electronics near a large body of water, but even making a show of it would at least deter chatty neighbors?0
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Maybe you could plant another, bigger hedge?
I hate when people won't get the message that you just want to be left in peace0 -
I got one of those free standing off set umbrellas to put by my boys' pool, and I kick it way to the side using it to block the view of my kids in their pool from the house next door, (sometimes they swim in just their underwear and I don't trust anyone) I don't even use it over the pool for shade (the pool is under a big pine tree anyway) I totally get your desire to be left alone, I HATE random people talking to me when I'm obviously not looking for it....I'm very much a hermit unless it's on my terms!!0
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eww, but i hear ya..we have NO fence in front or back, as we are renting, but i feel like i have to hide from people when i go out to smoke..everyone and their neighbors thinks just because i am out, that means come and talk to me..i get unwanted attention from old guys all the time, and it's gross..i feel for ya, get headphones, and pretend you cant hear him..best of luck :flowerforyou:0
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He must know he's creepy by now - he's had 80 years to figure it out. Try saying something to his wife. She oughta straighten him out a little.0
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haha we live in a townhouse and my neighbors deck comes out on the second floor right above our tall fence line so he can look down on us right in our backyard and he always always looks down and starts talking. Our new best friend, A large patio umbrella that we position just so for privacy. A great investment!! Too bad you're kinda a hermit because you look like you are a lot of fun to hang with!!!0
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I am also an introvert who really enjoys my down time (aka alone time). I usually go with something like, "I get so little time to myself that I really enjoy some quiet time with a good book." If subtle doesn't work, I go for direct. As someone else said, it is your time to use the way you want so take control with a direct statement.0
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Ignore him, and if he starts conversation, just say, sorry I really want to read this 'xxxxxx'can we visit another time? I know, easier said than done. The umbrella comment looks doable too.0
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This is why I live in the Country0
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Ignore him, and if he starts conversation, just say, sorry I really want to read this 'xxxxxx'can we visit another time? I know, easier said than done. The umbrella comment looks doable too.
Oh yeah on the headphones too.0 -
Omg! That sucks! I hate people like that. I'm relatively introverted too and unless I start a conversation with someone, I usually don't want to have one. But like you said, some people just don't take the clues.
He's not nearly as creepy as my neighbors, though. There's an old couple across the street from me in their 80s and the lady sits out on her porch and spies on everyone with her binoculars. It's creepy going outside to get the mail and she's staring at me through binoculars from across the street. Lol.0 -
Put some head phones on and when he talks to you, you won't be able to hear him. But, keep it out of the water. If that's possible! Well, good luck. (:
I was going to suggest this. And if you don't want to listen to music because you're reading, put them on anyway. Get big ones that he'll be able to see. Then when you ignore him, he'll think you just can't hear him.0 -
put up the big private property sign and go to home depot and buy a real fence0
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Or you could just suck it up. You're a hottie. Guys like to look at hotties. THats how it works.
Yea, sometimes you want privacy. Sucks living in the city, eh? He's not doing anything wrong, and complaining to his wife will just make you seem insecure and paranoid.
Not trying to be rude... but honestly. Buy a bigger hedge if it really bothers you that much. Or setup a shade tent on his side of the pool.0 -
Put headphones on - even if you're not listening to anything - he won't bother trying to start a conversation with you. (I do this on public transport all the time)
Mirrored sunglasses so you can see if he's looking at you.
If none of these work - a big fence0
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